Re-entry Into The Earth's Atmosphere

I'm back and just adjusting to re-entry of the atmosphere of my life. These are just a few of my observations:

• When did Charlie Sheen decide he needed a press tour? As weird and unconventional as this latest media barrage is, I can't help but think this whole thing has been carefully orchestrated. Bizarre, yes. Stupid? I don't think so. I'm beginning to think that the guy is a real genius.

• Somehow, the fact that it snowed 4 or 5 inches the night I arrived home didn't seem to bother me one bit.

• Jet Blue totally has it figured out. I mean, everyone is created equal (no coach or first class), and they give you your own TV. I had all this work I brought with me with every intention of doing it quietly on the plane. That was until A&E had a Hoarders marathon on. So much for getting any work done. 3 and a half hours of Hoarders sure beats the hell out of work in my book.

• The Oscars were boring, but the fashions were not. The shot of Gwenneth above was my favorite dress of the night. I loved Juliana Rancic's dress also, which was designed by Christian Siriano, the Season four winner of Project Runway. So fierce.. I thought Scarlett Johanssen looked like a whore. Sorry.

• So I was watching the E Channel a few hours before the Oscar telecast and they had this whole fashion theme going on. They had all these people on I didn't know talking about fashion, and here's the thing: When did the Kardashians become experts on fashion? Kris Jenner was on hand as a fashion "expert"and, they had the two youngest ones filming in big sister Klohe's closet. Klohe later tweeted, which was scrolled across the screen, "Kendall and Kylie in my closet. How about asking me first? lol" Something tells me Klohe Kardashian knows when the E crews are filming in her closet. Puh-lease.

• Ryan Seacrest is a bigger star than some of the people he interviewed on the red carpet last night. Awkward.

• I'd really like Colin Firth to read me a bedtime story. Does the fact that he won an Oscar mean that I'd have to pay him the big bucks to do it now?

• Now that the Oscars are over, does this mean that the powers that be will stop shoving Natalie Portman down my throat. And I'm a fan, believe it or not.

Today's Special: Lips Of Fire

It's the hottest trend for spring, but it can't be considered new. It's an old stand by, been given new life by the Fashion powers that be. I'm talking about red lipstick, and there is no better time than now to rock the look. Red lipstick tends to split the wearers of lipstick into two categories: 1. Those who do. and 2. Those who don't. I'm here to tell you we can all be those who do wear this vibrant look.

For those of you who wear red lips regularly, I'm sure you know all about the "power" that a crimson pucker can carry, but did you know how easy and complimentary red lips can be? A pop of red on the lips serves to bring attention to your eyes and your flawless skin in more ways than one. First lets talk about the different hues of red. There are blue reds and orange reds, both of which look different on different skin tones. Pink complected skin tones look better in blue based red lip colors, and yellow based complexions seem to favor the warmer, orange based red lipsticks. Choosing the right color is as easy as pretending to be a little girl in your mama's make up bag; you gotta try them on.

A general rule of thumb, (although there are no rules in make-up) is that if you are making your lips crimson, you'd best be served keeping everything else light (refer to the lovely January Jones above); ie: blush, eyeshadow, liner, etc. Unless you're a Cirque du Soleil performer, I think this guideline is a safe bet. Once you've completed a soft, natural look, you can apply the final element. Your lips of fire...

Red lipstick can sometimes feather in the upper lip, in fact all lipsticks have the potential to creep above the lip line, but because of red's vibrance it can be more sightly than a neutral toned lipstick. To prevent feathering, and to give lips a longer lasting fighting chance, I recommend you apply a small amount of under eye concealer with a synthetic brush above and below the line of the lip, then fill in your lip completely with a bare lip liner, or a complimentary red lip liner. The idea is for the liner not to compete with the lips, but to act as an anchor for the crimson lipstick.

Blotting with a tissue is never a bad idea when using red and depending upon your finish preferences, a matte look or shine, apply a small amount of gloss to the bulb of the top and lower lip only and blend slightly. If you prefer a red that is sheer, mix a small amount of red with a clear gloss on the back of your hand and apply. Nothing finishes a dramatic look better and gives you that final element of fancy you desire.

Rock those red lips girls! The Fashion Gods have spoken. If you have never worn red lips, I'm telling you, now is the time to try. Because once you go red, you may never go back.

Sei No Evil

I missed Glee last night, so no FAB recap today, but did you see this?

Click the play button, I'll wait.

That was the "live" shot just outside the Grammy's and the reporter, Serene Branson, obviously struggling to speak, is now saying she suffered a seizure during a live shot when she was reporting from the Grammys on Sunday. Sources report that immediately following the garbled report, she was fine and received a check from paramedics at the scene, but experts are saying otherwise. Some believe that a deep rooted medical problem may be to blame for the incident.

Some speculate this was caused by a mini seizure and others wonder if it was the result of a slight stroke, brought on by prolonged exposure to bright and sometimes flashing lights. One thing is for sure, she couldn't wrap her brain around the words she needed to speak.

Having been in front of the camera once or twice in my life, I can speak from experience when I say, adrenaline, nerves and inexperience could be the culprit here. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that this was her first "big shot" at a live shot. In her mind she had her career riding on this 15 second moment in front of the camera and she knew it. Panic and his evil cousin Anxiety might have chosen just that moment to wreak havoc on the poor woman, and once you open the floodgates to those two, the result could look something like this. If you've ever experienced a panic attack, you know exactly what I mean. I'm just sayin. This is my theory, cuz I've been there.

There are those who would say that to explain this away by diagnosing this as a simple panic attack is dangerous and reckless at best. I am certainly not a medical doctor nor do I play one on TV, I'm simply implying that if an extensive medical check up provides no evidence of a serious, underlying medical condition, that common condition called anxiety could be to blame. Look at all those "Funniest Home Videos" that show brides and grooms on their wedding day, garbling their vows and speaking in unrecognizable language. Some even fainted from the anxiety. It's a possibility.

I hope for Serene Branson's sake that this is the case, because I think at one time or another, we've all been there in some way.

MonAPPLEly

So I go my local Apple store in the mall on Saturday, my one day off at the end of the week, to pick up a few accessories for My Guy, who just converted to the iPhone with Verizon. The mall was tempered with moderate traffic, not bad for a Saturday, but not crazy. As I walked through the entrance of the Apple Store, my first destination, I was amazed at the scene before me. It was peppered with tons of people of all shapes and sizes. If I were to guess, I would say that more than half of the population of the entire mall, minus the people who work there, were jammed into the walls that house the Apple store.

To my left, there was a class taking place for new users of the iPad. At least twenty people sitting around a table, with rapt attention focused on the instructors and their devices. To my right, a queue, as they call it at the Apple store, with about 10 or more people waiting to speak to an Apple specialist about their Apple devices. All around me were kids, parents, people alike tapping, rapping and fiddling around with the latest that Apple has to offer. But I was on a mission and I knew exactly what I wanted and needed no assistance from a specialist. I would be quick.

As I approached the wall that holds the accessories for the various Apple devices, I quickly realized that this was going to take a while. It was quite possibly the busiest part of the store. I stood behind the wall of people browsing the hanging accessories and waited a good 10-15 minutes till I was able to get to the front of the wall and make my selections.

Then it hit me. This company, Apple Inc. is not just an average company that produces technology for our consumption, it is a movement. A way of life.

My family alone will soon have 4 iPhone devices, 2 iPads and 3 Mac books. That constitutes a monopoly in my book. What is it about the Apple devices that has captured the attention of our technological psyche? Now, with the dawn of Verizon users being able to convert to the iPhone, Apple has positioned itself as the "techno chic" giant in the industry. They make it easy to convert all of your media and sharing into one tiny, hand held device.

There are those who shun Apple, for reasons only known to them, but if they think about it, wouldn't they say they are curious? Apple has even taken over the televisions in my household. Using my iPhone or iPad as a remote, the media, music and movies in my household are never more that a single touch screen away.

Having said all of this, I must admit to needing my lone PC for other important things. I will contine on with that probably until Apple figures out how to enable users to utilize the Adobe Flash Player.

Mr. PC? It's a good bet your days are numbered.

My Funny Valentine

Happy Valentines Day! In honor of that time honored tradition of love and romance I'm posting Valentine commercials for your enjoyment.

After you've viewed all the commercials, please go the sidebar and vote on your favorite.

Have a great Valentines day!

#1



#2



#3

Top Ten Reasons Why I Need A Fricken Vacation

I'm just about ready to blow my vacation load and I've got one week left till I get the hell outta Dodge and hit vacation nirvana. Here's why:

10. SNOW. Snow, then more snow and if that wasn't enough here's a little more snow. And by now, it's not even pretty. It's fricken black and yellow and dirty, icy and dangerous. The snow banks are so high you literally take your life into your own hands by getting into your car. The street I live on is too narrow (because of the snow) for two cars to pass. If you get caught with another car, one has to find the nearest driveway to pull into.

9. It's February. Besides being the shortest month of the year, (thank God) February has got to be the WORST month of the year. We are still on that "most wonderful time of the year" hangover and stuck in the middle of "nothing to look forward to". February's only redeeming quality: GREAT SALES, on winter clothes and shoes, but I can live with that.

8. White skin. Yeah, my milky white legs and arms just aren't doing my psyche any good at all. And I've been working out like a highly trained athlete. Still, it's not attractive. Even a gradual self-tanner (which I highly recommend for this time of year) isn't doing the trick. I need good old vitamin D to pump things up a bit.

7. Burn out. Try as I might, that same old, same old is getting just plain old. The comfort of my everyday routine just isn't the same when it's frigid outside. Although a glass of wine always seems to help.

6. My Dogs. Now, you all know I love my dogs, God bless em', but lately THEY SUCK! Too much snow and bitter cold makes them think that it's OK to piss and shit INSIDE the house instead of outside the house like they are supposed to. Then, they look at me all innocent, like I'm the bad guy.

5. I haven't had one since my honeymoon. September 2010. Need I say more?

4. Did I mention burn out? What is it about this time of year that signals the crash and burn mode? No wonder they call it Spring fever, cuz right now I'm suffering from the Winter flu.

3. Every thing seems better when you are on vacation. The grass is greener, the food tastes better and everything looks better when you step outside your surroundings for a few days and take on another perspective. Even things that annoy the crap out of you don't seem so bad when you are away on vacation.

2. Everything seems better when you come home from vacation. Global crisis is much easier to handle after you've spent two weeks in the Caribbean soaking in the sun. Taking it on the chin from your boss just seems tolerable after you've toured the South of France for a week. Don't you agree?

And the number one reason Why I Need A Fricken Vacation?

1. Cuz I can. Don't be a hater...

Fat Bottomed Girls Got Game

Forget all about today's play-by-play recap of last night's episode of Glee, (which I LOVED) I wanna talk about Fat Bottomed Girls and more important, Lauren Zizes.

Where did this superstar come from?? Lauren Zizes, is a member of the wrestling team at McKinnley high and President of the AV club when Puck offers her "seven minutes of heaven" in the closet if she will join the glee club. Tonite we got to see that super confident in who you are makes you more desirable and that Fat Bottomed Girls got game. She rocked Puck's world in the closet, when she found out that Puck is all talk, there bye putting her in the driver's seat in this cat and mouse game. Now Puck wants more and she's making him beg. And loving every minute of it.

Complete with electric guitar, Puckerman tries to woo his new woman with a rousting rendition of, "Fat Bottomed Girls". Although Lauren looks to be touched by Puck's expression of love songs, she lets him know that song selection is key and that song made her "feel like crap". She then proceeds to torture Puck for the entire episode, standing him up and making him beg for more. My favorite line of the night, "I'm not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct, because I spell woman ZIZES. And I need to be wooed," She's my new hero. A great example of what can be when you believe in who you are. AND that it took a ring pop for her Puckerman to finally win her over. These two are going to be good fun.

Quinn and Finn decide to see if the spark they had been feeling in Sunday's episode could be a flame, but they disappointingly turn into cheaters. Quinn is cheating on Sam and they both know it. Or shall I say they all know it? Because Santana figures it out and drops some lethal mono she picked up in the nurses office from a sick kid. Santana is apparently immune to the sickness as she said, "I've had mono so may times it's turned into stereo" and she kisses Finn in his kissing booth, as to effectively spread the germs and prove her theory about him and Quinn.

Then there's Rachel. Rachel pays for a kiss from Finn at the kissing booth, but gets one on the cheek instead. Finn then gives her a gift he bought her for Christmas, a star necklace, and lovingly tells her to follow her dreams, without a man. He tells her she needs to shine like the star that she is. Rachel later asks a delirious with mono Finn if he felt anything when he kissed Quinn. "Fireworks", was his reply, and we get a great cover by Rachel of Katy Perry's "Firework". Who couldn't see that one coming? Predictable but great, nonetheless.

As for Kurt and The Warblers, I have to give my Download of the Week honors to "Silly Love Songs", by Blaine and The Warblers. Crisp and bright, this cover of the Wings classic played out to the evening's close at Breadsticks where the Glee clubbers, minus Quinn and Finn, were in attendance. A perfect ending to this great Valentines episode. And If you didn't see it coming, Santana and Sam catch a knowing glance at each other, which can only signal trouble.

Fat Bottomed Girl or not, last night's episode got game.