Friday Funny

My husband and I were sitting at a table at my 20th anniversary school reuinion, and I kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink, as he sat alone at a table. My husband asked: "Do you know him?"

"Yes," I sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God." said my husband. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?"

Happy weekend Bloggers! Make sure you stop and celebrate the moment!

Just Plain Awkward

Evidently pink is the new black...

Oh my..I'm not entirely sure what to say here. Not sure at all.

Janice and her brother always had a "special" bond.

These crazy kids...Love is TRULY blind....

The tire? The belly? The loving stare? Makes you just feel warm all over. Don't it?

Denny never lived down his mullet hair cut from the eighties...

To each his own, I always say. Everyone has the right to "style" their own Senior picture photo shoot.

Athletic, outdoorsy and daring are the best adjectives to describe the Lynch family.

Again, I'm not sure how to describe this family. 

And this is just weird...plain and simple.

Black Mass

The great Johnny Depp is playing Whitey.

The notorious Boston gangster, Whitey Bulger, that is, and the people of Boston are curious. Beside Ben or Matt, I don't think there was a better choice for the elusive gangster. Depp is playing the title role in the movie adaptation of  the book "Black Mass: The True Story of the Unholy alliance between the FBI and the Irish Mob", written by Boston Globe scribes Dick Lehr and Gerard O'Neill. 

If you live in Boston, like I do, you would be hard pressed to find someone who does not know the story of the crimes committed by the Irish Mob for decades and the FBI men who allowed them the breathing room to commit them. It's an interesting story, and a book that I read with rapt attention.  Filming is going on now, and Johhny Depp filmed a scene yesterday In East Boston where he eerily resembled the aging, now incarcerated, legendary Boston gangster.  The scene, shot on the same street where a murder occurred just last week, was shot-quite literally-in Irish Mob fashion. According to the Boston Herald:

"in the scene shot yesterday Whitey/Depp and a couple of his henchmen walk with an unsuspecting victim near the water in Eastie. While Whitey shakes the man’s hand, he is whacked from behind by one of the aforementioned thugs. Whitey walks away and gazes out at the Tobin Bridge while the other two drag the body away."

Hollywood's take on this unbelievable story should be very interesting and the casting of Depp is brilliant. No one can take a character and make him believable, possibly even likeable, like Johnny can. (his portrayal of George Jung in "Blow" still remains one of my favorite Depp roles) Its a true crime story for the crime story lovers in all of us."Black Mass" is a best seller written by two Boston Globe writers who worked the beat and covered the Irish Mob during their horrific reign over the city which ends with the disappearance of Bulger in 1994 when he was tipped off by his FBI handler John Connley that the Feds were going to indite him on racketeering charges. He remained on the lamb for 16 years before being arrested in Santa Barbara, California in mid 2011. Bulger, at one time, was the FBI's most wanted man, right next to Osama Bin Laden.

Now he's getting the Holllywood treatment, albeit on screen only, but I wonder what old Whitey thinks of the casting of himself in his true crime story. These stories are the stuff that legends are made of. Lots of people died at the hands of these hardened criminals, and if justice is to be served, the families of the victims of the horrible crimes will share in the spoils of the movie's box office success. As for the real life cast of characters? Karma has taken care of them. And the rest is up to their maker, when they day comes for them to meet him. 

"Beddy Beddy Sweet..."

Thirty years ago, my brother got married in Puerto Rico and my entire family took the trip to the locale. One of my most vivid memories of while I was there was of a man walking up and down the beach on shore line dragging a little cart. He was saying over and over again, "Beddy sweet pineapple, coconut. Beddy, beddy sweet." He would stop his cart, pull out a huge knife and slice up a pineapple or coconut right there on the beach for you to enjoy. I always loved coconut, even as a child. My mom used to buy us a hairy brown coconut at the supermarket and we would grab the hammer, go out in the garage and smash it. To me, the delicious, white center was the stuff of Gods. Today, any coconut lover has it easy choosing from an array of available products like candy to water to Creme de la Coconut to satisfy a craving. So you can imagine my enthusiasm when I learned that the newest beauty craze has to do with coconuts! Coconut oil is making a huge splash in beauty products and it's actually being touted as a healthy food additive in small amounts. 

While at the store on Sunday, I came across a jar of coconut oil that wasn't exactly what I expected. It was a white solid, lard looking type of substance that didn't move. Still, I bought the $8.00 jar with high hopes for my newest beauty secret. I was not disappointed! When I opened the jar, I found the solid mass to be like a butter that emulsified immediately into an oil upon my touch. To my delight, as I applied the oil to my arms and legs, it soaked into my skin leaving hardly any oily residue and gave the skin on my body a supple sofness. It passed my first litmus test for a body oil easily, and the light, natural scent of coconut gave me a love for this product. The scent, nothing like the man made, "tropical" coconut scents you find in beach/sun products is actually a very light coconut scent and not  long lasting. The hydration it delivers is another story. 

I have heard about the benefits of "oil pulling", a technique where the user swishes coconut oil in their mouth for 20 minutes. It can get rid of bacteria and fungus in the mouth and whiten the teeth, but I have yet to try it. I am still in awe over the multiple ways my little "miracle in a jar" can help me in my everyday beauty regimine. 

Its a great eye makeup remover.

An anti-aging face and body moisturizer.

Great for hair! Use on the ends to condition and smooth split ends. It also reduces frizz.

Used on the scalp as a treatment to prevent dandruff.

It can be used during pregnancy and may help to prevent stretch marks.

Ingested, it has been suggested it boosts metabolism and can aid in weight loss.

It is a natural deodorant!

Cures chapped lips.

Used daily it can reduce the appearance of cellulite.

I can't tell you how cuckoo for coconut oil I have become! Give it a try yourself and you will see. While I won't be chanting up and down the shore of the beach any time soon, I will say that this whole coconut oil experience has been "beddy, beddy sweet" indeed.

Taco Bell

Tonight is taco night in our house.

The thing about taco night is you think about it all day long until the time comes to bite into the juicy, meaty concoction. Nothing says lovin' like a spicy, delicious taco. My kids love to stuff theirs with all their favorites and My Guy has come to like them too. 

We make two different kinds in our house: chicken and beef and we serve lots of delicious fixins'. I buy the Gordita Kit from Old El Paso and season the chicken from the recipe on the box. I may or may not add diced onion and use chicken broth instead of water when I cook the chicken. But when it comes to the taco meat, my kids like it just the way the taco Gods intended; plain and spicy. We always have two kinds of "shells": soft and hard. Frick likes hard shell and My Guy likes soft shell. I like to use a lettuce wrap for my "shell".

The toppers are crucial in my house. We dice tomato, (has to be super small) shred lettuce, and of course shredded Mexican cheese. We also crush nacho cheese Doritos to sprinkle on top, sour cream guacamole and salsa, and recently we discovered a spicy Chipotle Ranch dressing that is a fantastic taco topper and now a staple on our taco night. 

The last constant on our taco night is unconventional and started out as a bit of an accident, but it is always there. We make couscous. Sometimes the couscous goes on top of theTaco and sometimes it's a side dish, but it's a constant on our dinner table on taco night. It's a great way to get my family together at the dinner table, which is becoming increasingly difficult these days. For that, I am grateful.

Is it dinner time yet? Suddenly I'm really hungry. 

It's A Mad, Mad, World

I was just thinking about this Jerry Springer world we live in. Maybe Jerry had it right when at the end of each episode he gave his Final Thought on the madness of human nature. Jerry certainly made plenty of money on other people's madness, so I guess his Final Thought was his chance to try to explain away bad behavior.

Case in point: Solange, Beyonce and Jay-Z in the elevator. If you haven't seen it the video, leaked to TMZ, you can find it here. Personally I feel that this was a horrifying breach of privacy on every front. In the name of proper journalism, I share the link, but I don't really endorse it. Like Kelly Ripa said this morning, "Good Lord, that is our house every Thanksgiving." Yes. Almost all of us can admit to one or several moments of craziness like the elevator incident and it lucky for us that we don't have to have it play out in the national media.

Families fight. It's a fact and now we know that celebrity families fight. Celebrities are just like us, except they can be assured that their privacy is not guaranteed and that would seem to be a double edged sword. What about the insane fall out from the Donald Sterling debacle? While it's true that the man is more certain than not a racist, the taped conversation (coincidentally leaked to TMZ also) while unbelievable- is almost unfair because he was supposedly taped without his knowledge. On the contrary, the comments he made to Anderson Cooper of CNN in response to the public outcry tell us quite a bit about Mr. Sterling the person, and that day he had full knowledge that he was being taped. The Cooper incident confirms his small mindedness and unapologetic manner, but his ignorance does not make it OK to lure someone into a potentially damaging situation for personal gain.

Yet the fallout leaves us fascinated. We wonder why Solange went all "Jean-Claude Van Damme" on Jay-Z and it's precisely that which sells magazines, gets us web site hits and keeps us coming back for more. Fair or not, the tapes are out there and they are real and nothing can change that. Why should we even have privacy laws when they can do nothing to protect someone from the likes of a TMZ.com? The fact that TMZ will pay handsomely for video, audio or any other incredible display of bad behavior puts all of us in jeopardy. Even everyday people who have no celebrity can fall victim to the world seeing them, warts and all, on an "America's Funniest Home Videos", YouTube or Vine. The possibility of going viral today is all too real.

It's truly a mad mad world....and try as I might I can't explain it away. I guess it's just my Final Though on that subject.

My Guy's Making Time

My Guy and I set off on Friday for a fun filled weekend in NYC with Frick. She was performing her "final exam" project Saturday night (which was amazing). I was excited to spend a great Mother's Day weekend in the city with my favorite daughter. All week My Guy and I talked about the time of departure on Friday. We were set to leave around 11AM, so around 10:15AM that morning My Guy started stressing about "making good time" and beating the afternoon traffic.

It's a funny thing. Why is it that men worry about "making good time?"

The ride, door to door from my MA home to NYC is usually about 4 or 4.5 hours. In the 2 years that Frick has been in college in the city, My Guy found this easy, non-traffic-ed way that usually takes about 3 hours. Amazing right? But one can never predict the traffic, road patterns and obstructions. Here's my take: What does it matter what time we get there? We didn't have an appointment. We wouldn't be seeing Frick until about 4PM that day and leaving at 11 gave us more than enough time to make it with some to spare. Yet My Guy poured furiously over his GPS trying to calculate his route and predict what we would find along the way.

"It's all about making good time," I teased My Guy. "It's about proper road management," he replied. The ride took us about 4 and a half hours total, with a 20-30 min stop for lunch. And yes...we hit traffic. Lots of it in some areas, but not enough to make for a major delay, so I'm not sure that would qualify in My Guy's top ten "making good time" rides. I say who cares? It's adorable and strange at the same time but I'm left to wonder is this a man vs woman thing?

"Making good time" for a guy is like scoring bragging rights. It's a male equivalent to "sticking it to the man" and somewhat like a mobile version of a free lunch. Why is that boys? If I had to venture to guess, I would say women worry more about what to pack for the trip than getting there in record time. Guys? It would seem to be all about getting there quick and navigating a Houdini route that will ensure less time traveled. Don't get me wrong, I like getting to my final destination in record time, but my stress is much more about whether or not I need the black Louboutin strappy pumps or whether I really need the two different face bronzers that I cannot seem to part with. If we were traveling under a time constraint of some sort, I could justify the stress and the strategy, but we weren't.

What do you got to say for your yourself fellas? Be honest.

Mom's Rock

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.

Happy Mothers Day Bloggers! Mom-thanks for all the lessons you taught me! I Love you.

On Love And Loss

It's come my attention lately that I have issues....

I know what you're thinking. Candy? Issues? Yes, (lol) Candy has issues. Shocker, right? Some of these I didn't realize I had until I was put into a situation that triggered a response I didn't feel comfortable with. The issues I talk about have to do with love and loss and I admit to having had my fair share of both. I truly believe you can't have one without the other, so the smart ones calculate risk vs reward when entering into love.

Was I smart? Was I stupid? Looking back I think I was both. But I now know that I got "snookered" by deception. Where was the integrity? I now know there was none. Where was the trust? That went out the door with the lies and the rest remain blurry and fuzzy...like the memories of that love I repress. Truth? Are you kidding me? Truth is for the strong who have the integrity to trust in themselves. As I said before the deception in my life had none of those.

I was lucky though...
I found love again. It restored my faith in truth, integrity and trust and it feels great! But I now know that deception lays in wait for me, lurking in the dark alleys of my soul, ready to pounce when I am most vulnerable. I'm mot afraid though because the love I found is bountiful! This love has restored my faith in myself and this love will never leave me. How do I know? Because this is my love.

I love me more.

And that's the best love of all.

The Color Of Rosemary

So the people over at Julep Nail polish asked me to participate in a "fun blogging campaign" for Mother's Day.  The email, from the Community  Outreach Coordinator read as follows: 

"We’re asking great bloggers like you to participate by writing a post about which color best represents the members of your family. Whether you chose to write about your own mother or your children, we want to know what color represents each of them best in your eyes."

I'm thinking they are very smart to ask me because this topic represents two of my favorite things; my mother and beauty products. Inspired, I began thinking about this task all morning and I brainstormed to come up with the words for the color that best represents my mom. Her name is Rosemary. She is also known as Rose or Rosie so its only fitting that the color red comes to mind. 

Red is fiery and passionate like my mom. Those who know her best would describe her as a straight shooter, a pistol with a sharp mind and tongue and OH BOY does she know how to use it. Yes, red is definitely part of my moms personality, but when I got started brainstorming I found that there was so much more than red to the color of Rosemary. 

My mom is solid. My mom is elegant, physically beautiful, vibrant and funny. I'll add in a dash of the shocking things she sometimes says and the sparkle in her eyes. Suddenly there's a new color emerging. She's sweet but tart and loving and kind. Rich in many things, my mother, her colorful personality is what attracts us to her like the moth to the flame.  Her pride and joy are her 5children. "my five fingers" she says, "I can't function without my five fingers." Her loyalty is ever lasting which makes her dependable so The Color of Rosemary needs to be chip resistant and gorgeous. 

When I add all of that to the color red, I see a deep, rich, bold color emerging. A hot pink Fuschia like no other. A pink for the ages with a flat, but bold shine. 

Yes, The Color of Rosemary definitely stands out among the crowd. 

Mexican Rage

The last time I drank tequila I swore I was roofied! 

Happy Cinco de Mayo and please drink tequila responsibly.