A Very Good Friday

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

" I feel terrible,"! He explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." 

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet,turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..........."Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

He's Bringing Sexy Back

I'm sorry but sexy is sexy is sexy is sexy.

So today I'm sayin' "Hey hey" to Michael Stray. That would be Michael Strahan, the retired NFL football star who is now Kelly Ripa's permanent co-host on the morning talk show"Live with Kelly and Michael".

I like Michael enough. He is extremely affable, articulate and as co host a great addition to morning TV. But here's the thing: I hardly ever watch that show. I just so happened to catch it the other day when the TV was left on and I saw the video above, live.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.
Dead sexy.

Sorry fellas, the dude got game and I'm a sucker for a big strong man. Mama likey, and I now see Mr. Strahan in a completely different light.

And he's looking good.

Now don't get me wrong, I won't be lusting after him cuz there's only one man that makes my heart go pitter patter for real (and his name is NOT Tommy). No thanks, I'm all set in the sexy man department. All I'm saying is sexy is sexy is sexy.

And Damn! if Michael Strahan ain't sexy.

From The Mouth's Of Babes

It all started innocent enough.

One night last May, Frick and her friends were sitting around my kitchen island chatting. Frack's old buddy from her Girl Authority days had come to see her in the school play that night and we were reminiscing about old times together. We were laughing and chatting and she uttered the words that have continued to haunt me since that night. She said,

"I love coming here. It still has the same warm feeling. Nothing has changed since we were kids. Even the bowl with the fake fruit is the same."

I realize, that in actuality, this was a huge compliment because she was saying that coming to my house gave her a good, comfortable feeling and her message was not lost on me. Still, I couldn't help but look around and think that she was right. In the 12 years that I have lived in my house, my kitchen remains unchanged. A year later, those words innocently offered up as a compliment continue to nip away at me.

My kitchen is not too far off from the one pictured above. As a matter of fact, it's pretty damn close, beside the obvious layout differences. Nonetheless, same cabinets, hardware, countertops and hardwood floor. When I step back and look at it, I realize that it is still very modern, still very unique but I'm not listing my home for sale. I'm living in it for everyday life. She was right, nothing has changed in a decade.

So what am I to do?

My first go to change would be to paint the walls. Obvious choice, but will it give me the change I so desire? I'm not so sure. Next would be to buy new furniture. A new kitchen table and new island stools would be sure to give it a jolt back to life, but I somehow feel like it would be an imposter, just masking the modern, sleek way it used to be. I'm thinking if I'm going to make change, it's got to be complete and that means new stone counters or new cabinets. Is that crazy?

What is the expiration date on kitchen couture?

Either way, it's going to be a challenge and an expense. The easy thing to do would be to start with the walls and then go from there.

But something tells me this isn't going to be a $$imple $$olution.

Happy Birthday Steven Tyler

Scooby dooby dooby doobie birthday shout out to Mr Steven Tyler who turns 65 today...Tyler's just a fraud though, because the real rock star is my son Frack, who turns 17 today! Holy moley when did THAT happen? Damn, that means I'm slinking up beside old and getting cozy.

Frack is getting old too, and handsome?

Every mother thinks her son is handsome, but now that Frack is 17 I can see his handsome and he's gotten manly. He drives now and he takes showers everyday and he got his braces off and he cut his hair! Thank you Jesus, because he was beginning to look like his birthday doppelganger, Mr. Tyler. Since then it's like I see him clearly and for the first time I see the man. It's wild! Like an ah-ha moment in our lives. I knew this day was coming, just not so soon.

A birthday dinner is in order and what's on the menu?

We talked about what kind of cake he wants (strawberry shortcake cake) and we talked about the restaurant he wants to go to (which is really bad, seriously) and I thought about how we would make the night special for him and tolerable for us. Then it hit me..why don't I COOK his favorite dinner??

Cook? Me? Oh yeah, I seem to remember when I used to love to do that. Since I opened the store I haven't had any time for that cooking nonsense, but Frack's birthday, being the National holiday that it is, I want to make it special for him. So his favorite dinner at home it is! Spaghetti and meatballs, mama style because I make the BEST and I'm taking the rest of the day off to cook for my little big birthday man. I'm felling a little scooby dooby doobie myself right now. Happy birthday you two crazy kids.

Oh yeah and Steven? If you're around why don't you stop by for some strawberry shortcake birthday cake and help Frack blow out the candles like a rock star.

iJacked

One of the things that I really love about my iPhone 5 is the calender app. For someone like me, it helps me to keep my appointments on track and even alerts me a day, an hour or ten minutes before an important appointment.

So it's no surprise that I'm completely PISSED that somehow, someway, I have no idea how; this fricken "Weekend Event Guide", that came from Facebook, and I  DID NOT add to my calender, has popped up on EVERYDAY of my month. WTF???

Can someone please tell me how to delete this sh*t, because now I'm pissed.

I googled the crap out of the subject, and what I found was the consensus that when you are invited to an event and you respond, you get all the events in your calender, even if you decline. Sources report that this is a FB "bug" or virus and hopefully it will work itself out, but I'm not too happy about it invading my personal space, or in this case my personal calender.

HELP!

Holding On For Dear Life

Girlfriend got a tight grip goin for safety.

23 Years In The Making

I got so very excited yesterday when I heard the news.

After 23 years to the day, the FBI announced a big break in the mysterious Gardner Art Heist. The Isabella Stuart Gardner museum, robbed by two men dressed as Boston cops on a dark and drizzly night, March 18th, 1990, has remained one of the greatest mysteries and one of the biggest art heist ever. The 13 works of art, valued at $500 million dollars, are today considered to be the most valuable works of art in the world.

What the FBI has announced is this:

• They know who did it. BUT, the statute of limitations has run out.
• They know that the 13 priceless works of art were sent to Connecticut and then Pennsylvania, and then offered up for sale in Philly. 
• That an "East Coast Crime Organization" orchestrated the heist and then tried to sell them off.
• They say they do not know where the precious works are now and they are appealing to the public for information by offering a $5 million dollar reward for their safe return.

What's really exciting is that the works, once theorized to be long destroyed, are now believed to be in good condition. According to Ulrich Bosser, author of "The Gardner Heist: The True Story Of World's Largest Unsolved Art Theft"  (which I read and HIGHLY recommend)

"What’s really exciting is that the FBI says, with a high degree of confidence, that they believe that the works were offered up for sale,” Boser added. “A lot of people have speculated over the years that the works have been destroyed.”

I, for one am intrigued and waiting with baited breath for the outcome which I hope to be the precious works returned to their rightful home.

So I can go see them for myself.

These developments are exciting indeed, but remember when I told you I read the book "The Gardner Heist"?  I learned one of the reasons "crime organizations" or criminals steal valuable art other than money is for use in negotiation to mitigate punishment for other heinous crimes they committed.

Sounds to me like Whitey is singing like a bird in jail.

Django Is Off The Ch-IZ-ain

Bad ass.

Those are the words that came to mind while watching Django yesterday. Quentin Tarantino is one bad ass Muther F*#ker. His entire Django world is bad ass and through all the gore, the blood and violence, twisted justice managed to prevail. The blurred lines in the battle between good and evil are at the core of the adventures of Dr. King Schultz and a black slave named Django.  Bounty hunting is their game and Django and Schultz form a profitable partnership in exchange for Django's freedom. These boys always get their man.





The all star cast: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson had me riveted from the opening seconds, and I seem to have a hankering to now watch Inglorious Basterds. Who is this Christoph Waltz? Where did he come from? Christoph Waltz is Badass. This academy award winning  performance lies at the center of the movie's moral conundrum with bounty hunting as a profession. This movie is no Midnight Run, although you will laugh at it's irony.

And shall we talk about Leo? and Samuel L?

Badass. Both of them.

And if you are in to bloody shootouts, then this movie is for you. I HATE violence, but the violence in Django was somehow necessary and brilliantly executed. Quentin Tarantino, in a cameo appearance, even blows himself up! Ingenious and fun and I can hardly believe I just typed those words. But I did. And that's what a gifted writer does for a story. We are fully vested in his characters and the world in which he creates. Unpleasantries like extreme violence become a vehicle to move the story along.

Talk about poetic justice. Django is one hell of a ride....

Into the smoke smoldering, last man standing, bloody sunset.

It's Going To Be A Smash!

Hey all! Here's a little "Weekly Wank" just for you!

A little shameless self promotion. This is me for the next two days and keep your fingers crossed that It is a successful event.

Stop by if you're around and say hi!

This Ain't Your Little Brother's BB's

OK ladies, by now I'm sure you've all heard about BB creams. If you haven't heard about them yet, then come out from under the rock that you have been living under and listen up!

BB Creams, (which stand for Beauty Balms) are quite possibly the best thing that has happened to make up in a long time. The thing about this simple, wonderful, multi-purpose beauty product is that it is packed full of benefits and complexion enhancers that will leave your skin glowing.

• They PRIME- BB's come in several complexion enhancing shades which can be worn alone or as a smoothing primer under your favorite foundation or mineral powders.
• They PERFECT-BB's even out skin tones, softens and smoothes skin texture during wear. 
• They PROTECT-Most BB's have an broad spectrum SPF which protect skin from damaging UVA and UVB rays. 
• BB's HYDRATE-Packed with moisturizing agents the Smashbox BB Cream boasts a 21% reduction in fine lines and wrinkles after 4 weeks of use and a 22% improvement in skin's moisturization.. 
• BB"s PREVENT-By controlling oil and aiding to prevent break outs, BB's help reduce the production of oil and shine.

With all that going for it, it's foolish not to have a BB Cream in your makeup bag. It takes all the guess work out of trying to create flawless skin. 

Loose Lips Sink Ships?

So have you heard about this?



Apparently Australian billionaire Clive Palmer thinks he's "king of the world"!

He's going to build an exact replica of the doomed Titanic ship and set sail from England to New York in 2016. Titanic II will be built at a Chinese ship yard and will be powered by diesel rather than the original ship's coal. The plans for Titanic II have been approved by a historic research team and like the first boat, it will have 840 rooms and nine decks.

Mr. Palmer estimates that the Titanic II will be built as closely to the original as possible, but that it will have state of the art engineering. The main changes will be below the water line for better maneuverability.

  "Titanic II will be the ultimate in comfort and luxury with on-board gymnasiums and swimming pools, libraries, high class restaurants and luxury cabins," he said.


Of course Mr Palmer was asked whether the ship could sink.

"Of course it will sink if you put a hole in it." He added: "It will be designed as a modern ship with all the technology to ensure that doesn't happen. But, of course, if you are superstitious like you are, you never know what could happen.''

No thanks. I think I'll stay on dry land and watch.

Just Because It's Almost St Paddy's Day

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, 'Ma' am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.'

The woman thinks to herself, 'Oh No, not my brother... he's an idiot!' She asks the doctor, 'Well, what's the girl's name?' Denise.'

'Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?'

'Denephew.'

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_moon.htm

Game Day

 Play Video and read on.

So I watched "Silver Linings Playbook" a few days ago.

I thought it was good. Adorable, actually but Oscar worthy? I guess the Academy answered that question. But here's the thing, this movie has actually stayed with me. I find myself thinking about things that happened in the movie. Like today, I heard this groovy song from Train and I actually envisioned Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence dancing at that contest thingie to this song. Weird right?

I though about psychosis.
Bradley Cooper's performance made his character's mental issues palpable. I nearly felt his pain and I'd call that Oscar worthy but I guess it was a bad year to submit this work to the Academy against Daniel Day Lewis and a presidential performance. Either way, I found his character Pat Solitano as sympathetic and teetering on the edge of sanity completely believable. The Chris Tucker cameos were brilliantly amusingly heart-felt.

I thought about family.
When I think about family I also have think about dysfunction and there was plenty of that going on in this movie. Robert DeNiro played Pat's estranged father as a Philadelphia Eagle obsessed gambling addict, who insulated his own psychosis using his doting wife and his sacred ritualistic "game day".

I thought about adultery.
Cooper's Pat was a man wronged by his wife and discovered her in his shower with another man.  This event triggered his downward spiral.

I thought about fear.
The fear of thinking outside the box and that Tiffany, Jennifer Lawrence, represented all of those things to Pat, yet he somehow felt safe and continued to pursue the dance routine he agreed to perform in exchange for a favor. A dance routine performed by jock, ex teacher,  ex-mental health patient at a regional competition?

I though about love.
And the power of love. And how love makes us do things we would never even dream that we were capable of. And that if we believe in love, it just may work out for us, like it did for Pat and Tiffany.

And if a movie can make me think of all these things in the days since I watched it, then I wouldn't call that too weird. I would call that a silver lining.

The Great Underwear Debate

Ok, so I vowed I wasn't going to get in to this on The Daily Dandy, but I gave up swearing for lent, not lying. HA! So here goes. This is one that had us all talking.

Yesterday I'm watching GMA and this story comes on about a mom and her 9 yr old daughter, who she took to Victoria Secret to buy underwear.  Now, there are a few details I need to report before you can form your opinion and respond.

• She took her to Pink, which is a subsidiary of Victoria Secret that is marketed to college age girls and is still in the same store as Victoria Secret, but has it's own space. Pink's designs are bright, bold, lacy racy and eye catching. As you can see some, not all designs have sayings that could be considered inappropriate for a nine year old. 
• The mother claims there is "nothing wrong with it". She says "No child wants to be the one in the locker room with the ugly underwear."
• The child claims it's time to leave the "Gymboree" behind and "move on to the next level. 
• The mom says she draws the line at lace. "There's a hard line between pretty and sexy and it's hard when we're talking about underwear to know where that difference is."

Here's the story:

And the GMA link:

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/mom-says-victorias-secret-okay-tween-132303210--abc-news-parenting.html

Tell me what you think! I'm dying to hear.
Oh, and there's one more thing.

Did I mention that the mom is a blogger?

Today's Special:Check This Out!

I spot a new fashion trend rising, and I'm crazy for it.

Hello lover.... Louis Vuitton Spring/Summer 2013 Collection has me all in a tither!
The bold check of Vuitton's signature Damier Canvas pattern in delicious colors and rich fabrics literally took my breath away.

The simplistic styles have an eye catching, elegance that is truly Louis Vuitton.

This was the money shot for me. One lingering look at Kirsten Dunst in Louis Vuitton Spring Summer 2013 and I was hooked. I needed to see more, so I took action. I Googled it.

It would seem that the fashion world agrees with me.

Classic silhouettes manage to appear sexy and bold. Retro drama is the key ingredient to this stunning collection.

Let's not forget the bags! Yes the bags are incredible.

Fellas, these are for you, but I suspect that more women will be snatching these up. You know how I feel about color...


So. I've resigned to the fact that I need to break the bank and own a piece of this amazing collection.
I'm thinking the one on the left has to be the one.

Marc Jacobs....I think I love you.

Up In a Puff Of Smoke

I feel like we are living in a bad Dan Brown novel.

Could it be that twice in my lifetime I will witness the Papal Conclave? It's fascinating. On Feb 28, 2013 Pope Benedict XVI resigned officially as the Pope, leader of the Roman Catholics of the world. This was seen as a dramatic turn of events since he is the first Pope to do so on his own initiative since Pope Celestine V in 1294.

History in the making, but I have to wonder why? I'm not sure we will ever know the answer to that. Since John Paul's death in 2005, I have witnessed the Papal process twice. It's the stuff of DaVinci Code makings, and like the book, I'm not quite sure there aren't any sinister doings going  behind closed doors. How could there not be? It is the Catholic Church we are talking about here. God forgive me....

Today it is expected the Vatican will announce the date of the 2013 Papal conclave, and lets hope it happens soon. The Catholic Church has a holy opportunity to make a statement here, and try to pick a Pope for the people. A Pope who is modern and yet understands the rich traditions that are at the basis of our faith and will help us to heal the deep wounds from the scandal. Because let's not kid ourselves, Roman Catholics across the world have been steeped in shame for quite some time. We have lost our faith in our faith and the time has come for Vatican penance.

Here's one Catholic who will be watching with interest, excitement and yes, reservations and caution. I pray for a modern leader that will save face for us so that we can move forward and hold our religious heads high.

Otherwise it will all just go up in a puff of smoke.

The Joys Of Parenting

Hey Bloggers, happy Friday!

It's the start of a fabulous weekend because Frick is coming home and I can't wait!!!
I miss her terribly and I'm so excited to spend some quality time with her. We are all looking forward to seeing her smiling face.

One thing I'm NOT excited about? The arguments that will ensue over the family car. I can just see it now.

FRICK: "FRACK! It's MY car and I'm taking it."
FRACK: "Shut up Frick! It's my car and you don't live here anymore." (pushing and shoving each other)

FRICK AND FRACK SCREAMING: "MOM!!!!!!!!"

It's such a joy. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

Take some time to enjoy your family this weekend bloggers.