Just don't piss me off or I'll be left with no choice but to reveal you to the world for what you truly are!!
I mean it! I have had it with your stupid shit and you know what? You are getting on my very last nerve!
Keep your friggin dogs quiet on Sunday mornings and your trash cans sealed properly so that said dogs can't get into them and strew your waste all over my yard and the street we live on.
Quit obnoxiously honking the horn every morning before 7am for your kids to come out while you warm up your car or, whatever it is that you do, before you drive them to school.
Stop dumping all your leaves and grass clippings into my yard. You know full well that with one strong gust of wind and they end up all over my lawn and then we have go out and clean them up again. Don't play innocent.
And, if it wouldn't be too much trouble to ask, if the UPS guy delivers a package to your house in error, please have the decency to deliver the box to us in a timely fashion. Like sometime DURING THE MONTH in which it was delivered. Not two months after the delivery. Thanks. I would appreciate it so that my Aunt in Kentucky won't think I am a complete ingrate for not acknowledging her gift with a thank you.
Just so we are clear, we are NOT friends, so when you have your little parties at your house it is not ok for your guests to park in my driveway and yes we do care if they do, thank you very much.
Now that I have gotten all that off my chest, I really do feel better. That, and the fact that I marched my ass outside this morning and hammered this into the ground for all to see, in your honor.
Have a nice day asshole!