Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Im F*cked!

"No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks
School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely"
From Alice Cooper's , "School's out for the Summer "

Today's the day! Yahoo, my kids will say.
Sleeping late and being lazy.
Oh my goodness! Let's drive mom crazy.

Mom, I ain't reading. Mom, I ain't writing.
Mom, in this summer break, I am delighting.
Would you look away from my mess on the floor?
I'm on vacation, and could you please shut my door?

The freedom is limitless, the possibilities, no end.
Mom, can you spare a few 20's to spend?
A job, this summer? Surely, you jest.
For it's your money spending, that I do the best.

Drive me here, then pick me up too.
And make it snappy, cuz I got things to do.
Yes, mom I'll read and write this summer, on that you can rely.
Texting meets all those requirements, so I'll keep a steady supply.

Can I go to the beach?
I'm going to the mall.
We are just at Dana's house.
Do I really have to call?

Golf is life, so get me to the course on time.
Drop me off here, mom really, I'm fine.
I'll spend the day getting my game on track,
then I'll call you when I'm done...(Now get off my back).

Empty coke cans litter the once clean family room.
Dirty dishes in the sink and the cups, they are strewn.
Filthy socks on the floor, next to towels still wet.
Yes, mom I'll pick it up, but I haven't just yet.

The mall, some cash, eighteen holes and a cart.
The fleecing of mom and her guy, we've got down to an art.
Enjoying the freedom, just being a kid.
How can we blame them? It's just what we did.

I don't begrudge them the freedom. I'm glad they, from school, have a break.
I'm just kind of worried about how much of them I can take.
"I want to be lazy" they exlaimed, citing the hard work in school which they said really sucked.
So you can see, like I said, Holy s*it, now I'm f*ucked!


Heff said...

Time for some serious ass whippins, lol !

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Does the word "NO" work? Looks like you have your summer all filled up!!
Have fun!!!

Happy Tuesday!
- Jennifer

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

lol...that's exactly the same way I feel about summer vacation...

I just make a nice pitcher of yummy cocktails...and count down the days till the first day of school...

Scope said...

Sounds like "your wife" has two new interns...

Bill Stankus said...

Whips and chains are now old fashioned
Tasers and handcuffs are efficiently hip
So is summer camp on Mars, for "them"
Practice giving the stinky eye
And have some vodka and orange juice

Slyde said...

my son has been yelling all week: "this is my last week of school! yay!"

he's only 6!

SkylersDad said...

Your only choice is blowdarts with knockout drops on them.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

You have summarized every parent's true feelings and I only have one to deal with.

I've put in place a "leave mom alone hour" at the end of the day where both my son and husband must leave me alone. Some days it works, others not so much - it really depends on what's on t.v. or what shiny object they've discovered.

Cora said...

I like Sky Dad's idea. (That's bad coming from a nanny, huh? Whoops.)

Pop and Ice said...

My kids are still sleeping and I like it like that!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I applaud any poem that ends in the words "I'm f*cked". Awesome. *applauds*

BeckEye said...

Something tells me you'll be singing "No More Mr(s). Nice Guy" soon enough.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Nicely done! Now hang tough and don't be the "yes mom" or you truly WILL be f*cked.

Insults said...


Joanie M said...

Soooooo glad I'm past all that!

Elenka said...

yeah, but it's only temporary.
Ask me.
I'm a teacher.
Summer is short.
Very short.

Anonymous said...

Can we get some video of this alleged fucking?

Wil Harrison.com

Fancy Schmancy said...

Nice poem, I hear ya loud and clear!