Thursday, February 4, 2010

It's A Fricken Racket

Not to bore you with the details of my pending nuptials or anything but I feel a rant coming on.

SO, we set the date, which is a great thing, (late Aug 2010) and found the venue. So far so good. We even found a historic, gorgeous, amazing, non-denominational chapel to have the ceremony in, which is located in the heart of Boston, on the first block of beautiful Newbury Street, a stone's throw from where the reception will be. I, being a divorced, scarlet woman in the eyes of the church, cannot get married in the church, so this is the closest thing I can get to a sacrament for the mere price of $2500.00. It's important to me, so we compromise.

Then we hired a wedding planner. More $$$.

This being my second time at the Rodeo but My Guy's first, coupled with the fact that we are both over 40, we want to have a beautiful party, but nothing over the top. I will wear a simple but stunning gown, and we are looking forward to sharing the day with 100 or so family and friends. Both of us are 1 of 5 children, so believe me when I tell you the guest list is almost all family.

Because we decided to hire a planner and have the reception in a historic Boston hotel, we are now being shown options that are in fact, ridiculous, even by my standards. The shit that is being presented to me as necessary budget items is astounding to me...and we can pretty much afford to do things the way we want to. The problem is, that when I see these things, I can't help but have a Pavlovian response to their beauty. Hence, the racket.

Things you wouldn't believe the "experts" say you must have:
  • expensive linens-patterned fabric napkins, napkin rings, and flatware because the hotel linens aren't good enough?
  • chairs-the hotel chairs aren't good enough?
  • lighting throughout the entire room, centerpieces etc. to create an atmosphere-I have to say lighting does make a difference, but for 6 to 8 grand???
  • extra furniture- couches, cocktail tables, to create a lounge-y atmosphere so that guest can relax-because again, the hotel chairs aren't good enough.
  • Flowers, flowers. flowers-because you don't want the place to look bare
  • bathroom baskets and custom baskets for your overnight guests-a nice idea, but really, do I have to? I think those bathroom baskets are CHEEZY!!
  • Wedding favors- really? Cmon, I'm not 21 any more.
  • the right band-"ummm, yeah, those guys aren't good if they are available." huh? every body's getting a cut of the cake on the "it" bands, and the band is kind of important, so we are at their mercy. It's been kinda ugly watching everyone hash it out.

So you can see where I am going with all of this, but don't worry. Mama didn't raise no fool. And I'm not marrying a fool either. We are blessed enough to have the opportunity to be able to do it this way, but we will not let this get out of hand.

For me, it is more about the marriage than the wedding and I have no doubts that it will be a memorable, beautiful event without getting fleeced all the way to the altar.


RW said...

Good luck with all that. I think I've convinced our youngest daughter to elope. Saves on the wear and tear.

the walking man said...

uhhh VFW hall with high end liquor and a cheap cake from the grocery store with jeans and T shirts as mandatory dress code would accomplish the same thing Candace. Might not be as posh but the guests would 'preciate the simplicity. and then you'd have enough money left over to hire the Rolling Stones.

Scott Oglesby said...

Congratulations on setting the date, I’m very happy for you! While you want it to be as exquisite in every detail as possible, remember that all of the minutia (napkin rings, wedding favors, etc) are not even going to be remembered by you guys or your guests. All anyone is going to remember is the beautiful, happy couple celebrating their love.

It’s ok to say no to the planner!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

YOU MUST AND I MEAN MUST, post photos of the dress and the entire affair.

i believe you will be drop dead gorgeous!!



wigsf said...

Weddings are a gigantic behemoth of an industry set forth unto this planet for the sole purpose of destroying everything in it's path.

I've never been married, never even been close... to a woman. hehehe
But I am a strong advocate for the eloping. If the marriage is what is truly important, get it out of the way now and do it both quickly and on the cheap. The wedding is just one day, the marriage, well, it's supposed to be forever.

Jim said...

What, you picked a weekend that the Sox are home, so you can't use the field?!?

Candy, Candy, Candy . . . I thought we'd agreed that taking your vows this time around from home plate at Fenway, while the Right Rev. Big Papi officiates . . . and a soft summer breeze ruffles those World Series flags over the Green Monstah . . . the Prudential building glistening over the right field stands . . . Yaz's #8 sign draped for the occasion . . . the Citgo sign (a national historic landmark, don't forget) blinking out you and your new beloved's initials in Morse code . . . was the way to go.

Besides, there's already plenty of seating, and Theo says you can have the reception in the dugout.


Anonymous said...

wow... its a good thing I dont go there... to much stress....

Realliveman said...

Wishing you a wonderful wedding!

SkylersDad said...

Will Tom Brady be walking you down the aisle?

Anonymous said...

It IS a racket. Just like Valentine's Day. Party planners (and that's what a wedding is - a party) always make you feel like you have to have ALL the extra details to ensure a fab party, when in actuality the guests don't even notice the extras. Planners will always try to appeal to your ego, and make you think that your guests will think less of you if you don't make everything over the top.

I say keep it simple. Your guests will REMEMBER that! The focus should be on you and your hubby, not 'the stuff'.

Joker_SATX said...

Weddings and Funerals seem to be the industries that get you by the short and curly's the most.

Good luck with all of this...and remember that its OK to just say no...

Dr Zibbs said...


The Dental Maven said...

No one, and I mean NO ONE will remember the table linens and flatware at your wedding, or anyone elses wedding for that matter.

Good Grief.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Good food, good music and good people...that's all that makes it memorable!!

The best to you...and next time, I'm eloping! LOL

Cora said...



I spend ohhhhhhh about 75% of the day yesterday in tears over wedding things combined with moving and combined with a problem(s) with my ex.

Eloping had never looked as good as it did yesterday, I swear.

Today I'm feeling much better. Of course, today was also the day I went wedding cake taste testing. Go figure.


Meghan said...

I know it's a cliche saying, but think it fits here, "Its YOUR day." Have fun with it and try not to stress too much. I'm sure it'll be lovely.

Scope said...

Follow behind Cora, nodding and agreeing. A position I will become acustome to.

While maybe not exactly in your financial position, we can afford more than we are willing to spend on our wedding. Our philosophy so far has been, "Is it necessary?" Everything is going to nice, but we aren't going into hock over flowers or chair covers. Put that money toward a good photographer. Pictures last longer than slightly nicer chairs than the already nice chairs we are getting.

Just remember... It's your party. Enjoy it.

TROLL Y2K said...

Congratulations! I thought you were already married.