Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Getting Old's A Bi*ch

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.

The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.”

The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, “But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”
The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”



the walking man said...

ha ha ha ha Been there a few times myself and not after going to the bar either!

MarkD60 said...

A beautiful, 18 year old stripper-prostitute married a 95 year old billionaire. Her plan was to screw him to death on their wedding night, then she's be the billionaire.
They got married and went to the hotel. He went into the bathroom and she got naked on the bed.
A few minutes later, the old man comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but earmuffs, noseplugs, and a condom on a 12 inch erection.
He said "there's two things I can't stand, the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber"

Heff said...

MarkD60 - did you REALLY have to cut on Anna Nicole Smith like that ? lol.

SkylersDad said...

Good one!