Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Boink Buddies

I heard a story from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another friend- and I know you get the drift here. Anyway, my friend told me about this friend of ours, (we used to work with her), a woman, who if I had to estimate, is somewhere in her 60's. Said woman is cute, short and tiny with a cute little figure, but if I'm telling the truth, she looks her age. Not that looking her age is a bad thing, just an important detail to the context of the story. As I stated, said woman had a nice figure, but has no surgically enhanced details, you know, like huge, fake boobs or has had any work done on her face. Nothing that would be considered super sexy. She is your average looking sixty year-old woman. She is a widow-lost her husband many years ago and lives alone, as her children have all grown and married and has two beautiful grandchildren.

My friend told me that said woman is banging a hot, forty year-old body builder, and has been regularly for about ten years. They meet once a week, strictly for sex and then go home at the completion of the sex act. There is no pre or post-coital dinner's, it's strictly business. The body builder has a serious girl friend who he lives with, but still manages to sneak in his weekly sexual trysts with this woman. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I try not to be judgemental but I think I was most shocked at the deviance of affair. I call it an affair because the guy is "seemingly" in a committed relationship. If I'm being completely honest here, I was also shocked by the fact that this woman is banging a "hot", young, piece of man. Shame on me because who the hell knows what attracts one human being to another.

The more I thought about the story, the more I began to realize that this woman just may be my new hero. As I said, we used to work with her and she never once told us about her boink buddy. She never bragged about her boink buddy. She never mentioned it, and there was plenty of opportunity for her to do so. The subject of sex came up frequently amongst the women, especially at the lunch table. And she could have-you wouldn't believe some of the stuff women will share when a group of ladies are talking about sex. I thought about her life and wondered if this was the ideal situation for her. She gets her needs met, no games, strictly regular business, and can go home to her life. I doubt that she has any delusions of romance with this guy, and if it is true that this has been going on for ten years, then it's possible that these two have worked out a perfect arrangement that suits them.

I still think the guy is a complete douchebag for cheating on his "girlfriend" and something tells me that the dude must get off on the fact that he's banging a older woman on the sly, but again, I'm not judging HER as one would assume that she is mature enough to know exactly what she is doing with this tool. To each his own, but somehow, I feel caught up in a complete double standard. I have a new found respect for this woman yet I feel complete disdain for the guy. How can this be?? I guess the only thing that is "wrong" with this picture is the fact that they are both cheating on an innocent party, but if I remove that emotion from the equation, I am left with the logic that being boink buddies seems to work just fine for them/her. Who am I to judge?

I guess I have to say good for her! I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to decipher this equation and deduce that there will be no romantic, story book ending here. No riding off into the sunset of love with her Prince of Boink, but is that what their boink buddy relationship was based on? It would seem to me that these two have figured out a mature, consenting arrangement that is beneficial to both parties, more like a business deal. There is no buddy-buddy involved here, it is strictly boinking as usual.


Candy's daily Dandy said...

Mad Texter, why can't I comment on your blog???

Where did your comment button go??

Dr Zibbs said...

One of the best moments in my life was in college when this hot chick asked if I wanted to have sex anytime with no strings attached.

Of course I said yes.

So we would call each other up befor class, late at night, whenever just to have sex - and usually smoke weed.

And she was great in bed.

The whole point was that she had just broken up with a dude and didn't want to be in a relationship which was fine with me because all I wanted to do was have sex with tons of women.

Long story short - it ended because after a few months she said she wanted to start "going out".


B.E. Earl said...

I had a fuck buddy once. Our "relationship" lasted for about 9 years, on and off.

We never cheated on anyone. When she was seeing someone or if I were seeing someone we would curtail our activities. But as soon as we were both single, it was bunny time.

We just both liked sex and we were bored. Nothing wrong with that.

Bill Stankus said...

I think Shakespeare had this covered:

"To boink or not to boink, that is the question."

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely boinkers. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many boinkees."

"A boink buddy! a boink buddy! my kingdom for a boink buddy!"

"Boink, boink, thou winter wind! Thou art not so unkind as man's ingratitude".

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou my boinking Romeo?"

"The miserable have no other medicine but only boinking".

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to boink him".

"Nothing will come of boinking."

SkylersDad said...

When I was in the Navy and stationed in San Diego, I had one of those relationships with a women who was 39. I was 21. She called the shots, I never called her, she just got hold of me when she needed sex. It lasted about 6 months, and was the absolute best sex and sexual education a guy could have.

Heff said...

I've always had to "commit" to get any, Damnit !

Anonymous said...

Candy, I'm back online. Had a little technical difficulty. Staff tried to union-ize. Now, they've been down-sized. HA!!!

wigsf said...

I frown upon FB relationships.

Slyde said...

OMG that chick is your friend?

I never knew that we knew the same people.

thanks for calling me a douchebag.

p.s. the person earl was talking about in his post was me.

Meghan said...

Wow, other than the fact that he has a gf, I say good for her for wanting to get her rocks off at 60 and finding a nice strapping piece of %$# to do it with!

Soda and Candy said...

I hope the girlfriend does know and is okay with it - stranger things have happened.

If not, then it is totally not okay, for either party involved. You don't go banging someone else's dude.

BeckEye said...

I don't condone cheating. This is why they make dildos.

Anonymous said...

Candy - It's not Heff that is "the one." ;)

Pop and Ice said...

Have you heard about the website where you can find someone to have a sexual relationship without having to do all the hard work of actually seeking them out in the real world? My husband sent me the article and I was stunned - but I guess I shouldn't have been. I'm sorry I don't have the details anymore but it's not like I want to spread that information around anyway.

I have to say I just feel confused on your ex co-worker's situation. I'm hesitant to make any sort of judgement not knowing the people in real life. Or their families. Maybe this is all they have to look forward to. And that would be sad.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Each to their own, she's no hurting anyone, but he's no playing fair with his other girl.

I will say she's fit for 60. Maybe I'll change my mind when I reach that age.

John said...

"...I guess the only thing that is "wrong" with this picture is the fact that they are both cheating on an innocent party..."

Yeah, but that's the thing. Easier for her than him perhaps (and perhaps not), as she is one person removed from the "cheatee" but she's still a party to it. Then again, maybe the "girlfriend" wouldn't mind. Perhaps she has a boink buddy too. Who knows. : )

Cora said...

Prince of Boink.


I'm hereby stealing that line from you! Hee hee hee....

Sassy Britches said...

I'm not sure I can comment without looking horrid, but I can totally see the benefit here (for both parties)! Albeit, I can also see the disadvantages (i.e., hellloooo cheating on the GF), but I'm somehow feeling okay with this today. Huh, go figure.

Although, clearly your blog is NOT okay with it, because my word ver is "lowsi." Enough said. :)

Scope said...

If this has been going on for 10 years:

A) If the girlfriend has been around for 10 years, she has to know or is in MASSIVE denial.

B) If the girlfriend came into the picture AFTER this relationship was established, you could argue that he is cheating on his Boink Buddy with his girlfriend.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I've always believed that when two people are having an "affair" and one is attached and the other isn't, the fault lies with the one who is actually "cheating". The other person COULD show some class and not be in the role of homewrecker, but it's ultimately on the head of the cheater.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how long he has been with the girlfriend. Maybe she does know. Maybe money is changing hands. We need more info Candy, get on it.

Wil Harrison.com

Anonymous said...

Yep, I think I've found my new role model! Here's to having a "boink buddy" at 60!! I can only hope