Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm Too Old For This Crap



Saturday night, being All Hallows Eve, marks the American tradition of dressing in costume and commencement of the tricks for treats. Being the mother of a teen-aged girl and boy means that my trick or treat responsibilities have changed from escorting the festivities to chaperoning the festivities. There will be no trick or treating on the streets of my sleepy little town for my kids. They tell me that they are too old and waaay too cool for that. It's now house parties on the streets of my sleepy little town. This year, the parents got together and decided that the Halloween party would be held in our small, historical town tavern, which we rented out for Saturday night.

We meticulously put together a nutritious menu of pizza, pretzels, chips, cookies, soda and candy for the shindig. There is a group of us, with spouses and significant others, that will be on hand to chaperon the evening. Truth be told, we are planning on having a better time than the kids. We've got music, goodies for the kids and plenty of alcohol for the adults, which we will discretely hide from the kids. We decided that the teens would be best served if we incorporated a philanthropic spirit, and made it mandatory to bring a canned good or non-perishable food item to benefit the town food pantry for the elderly as their admission to the party. We are expecting a few hundred kids. Good times.

But of course, there is a slight hitch, witch effects me personally. At our organizational meeting last night, I was informed that since we made costumes mandatory for the kids, that the adults must come in costume too.

UGGH! Are you kidding me?? I'm too old for this crap. Really.

I have no more desire to show up in costume, than I do to get a Barium Enema. Can't I just write a check or something??? (sorry, did I just write that out loud?)
I was wracking my brain last night trying to figure out how I could get dressed up in costume without really getting dressed up in costume. The best I could come up with is I would dress as a hippie/flower child wearing my tye dye shirt that has big bell sleeves and put a peace sign headband around my forehead.
Lame, I know.
So I ask you today to give me some suggestions for a costume that allows me to be dressed up without really being dressed up. Be creative, but the goal here is to not put much effort into the actual costume, and a no-effort costume idea for me and My Guy would be acceptable too.
Give me your best bloggers, because you are just about the smartest people I know!! And thanks.

21 comments:

Bill Stankus said...

Since this party involves teenagers, why not dress up as cops? It's fun bumming out teens.

If not that, go as tourists just in from a civilized country ... perhaps dress as matadors or maybe you could be Heidi and your guy could wear lederhosen and both of you have large steins of lager.

Or go as NY Yankees, that should start some conversations.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

go dressed like teenagers...

The Peach Tart said...

I still like the hippie idea

Jim said...

Hmmm . . . seems like "famous couples" is a good basic theme, then, since you both need to dress. Does hubby look anything like Letterman? Go as Dave and his "assistant," with a pillow under your shirt.

Big Papi and Manny . . .

Tom and Giselle . . .

Kanye West and Taylor Swift . . .

Spartan cheerleaders . . .

Teachers from the kids' school . . .

Just have fun. And try not to say "like" for every 5th word ;-)

XO

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

@Bill:

THAT'S BRILLANT!!

I second the cop idea!

Scott Oglesby said...

I was going to offer to get a barium enema in exchange for you wearing the costume pictured above (with photos). Oh well. I’d probably go with your idea because of its simplicity. And you’d make a pretty flower child. If you wanted to go totally off the wall for laughs though, you could go as an astronaut wearing a diaper, and carrying a taser. Your boyfriend could go as an astronaut as well, but with a t-shirt that says, ‘don’t tase me bro.’ Then you’d be getting two entertaining stories for the price of one.

BeckEye said...

My niece did this one time for a party when she didn't feel like getting dressed up. She just wore a baseball hat and glued a leaf to a string that hung from the brim in front of her face. Occasionally, she would just blow on the leaf, thereby making her a leaf blower.

Or, if you're too old for this, put curlers in your hair, wear a bathrobe and some slippers and be an old lady. At least you'll be comfy!

Jay said...

Just wear t-shirts and jeans and tell everyone that you're supermodels who do jeans ads.

Okay, I'm lame.

Actually the most comfortable costume I know is to just wear scrubs and go as a nurse. The scrubs can double as PJs. If you wear PJs. Which I would be totally interested in knowing whether you do or not.

Did that sound creepy? Because I can get creepier if you want. ;-)

Came over from Scott's blog.

Heff said...

Dress as "Little Ho Peep", just because I wanna see pictures.

The Dental Maven said...

Paint your car or bicycle tires with black paint. Lay an old t-shirt front-down on the street and drive over it. Let them dry, put them on and go as Road Kill.

SkylersDad said...

Go in pajamas, it is comfortable and the only time it is acceptable.

Or, you could go as a barium enema and just explain this post all night long...

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My husband once cut a hole in a checkered table cloth and wore it like a pancho. Then he taped pictures of food all over it, carried around a bag of chips all night and called himself the munchies. The man is a genius and he was very popular (he's cute and he had the chips).

I like Beckeye's leaf blower idea too - very smartass.

madtexter said...

Dress up like nerds. You know, high-waisted 'mom jeans' and a bedazzled top, mismatched colors/patterns.

You'll totally embarass your daughter - ha!!!

It's your right!

Jimmy Bastard said...

Rub cigarette ash in your kids hair, remove your undies, and tell everyone you've come as Britney Spears.

Scope said...

Go with the pun costume.

1 - Google pix of Robert DeNiro.
2 - Print said pix.
3 - Affix pictures to a T-Shirt.

Mucho DeNiro!

Joanie M said...

I always hated trying to figure out costumes. The hippie idea sounds good.

the walking man said...

Got blue and a white bed sheets? Rightly wrap yourself in them, go as the Virgin Mary and then when the alcohol is consumed you can change into to dirty laundry laying in a corner on the floor. The old man can dress in work clothes and go as a laundry man.

Cora said...

Hold an empty picture frame in front of your face and go as a work of art.

Elenka said...

The next days post photo works for me.

Knucklehead said...

Wear a Patriots jersey, frilly skirt, lipstick, and high heeled shoes and go as Tom Brady.

mike said...

One year I forgot to get a costume, so I told everybody I was dressed up as Jon. True story.