Thursday, November 13, 2008

Blogger Profiling

In the process of reading multiple blogs daily, I have come across more that a few posts/comments containing this reoccurring theme of bloggers dreaming about each other. While I can't say that I have yet to share in this common phenomenon, I believe the reason behind this fact is that you are all very much alive in my every day conscious. Strange, to say the least, but true. Lately, I have been seeing things in my daily life that will remind me or lead me to think of certain bloggers. I guess you could say that I have been, " blogger profiling".

Like the other night, I see this commercial for the wireless phone network, Verizon. Have you seen this one?
This guy walks into his office holding a mug of his morning coffee. He is talking with his assistant, going over his daily schedule. She says to him, (this is NOT verbatim; I couldn't find it on youtube) "From 9 to 10 you send text messages to your wife. From 12 to 12:15 you send funny picks to your son Jimmy on the playground. From 1 to 2, you're texting with your friends...and at 4pm you have a budget meeting. The guy then looks at his assistant with a hesitant chagrin on his face and after a dramatic pause she says, "I can move the budget meeting to another day." To which the guy responds, "Yeah, good idea."

I immediately think to myself, "THAT is Zibbs."

Then I get this post card in the mail advertising Lancome's new battery powered mascara (no kidding really- it's a Saks Fifth Avenue exclusive) and I think, "I can't wait to tell Lids about this one."

Or lately(after his post), every time I see Seth Rogen on TV or the movies or read his name somewhere I immediately think of Poobomber. Isn't it ironic that as I read The Other Side of Normal daily, Seth Rogen's voice narrates the Poobomber's words in my head? Weird.

Oh yeah, and last Saturday I was buying a birthday card for my friend when I see this card with a sweet old lady sitting in a rocking chair on her front porch that says, "You're not the type to sit around getting old, letting the world pass you bye." You open it up and it says, "No, you're the type to shout out rude comments and make obscene gestures." I thought," This is for Gwen and if I knew her better, I would send this to her on her birthday."

Very strange, I know. So how is it that I have these preconcieved notions about who a blogger is when there is a substantial lack of physical evidence or any eyewitness accounts to back up these ideas? The answer lies in your words. The words you share with us everyday. Like the best of psychological profiliers, unconsciously we take what is known about an unknown blogger and mentally develop a profile of who we think that blogger really is. But do we really know for sure?
Was Falwless really a mischevious little girl who smoked cigarettes out in the woods in her back yard while playing pirates with her friends? Does Tova Darling really have an affinity for fashionably dressed mannequins? Is The iNDefatigable mjenks really a chemist with a thing for Curious George? Does McGone spend his mornings sitting at The International House of Pancakes having breakfast with a pig? Does Slyde wear his leather biker jacket and dark shades when he attends PTA meetings at his son's school. Does Earl really have BUG EYES?
The blogger world may never know, but I for one, will continue reading and unconsciously blogger profiling.


Poobomber said...

Haha, this is an awesome post! I never really thought about it until now. I'll have to write a post about what I perceive bloggers to be like or what comes to my head when I think about them.

I think the same about McGone and Mjenks though, haha!

I probably am a lot like Seth Rogan, but my voice is subtle and sloppy compared to his. So pretend you're reading my blog and a dopey person from Kansas is speaking instead. (Americans think my accent is from Kansas or Iowa, I'm told.)

Tova Darling said...

YES! I totally DO have an affinity for fashionably dressed mannequins!!

Ok, maybe not, but I do have a major sunglasses obsession. It's starting to become a problem. I've been known to buy two or three pairs of the same sunglasses in different colors. So, my blog photo actually does tell you something about me! Namely that I'm really jealous of that mannequin's sunglasses.

You're really funny, by the way. :)

LegalMist said...

You should make this into a meme -- write a post about what you think 3 bloggers look like and/or their personality quirks... then tag those bloggers to do the same with 3 different bloggers...

LYDIA said...

Oh Candy.
Well you came and you gave without takin'
But I sent you away, Oh Candy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shakin'...

Whoa! That last part didn't happen.

I have read about this Oscillation Mascara - have you tried it?

This was a funny post, maybe you should turn it into a meme.

BeckEye said...

I know that when I have my daily candy, I think of you. And there's rarely a day that goes by that I don't have candy.

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde usually wears a raincoat and nothing else when he attends PTA meetings.

And my eyes are far from bugged. They are, however, dead sexy. It's just my avatar who has the bug-eyes.

Sass said...

Good post!

It is fascinating to think about these things...I think if we were all ever in a room'd just be silence. lol.

Yeah...not so much. ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

I honestly see that commercial and think the same thing. Swear to God. And I realize I'm spending way too much time commenting on blogs.

Scope said...

Provocative question:

Candy-O: In my view you're my friend Jeannine (South Side Irish) mixed with Carmindy from WNTW. But without the uber soft focus that she gets.

Gwen: I met Gwen a good 15 minutes BEFORE I read her blog for the first time. Plus, well I've met the blood line before. So I don't really have to stretch my imagination too much.

Poobomber: I hear the "oouts" and "zeds" of my kinfolk who live in fabulous places like Weyburn, Sask, and Ridgeville Man, chowing down on a platter of poutine.

Plus, as a stalker, I already know what ya'll look and sound like.

Gwen said...

Great post! That's exactly who I want to be when I'm old and people have to be nice to me no matter what.

Poobomber said...

Scope: Hey, that's where I'm kinda from!

Scope said...

Poo - I picture you more as a hip and trendy Albertan as opposed to someone with their head shoved up their Regina.

Poobomber said...

Hahaha, Regina was the nearest 'city' to where I grew up. But I lived in Alberta most of my adult life, now I live in Manitoba. So, y'know, I'm like all over the map.

McGone said...

I do try to have breakfast with my pig, Fernando, whenever he is in town and not on one of his ambassador missions. He reads the front section of the paper while I read the sports and entertainment sections. We don't talk much. And he never orders bacon.

I save time and imagine bloggers together... like when I see Falwless peeking in through Jon's window at Extraneous Kickassery headquarters.

And I picture Zibbs wired into a bank of computers, literally a half-man half-machine blog monstrosity.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

No, the iNDefatigable mjenks is a chemist with a writing hobby, which is why he chose a monkey for his avatar (since enough monkeys with enough typewriters will eventually deliver the combined works of Shakespeare).

In essence, it's one monkey sitting at a word processor trying to fabricate the next Great American Novel.