Top Ten Reasons Why I Need A Fricken Vacation

I'm just about ready to blow my vacation load and I've got one week left till I get the hell outta Dodge and hit vacation nirvana. Here's why:

10. SNOW. Snow, then more snow and if that wasn't enough here's a little more snow. And by now, it's not even pretty. It's fricken black and yellow and dirty, icy and dangerous. The snow banks are so high you literally take your life into your own hands by getting into your car. The street I live on is too narrow (because of the snow) for two cars to pass. If you get caught with another car, one has to find the nearest driveway to pull into.

9. It's February. Besides being the shortest month of the year, (thank God) February has got to be the WORST month of the year. We are still on that "most wonderful time of the year" hangover and stuck in the middle of "nothing to look forward to". February's only redeeming quality: GREAT SALES, on winter clothes and shoes, but I can live with that.

8. White skin. Yeah, my milky white legs and arms just aren't doing my psyche any good at all. And I've been working out like a highly trained athlete. Still, it's not attractive. Even a gradual self-tanner (which I highly recommend for this time of year) isn't doing the trick. I need good old vitamin D to pump things up a bit.

7. Burn out. Try as I might, that same old, same old is getting just plain old. The comfort of my everyday routine just isn't the same when it's frigid outside. Although a glass of wine always seems to help.

6. My Dogs. Now, you all know I love my dogs, God bless em', but lately THEY SUCK! Too much snow and bitter cold makes them think that it's OK to piss and shit INSIDE the house instead of outside the house like they are supposed to. Then, they look at me all innocent, like I'm the bad guy.

5. I haven't had one since my honeymoon. September 2010. Need I say more?

4. Did I mention burn out? What is it about this time of year that signals the crash and burn mode? No wonder they call it Spring fever, cuz right now I'm suffering from the Winter flu.

3. Every thing seems better when you are on vacation. The grass is greener, the food tastes better and everything looks better when you step outside your surroundings for a few days and take on another perspective. Even things that annoy the crap out of you don't seem so bad when you are away on vacation.

2. Everything seems better when you come home from vacation. Global crisis is much easier to handle after you've spent two weeks in the Caribbean soaking in the sun. Taking it on the chin from your boss just seems tolerable after you've toured the South of France for a week. Don't you agree?

And the number one reason Why I Need A Fricken Vacation?

1. Cuz I can. Don't be a hater...

Fat Bottomed Girls Got Game

Forget all about today's play-by-play recap of last night's episode of Glee, (which I LOVED) I wanna talk about Fat Bottomed Girls and more important, Lauren Zizes.

Where did this superstar come from?? Lauren Zizes, is a member of the wrestling team at McKinnley high and President of the AV club when Puck offers her "seven minutes of heaven" in the closet if she will join the glee club. Tonite we got to see that super confident in who you are makes you more desirable and that Fat Bottomed Girls got game. She rocked Puck's world in the closet, when she found out that Puck is all talk, there bye putting her in the driver's seat in this cat and mouse game. Now Puck wants more and she's making him beg. And loving every minute of it.

Complete with electric guitar, Puckerman tries to woo his new woman with a rousting rendition of, "Fat Bottomed Girls". Although Lauren looks to be touched by Puck's expression of love songs, she lets him know that song selection is key and that song made her "feel like crap". She then proceeds to torture Puck for the entire episode, standing him up and making him beg for more. My favorite line of the night, "I'm not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct, because I spell woman ZIZES. And I need to be wooed," She's my new hero. A great example of what can be when you believe in who you are. AND that it took a ring pop for her Puckerman to finally win her over. These two are going to be good fun.

Quinn and Finn decide to see if the spark they had been feeling in Sunday's episode could be a flame, but they disappointingly turn into cheaters. Quinn is cheating on Sam and they both know it. Or shall I say they all know it? Because Santana figures it out and drops some lethal mono she picked up in the nurses office from a sick kid. Santana is apparently immune to the sickness as she said, "I've had mono so may times it's turned into stereo" and she kisses Finn in his kissing booth, as to effectively spread the germs and prove her theory about him and Quinn.

Then there's Rachel. Rachel pays for a kiss from Finn at the kissing booth, but gets one on the cheek instead. Finn then gives her a gift he bought her for Christmas, a star necklace, and lovingly tells her to follow her dreams, without a man. He tells her she needs to shine like the star that she is. Rachel later asks a delirious with mono Finn if he felt anything when he kissed Quinn. "Fireworks", was his reply, and we get a great cover by Rachel of Katy Perry's "Firework". Who couldn't see that one coming? Predictable but great, nonetheless.

As for Kurt and The Warblers, I have to give my Download of the Week honors to "Silly Love Songs", by Blaine and The Warblers. Crisp and bright, this cover of the Wings classic played out to the evening's close at Breadsticks where the Glee clubbers, minus Quinn and Finn, were in attendance. A perfect ending to this great Valentines episode. And If you didn't see it coming, Santana and Sam catch a knowing glance at each other, which can only signal trouble.

Fat Bottomed Girl or not, last night's episode got game.

Xtina's Big Screw Up

So this is it, the Super gaffe that everyone is talking about.

Really? This is what everyone is talking about?

Yes, she sang the wrong words. Yes, she screwed up our National Anthem on what would be considered the biggest stage in the world, on one of our favorite national pastime's big day. OK, so she screwed up our Anthem by singing the wrong verse, but it's not as bad as I thought it was, considering all the negative press she's been getting for it.

I missed this live, you see, because I was hosting a small party. While I was mixing drinks for my guests, making sure the cocktail napkins were lined up and the ice in every one's drink was tinkling, Xtina was singing the National Anthem on the big screen at my house. Christina Aguilera sang for the masses and no one said a word about her mistake.

Not one of my guests. Not one of the kids. No one claimed it ruined their evening nor hindered the enjoyment of the game. I didn't even hear about it until the next day, when it was all over the Internet. The way she was lambasted in the press for her performance, I figured she really screwed up, embarrassed herself and made a spectacle of our Nation's anthem. Then I saw it.

You judge for yourself, but I'm not judging her. What is this? American Idol?
She sang the wrong words....but she sang on like the professional that she is. If I wasn't paying attention, I may have never known, really. She kept right on going and finished strong. And now Joan Rivers finds it ok to lambaste her for her weight, because she sang the wrong verse??

What has this world come to?? We know that personally, Christina is going through a rough divorce and has been reportedly distraught. She may even be making some questionable choices by imbibimg a bit too much and gaining some weight. And she made an error singing the most sacred of songs on the most sacred of days.

It's not like she flashed her nipple for the world to see.

She sang the wrong verse. Big. Fricken. Deal. Shit happens and it happened to Christina during an emotionally tough time in her life.It's not like she even made it known, and fumbled the words, and made awkward sounds and walked off the stage. I think that would be a big screw up. She made a mistake but she kept right on going. A minor blip and I think I can cut her some slack here.

What do you think bloggers?

A Thrilling GLee

The big news yesterday was not that the Packers won the Super Bowl. The big news was the return of Glee immediately following the big game.

If you stayed up late to watch it, congrats. After the onslaught of all those finger foods and Pizza pies, to then go back to McKinnley with the Glee club was certainly a victory in my book.

Sue Sylvester, bored and ready for some action, sits viewing the Cheerios latest routine for competition. After the "biggest and most elaborate" Cheerio spectacle, complete with blue wigs, bicycle stunts, and sparkler coned boobs, and Katy Perry's California Gurls, Sue is bored and needs more oomph. She decides that Brittney needs to be shot out of a cannon so that Sue can find her excitement for competition again. She gives the Cheerios an ultimatum; Glee or Cheerios, but not both. Principal Figgins tells Sue no way on the cannon stunt, and Sue goes ballistic, tossing papers and throwing things all over the office...And she gets away with it. She is Sue Sylvester, after all.

After Artie is showered with the biggest slushy bath in Glee history, Shue and Bieste, combine forces to bring the football team together as one, and Bieste makes the football team join Glee club. The team, on the verge of winning their first championship concedes and when Sue announces that she bullied the Ohio Cheerleading board into changing the night of the cheerleading competition to the same night of the championship game. This poses a problem for McKinnley because this means no cheerleaders and no cheerleaders means no half time show.

(which somehow becomes more important than the game)

Shue makes it all better by coming up with a solution: the players will play in the game AND perform in full on make-up at the half time show. AND this is a plausible solution because they are going to perform a mash up of Michael Jackson's, "Thriller" and Yeah Yeah Yeah's, "Heads will Roll". And some how in the craziest of Glee alternate universes, this works! The football team, especially Karofsky (the biggest closeted bully on TV) seem to be enjoying their new status, until the hockey team showers the football team in slushie.

In the aftermath of the slushie bath, Karofsky and the rest of the team decide to walk out and quit the team, leaving the remaining five football/Glee clubbers to field a team. Really? Is their social status more important than a championship game? Apparently so. Left without a team, the girls of glee club come up with a solution. They decide to "suit up" and show up so that McKinnley can play in the game. Tina almost runs the ball in for at TD but gets banged up just short of the goal line and this sends Finn into a full out plan to get the whole team back together.

Thank goodness Sam can fill in at QB because, I'm getting the distinct feeling that this is all a bit much when Finn goes off the field to convince Quinn, Santana and Brittnay to quit the Cheerios and come back to the glee club, to which he does with ease. Good thing Brittnay didn't have time to think about the "baby cannons" and the mama cannon with fibro myalgia. They leave Sue and the Cheerios high and dry. Like Brittnay says, "that sucks for you." Puck takes to task getting the real members of the football team to come on board and perform in the halftime show and come back to the game. The thriller mash is good, but not as legendary as expected, after all that drama leading up to it.

You know what happens next. The football players come back, the halftime show goes on without a hitch and McKinnley wins the championship game. Karofsky even feels the music and joins the team on the field for the half time show and then onto the field for the rest of the game. Oh happy, joy. Finn makes the dramatic final touchdown, and is awarded game MVP, and you just know that Finn is everybody's MVP since he saved the day!

Sue is left with the biggest Loser of the Year award, and an interview with Katie Couric, which can only lead to no good. Karofsky show his complexities when Finn tells him in order to become a full fledge Glee clubber he has to make up with Kurt. Karofsky rejects the notion and returns to his old, bullying form. But in the most surprising twist......Quinn tells Finn how amazing he was over the past week, then she kisses him.....right on the lips.

Oh no, Tuesday night's episode is already promising to be a great one considering it's plot revolves around a kissing booth.

Stay tuned bloggers and Gleek's alike...

Week In Review

So let's recap the week here in sunny Massassachusetts.

Monday, clear and cold.
About 24 inches of snow on the ground from a month of huge snow storms.






Tuesday, snow. ALL DAY. 7 inches of accumulation.
Schools close early.





Wednesday, snow ALL DAY, which turns to sleet and freezing rain.
8 inches of accumulation of snow and ice which coats the ridiculously already snow covered ground. Two day total: 13-15 inches depending upon your location.
No School.





Thursday, light snow but no one really talks about it because at this point it's not really news.
1 inch or 2 of accumulation over the ice that has already accumulated from the day before.
Lots of schools closed due to pending dangers of roofs collapsing.





Friday, clear, frigid temps.
Still more school closings from roof dangers.





Saturday, MORE SNOW.
4-8 inches predicted.

MORE SNOW??

Blow it out your AS*!

Have a snow-less weekend bloggers!

What Did We DO To Deserve This?

I'm in the "Buy Lots Of Booze" part of the map...

The New North Pole

Yeah, not much else going on here except for another 16" of snow over the next two days.
This expresses my sentiments exactly.

Even the kids are praying for NO MORE snow days, if you can believe that. We have had so many this month, that they are considering getting rid of April vacation. Are you kidding me???

I heard Santa just bought a new place down the road. Says he thinks this is the place to be....the new North Pole.

Can't say that I blame him.