Wednesday, March 4, 2009

June Cleaver I'm Not



Let's face facts here. June Cleaver, I'm not. That dream died right along with the dawn of the new Millennium.
I realize that I am the mother at this address and that I am currently unemployed, but there has got to be more to my life than providing sustenance for my family on a daily basis. Doesn't there?
What, do you ask, was the catalyst of this epiphany?

It's all THEIR fault.

Those little babies above are causing quite a stir lately at the Daily Dandy headquarters.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I get up every weekday morning, bright and early with Frick and Frack, before school. My Guy is the "official riser". He then wakes me from my peaceful slumber and either he or I wake the children for school. I have always got up with my kids, gave them breakfast and sent them off to school. Even when I had a live in nanny. No exceptions. To me, it is right there in the Mom's handbook under job description. As first one up, it was and still is, my job to get breakfast ready for everyone so that we can maximize those precious early morning minutes before the school bus. Some days thing run smoothly and some days; not so much.

Since I am an early riser in general, getting the kids breakfast and off to school is like second nature to me. Usually breakfast amounts to nothing more than a choice of a toasted bagel with cream cheese, cereal, fruit or instant oatmeal. No big deal. Frick and Frack are certainly old enough to get their own breakfast without assistance from me, but I am present nonetheless.

Recently, I got a coupon for the cinnamon buns and bought them so that I could serve them for breakfast. I decided to surprise everyone one day a few weeks ago and got up a half hour early, so that I could bake the buns and have them ready for the morning rush.

Big mistake....Huge. They were a big hit. Great, right! Wrong.

The result has been a unanimous mutiny at the breakfast table, when cinnabons are not present. I have made them once more since that first morning, which is obviously not good enough. They (and this includes all of them) have even thrown in the occasional remark, "sure would have been nice to have fresh, hot cinnamon buns this morning". Like I'm friggin June Cleaver or something.

The tasty little morsels take 18-23 minutes to bake, then must cool for a few minutes before adding the frosting. Completing this process requires that I rise 30 minutes earlier that the rest of the household so that they will be ready and available for breakfast. Now I don't mind the occasional 5:30 wake-up, but on a daily basis? They are out of their freakin minds.

Despite the fact that consuming that amount of sugar and preservatives daily would not be prudent or healthy and that I have pointed this fact out on numerous occasions, the cinnabon controversy continues here. I have created a breakfast monster, with zero support from My Guy, as he is a card carrying member of Team Cinnabon.

Is this not a modern world we live in?

Listen Beaver, June got breast implants and botox and has a part time job at the mall. It's not all about you people any more. You, Ward and Wally are on your own in the morning because June has a life and a book club and a gym membership . Get over it and get your own God damn breakfast!

24 comments:

Jori said...

How about one of THEM getting up early enough to make them for you? Oh yeah, it's not Mother's Day is it?

Sassy Britches said...

You tell 'em, sister! Mutiny or not, having that breakfast every day is unhealthy; you're right! I think you should give them the smack down in no uncertain terms on this issue!

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Hey, those muffins look darn tasty. I agree that June got implants and Botox. I thought that I was the only one that thought that. Thank goodness....I thought I was a little warped or something :)
Please drop by my blog for a little visit if you have a minute or two of your life that you want to waste.......

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Sass said...

Ugh. I know the feeling.

My kids shower me with compliments about my "bestest in the whole wide world omelets."

It's not like they just magically appear, though.

CHEF TROLL said...

I'm betting you don't even bother putting on a cocktail dress, high heels and pearls before making breakfast. Slovenly wench!

Bill Stankus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanie said...

At least you don't have to make them from scratch!

Grands Cinnamon rolls are our traditional Christmas morning breakfast, along with Orange rolls and orange juice and coffee.

Bill Stankus said...

Using the TV metaphor,

June Cleaver is the sexist ideal. In real life it's all The Roseanne Show.

Here's how it breaks down - your kids are pretty much yours until their puberty. After that, you are simply a supplier of stuff and ATM. And those cute kids? They're just aggressive con artists until they're on their own. Ha ha.

(deleted the other - typo)

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Uh, you have those on a daily basis and all of you are going to end up in the emergency room with congestive heart failure. For their health's sake (wink, wink, nod, nod) I would only serve those on Saturday mornings because I love them so much and want to see them live to a ripe old age.

SkylersDad said...

Your readers are demanding a picture placed on your blog of you cooking the rolls in your cocktail dress and pearls! :^)

Jen W said...

I'd probably just tell my kids that given this economy, the cinnamon roll company went out of business and no more cinnamon rolls will be provided at the breakfast table- wait, that would be lying to them. Is that wrong?

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Yep gotta love the Cin. Rolls. Huge hit at our house on the weekends. Its a staple now!

Happy Wed!

- Jennifer

Alex Galvez said...

Bravo Zulu (BZ) to you fellow stay-at-home. That BZ is Navy talk for awesome job! I too get up at 0515, get the kids up, make lunches, make breakfasts, coordinate showers and get my two boys dressed and ready for mommy to take them to school on her way to work. I gave up on trying to find a job on this rock and signed up for Grad school. Might as well use my GI Bill and do all my M.A. in Classical History at home, online.

LYDIA said...

You are such a sweet mom though Candy Cane. I am sad to say that not once in my almost two years of marriage have I gotten up early to make breakfast. Yeah, I know - that's horribly rude of me! You are sweet to do it just once :)

It's Just Me said...

Pretty sure if people wanted it that badly then "people" could figure out how to turn on the damn stove and get it themselves.... and by the way here are the hot pads, I would advice you to use them.

That would sum up my response. I am not raising mommy depended children in my house either and am sure tootin' that pilsbury doh boy is simple enough for my 8 yr old girl to master then it is easy enough for anyone over the 2nd grade too!

Stick to your guns, a treat is a treat -if it is everyday it is no longer a TREAT!

;)

TishTash said...

See, this is why I never want to be a Mom. The damn kids would probably starve. (Possible future progeny breathe collective sigh of relief.)

John said...

Yeah.

Cinnabons = crack pipe

Ed The Sports Fan said...

lol, this is too funny...makes me wanna wine to my mama and tell her she makes the bestest sweet potato pie ever!

(gonna call mama right now)

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

Cowguy said...

Nice buns!

and

"Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night."

That is all.

J.

Breathe said...

Just remember the adage; If you give a kid a cinnabon, you've fed him for a day.

If you teach a kid to make his own damn cinnabon you've achieved the impossible.

Sassy Britches said...

P.S. Award for you over at my place...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'd be real happy with a wife with a boob job who made me cinammon rolls from a tube.

Chaka said...

That's cool that you make breakfast for your kids, but after having Cinnamon buns for breakfast it is hard to go back to bagels. It's like going back to using a rotary phone. Great post, but I was hoping for a mention of Eddie Haskel.

Scope said...

Obviously I overslept and missed the breakfast call on this one.

Yeah, a once a month weekend treat sounds like a plan. That way they are "special".

Otherwise, swing by the bakery where they have the cinnimon bread with the glazing on top, and toast that for them. My mom had a line about beggers and choosers that you may have heard of. She said it often enough, I think it became famous.

And knowing where my bloggy mind has been, be thankful I didn't mention that I'd always wanted to see your buns.