Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Dear Old Aunt Flo

Since it's still the holiday season, my dear old Aunt Flo is in town. Aunt Flo is NOT my favorite Aunt. She's not even my "Auntie". She's more like "Ant" Flo, (as in a small creature that walks the earth kind of ant). Oh yeah, and she's a real pain in the a**.
Things that always happen when Aunt Flo is visiting:
  1. I get kinda bitchy.

  2. Gotta have chocolate!

  3. My lower back hurts.

  4. Aunt Flo always knows just how to make me feel like sh*t.

Tonight it's New Years Eve and we are going to a friends house to celebrate. Of course I have to bring Aunt Flo with me. I have no choice. Aunt Flo is family. Come to think of it, she's not that bad, really. She's predictable as hell and sometimes when she comes for a visit, you thank the good Lord above. It's almost like she is a part of me, a part of the sisterhood. Looks like I'm ringing in 2009 with her so it's possible she could enlighten me with her wisdom on this eve of the new year. Or, her behavior could turn me into a hormonal wreck. It's still a toss up, you never quite know when it comes to Aunt Flo.


Sass said...

I had a procedure to remove my ability to have Aunt Flo as a visitor. This is way TMI, isn't it.

The bitch still shows up. She's a pesky one, that Aunt Flo.

There is absolutely no point to this comment.

Happy New Year!!!!

SouthernBelle said...

Yay TMI Time! This is a type of conversation I haven't had since I switched jobs to an office full of boys!

Aunt Flo is never good to me. She kicks me in the guts for about 5 days out of every 28.

I always try to have a cheeseburger when she visits, to keep up my iron levels (since I'm vegetarian at home).

For some reason for about a week before she visits my emotional landscape becomes much more unpredictable than usual and I'm more of a space-cadet too.

Let's get her, girls!

Heff said...

"Aunt Flo" is currently visiting my home as well. She hasn't made a formal announcement, but I can tell she's there.

Dammit !!!

Gwen said...

A year or so ago I ran into Aunt Flo's ex-husband, Uncle IUD, and I haven't seen her since. Uncle IUD is a little "stuck-up" but as long as he keeps her far away from me, we're cool.

SouthernBelle said...

LOL - I nominate Gwen for Comment of the Year!

Alex Galvez said...

Happy New Year and I hope the current of sentiment toward your Aunt Flo passes as you know she's the kind who seems to visit every frickin' month! (I am one of Scope's friends from college)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Hey Alex and Heff-Welcome! And YES Gwen! That goes into the archives as a strong contender for Hall of Fame 09'

Heff said...

I actually have ONE HELL of a post about Corona. Check my "What's On Tap, Heff?" label feature, and scroll down, if so inclined, lol !

Word Verification : "Scroll". - Weird! -

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Damn that bitch-always gettin' in the way!

LYDIA said...

Hey good luck with your PERIOD!lol. Hope it's short and painless :)

Love you - HAVE FUN TONIGHT, just forget about Flo.

Cora said...

Why, how funny, my dear Aunt Flo is visiting as well. Weird how she always crashes all my holidays and vacations no matter how much I try to dodge her. For some reason Aunt Flo just won't stick to a schedule; she knocks on the door at all the most inconvenient times. Stupid bitch even invited herself along on my trip to Disneyland. *sigh* Oh well, better than a visit from Cousin Unplanned Pregnancy, huh?

Scope said...

I guess you will just have to "go with the Flo" tonight.

Way off topic - How did the Babe Ruth picture work out?

Dr Zibbs said...

When the clock strikes 12 tonight, you should emerge and soak Aunt Flo with a hose. Not a fire hose that's going to hurt her, but a regular garden hose.

Andy said...

I have sometimes begged the Lord for a girl to see Aunt Flo. And Aunt Flo comes, and I praise the Lord, and sacrifice my first born as an offering, which kind of makes the Aunt Flo point mute.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

With all of the awesome birth control options available, I don't understand why one would allow this visitor every month! Crazy!

Have fun tonight, in spite of the third wheel.

Miss Alex said...

Bhahahaha.... I love Aunt Flo... I get twice as ballsy and she reminds me that I don't have any kids yet... she's a great

Alan said...

This post should come with a warning label!
Did you play the Picture Puzzle on Robot Nine yet???

Lisa said...

OMG! I so did NOT get this post until I read the other comments. I was really thinking you had a living, breathing Aunt Flo... most people do have a real person like that in the family.


AngieS said...

Yeah, she arrived here today too.

Stinks that she had to come over on New Year's Eve, huh?

Heff said...

Happy New Year from Heff's Bar and Grill, Candy !

For YOU I hope 2009'S a Dandy !

~E said...

I don't know about you but sometimes I can't wait for her to arrive. I mean, like head out the door, wringing my hands hoping and praying that this is the day she'll come visit me.

But then again that could just be me.

Joe D. said...

Heh. . .I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't envy women. . .Wlecome back btw the I hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

It is April and Aunt Flo keeps coming each month. We know all about it. We even wrote a song about it.

You can hear samples at

Let us know what you think. It is sure to make you crack a smile.

Rag on,
Kathryn of The Duncan Guy Band