Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I'm Doomed To Hell

So while I was on vacation in Disney, I spotted a guy with a massive smudge of dirt on his forehead and found myself unable to look away for a few moments.

What I quickly realized was that it was Ash Wednesday and that I, yet again, missed the boat on an important religious ritual. BUT, since I was on vacation, I said...F**K-IT! and decided to face that particular music when I got home. Well, after a wonderful steak dinner last Friday night, I remembered that that I had forgotten that it was the Lenten Season and that I needed to make my yearly sacrifice and TRY to observe the archaiac religious rituals I had learned as a child.

I have decided to give up cursing, cussing and the use of profanity until Easter Sunday which is ABSOLUTELY REDONK...but I maysuprise myself and get some brownie points for effort.

As I said, I'm doomed to hell, and in case your wondering, this is what any and all confrontations in my world will be like for the next few weeks.




F*#K, I'm screwed.....

15 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I couldn't possibly give up cussing! What do you do when you drop a hammer on your foot? Yelling "Oh gosh, that sure hurt!" doesn't quite hack it.

I'm giving up Lent for Lent. It's easy too, what with me not being Catholic, not being religious and not observing it to begin with. It's called a "win win" situation!

LegalMist said...

I'm giving up cooking and cleaning for Lent. The kids and husband will just have to pick up the slack there for a month or so!

Heff said...

That story had my COMPLETE ATTENTION when I read "So while I was on vacation in Disney, I spotted a guy with a massive..."

then the story went to shit, lol !

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

I dunno, Candy, writing F!#K isn't fooling the Lord. HE knows what it means.

Jim said...

Hmmm . . . you didn't even have a piece of the true cross in your pocket, or pass by a vendor selling indulgences, or anything?

Wow . . . you ARE in trouble. Don't they always have a way out for you people, though? Confession every day for a month, or praying the Rosary, or something?

XO

Homemaker Man said...

F**k that.

The Dental Maven said...

I thought you weren't supposed to give up the essentials. Oh well, what the f*** do I know?

Dr Zibbs said...

Ashes on the forehead has to be one of the stupidest rituals ever.

RW said...

Fallen Catholic here. Spent the first 5 years of my schooling being herded by nuns. Think "Bells of St. Mary's."

Yeah.

I forgot about the ashes part. We thought we were so fuc... godd... very holy.

(cough)

Slyde said...

you've apparently hit the big time, missy. you are now officially filtered from my work computer as an "entertainment" site.

Realliveman said...

You'll be fine. God forgives, remember :)

Cora said...

Damn it, I'm not giving up ANYTHING! I'm too stressed right now to give a f*ck - if I give up anything I just know it will be what finally pushes me over the edge. So, for the sake of myself and everyone in a five mile radius around me, I'm ignoring Lent. La-la-la-la-la, Lent, I can't hear you! So there.

SkylersDad said...

To honor my recovering Catholic state, I decided to give up my remaining dignity.

Scope said...

I'm giving up eating breakfast at McDonald's before work, eating dinner out alone (I can go out with others and be social, since I tend to be a homebody), and French fries anytime.

It may or may not gel perfectly with my desire to shed a few punds before the wedding.

the walking man said...

May as well chalk 2010 up as another year of being a lapsed Catholic and wait for next year to begin again. Just don't hold off until late 2012.