I Could Think Of Better Things To Do In My Car

It's certainly no secret that I LOVE make-up. I write about it, I sell it, I touch, feel and work with it every day. It has somehow become my life's work as I understand make-up and it understands me. But something I can't understand is how a woman can put her make-up on while driving/operating her car.

Let's put aside for a moment the fact that the BILLION dollar a year cosmetic industry, most definitely, never intended the user to flippantly apply her make-up in a short period of time, like during the operation of a motor vehicle. Let's talk first about the hazard that is make-up application during the drive. It is the the epitome of stupidity, second only to drunk driving and texting behind the wheel. As a make-up professional, it is my duty to educate my clients in the technique of expert make-up application, something that is, at best, the right of any consumer buying product. There are certain steps involved in the process, some integral to the finished product, some not.

These steps take time and concentration, and cannot, I repeat, cannot be completed in the few minutes at a red light or peripherally done while driving on a patch of straight road. It's just a fact. Plain and simple. Have we become a society that is so harried and hurried with jam packed schedules that we put our own safety and the safety of others on the road in question to save 15 minutes of time? Has it really come down to that? Or are these violators complete friggin morons? I'm betting on the latter.

Yet, I see it all the time. And it completely infuriates me. This coming from a make-up pusher, dealer, and addict, albeit a responsible one. I will admit to pulling out my lip gloss at a red light, opening it up, swiping the applicator across my lips and then returning it to my purse. A process that takes an entire 5 seconds, while my car is still at a complete stop and then some. But to think I could apply eye liner or mascara, something that would require my full focal attention while driving amounts to nothing more than a pompous assumption that "Super Woman" is capable of multi-tasking to the highest degree.

And how many of these drive-by make-upper's have caused major accidents or worse vehicular homicides because of their poor choices or time management skills? I think the answer would surprise us all. Yesterday, President Obama signed an initiative that would make texting behind the wheel illegal simply because it is an activity that requires focal attention. Is make-up application behind the wheel next? I certainly hope so.

As a make-er-upper, I give you permission to "flip off" the next violator you see with blatant disregard for the simple rules of the road. Let her know she's an idiot who's putting us all at risk for the purpose of beauty. Because really, she's ugly and no amount of mascara or eyeliner, applied hurriedly is going to fix that.

I could think of better things to do in my car. Like drive.