Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Separate Lives


After 25 years of marriage, former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announce their separation. It seems sad, really that this couple, who seemingly had it all, are ending their union. But it's not at all shocking. What would be shocking is if President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama announced their separation while in office, but this announcement is worth noting.

Marriage seems to be a detriment these days, and I wonder why most people can't or won't put up and shut up like our founding fathers did. What does this say about our society today? Are we not built for commitment? I come from a broken marriage, but it was not of my choosing. I thank the good Lord above for getting me out when he did, but I may not have chosen to end it if I was left to my own decision. THEN. Knowing what I know now, I would have ran for the hills, but in my ignorance, a modern girl like me had an old fashioned take on marriage.

Now I've gone and done it again and I'm so happy I did, pledging this time to honor and love and go where ever it is my marriage takes me. Am I crazy? I think not. I'm just hopeful and happy. Today. But what happens when that happiness fades and life throws some curve balls at me? Do we just get out? Is this how it works? It was reported that Marie Osmond just remarried her first husband, again. So what are the odds of them making it this time around? Did they just realize they made a rush decision to divorce the first time, or was there something worth saving there?

Jesse James is probably the most hated man in America for cheating on every body's sweetheart, Sandra Bullock. There's no way these two could have stayed together after the news of his illicit affairs during their marriage hit the press. But that's what society says. What did they say to each other in those final days? In some way I think when a man cheats, he knows that there is no turning back after the crime has been committed. I believe it is a cowards way to end a marriage because the act speaks the words the coward is unable to say.

Just like Brad and Jen. Brad knew he had crossed the line, and try as honorably as he might, everybody knew the line had been crossed. He had no choice, he had to get out. But what happens when there is just nothing left in the marriage tank void of infidelities? They separate. They live alone and trudge through life without the other. Maybe they turn to someone else. Maybe not. Maybe they work it out. Maybe they don't. Life offers no assurances, but I somehow hope that marriage has not become disposable.

Here's an old fashioned girl who believes in commitment, throwing her hat into the ring.

I hope Arnold and Maria work it out.

13 comments:

Joker_SATX said...

I don't even know how to respond to this post. To me, it's all so confusing...

Marriage today seems to be ,"you'll do for now until I find something better."

Heff said...

Marriage documents = THE PAPER OF DOOM !!!

Sandra Bullock should have PUT OUT more. I don't blame Jesse a damn bit.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Joker-confusing because I am not of that belief. I know you, Joker, are a married man, is this what you believe? And if it is, so be it. It is yours to have. This is just my soliloquy on the topic. For whatever it's worth.

Candy's daily Dandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Candy's daily Dandy said...

Heft-just like Tina Turner says, "what's love got to do with it."

BamaTrav said...

Usually in a situation like this, after a grape blunt, I start talking to the chick. Perhaps Maria has a blog,haha.

BamaTrav said...

Oh and thanks Wil.

Slyde said...

ive always thought Maria was a classy woman and Arnold has ALWAYS been a bit of a dick and a womanizer... i'm surprised they lasted as long as they did.

sybil law said...

Yeah - it really doesn't chock me a bit. I have similar views as you on marriage, Candy, but I don't think that infidelity necessarily means the end. I guess it depends on a lot of variables, really. However, I think if I were to get a divorce, I wouldn't want to get married again. Even when I'm happy (like now), it feels kind of like a noose to me. Probably sounds awful, but it's the truth. Some of us just aren't the marrying type, I guess. I don't know. :)

Scope said...

I hope they stay together. Or permanently separated.

I'm doing this once. I waited a long time this, and it's better than I imagined. This is forever.

heckle said...

Sorry, I don't think of Bullock as a sweetheart ... or as anything else ... she's just an average actress having done a few so-so movies.

And, I don't think commitment comes with a guarantee. If it works between two people, great. If not, separation is logical.

Pearl said...

Heckle pretty much said what I was thinking. I think the ability to end something that isn't working is a good thing.

Pearl

Cora said...

I thank God every day for my wonderful hubba hubba hubby, Scope!!!! Like he said, it's forever. It's the real deal. :-)

And I also thank God every day that my horrid first marriage broke up. That man did me a HUGE favor by running away with someone else. I have seen what my life would have been like if we had stayed together. Every time I cross paths with his haggard, bullied, sad wife, I realize what a gift it was that he left me.