Monday, October 24, 2011

The Blonde Wife

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."


Anonymous said...

That brought a tear to my eye. And now everyone's staring at me because I'm laughing, first at the joke, and second because I forgot the punchline and that was awesome.

Also finding it apropos that my word verification has the word "bed" in it.

SkylersDad said...

Oh that was great! Almost as great as the picture...

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Same thing happend to my buddy Clayford T. Boostier. He e mailed Heff and said, "Big Toot got a buck." Heff assumed he got a dollar for a big fart but his uncle is nicknamed Tooter and he had killed a buck during deer season.

Heff said...

Yep. "Big Toot got a BUCK !"

Jim said...

LOL . . . excellent :-)

I don't think she was "blonde" . . . just dutifully doing as she was told.

Long weekend without your Tommy . . . any Hot Stove insider news you can pass along about the Sox front office? They don't seem to be returning my calls . . . :-)


Anonymous said...

Phhhhffffft!! Hey, she DID give him what her husband said to!

And YES! Let's get together for coffee/cocktails when you're in NYC Nov 4-6.

Scope said...

Beats the hell out of a crumb cake.

MarkD60 said...

That was fantastic!

Furtheron said...

ROFL!!! Excellent

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