Re-entry Into The Earth's Atmosphere

I'm back and just adjusting to re-entry of the atmosphere of my life. These are just a few of my observations:

• When did Charlie Sheen decide he needed a press tour? As weird and unconventional as this latest media barrage is, I can't help but think this whole thing has been carefully orchestrated. Bizarre, yes. Stupid? I don't think so. I'm beginning to think that the guy is a real genius.

• Somehow, the fact that it snowed 4 or 5 inches the night I arrived home didn't seem to bother me one bit.

• Jet Blue totally has it figured out. I mean, everyone is created equal (no coach or first class), and they give you your own TV. I had all this work I brought with me with every intention of doing it quietly on the plane. That was until A&E had a Hoarders marathon on. So much for getting any work done. 3 and a half hours of Hoarders sure beats the hell out of work in my book.

• The Oscars were boring, but the fashions were not. The shot of Gwenneth above was my favorite dress of the night. I loved Juliana Rancic's dress also, which was designed by Christian Siriano, the Season four winner of Project Runway. So fierce.. I thought Scarlett Johanssen looked like a whore. Sorry.

• So I was watching the E Channel a few hours before the Oscar telecast and they had this whole fashion theme going on. They had all these people on I didn't know talking about fashion, and here's the thing: When did the Kardashians become experts on fashion? Kris Jenner was on hand as a fashion "expert"and, they had the two youngest ones filming in big sister Klohe's closet. Klohe later tweeted, which was scrolled across the screen, "Kendall and Kylie in my closet. How about asking me first? lol" Something tells me Klohe Kardashian knows when the E crews are filming in her closet. Puh-lease.

• Ryan Seacrest is a bigger star than some of the people he interviewed on the red carpet last night. Awkward.

• I'd really like Colin Firth to read me a bedtime story. Does the fact that he won an Oscar mean that I'd have to pay him the big bucks to do it now?

• Now that the Oscars are over, does this mean that the powers that be will stop shoving Natalie Portman down my throat. And I'm a fan, believe it or not.