Monday, July 6, 2009

The Gluttony Of Chinese Eating

Why is it that when ordering Chinese food you end up ordering wayyyy more than you need? What is it about Chinese that turns you into a gluttonous pig who has to devour every thing? When we eat Chinese it's almost like the last supper, as everyone needs to order their favorite dishes and spoons far more food onto their plates than they should.

Let's say you go to your favorite steak house. Do you ever end up ordering 5 or 6 appetizers and then 3 or 4 main dishes? Not likely. What about Italian? Do you ever end up with numerous entrees and box the rest to take home? It's more likely that where ever you eat, besides Chinese, you possibly order one appetizer, one entree and if you don't finish it, you take the rest home. Right? So why do we cram fork-fulls of Chinese into our mouths like the apocalypse is about to descend upon us? Then, after the bountiful banquet of Chinese has been consumed, we leave the restaurant, with stomach's fully distressed, to go home and feel the need for something more to eat a mere 2 to 3 hours later. What gives?

I have my favorites at the Chinese restaurant, and I guess I would feel a sense of loss of I did not consume a small amount of each dish when I am eating Chinese. For instance, I love egg roll, and I have to have some Crab Rangoon and steamed vegetarian dumplings. But then those chicken fingers and chicken wings look awfully good, so I have to try those also. My Guy loves beef terriaki on a stick and my son loves Peking Ravioli, so I need to taste a little of those too. Boneless spareribs for my daughter, and those are just the appetizers! Then comes the main entrees. The kids love chicken lo mein and General Gau Chicken with fried rice, then I have to have my spicy string beans and chicken and shrimp dish as well as a sizzling beef with onions dish and what the hell; lets get the shrimp with lobster sauce and try the basil chicken special!

You see where this is headed?
I'm feeling sick all over again. The worst part is, that after all that gluttony, we take home the left overs, but no one wants to touch them because we made such pigs out of ourselves the night before. After a feast like that I have just about had my fill of Chinese for at least a few days.

Then someone mentions the restaurant's wonderful lunch buffet and my Chinese wheels start turning. Could I do it all over again? I guess I could just have a little bit, because it's nothing like dinner. At lunch you have the option of ordering a lunch plate, complete with 2 to 3 delicacies suited to your tastes. No biggie right? The other option is the "all you can eat" buffet which, of course, has an endless supply of everyone's favorites, with no limit on your servings or their size and if I go for that option I can get more of my favorites.

And so it begins again.
The gluttony of Chinese eating. I am almost ashamed to tell you that I am seriously considering having some right now.

I just have one question for you.

How many of you are going to the local Chinese restaurant for lunch today after reading this?

16 comments:

Bill Stankus said...

I'll do Thai, thank you.

wigsf said...

Chinese food is disgusting. I hate it. It is my belief that Chinese food is the reason Chinese people have emigrated all over the world.

Heff said...

I myself do not understand the Chinese Food phenomenon, yet I make a HOG out of myself with it at least once a month. We have a Chinese buffet here in town, and we always pile up so much food "to go" in boxes, I honestly don't see how they make a profit. If they're out of shrimp, you know Donna just left.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Count me out. I got really sick one day after eating some Chinese. After about a year, I braved it again.

For the rest of the day I felt so bloated and full that I wanted to die and/or explode, Mr. Creosote-style.

So, no, I won't be hitting the Chinese today or any day in the foreseeable future.

Cora said...

I know what you mean. I'm the same way. I have self control if the cuisine is Italian, Mexican, Thai, Japanese, yada yada yada.... but place Chinese food in front of me and I turn into a bottomless pit. I will eat until it hurts and I have to undo my pants on the couch like I'm Al Bundy! It ain't pretty. I bet they put something in the food that makes us do that, Candy.

The Dental Maven said...

I LOVE Chinese Food!! And we have the same gluttonous approach to ordering. There's something so fun and strangely romantic about eating it. And it goes great with Chardonnay!!!

Now, where's that take-out menu...

Soda and Candy said...

Mmmm, Chinese food.

Thanks a lot Candy, now I'm starving!

Chaka said...

I hear you with the Chinese food. It's hard to just try two or three items. I would have eaten Chinese today had I read your post any earlier. My only hangup with Chinese food is the dessert. A hard cookie? They gave us fireworks and Bruce Lee. I know they can do better than that.

John said...

I'll skip the lunch buffet, but I'll definitely do the duck for Christmas!

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra RA ra ra!

: )

Andy said...

What's weird is you eat all of that, and then two hours later you are hungry again.

I get sweet and sour chicken, or coconut shrimp. That's about it. I'm Chinese-terrified.

Pop and Ice said...

I NEVER eat Chinese. But almost everyone I know, excepting my own kids, loves it. My husband has to do without it or eat it at lunch. Somewhere we missed the *eating chinese* gene.

Scope said...

I'm with Bill. Actually rarely eat Chinese food, but Thai? There are no kidding, no less than 8 Thai places within an easy walk from my place, ALL ON ONE STREET. (And it's predominently a GERMAN neighborhood, go figure.)

katrocket said...

A keen observation - my friends and I prefer Japanese cuisine, and we're often guilty of ordering too much sushi for the group as well, but for some reason, there's NEVER any leftovers. I think it's because we've convinced ourselves that sushi is "healthy".

Fancy Schmancy said...

I had the buffet last Friday for the first time in months. It. Was. Awesome.

Scope said...

In order for you not to sic your Karma dogs upon me, I must tell you that you totally inspired today's SCOPE-TECH post.

I did do the linky thing for ya, 'cuz I'm no sub-continental hack.

ric said...

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