A daily blog about all things Candy
"Chelsea was dead-set on using that coupon at the 5-7-9 shop."Not my best work. Especially if 5-7-9 shops no longer exist.
She passed by me, like some ethereal vision . . . a sudden but welcome mist off the seaside marshes, that reminds you of warm summer sun and salt air, even when the last of those golden days has passed into cold gray autumn. I longed to speak to her, but my voice caught in my throat . . . was I even worthy of drawing her notice . . . her glance . . . her attentions, for even a brief moment? When I opened my eyes, her gaze met mine, and I froze, until her soft sonorous words broke the silence . . ."Where the hell is this big 'ol CHEE-to dis-PLAY, do you know? I got me a coupon fer 3 bags fer 4 DALL-ers . . ."XO
"Is this the lite one?"
"I wonder why my ass has moved up a foot and a half on my back...Hmm, oh look...Cheez Doodles!"
Wow, denim IS slimming.CLEAN UP!! Aisle 3!!And that comment from "Jim" is crazy funny!!! HAAHAHAHAH!!!
I'd hit that.
Did you get that off of the ‘people of Wal-Mart site? I just found the thing and it’s as addictive as Awkward Family Photos. If not, go check them both out, you’ll laugh your ass off. -HA
Nice job using peopleofwalmart.com. Good times."The sad thing is, this is her front. You should see her from behind."
Help - My Muffintop just exploded!
Suddenly, I feel VERY good about myself. Thanks Candy!
(checking herself in the mirror before going to WalMart)Oh yeah, I still got it goin on! Today is the day I catch me a man!
My babydaddy gonna need these special energy drinks for tonight. After all I'm wearing my clean daisy dukes!
Introducing...the denim diaper! With leakgaurd protection at the legs!
From fairest creatures we desire increase,That thereby beauty's rose might never die,But as the riper should by time decease,His tender heir might bear his memory:But thou contracted to thine own bright eyes,Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,Making a famine where abundance lies,Thy self thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel:Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament,And only herald to the gaudy spring,Within thine own bud buriest thy content,And tender churl mak'st waste in niggarding:Pity the world, or else this glutton be,To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.
I'm baaaack! Candy, you've totally ruined my attempts to stay focused today. I can't coming back to your blog to look at this pix.I just don't understand how ANYONE could step outside their house looking like THAT! That hooka MUST be drunk!She's bringing down the curve for ENTIRE country!
Apparently the hotdogs out of the casing are half off.
"If it's good enough for Britney......"
"Oh man she's hawt"! "I'd just wish she would'a bent down fer da diet soda & we'd all see heaven"!Go to--->http://www.tasteslikesnot.blogspot.comTasty has a good take on Wal*Mart.
Can I get a price check on this muffin top?
"I was at Walmart, looking for Ipecac syrup, and explosively realized I didn't need to find it anymore."
Daisy showed up for her job interview for the plumber's job dressed in uniform, hoping to impress the boss.
"man I'm glad my daughter and i wear the same size"
Does it play music if you put a quarter in that slot?
Cleanup in aisle 9....
oops, sorry madtexter...saw you said the same thing...
I bet she has actual coins in her coin slot!
"Be honest, does my butt make these pants look small?"
meanwhile back at home, her eight year old daughter said, "dang, mom got a hold of my shorts again!"
"What're you looking at?...if this was the beach I'd be wearing my thong!"
the final sign of the apocalypse.
"Do you need help carrying your bags Ms Minnelli?"A little dated but you get the idea...
Oh God! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!! How could you do this to me Candy? What did I ever do to you?!?!?!
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