Friday, March 20, 2009

So Long Sucker!

Since today is officially the first day of Spring and winter is now in our proverbial rear view mirror, here is a little ode to what that nasty season is like in my neck of the woods. Eat my dust Old Man Winter!

Forget Rednecks is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in...New England

If someone at Home Depot that doesn't work there, offers you assistance, you live in...New England

If you've had a telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in...New England

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New Hampshire for the weekend, you live in...New England

If you know several people who have hit a deer w/ their car, you live in...New England

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in...New England

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in...New England

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you live in...New England

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in...New England

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in...New England

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in...New England

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in...New England

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in...New England

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in...New England

If you don't think twice about cutting someone off to get in or out of a Rotary and you enjoy it you live in...New England

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in...New England

If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in...New England

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends & others, you live or have lived in...New England

Happy Spring Y'All!


Bill Stankus said...

And don't forget all the variations of the responses you get if you ask someone for directions... from being ignored to 'say what' to 'you talking to me?'.

I once was delivering something I made to a Boston university - I couldn't find the right streets and no one would help. I ended up hiring a taxi to lead me to the school. And the cabbie acted as if what we did was a common practice!

None the less, I love New England!

Sass said...


I think those would apply to Illinois, too.

Candi said...

I am so laughing at this post! I can't officially call myself a New Englander yet since I have only been here 6 1/2 months, but I can totally relate to these!! And really, what is up with all the Dunkin' Donuts?? When my sister was visiting we counted 11 within a 2 mile drive!

Oh AND - this displaced Texan loved the "ya'll" at the end!

Scope said...

The first time I read most of those, they were about Minnesota, but regarless, still funny.

I like the one about the traffic circle. There was one near where I lived in the 'burbs years ago, and you would have to warn people about it when giving them directions, because the main road thru entered and exited at 3:00 and 6:00. If you went half way around, you ended up going the wrong way.

B.E. Earl said...

Happy Spring!

It was snowing here on Long Island this morning for about an hour and a half. WTF is that all about?

GeologyJoe said...

haha. yep i live in New England alright.

Soda and Candy said...

Hahaha, that's funny! I'm still glad I don't live in a snowy place though, even if it would make the roads better!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I would do a list like this on my Chicago blog,, but all the founding members but me stopped posting. : (

Spring time! I'm going to celebrate by drinking beer and watching basketball and getting in trouble!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Wait...didn't I see that it was snowing in Boston this morning?

Also...the most common states to hit a deer in are Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio. Last I checked, those weren't New England states...

Heff said...

I think we've probably got one more good freeze comin' 'round my parts.

Cora said...

YAHOO!!!! SPRING!!!! :-)

Kiss it, Winter ~ take a hike!

John said...

: ) I didn't know there were New England jokes.

The Dental Maven said...

Yup, brings me back to my dental school days in Boston. Now THAT is a great city!

Jennifer and Sandi said...


Have a super weekend!

- Jennifer

Joe D. said...

I love living below the Mason-Dixon line. 60's and sunny for about two weeks now.

I love Spring. The days get longer and skirts get shorter.

Wendy said...

At first I thought those were trees in the foreground and then when I looked closer realized they are ICICLES! Holy hell!!! No wonder you're ready for spring!

Furtheron said...

Many of those could be translated to the original England :-)

J.T's Tale said...

Happy spring to you too. I am still here.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Ha-ha, too true!

Cheryl said...

... I need to move to New England.

Lisa said...

So funny!

10 degrees being bit chilly makes me wanna run further south!

Anonymous said...

Reading that... I'm glad I don't live in New England. Rio de Janeiro is much more pleasant, no snow!