Friday, May 6, 2011

Wally World's Muthas: Heff's I'd Hit That Edition

Hey Bloggers! It's a Mutha of a weekend and to salute all you mother's out there, I thought we'd play a little game with my favorite Friday crazees from WalMart.

I'm calling this the, "Heff's I'd Hit That Edition" as a tribute to one of my favorite mutha's Heff, from the now defunct, "Heff's Bar and Grill".

So say he and WE! The object here is in the comment section, you decide whether Heff would Hit That or not.

So I know my boy has standards, and I'm guessing here that Heff wouldn't hit that with a 50 ft pole. Jiggle or not, the lady has to have some manners. NOT. No way.

Miss Thang here is certainly interesting....a little rumble with the tumble, eh Heffy? I say you'd hit that.

And speaking of stripes, Freak of the week looks pretty sexy even if it may cause seizures if you stare too long. I'm thinking Heff would definitely hit that.

Star light, star bright, I'll rock you outta the stratosphere.

Oh Heff baby, let's hit it tonite.

Now this is just silly, and I'm not thinking Heff is a junk in the trunk kind of guy. No way Heff'd hit that. Maybe.

Now I know little something about skin and in my professional opinion, my girl here looks a little old to be parading the cheeks of her ass around town. Unless Heff has a cottage cheezed old lady on his bucket list, I'd say not hitting that. EVER.

And finally, my favorite. This is just the kind of FREAK groupie my boy is used to beating off with his bass at a Butlik show. Hell to the yeah! Heff'd hit that then order up some Moo Goo Gai Pan for after.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mutha's and to you Heffy, my favorite mutha.

Thanks for playing along.


Anonymous said...

Candy, you have a sickness that turns me on. Heff would hit the painted up chick. Drunk if someone was around, sober if no one was around. BamaTrav would film it if, Drunk and no one was around and would film it sober.....well....for lots of effin cash now would'nt I.

Anonymous said...

Hell, come to think of it...I might hit it, you'd be shocked if you knew some of the women I have hit.

Heff said...

Ok, I'm guessing that I SHOULDN'T give MY answers until everyone has has a chance to chime in......

.....and "defunct" is such an UGLY word....let's just go with "on hiatus", mmmkay ?

It's shit like THIS that might just pull me back IN, LOL !!!

BeckEye said...

I think he'd hit all of them with his car.

Furtheron said...

as I often feel like writing on ballot papers...

"None of the above"

However BamaTrav knows the main man better than I ... so maybe should listen to him

Anonymous said...

OK..The Joker says:

1 - No
2 - yes
3 - yes
4 - yes
5 - no
6 - Hell no..not even with my junk
7 - Hell yeah

So there are my votes...

Anonymous said...

Wait.....hold on.....after a grape blunt...I do remember that Heff LOVES chocolate candy canes.

Heff said...

Ok, with a Butlik jam scheduled only hours from now, my time is short - so let's get right down to Heff's Moral Turpitude, shall we ?

#1 - Moral Turpitude or not - HAILS, No !

#2 - I'll give an "A" for effort here, but I'd have to pass. Unless no one was looking....

#3 - "Oh Sweet Mystery of Life AT LAST I've Found You !" - F' To the YES !!! My money says the dvd she just rented is titled "SORREST RUMP", and that would also be HER STORY when I was done with her. THIS my lovely, is MARRIAGE MATERIAL !

#4 - She'd do "in a pinch" the general proximity to each side of that star.

#5 - Um, Is that a CHILD SEAT in the cart ? It's NOT MINE. NO, REALLY IT'S NOT. NO !

#6 - Oh, Good LORD, NO ! Hey, that's a damn fine Broom/Waste Collection ensemble in the background. I WOULD take THAT home.


#7 - Well, tattoo "love" on my ass, and call it the end ! I'll bet HER jugs are just as bountiful as the ones she's looking at on the shelves. She's hungry for pickles, AND SHE COULD CERTAINLY DEVOUR MINE ! YES !!!

B.E. Earl said...

Heff, didja notice the case of Bud on the bottom of #7's cart? Oh, yeah....

Anonymous said...

I am not Heff but a good friend of his. I can not speak on who he would or would not "hit" i'm guessing prob less than half of that line up.
But, as a friend and sometimes observer to the now defunct HBAG thus being observer by proxy of CDD I would without a doubt "hit"the author of this blog.
You are hot! Love the fidora as well. I have been known to rock the "rocker cowboy hat" and it is a big just gotta go with it and have the conf to pull it off. You rock girl and Heff, on a scale of 1-10 of hot blogger chics..Candy is an 11!

Elenka said...

Have no idea what you're talking about, but enjoyed looking at the picss! They always crack me up.

Heff said...

Earl - Good Eye !

I was so taken by that girl's MAGNITUDE, I didn't notice the Bud !

Scott Oglesby said...

I miss Heff!

The only one I’d hit is the stripey stripper. Imagine how fun that would be on some magic mushrooms. Yummy!

SkylersDad said...

Speaking as a very non picky guy, my only requirement is body heat.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

OMG!! Fourteen comments...The power of Heff!

Oh Heffy, I know you pretty well, don't I???

6 out of 7!

After I regained my breath after reading your comment, I LOVE that you played along. Thanks babe!

Truth be told, we know the only one you'd be hitting is the apple of your eye, your lovely Donna. Fun is fun, but reality is with a woman like Donna at your side you need no other.

Hot Damn, your own woman makes these skanks look like creatures. HA!

Heff said...

Aw, JeeWhiz !

In all honesty, what's #3's name, LOL !!!!