Friday, May 9, 2014

Mom's Rock

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.

Happy Mothers Day Bloggers! Mom-thanks for all the lessons you taught me! I Love you.


the walking man said...

Jaysus Candace, are we long lost siblings? I heard every one of those oh so witty aphorisms from my mom too. I'm must have been a good child, I never needed the clean underwear though I wore it, never lost any toes, and oh yes the anticipation...Have a wonderful tribute day Candace. May your children grow to understand mom's wisdom.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'm considering borrowing that for a Facebook post.

My mom was good at warning you not to do things that everyone knows you shouldn't do.

"Don't fall!"

"Don't crash!"

"Don't get lost!"

Very obvious stuff like that. She shows her love through worrying.