Wednesday, June 24, 2009

What's Real?

These are The Real Housewives of New Jersey from the show that airs on Bravo.

Are these ladies for real?

Who watches this show?

I have to admit to never watching one episode, until Sunday. Saturday night my brother was talking to my niece about the now infamous "table flip". I thought nothing of it, as I thought they sounded completely ridonk.

I was correct.

On Sunday, I happened to catch this table flipping episode and watched it out of complete curiosity. I couldn't believe the crap I was seeing. I will repeat, are these ladies for real?
While it was incredible enough to be witness to the staged drama of an episode entitled, "The Last Supper," what happened after was even more incredible. You really have to see this for yourself, as it falls under the "watching a train wreck" category.

It would seem that for an entire season, the tart in the short black dress, Danielle, 46, was the social pariah from the get go. Again, I only viewed one episode, but based on the press this show has gotten recently and the events in the "last supper" episode leading up to the table flip, Danielle was the outcast with a storied past. The story is in a book entitled, "Cop Without A Badge". The book was written by Danielle's ex husband and alleges, amongst other things, that 25 years ago, she was known by another name, was a stripper with a criminal past, and was arrested for kidnapping, extortion and possession. From what I gather, the rest of the Housewives were tipped off about this book long ago and had a field day, dragging it all over the affluent New Jersey community in witch they live.

Do you smell a set-up? I find it hard to believe that the execs at Bravo did not DELIGHT in the ratings smorgasbord they had in front of them and they played it out to perfection, using the trashtastic Jersey cast as their pawns. From what I can gather thus far, the cast is made up of 5 women, three of whom are related. The matriarch, Caroline, the red head, and her baby sister Dina, the only blond, and Jaqueline, the long-haired beauty in the pink dress. Jaqueline is Caroline and Dina's sister-in-law and married to their brother. Danielle and Jaqueline are friends and I have no idea who the hell Teresa is, or how she fits into the show, beside the fact that she lives in the UGLIEST mini-mansion I have ever seen and drives a kick-ass silver Mazerati.

Back to the point. After the "table flip", in which Teresa, depicted as the "Mother Theresa" of the cast, completely wigs out and flips the table during Danielle's self-imposed confrontation with the cast over the book at a filmed dinner with their children present, they all decide to retire to the restaurant's bar area and have champagne, TOGETHER. I couldn't believe it. After what had just gone on in the dining room, they all stayed and retreated to the bar for some cozy champagne celebrating for the cameras.

They was plenty to celebrate. They had just successfully pulled off the greatest Housewives finale in history and they knew it. How much of this crap is Real? I believe that the hatred that these despicable human beings showed towards one another is genuine, but that's about all I believe. I think Bravo lit the fire under these loud-mouthed, over entitled, disgraceful, over bearing women in the beginning of the season, then stirred the kettle to a boil quite nicely, right until the end of filming. They performed a service to the creators of the show and each party got what they wanted out of the deal. Bravo got ratings and the women got fame. These ladies have nothing on any of the other Housewives, and will rightly take their place on the Bravo "throne of disgrace".

The most interesting part of all this is that these women attempt to spew virtue, in their show testimonials, about family values and love, but really they are vile human beings who will profit greatly from behaving badly.

To that, I do not say BRAVO.


B.E. Earl said...

I used to love Bravo. They played The West Wing repeats, Inside the Actor's Studio and a bunch of really great independent films.

Then about 4 years ago they got infected with Reality TV-itis. The whole network blows chunks now.

I especially hate these Real Housewives fake drama bullshit. Go ahead, ask me how I REALLY feel about them!

Bill Stankus said...

Just one question (after looking at the photo)... are those real wives and who are they married to? I guess that's two questions.

BTW - Never heard of the show, then again, we don't have cable either.

Cora said...

Never seen it. Never will.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Yeah, I'm sure that the show wasn't thought of without the book in mind. Yep. That's just a coincidence.

Just like it was a coincidence that Arnie Lange showed up on the first episode of Joe Buck Live and his piece was "controversial".

Joanie M said...

The thing that gets me is, with the New Jersey, Wives, the Orange County wives, the NY Wives, at least half of them are no longer married and weren't when the shows were put together!

I've watched parts of episodes as I'm channel surfing when I go to bed.

They are all spoiled, self-centered narcissistic bitches!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I think the FCC or someone else (maybe Dick Clark) needs to put a moratorium on "reality" TV. It's gone too far. A, it's not reality, and B, it sucks. Until they come up with a version of Survivor where people are actually dying, I'm not interested.

Pop and Ice said...

I've only watched Top Chef and Project Runway "over my husband's shoulder" - i.e. while I'm busy on my PC - and even that makes me uncomfortable at times.

You've sold me - I'm not even going to check it out. Why reward bad TV with our time and presence?

SkylersDad said...

Reality TV is the bain of our society.

starbender said...

Well, I have never seen the show before, and after reading all this, Don't want to see it at all-ever!!!

Scope said...

No clue. If it's not on History Channel, odds are low I've seen it.

TishTash said...

I remember when Bravo used to play quality programming like that version of Cinderella that was a lot like King Lear and had Kathleen Turner in it. Now that's good watchin'.

Dental said...

I'll take my own reality over the New Jersey brand, thank you very much.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I watch very little television, I have no room in my life for made up drama (that includes most of my family, as well!).

John said...

I never bothered to watch the NJ edition, or the Atlanta (?) edition, and could only stomach one or two of the original OC edition. These bitches are SO superficial and SO braindead I simply can't understand what appeal they have to anyone for anything.