Thursday, February 26, 2009

Privacy Please


Sometimes I miss the good old days, back when my kids were really little. Those were the days of innocence, before they both became TWM (Teens With Mouths) and I was their God. I was a stay at home mom and since Frick and Frack are only 19 months apart, we pretty much did everything together. My two amigos and I; they were then and will always be, the yin to my yang. We are still very close, me and my kids, the difference between then and now is that now they know everything and have all the answers. My bad for not seeing it their way. These days I get a lot of, “What-ever mom!”

Anyway, yesterday I was over at Vodka Mom’s blog, I Need a Martini Mom, and she had posted a wonderful, sincere note of gratitude to all of her 541 blog followers. (I stand in awe. The woman is a legend) In perfect Vodka Mom fashion she closed the post with a funny story about her kids which gave me the inspiration for today’s post! Many thanks to Vodka Mom and her wicked sense of humor! (here in Boston, wicked is a GREAT thing! like wicked pissa!)

So, as I told you, when the kids were babies, the three of us were like matching luggage. We traveled everywhere together. Where ever I went, they would follow, especially around the house. If I were cooking, my babies were on the kitchen floor, happily playing with wooden spoons, whisks and pots and pans. If I were watching TV with them, it was usually a Disney Sing Along Video, and we would play together as they sang along with the Disney classics. If I had to go to the bathroom, they would follow me right behind me into the bathroom and find something to get into while mom took care of business.

The only time this bathroom business got tricky was when AUNT FLO came to visit. To tell you the truth, I never really thought much about the manner in which I ushered them out of the bathroom during those times, but I knew I had somehow managed to do it. As I said, I never gave it a second thought until one day, when my baby girl was sitting on the bathroom floor opening and closing the doors under the bathroom sink while I applied my make-up. She came across a box of tampons and proceeded to open it up and take one out. She studied it intently for a few moments. It was almost like I could see her brilliant little mind working overtime to figure out what the strange item was. She held up the single, un-opened Tampax and said triumphantly, “Look mommy. This is your privacy!”

My little future brain surgeon had figured it all out. The strange item equated to mommy’s privacy. I soon realized that I must have consistently held the Tampax in my hand while ushering my babies out of the bathroom while explaining, “Mommy needs her privacy.”

A child’s mind is a wondrous thing. Oh how I miss those days!!

41 comments:

Cowguy said...

Dear Candy,

I feel strangely... strange bumbling into your privacy post, spinning around the room, trying to focus on a bar of soap on the sink... banging my knee on an open cabinet door and finally running into the closed door of your bathroom in my final attempt to escape.

I'll be back on "man day".

Excuse me, oh and I hung the towel on the back door that I subconsciously carried out with me .

:-)
J.

Cora said...

I know what you mean. (sniffle.) The best age was when my kid was four. Ohhh, that was the best year ever! I miss that.

And here's a big YAY for those Disney Sing Along videos!!!! We had those too. I don't think I would have survived without them!

Sassy Britches said...

I am constantly in awe of these kid stories. I have to file them away for if I ever have them and they do things that make me want to poke my eyes out. I will need to remember then how cool they are. Thanks for sharing!

SkylersDad said...

Be sure to tell us the story about what she called your vibrator when she found it!

MelO said...

OMG!! That is sooo cute. This reminded me of a story I will NOT be sharing... LMAO!

Also-why did I not realize you are from BOSTON??? That's wicked cool! :) Practically all of my dad's side still lives in or around Boston! What a small world :P

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

That's hilarious! So far, I've managed to hide all those things from the Peanut. BTW, I have a question for you about Mexico and NOWHERE do you have an email, so please email me so I can email u...see, if you were on Facebook, I could just go there! :-)

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Oh my! That is so cute! I'm sure you miss those days.

I guess I will too - but for now I JUST want to be LEFT ALONE for more than 2 minutes.

By the way, my kids are 20 months apart. Does the "her window is 2 centimeters open more than mine" ever stop???

Giggle Pixie said...

I miss those days...and those amazing things my son used to say...

Slyde said...

my son is my little right hand right now.. when he gets older and we lose that connection, its going to break my heart...

Heff said...

Hey, how is ol' Aunt Flo, anyway ? Lmao !!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Skylers Dad!!!!
HAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA! That one goes in the Hall of Fame 2009 archives!!! Yes indeedy!!
Brilliant!

Heff-We should have a special place in our heart for dear old Aunt Flo-she's what brought us together-you and I ;)

Mr Farty said...

Just...ew!

Vodka Mom said...

OMG!!! I am totally linking to you in the morning. Don't you DARE post anything!!!!


hahaha

Scope said...

I am sure as HELL we were not allowed in the bathroom with my mom. It was so small we would actually have had to stand in the tub.

I think it was a different time.

Meghan said...

Hahaha, great story.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Vodka Mom sent me over...glad she did! Hilarious post - I do the 'privacy' thing with Princess Nagger, too - wonder if she's figured it out? ;)

The Dental Maven said...

Hope you cleared up the definition of "privacy" before that came up in school.

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

I'm so old I don't need 'privacy' anymore. Thank goodness for the perks of our elder years.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Wonderful post! Reminds me of the time when my son tied my bra on his head as his version of padded headgear!

Jeanne said...

Here because Vodka Mom sent me....

Went through the shared bathroom with my daughter, and again (sans tampons) with my granddaughter.

I don't miss sharing a bathroom, but I do miss when they were that small....

Michele said...

Kids do figure things out quick enough don't they?

Karen H. said...

Hi. Vodka Mom sent me. I know exactly where you are in life - mine are 18 months apart and ages 4 and 5, always Velcro'd to my side. Lovely post.

Real Live Lesbian said...

How smart for a little one!

Does wavin' that thing around still work? LOL

John said...

Hmmm...I probably shouldn't comment on your girly bits, so instead I'll leave you this book recommendation about the Good Ole Days. : )

Joanie said...

Yup. Me too. Vodka Mom sent me. And I'm glad she did! That was priceless!
One of my kids used to call the telephone the "hello". Funny how the word association works in little minds.

Jen W said...

I love that- your privacy!

My daughter once saw a box of pads in my bathroom and asked why I was wearing diapers.

Elenka said...

traveled here from Maine thru Vodka Mom. Yes, those were the days. Oh my god, how I miss them.
I, too, am too old for privacy anymore. I don't miss that.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Hi. i came from Vodka Mom's. Loved your post. I remember when my son and I would fight outside the public restrooms becuase he thought he was old enough to go in to the men's by himself and it freaked me out.

Suzy said...

Here from Vodka Mom. Kids have minds like steel traps. Don't you wish husbands did?

LegalMist said...

Hilarious!! Kids are amazingly bright, and their little minds make such interesting connections, don't they?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Here from Vodka Mom's shout out--I'm thinking back and I think I kept the boys out, but not my littlest girl--that would probably be because she was more like an appendage than a toddler.

Captain Dumbass said...

Not looking forward to TWM.

Kelli said...

LOL! Vodka Mom sent me over. I was laughing at this because I can totally relate. My kids are at that age now. I wonder what my daughter will think someday about mom needing her privacy! Too hilarious!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Routed here from VM's blog. I don't have kids, and now I'm trying to recall how I told my two maltese that it was canine-mommy's private time.

Maybe I just let them in though, who knows!

WhisperingWriter said...

I'm going through those days now.

Maybe if I hold a tampon I'll get privacy in the bathroom? It's been so long, it's sort of weird when I do get to pee in private.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I don't remember how I relayed my need for bathroom privacy, but I do remember how much we loved Disney sing-a-long videos! Those were the good old days. Now my little nieces rock out to Hannah Montana and High School Musical crap.

Snow White said...

Oh Candy. No, Vodka Mom and I aren't co-workers. I'm just that effing cool!! Did you not get the memo? P.S. You were cracking me up last night commenting on my posts.

<3 The Prissy Ass Bitch aka Mrs. Robinson (any other names you wanna call me today?)

muah!

Snow White said...

oops oops oops! I am sooo sorry. I just realized when I was reading comments from my phone i was confused (read: drunk) and I thought YOU were commenting on my blog...
open mouth, insert foot. ignore my previous comment.

don't hate me. love me for my stupidity! eek

Bacardi Mama said...

Vodka Mom sent me over. So glad she did. I loved your post. It took me back many years to when my girls were young.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Oh that's funny...see kids are smart...they see what we don't..too funny!!

Wendy said...

I was feeling all weepy and wistful about your description of how your sweet children played with pots and spoons and the idyllic picture you paint of your togetherness. What the heck kind of Stepford children do you have and where can I get some?

Is it because I have boys? Instead of Stepford mine are more like Nightmare on Elm Street meets Home Alone. In fact, right now as I'm typing this I am yelling, "I've told you 50-one-hundred times to NOT DRINK THE BATHWATER!"

Great story!