Thursday, July 30, 2009

Smart-Ass Kids

My sister sent me this and I had to chuckle because my kids are just THIS smart. Brilliant, really. My mom always said that God is good and just and we would get ours when our time came...How right she was.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

18 comments:

BeckEye said...

Hahahahaha. That's funny.

Lestat de Lioncourt said...

Funny stuff. God is great, beer is good and people are crazy.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

That had me going....

Smart kids.

AV

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Love that story. Nothing like a little perspective, huh?

SkylersDad said...

This is one of my favorite jokes, thanks for posting it.

Scandalous Housewife said...

I used to write a note to my mom when I snuck out with a friend, and left it on my bed. It said, 'Dear Mom, we've snuck out. Don't worry, we won't do anything crazy.
Are you mad? Check one:
Yes, No, Maybe (and I had 3 boxes).
Fortunately, she never found the note, so I recycled it over and over. I was such an environmentalist!

Jimmy Bastard said...

Pure class!

Soda and Candy said...

Hahaha, nice.

It's actually a great way to break bad news!

Heff said...

Bwahahahahaaa !

Prunella Jones said...

Little wisenhiemer.

Just my type. How old is he? 15? I'll date him as soon as he's legal.

Chaka said...

That's a great idea. I guess everything is relative.

Madtexter said...

You are the best! People who like to make others laugh are the best people in the world.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

offt! punch in the gut!

smart ass indeed.

:)

Scope said...

Hey, wise guy, if you're so smart to write the note, how's come you aren't smart enough to get better grades?

The Dental Maven said...

Arghhhhh.

Scott Oglesby said...

That was hilarious!! Smart kid too, now he can get away murder for a couple months while the sub conscious memory is still fresh in dad’s mind! BTW- What’s wrong with trading marijuana for cocaine and X? They must be Mormon or something, huh?

Fancy Schmancy said...

I've seen that, and it scares me...

Anonymous said...

The photo of the boy reading the book is mine and that is my son. Please either give credit to me as the photographer and my son Braxton or take down the photo. Thank you.

Angie Hill