Monday, November 9, 2009

Boob Jenner, er um, I mean, Bruce Jenner

I had planned on writing different post this morning, but I've got my tail feathers in a cluster over last night's "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"/The Wedding, 2 hour special, which I just so happened to catch on TV, and I'm ready for a good rant.

I want to begin my rant by acknowledging the fact that that this Kardashian/Jenner family are the largest assembly of despicable, selfish, self centered, mean spirited people I have ever seen on TV. This, of course, is the sole reason they are a ratings bonanza for Ryan Seacrest Productions. Not usually a fan of the show, I will admit to catching their antics on occasion and have even posted here about my disdain for this TV debacle, in the beginnings of my blogger career. And, like a good hypocrite should, I find myself watching this train wreck every now and again. I also can't get away from the recent tabloid fodder that is the Klohe Kardashian/Lamar Odom wedding that took place super speedy last month. Which was, interestingly, paid and filmed, by and for, the Kardashian's reality TV show.

But the wedding crap is not what I'm upset about.

I'm pissed about Bruce Jenner and why he has allowed THIS to happen to him. I'm talking about how this one time American Hero is treated by this gaggle of vile women who are his so-called family. Truth be told, Bruce Jenner jumped shark when he became the recipient of the worst plastic surgery job ever, but I can't say Bruce's Olympic glory was lost on my inner sports fan. His 1976 gold medal decathlon victory solidified his status as an American sports icon forever.

But a gold medal does not make him a rocket scientist.

I'm saying that Brucey needs to be responsible for letting these hags walk all over him and make him look like the complete boob that he is. I got a little insight to Bruce Jenner last night and he gained, almost but not really, my admiration, and most certainly, my pity.

I'm not sure if it's a gag for the TV cameras, or the way things have always been, but Bruce, it seems, is always odd man out. They are constantly scheming behind his back and doing those outrageous things that they do, only to get foiled in the end by Bruce. Kinda, because they make it clear that they really don't care what Bruce thinks. It's as if he is their moral compass, but these ladies would rather be lost in the world of immorality.

Last night was "the wedding" show. Probably a ratings scheme, the wedding had to be planned in 10 days and the entire family was in on the planning except Bruce....As a matter of fact, Klohe didn't even want to tell Bruce, until she got her ring. Which happened to be two days before the wedding. Meanwhile Captain Oblivious, and his bad hair, is walking around the house while his wife and children are plotting, I mean, planning a huge wedding he knows nothing about. Then, while watching TV with his step-son Robert, he hears ON THE NEWS, that Klohe is engaged to Lamar Odom, a guy he has yet to meet. Bruce is, understandably upset.

There is not one ounce of respect shown to Bruce by this family. Klohe hardly introduces Lamar to Bruce at a dinner before the wedding rehearsal, and she lets him know how she really feels about him when she chooses her brother Rob instead of him to walk her down the aisle. Of course, the drama is played out during the rehearsal dinner, when Bruce stands to speak, uninvited, before everyone. He begins by talking about Klohe's dad, Robert, and what does he do? He cries. So does everyone else (except Klohe). But, one can tell he speaks from the heart, and here's where Bruce does the most honorable thing. After years of being walked on by these little bitches, he tells them that he promised their dad he would take care of his girls, and he ask Lamar to promise to take care of Klohe. Unbelievable.

I have to say, the dude must really love his wife and kids despite the way they treat him, because the Kardashians are not worthy of the love and devotion of Bruce. After the rehearsal dinner, a few hours before the scheduled wedding, Klohe finally asks Bruce to walk her down the aisle. He, of course, accepts because why would he want to ruin his sucker streak now? And we are supposed to be touched by this. I can't help thinking that it was planned for Bruce to walk her down the aisle all along. In fact, I'm thinking the whole Bruce in the dark thing has to be a ratings ploy. No self-respecting man would endure the treatment Bruce gets from his family for nothing. There has to be some zeros attached to his portrayal in this show.

The upside of all of this is that thanks to "Keeping up with the Kardashians" an entire new generation of people know him by name again.
The down side is they know him as Boob Jenner.


Scott Oglesby said...

What. The. %$#@? Man am I out of the loop. Thank God for you or I wouldn’t even know Lamar Odom got married. I mean, I knew that such a show was on, even before I left, but I had never even seen previews for it. I can’t believe how bad Bruce looks. What ever happened to Shapiro? Never mind, I have a lot of googling to do now anyway.

I’ll tell you this though; you just made me want to watch the show….

The Dental Maven said...

Yup. If it weren't for you, Candy, I'd never know there was a TV world outside of Comcast's Center Ice!

Mr. Condescending said...

If their house needs gets a crack in their vinyl siding, they can just peel parts of bruces face off to repair it.

Slyde said...

when i watched bruce on "im a celebrity, get me out of here" about 3 summers ago, i simply could not BELIVE what he looked like.

how the hell do you do that to yourself?

Cora said...

Never seen it. Never intend to. It sounds horrible.

Cora said...

Btw, there's an award for you on my blog. Enjoy! :-)

Jimmy Bastard said...

Only in Amerikay... me, I'd rather be a craggy looking feck.

Knucklehead said...

Never watched the show, but I did have a serious WTF moment when I saw Jenner on something or other recently. Talk about plastic surgery gone wrong. Whatever happened to aging gracefully?

Anonymous said...

Phew! Now THAT was a post. (But I'm still not sure how you really feel about the situation? Hee, hee)

I hope your catharsis helped!

the walking man said...

I was in line at a Walgreen's to get some cigarettes on sale and the young (17-20) women behind me were going on about how whats her name was pregnant and so was her sister. Wow the things I have missed since switching to UVerse.

Bruce I believe has some serious mommy issues.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

ooft. guess i only know him as the boob jenner.

decathalon? Like ten events that gold medaled in.

crazy sauce.

Yeah, top atheletes are not known for their um, inteligence personalities.

but yeah. ick.