From The Musings Of My Mind

Hemingway I'm not and chances are I'll probably never be, but if there were a time when I needed to call upon the great literary artist's soul, it was never more than now.

I awoke this morning at 4:45am filled with worry.

I have to write my ENTIRE wedding ceremony. More accurately, I have to SCRIPT my entire wedding ceremony, down to the very last second and I just gotta ask myself, HOW THE HECK DID I GET ROPED INTO THAT ONE???

I know how. The second the JP who will be performing the ceremony said,
"I don't really say much of anything other than ,'do you take this person'. So if you want the ceremony to be longer than three minutes, you have to write it yourself."
Oh yeah, Candy, you're a writer, you can do it. Script it? No problem. All those years of sports journalism copy you have written for broadcast?? It should be a piece of cake. What the hell was I thinking?? Writing a script for TV is one thing. Scripting the most important moment of your life is another thing entirely.

So here I am staring at a blank page, my writer's credentials never more paltry than now.

Have any of you done this before? What the hell am I going to do?

I tried brainstorming, the usual catalyst to the floodgates of my mind spewing forth but the best I can come up with is a theme; Love and Family. I have a template for the all-important "do you take" stuff, but everything else I write seems sophomoric and cliche. And I'm all about wow-ing the audience with my glittering prose, just not so much in this case. Cuz it's important and it has to be meaningful.

I need your help bloggers.
Chances are I'm not going to get voted off this wedding script island, so since I'm out here alone I need some inspiration. I'm confident I can handle the personal details but I need some direction, and I want it to be memorable.

Any ideas??

Tuesday's Tale

Stan was dying.

His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:

"I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to", his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Pulling Out The Weeds

A few years ago I was sick with a terrible cold and left to bed for a few days. While channel surfing I discovered this thing on my cable system called On Demand. I quickly realized that I could watch full episodes of TV shows anytime I wanted. While scanning the menu I picked up on a show about a widow with two boys from a wealthy suburb, just in the throws of life after her husband had died. It was called Weeds. It chronicled the life of Nancy Botwin, a California housewife who was left in financial ruin by her husbands demise. Nancy, needing the steady flow of cash that it took to keep her idyllic suburban home running, teamed up with some ordinary people like herself and began running a successful pot dealing operation.

The show had me mesmerized. As you can imagine, being a pot dealer in suburban California, was never quite what it seemed. Nancy got herself into some sticky and dangerous situations and she got herself out of some dangerous and sticky situations. I have watched through 5 seasons of Nancy and her crazy family as they navigate through the life of a drug dealer. Tonite begins Season 6 of Weeds and I can't help wondering what will happen now that seemingly every bad thing that could happen to this crew has already happened. I wonder if the show jumped shark too long ago and I was just too "stoned" by the allure of the plot to notice.

But the show has yet to bore me. As a matter of fact it has done the complete opposite; it has shocked me and left me wanting more. Mary Louise Parker is the herione/villian, to which she plays to perfection, and her boys have grown into little villians in those past 5 years also. I am anxiously awaiting tonite's premier because I can't envision how this season could possibly play out. When we last left the Botwin's, Nancy had married a big Mexican drug cartel, politician man, who would have killed her but for the fact that she was pregnant with his son. So instead of killing her he married her.

Nancy's boys took to the family business like ducks to water. Her oldest boy, Silas, became a pot growing legend, creating his own chronic strain of dope and opened a medicinal marijuana joint only to be strong armed by some dirty cops. Younger brother Shane, we have watched morph from a young, super intelligent child who brilliantly helped the family navigate through a few on the run moments, to a school drug dealing, sex with 2 whore-y girls at once having, teacher threatening, killer. That would be Mr. Killer, because he successfully killed Nancy's nemesis in the season finale of Season 5.

So tonite begins the biggest pot of sh*t stew I have seen this crew in and I'm wondering where it will play out from here. The casting is superb, with Kevin Nealon, Elizabeth Perkins, Justin Kirk and a slew of shifty characters to round it out. If you haven't seen the show I highly recommend you start from the beginning seasons and work your way up to the present. You may find that you are just as enamored as I was. It certainly makes for interesting TV viewing, if nothing else.

I am cautiously optimistic about tonite's premier and looking foreward to getting caught up in the crazy drama of Weeds.

For My Daughter, My Friend

Although the days have passed that I can scoop you up close and keep you from danger, I will always protect you. Today, as you turn Sweet 16, I am proud of the young lady you have become. Beautiful, spirited, intelligent and loving; I am honored to be your mom. I celebrate the beauty of your spirit, your talent, your unique qualities that make you my friend. My daughter.

I marvel at the ease with witch you navigate through a challenge, a problem solver; a critical thinker. No academic challenge has proven too much for you, as your work ethic is exemplary. I stand in awe as you captivate an audience with your smile and the gift that God has given you. I encourage you to keep reaching for every star. Please remember I will be there every step of the way to help you achieve your dreams.

I watch as your friends gravitate towards your positive energy like a magnet while popularity is laid at your feet. Thank you for realizing that popularity really means nothing, except to you allow you to interact with all kinds of different people and that each one has something to teach us.

Thank you for trusting that I know best. I know that the time is coming sooner rather than later, that you will make all of your own decisions, but for now, chances are I've been there and I've done that. Life lessons aren't always easy, but they are necessary. I'm sorry for the mistakes that I have made that have affected you. I would never want you to suffer pain because of my inadequacies, but remember that these challenges will only make you stronger and that your mom is only human.

Today, when you get your permit to drive, please remember that operating a motor vehicle is a serious responsibility. Never forget that or take for granted the fact that because you master almost every challenge that is placed before you with ease, you've got this one. That's some seriously precious cargo you're carrying around in that car and it looks like my days of worry have just begun. NEVER TEXT AND DRIVE. Period. We'll make a pact together.

Today, I celebrate the fact that God graced me with your presence 16 years ago at 11:58 pm. All 6 lbs. 7 oz of you, and my life would never be the same. How little I understood what it meant to be complete till you came into my world. In the most natural way, once I looked at you I understood and from that day on I was complete. My life's work, you are, and I couldn't be prouder.

My daughter, my friend.....My whole world. I love you more than anything.

Happy 16th birthday, baby!

You will always be that little girl cradled in her mom's arms, in my eyes.

The Reluctant Vacation

So I am in York Beach, Maine one our annual summer vacation and it couldn't have come at a worse time. Things at the Daily Dandy headquarters are really heating up due to the pending nuptials, and now is not an ideal time to be gallivanting on the beaches of Maine. BUT when we booked our trip last year, who knew we would be in the throes of a wedding???? My Guy knew, that's who!!!! They say that reluctant vacations always turn out to be the best ones, so I'll let you know. As it stands right now it is only adding stress to my already full plate, but believe me bloggers, I know I am very fortunate and I shall not complain.

Anyway, I'm taking next week off from the bloggersphere and will return on August 16, 2010. In the meantime, I promise to try and fix the problem with my page, but I'm not sure where to start. If you have any advice to help me get rid of the photo bucket error or to find out why my snazzy pink leopard template is not loading shoot me an email. I could use your help.

Take care of yourselves while I'm away and hopefully, when I return, The Daily Dandy will have a brand new look. Or at least my old look...

Showbiz Is A Fickle Bitch

Bet you though we'd be in Hollywood by now??? Nah, I couldn't blog yesterday because I went to the store early and had no Internet all. day. long. I wish we were in Hollywood by now but our experience was nothing short of disappointing at best.

There's Frick outside the BIG audition Tuesday.

So we set out Monday morning on our big adventure with no expectations. We spent the evening before the audition with our friend and her daughter, in West New York, New Jersey, working on Frick's audition song. Frick had a bad cold, from the plane home from Europe, of course, but she was not going to let that deter her. After a neti pot to clear her blocked nasal passages, she was feeling good. AND in showbiz, no one cares about your excuses. There are no excuses. You put up and you shut up.

So at 6:30 in the morning we drove over to the Izod Center in Secaucus, New Jersey. We were greeted my the masses of people waiting outside to get in for their shot at the big time.

See the line up at the top of the picture? The line went all the way around the building. The producers were outside filming spots for the show, with the crowd screaming, "I'm the next American Idol". We checked in at the Check In Tent and were ushered into the line you see here for the Disney Dream Ticket winners, then we were ushered right into the arena. No waiting. They weren't kidding when they said Dream Ticket winners didn't have to wait.

When we got inside we sat right there at the bottom of the picture, where the aluminum rails are in the front row and waited for instructions. The only people who were closer than us were handicapped, and they were right on the floor. As the stadium filled up, the producers brought out resident douche bag Constantine Morulis, Season 6 finalist. He, being from New Jersey, was the best they could muster up and he came out and pumped up the crowd and sang a little.

Horrible picture, sorry but that's him receiving a high five from the producer. This guy was lapping up this particular 15 minutes of fame. Then Ryan came out. Oh, Mr Seacrest. I swear this guy is the Wizard of Oz because I could have swore I heard him on the radio on my way over. Anyway, Ryan came out and told us that this was a "record" crowd and he then shot some spots for the show with the audience.

Again, horrid shots, but you can see that's Seacrest with the mike. He wouldn't stop moving around, so from the distance I was at it was hard to get a good shot. When Ryan was done they brought out tables and what I compare to voting curtains to separate them and began the audition process. Two producers sat at each table and there were about six tables. They called the Dream ticket winners to come down first, and as I told you, we didn't wait AT ALL. Frick was in a line with a bunch of other dream ticket winners and they told us that if they made it past the first round, they would be exiting to the "Bud Light" exit and moving on to the next round. If they didn't make it, it was the end of the road and they would be returning to their seat, with their red audition bracelet cut off.

The top pic is Frick looking a bit nervous just before she had to get into line. The second is of the line forming to audition and the third is Frick in the line. Looks like she made a friend.

You can't see tiny baby girl, but she is right behind the guy in the blue shirt. They broke up the people in the line into groups of 4 people, who would audition together. Believe it or not, Frick's group was in the first booth and they were the VERY FIRST group of the day to audition.

Again, you can't see my baby, but she's there, I swear! They happened to be right in front of me so I could hear the audition. All four of them sounded great, especially the blonde in the white shirt, but sadly none of them made it through.

That's them exiting the booth and then there's Frick, after they cut off her bracelet.

And that was it....We were out of there by 9:15am. We had to laugh, really, cuz it took us longer to get there than the whole audition process. We both agreed it would have sucked a lot worse if we had waited all day, then she been cut. We also wondered if being the first audition of the day put the group at a disadvantage?

In any case, we laughed all the way home and chalked it up to one heck of an experience.

As for you bloggers, I couldn't exactly leave empty handed without something for you guys, now could I?? I managed to catch a few of the freaks we saw just for you.

Yup, I wonder if any of them will get face time when the show comes round.

Frick was fine. She handled the whole thing in stride and I'm really proud of her. It was something to remember, if nothing else.

On The Road Again

So tomorrow is the day...Frick gets her shot at the big time.

We are traveling to New Jersey for the experience to audition for American Idol that Frick is lucky enough to take part in. Read here for all the details on how we ended up auditioning for the show.

We will be staying with the wonderful woman who transferred the ticket to Frick, as she lives not far from the audition site and the two will be working together today on her audition song. Funny how things work out and whatever happens, we connected with a great woman and her family and we couldn't be happier to be going through this together.

I won't be able to blog tomorrow, Tuesday, August 3rd, but will return on Wednesday with all the details. I'm not quite sure how this is going to go down, considering there are no judges left for Frick to see, (if she is fortunate enough to get that far) but something tells me this should be interesting. AND she still has no voice from her return trip home from Europe so who knows what will happen. But we have each other and that's just about all we need.

Keep you fingers crossed bloggers! We're taking this show on the road!!