How shocking.
Not really. Super talented, supremely troubled Amy lost her battle with her inner demons. To say that this was a tragedy waiting to happen is an understatement, but it got me to thinking about what it must be like to be addicted to a substance that can destroy you. Or substances that put your psyche in another dimension.
Addiction? I know a thing or two about it. I was addicted to nicotine for more than a long time and happy to have won that battle somewhat. But addicted to a mind altering substance is something I can't relate to. Or can I?
In Amy's case, it goes way beyond how it makes you feel because it's more about the physical dependency. I get that. But how bad must it be when chemicals are not pumping through the veins of an addict? Hey, like getting buzzed on a Friday night just as much as the next guy, and I am lucky that something in my brain tells me it's time to stop. Physically I can't continue. My body rejects whatever it is that is causing me discomfort and it immediately rejects it. But what does the addict have that tells them to keep going? Why does their body need it and how do they stop it?
I don't really know why this one really hit me and made me think about addiction, but it did. Another life, taken much too early and another great voice silenced by addiction.
How shocking.
Not really...
9 comments:
I never liked her. She has been circling the drain for quite some time now, or had been.
Fucking men.
Well, I loved her - her voice. She definitely had a voice.
I am so grateful, that even though I chose to party and snort/ smoke/ ingest many illegal substances so many years ago, that I never really got hooked on anything. It may have seemed like it at the time, but I always knew I didn't *need* it. Plus, I stayed away fro heroin and meth- I'm not even sure I knew about crack back then. Either way, yay for me!
And sucks for her. RIP Amy Winehouse.
Sad, but not surprising.
I have two of her CDs. Which I think is about all that she released over hear. Reminds me of Chris Farley. Sad, but not surprised.
Unfortunately I can relate. And it does suck. When those voices are screaming in your head even death feels like it would be a vacation. It’s just a nightmare reality that so many people have to go through. The world, and America especially, has to start putting the money aside and treating this disease for what it is.
I had a similar post on addiction but it was when my coffee pot broke and I freaked out that we had to rush out right away to get a new one. Heaven forbid I go without coffee....
I feel that Amy Winehouse was screaming for help and didn't get any. I have absolutely no respect for her parents who really had no respect for her. How could you let your child, regardless of age, do this?
"But what does the addict have that tells them to keep going?" - now there's an interesting question...
To preface what I say here, I was an alcoholic for about 25 years, I didn't realise for at least the first 5, was a worried problem drinker for the next 5 and then between a reluctant but acknowledging alcoholic or a completely in denial alcoholic for the remainder.
Pretty much every time I picked up a glass the initial thought was always - "I'll just have one or two, just enough to take the edge off the day, to relax my mind and emotions so that I feel ok". Seems reasonable enough but pretty much every time / day that ended up some point further down the line with thoughts like "Holy Cow - why have I had too many, I'll just have another, I'll try to control it better tomorrow" etc.
The answer eventually for me was that if I have one drink I have to have more, and more, and more... 1 is too many 100 never enough.
Now I have heard people say "Oh I start to stop when I feel a bit odd"... STOP!!! STOP!!!! That's when you really get going, you drink through that feeling that your body gives you telling you that you are poisoning yourself, push on because the other side is that state of numbness from the world, your emotions, ultimately from yourself. That is where you now really want to get to.
So "...what does the addict have that tells them to keep going?" simplistically it is the addiction itself, that automatic impulse and craving once the system has been fuelled that you have to keep on going...
That probably makes no sense to anyone except me but one of the first things for me to accept as an alcoholic was that I was indeed simply insane.
@Joker - don't blame the parents please, don't blame anyone - read my blog at http://guitarsandlife.blogspot.com/2011/07/outside-view-of-addiction.html for my views on that.
As an addict I know it was never ever the parents fault.
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