Remember I told you a while back that everybody tells me I look like Mariah Carey? Well my moms must have some super power genes, because another one of her spawn has a celebrity look alike. The man underneath Robert Downey Jr. is my brother. Almost every time I watch a Robert Downey Jr. movie, I feel like I'm looking at my brother on the big screen. Seriously, they have the same mannerisms and everything.
In honor of today being the opening of Iron Man 2, I thought I'd do a Top Ten List on Why My Brother Is Better Than Iron Man.
10. Everybody knows that Iron Man and My Brother both enjoy a few drinks every now and then. Iron Man let drinking almost ruin his life. My Brother, on the other hand, has perfected a good drunk, turning it into a fine art, there by enhancing his social status.
9. Iron Man went to MIT and was always fascinated with building and controlling machines. He built complicated weaponry for his country. My brother went to State College and can recall any New England Patriot statistic from any year or any Boston Red Sox stat. The man is a walking sports encyclopedia and is in the wrong profession. He should be saving the world from boring play by play commentators. Fox Sports has no idea what they are missing.
He also raised me on home grown sports.
8. Does Iron Man have a 6 handicap?? I don't think so.
7. Funny dosen't begin to cover it.
Iron Man can go and save the world, defeat villians like Nitro and Scarlet Witch, but My Brother kills everybody with his comedy. When he is in attendance at a social event, buckle your seat belt because he almost always puts on a great stand-up show. Many of us have been known to go home with a headache and sore cheeks from laughing too much. No lie.
6. Iron Man is the head of Stark Industries, a company he inherited from his deceased father. Stark is a genius; however, he is also a playboy. Iron Man is the figurehead for his company while his father’s old partner takes care of day-to-day operations. My Brother is partners with our older brother in a super successful company that bears their name. While our older brother handles day-to day operations, My Brother handles his "real" job out on the 18 holes of his country club, day-to day.
5. Did I mention that My Brother has a 6 handicap?
4. Iron Man had no siblings, but I'm sure that Tony Stark treated his colleagues, friends and relatives with respect. My Brother treated me with the uttmost respect when we were little. Especially when he told me that we were going to play a game together. He always let me be the super star. I remember one game where he told me that I was "OJ Simpson, The Juice" and the object was to try to run past the defensive line (him). After the punishing hits I absorbed, he wiped away my tears ever so gently with, "Don't tell mom, ok?"
3. Without his suit, Iron Man has no special powers. When he puts on a suit of armor his superpowers give him the super strength to fight villians. My Brother puts on a suit and it gives him super chick magnet powers. He needs super powers to fight them off. Even without a suit, women, children, dogs, cats; they all love him. It's a curse.
2. Tony Stark decided to announce to the world, at a press conference that he is Iron Man. My Brother needs no press conference, media or anything else to announce to his two children that he is a super hero.
And the Number One reason why My Brother is better than Iron Man?
1. Because I said so.
Anyone who can party like Robert Downey Jr., look like Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, Charlie Chaplin and a movie star while doing it, is an Iron Man in his own right.