Thursday, December 16, 2010

Everybody Needs A Thneed



So there's a little debate going on here in my neighborhood. One of the neighbors has decided to take on a huge project at his home. He has cleared about a million trees from the front of his house, which has revealed the beautiful facade of said house and a beautiful piece of property. This house is enormous, with what seems like hundreds of windows. It's one of those homes that through the years has been added on to, and then added onto, and then added onto again. This neighbor bought the house about 3 years ago and he got it for a song.


I look out onto this house and I have to say, I think the clearing of the trees looks amazing. For one, it's a beautiful home. But now the property is not tree-covered and I have seen some of the most amazing pink sunsets behind that house. I look forward to seeing many more, especially now that I will be able to view them, unobstructed. So I meet one of my other neighbors at a party a few weeks ago, and I say, "Hey, doesn't 'said house' look amazing?" The reply was, "I'm not a fan, nor am I a tree killer."


Immediately my curiosity was peaked. I continued the conversation and found that there was no real reason for this neighbor to not like the result of the tree clearing, except for the fact that innocent trees were killed and that said house was now much more of a presence on the street. Herein lies the problem, I opined, they are JEALOUS. I could not come up with any other reasonable explanation. Funny, I thought, there still is that "mine is better than yours" sophomoric mentality going on.


I continued to poll the neighbors. My mom, who is one of the neighbors, agreed with me, and after her I found almost no one who could agree. While they all agree that it looks good, each one thought the neighbor was a little over zealous in his tree clearing. I soon dismissed the entire thing and chalked it up to good old-fashioned jealousy and went on about my life. Then, somewhere in the weeks that followed, The Once-ler, from Dr. Seuss' The Lorax, moved into 'said house'. The killing of innocent trees hasn't stopped and continues as I write this; this very minute. The humming of the chain saw can be heard throughout the neighborhood as early as 7am and the drumming of the large back hoe, pulling up tree stumps, accompanies just about most days, lately.


The Once-ler has moved on to the woods beside his property and even I have to say, he's out of control. His property looked great, but now he is clearing the woods with a vengance and I can't quite figure out why. Is he going to build another home there? Is he trying to make his yard bigger? And what about the clearing of the woods? It made me wonder. What about the Barbaloot bears in their Barbaloot suits, who live off the Truffula trees Truffula fruits? And where is the Lorax who speaks for the trees? For not every one is in need of a thneed.


This is what it has become on my street, a children's tale. But fear not, because Karma can be quite a fickle bit*h. As I was leaving for work the other day, I noticed a strange car in my driveway. As I looked out to investigate, I noticed a woman walking on the street holding a camera, snapping pics of The Once-ler's home. She snapped a few pics and hurriedly got back into her car and drove away. I have no idea who that woman was, but something tells me The Lorax was not too far behind her.


14 comments:

wigsf3 said...

If the owner was going to knock down the house, it would make sense to knock down the house before clearing the trees.

It could be that the owner wants to build other structures on the property. A second house maybe. A garage with a loft. Maybe, the owner heats the house with firewood not gas or electric fuel. And let's be honest, it's getting cold outside.

SkylersDad said...

There is thinning of trees, and then there is deforestation. Lets hope that there is a bit of a balance struck.

The Dental Maven said...

Being the skunk-at-the-picnic that I am, I will say this: he owns the property so it's his to do with as he likes.

sorry :(

B.E. Earl said...

I generally like trees better than people, so I'm on the trees' side here. Screw that guy.

Scope said...

Not sure why the guy went all "Mr. T." on the trees (REF), but if he is hitting the woods, even if they are his, he may need some permits.

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the walking man said...

can we say his ax has brought about a rise in his property tax?

sybil law said...

I would think that the woods beyond his property is not his place to be cutting down trees!