How The Hell Did That Happen?

Really? It's already over?

The summer flew by and I hardly realized it was over. A waitress at a restaurant last night said to me when I ordered scrod, "Oh cmon, you can do better than that. It's the last weekend of the summer." Then it hit me. It's Labor Day Weekend already? I guess I have been so focused on Frick going to college and Frack's golf that I didn't even give it a thought.

I didn't really do much this summer, but I stayed close to home; close to the heart.  I'm over the BBQ thing and I'm not feeling a melancholy sense of dread like I usually do at this time. I'm actually looking forward to fall. I've got some great things coming my way.


 Highlights:

• I'm going up to Maine to attend a birthday party for a dog. Yes, a birthday party for a dog, a great excuse to have a party. It should be a good time. 
• Frack got his braces off on Wednesday and damn! if my baby boy isn't drop dead handsome! I keep asking him to see his smile, and it's driving him crazy. Too bad, is my response. I paid for them, so I wanna see them. Kid's got a killer smile, and I keep telling him his face is so much brighter! That's the best adjective I can use to describe it. We told him to get a stick, cuz he's gonna be beating the chicks off with it when he goes back to school. He's also playing light's out golf right now. Kid's a stud.
• Frick is LOVING college and surprisingly, she calls pretty regularly. I'm so proud of her, she is fulfilling her dreams right now and becoming the person she will be for the rest of her life. I miss her like crazy, but I am so excited for her and happy that she is enjoying this wonderful time in her life. I wanna go to college. 

Peace to you and yours for a safe and happy Labor Day. 

Throwing In The Towel

Ok, so here's something I bet you never really thought about. I know I never did until it was time...

The Back Story:
I moved into the house I currently live in about 11 years ago. When you move into a new house, the operative word being NEW, you buy  lots of NEW things for the NEW house. NEW towels for my bathroom being one of them. Flash forward ten years later: said NEW towels are no longer NEW, in fact they are looking pretty tired and OLD. Throughout the years they became less soft, stained with bleach stains, and here's the straw that broke the camel's back, they shrunk. I know they shrunk because you see that decorative band on the towels pictured above? It is now shrunken tight so that my towels look like they have ruffles on either ends. Accordion pleats on bathroom towels?  Not good, or good looking. It was then that I knew it was time.

I guess 10 years is a pretty good life span for a towel, but they were becoming an embarrassment, to me especially. So what to do and where to buy? Should I go to an off price store like TJMaxx, be a Maxxionista and buy a cheaper brand? Or should I go to a fine department store and invest in a better quality cotton that supposedly will last a lifetime.

Guess what I did?

Invest being the operative word here, because we got suckered into the "better" brand. Good news is, I LOVE my new towels. They are plush and gorgeous and they all match and when I reach for a new towel  form the neatly folded pile in my linen closet, it makes me smile. We got matching hand towels and face cloths (does anybody really use these any more?) and I'm ready to start enjoying them for the next twenty years. Bad news is they cost around $500.00.

Are we crazy or smart? I'll let you know in ten years.

While I pondered the question in my head, what came to mind immediately was this:with all the problems in the world; starvation, global economics, devastation and plague, am I really wasting my energy worrying about my bathroom towels and how much I paid for them and how long they will last.? I'd be better served to just shut the old pie hole.

I'm going to thank God for making my life simple. On this topic, I'm throwing in the proverbial towel.

Little Larry

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ...

Today's Special: Sheer Madness

So Katy Perry was spotted in this get-up recently and it got me to thinking...did she wear that because she thinks it's cute? Or did she wear that because she's Katy Perry and she's a big pop star and she thinks it's edgy and she can pull it off? Either way, it's not a good look for her. Edgy or not, its unflattering. Her boobs are too big and the Granny panties make her look fat, and we all know she is NOT fat.

The Daily Dandy says: FASHION FELONY.

Giiiirrrl......A few months after giving birth to baby girl Blue Ivy, Beyonce steps out in this sheer showstopper at the Met Gala Ball in NYC. While this Givenchy Haute Couture gown by Riccardo Tisci is not for the meek or the mild, Beyonce chooses the perfect venue to showcase this sheer creation. Where else but the Met Gala and who else but Beyonce? She is sheer perfection and what better way to show off her baby weight loss.

The Daily Dandy says: FASHION AT ITS FINEST.

I don't care what anyone says about this one; if I'm Sophia Vergara and I have an ass like that? I'm wearing sheer leggings too! Period. Amen. Even I think that's sexy and I like guys....Also, she gets mad style points because I'm lusting after the GORGEOUS Chanel bag she's carrying.

The Daily Dandy says: FASHION FORWARD.

Let me just preface this by saying, I love Fergie. I love everything she does and I think she is exquisite. The Fashion Police and the fashion bloggers lambasted Fergie for this dress but I. Loved. It!! She took my breath away. Let's start with the fact that it's a Haute Couture Jean Paul Gaultier, and I just love the black undergarments. Fashion insiders commented that the Granny panties should have been bikini, but I disagree. As illustrated above with Katy Perry, not everyone can pull off Granny panties and in this case, Fergie's Grannies looks classy and edgy.

The Daily Dandy says: FASHION ROYALTY.

Gaga just doesn't care...which is evident by her hand gestures in this photo taken at LAX on July 9, 2012. Well, ok, I support your right to wear whatever you choose, but walking around the airport in your underwear is just not wise. It invites a different sort of element, wouldn't you say?

And FYI, this is the back side of that outfit.

The Daily Dandy says: FASHION FREAK.

The words that come to mind are, what an ass....

So This Is Really It.

This is it.

Her time has come. It's time to leave the big nest and fly. Fly she will, of that I have no doubt. It's me I'm worried about. How am I ever going to get through this? I'm gonna miss her so much it already hurts like crazy. What will I do without my baby girl?

Truth is, I'll be fine. I did the exact same thing that she is doing this weekend 28 years ago and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Part of me is jumping up and down for her in excitement, and part of me is dying inside. She's going to be great. She's going to thrive. She's going to fall in love with her city. HER city, because that's what it is now. And I've never been more confident that she's going to be EXACTLY where she belongs.

The pride is swelling up in my throat, right next to the lump that is omni-present these last days. I know I have to let her fly free. But part of her is holding back too, and I wonder if she's picking up on what I'm feeling. Part of her is scared and part of her does not want to go. But we both know that this is good for all of us. This is what growing up is all about. This is what all that hard work was for. One look at her and I know I've done good. She's awesome, and I couldn't be more proud of who she has become. Keep her safe New York city. She's my whole world.

So, I'm embarking on this journey with her today and because I'm a helicopter hover-er, I'm staying  in the city until Monday. I will not be returning to the bloggersphere until Tuesday, August 28, 2012.

She's going to be great.
I'm going to be a mess.

I'm going to try to play it cool in front of her because this isn't about me.
God grant me the strength to get through.

"Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves."-Ernest Dimnet

Harry's Willy

Ok, so really?

Big fricken whoop. Harry got caught showing his willy in Vegas while on what was reported to be a drunken escapade. Again, big fricken whoop.

Yes, he's third in line to the throne. Yes, he's a British Royal. Yes, he's got a certain image to protect, but at 27 he's a young guy who made a slight error in judgement. Not unlike most single, young guys his age.

Where's the scandal? Looks to me like he was having a good time and feeling comfortable in his own skin. At least he was covering "the crown jewels". If he were a married man, yup, huge scandal. If he were on a mission to the US, to speak about sexual abstinence, yes, a disgraceful turn of events. But the Prince never claimed to be a choir boy and no he isn't any of those things.

His crime? He got caught with his pants down by a cell phone and he just happens to be Queen Elizabeth's grandson. My question is where was Palace security inside that Las Vegas hotel room?

I guess when you are the late Princess Diana's son, the most beloved Royal to date, and your public persona is far more important than the charity work that you do and good that your celebrity brings to a cause, it's not ok to get your freak on naked with some skank in a hotel room.

Really?

Yeah, cuz when you're Prince Harry what happens in Vegas stays on your resume forever.

She Hates Everybody

I'm a Joan Ranger.

I love Joan Rivers. Yes, I know, she's crass, mean, insulting and mostly inappropriate, but she's hilarious and she always leaves me laughing.

She is currently starring in two shows; one reality show on WE TV called "Joan and Melissa" and "Fashion Police" on E.

On "Fashion Police", she is incredibly funny yet politically incorrect in her impeccably timed Joan Rivers way. She commands the floor with her panel of fashion "experts", but make no mistake, Joan is the show. It's well worth the watch.

I became a fan a couple of years ago when I came across the documentary "Joan Rivers. Piece of Work." It released in Jan 2010 and was filmed during one year of Joan Rivers life when she was 75 years old. It followed her through her crazy, schedule of appearances and performances.

This lady works. I gained an incredible appreciation for her work ethic. She was non-stop. Joan makes no bones about the fact that she has to work to support her opulent lifestyle, yet she admits to needing the work to boost her self esteem.

Notorious for her abuse of plastic surgery, Joan admits quite openly to being very insecure. She does it all too. At the time of filming, Joan was still working every day, attending several personal appearances, doing comedy shows and regularly traveling across country. A schedule that would have made even a younger person, question why. Yet Joan seemed to revel in it, and she hardly complained.

This lady is no dumb blonde, either. Fresh off her "Celebrity Apprentice" win in 2009, "Piece of Work" showed Rivers the business woman for the shrewd artisan she is. Her jewelry line is one of QVC's most successful sellers to date and that is just one of the many projects that Joan is attached to.

I hope to God that when I am her age, I have half the stamina that she has. And that's not something you can buy from a plastic surgeon. You gotta have hutzpah! Forbes has estimated Rivers net worth at $290 million, and that's a hell of a lot of hutzpah.

Say what you will about her.
She's probably already heard it and incorporated it into her act and made it ten times funnier.