Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Snoop Jingle Jing




I had to call the vet yesterday about an ailment my pug Jingles has and was told the doctor would call me back. When he did call back, he kept referring to my dog with my full last name, like "This is Dr. Jones calling about Jingles Smith." He'd continue on and then throw it out there again, "Jingles Smith can be seen at our Wayland office....we can fill any prescription for Jingles Smith"

It cracked me up. I realize that they do that in order to link owner to dog, but it got me to thinking what life would be like if dogs ruled the world. Or if Jingles ruled my world.
  • Food would be served all day long. Like a cruise ship, buffets of food would be strategically placed throughout the house like various decks on a ship, and the humans would be the servers. Of course.

  • Dogs could defecate and relieve themselves wherever and whenever they wanted. Just not where they sleep, if they could help it, and the humans would clean it up without saying a word.




  • Dogs would sit at the dinner table, AND the sofa AND the bed AND sleep under the covers...and humans could too, if they didn't get in the dogs way. Humans are great for keeping dogs warm.
  • Dogs would be driven around until they had enough. Cars would be for a dog's "head hanging out the window" enjoyment and not much else. Also, to be driven to awesome dog parks where they could sniff every tree, bush, blade of grass and other dog's orifice to their hearts content.

  • Dogs would talk and humans would not. "Shut that G*d dammed human up!




  • Paris Hilton's face would be on a LOST poster.
  • Cats would not exist. What a waste of life.

  • Electric fences would be for the humans and dogs would have secret x-ray vision to be able to see exactly where the electric fence is. "Haahaaa, sucker! You ain't getting me again!"

  • There would be no racisim. Dogs come from too many different breeds and colors for any supremacy to exist.

  • Humans would have no authority. In my house they don't anyway, but in general...




  • In the dog world there would be a caste system. Doggie Rednecks would exist. Meet doggie Daryl and his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl.


  • Pugs would rule the world.......or a galaxy far, far away. "Buddy, I am your father..."

15 comments:

The Dental Maven said...

Dogs don't rule the world? My retired racing greyhound never got that memo.

RW said...

Can you do one of these for parakeets?

Jim said...

And your store would do a land-office business in sprays that smelled like someone's butt . . .

XO

[Lol . . . the "word verification" for this comment is "jeadah," the phonetic pronunciation for the beloved phrase "Jeter, you SUCK!!!"]

Joanie M said...

I KNOW my cats would not like that at all!

Funny stuff, Candy!

Heff said...

That Paris Hilton pic is CLASSIC.

On another note, I've often wondered if when Pugs take a dump, does it come out short, stocky, and wrinkled ?

SkylersDad said...

This is exactly how my dogs think the world runs!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I think I might change my name to "Jingles Smith" that way I'd be memorable and possibly could acquire a job where I have to dance around a pole in a bikini. :)

Also, it would be really nice if the chihuahua in the Paris Hilton photo, bent down and bit off her head. I'm just saying...

Slyde said...

i didnt know you had a pug! i LOVE those doggies..

madtexter ☺☺☺☺☺☺ (corey james) said...

Funny! My dogs poo wherever they want, and my cats clean it up. I think I got it pretty good that way.

Scope said...

I would think that Paris Hilton would be like, the dog's queen or something.

She is half Afghan Hound, right?

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Pug Vader is awesome.

Scott Oglesby said...

I love when the vets call them by their ‘full’ name. My vet in Florida was named Dr. Steve Sanders. He was even the right age. But every time I’d do a Dylan or Brandon impersonation he’d just stare at me.

I loved those images and I really loved your doggy world. Can I live there now?

Jingle said...

too funny,
loved your jingling words.
way to go.

Jingle said...

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/jingles-may-follower-award-week-3.html

friendship awards,
enjoy!

Fancy Schmancy said...

haha, most of these rules already exist in my house, and I'm telling you that the cats do not like it one bit!