Ben Stiller Is A Funny Dude

Saturday night we were having a rousting debate over which Ben Stiller movie is the funniest. We had just finished watching 2007's Farelley brother movie, "The Heartbreak Kid". While I thought the movie was funny, I didn't think it was one of Ben's best and a debate ensued. It would seem that in the last decade, Ben Stiller has emerged as an everyman, funnyman and as such, he has appeared in some of the best known comedies in recent history.

I did a little research and sure enough, this is a topic that has been hotly debated on the internets. I found many lists ranking Stiller's movies from best to worst; problem is I don't agree with any of them. Here's why.

The majority of lists top with the number one movie as:

Zoolander- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Derek Zoolander, a self absorbed male model who begins to question his shallow existence as finds himself suddenly "out of favor" in the fashion world, replaced by a younger modeling rival, played by Owen Wilson. Personally, I think this movie was RIDICULOUS, over-acted and insanely silly, (like almost all Ben Stiller movies, which is undoubtedly the point). The positive on this one is that I did manage to get through the entire movie. Just barely, but not without thinking that was two hours of my life that I wanted back. His greatest movie ever??? That shit is just whack.

There's Something About Mary- This is one I whole-heartily agree with and this would most certainly be second on my list as well. Classic, hilarious with a great supporting cast, Matt Dillon has always been a douchebag, but who knew he could perfect his douchebaggery in this movie. The icing on the cake: Brett Favre and the entire cast's rendition of "Build me up Buttercup" during the credits.

Tropic Thunder-A great comedic film, but I would say it was Robert Downey Jr. AND Tom Cruise that stole the show here. I may even go out on a limb and say that Tom Cruise's surprise role provided me with far more laughs than any other, rendering him the effective show stealer. A true ensemble cast effort, Stiller was good but I wouldn't say this was his 3rd best starring vehicle.

Meet The Parents- Personally, I would place this movie somewhere in the top three, as Stiller's somewhat goofy straight man played perfectly to Robert Di Nero's off kilter-ex CIA agent soon to be father-in-law. Meet The Fockers- was great as well, but I think Hollywood missed the boat with a spin off on Streisand and Hoffman's performances as Stiller's aging hippie parents. They were Jewish comedy gold.

Along Came Polly- This gets my vote for #1 top Ben Stiller movie. Two reasons: Ben Stiller and Phillip Seymor Hoffman. The shart scene alone is worth the price of admission, and the scene on the basketball court with Hoffman. Add to the equation, Alec Baldwin as his creepy, Jersey accented, foul mouthed, inappropriate boss and Hank Azaira as a hilariously accented scuba instructor who steals his wife on his honeymoon. Aniston plays spacey, flighty Polly who somehow manages to bring Stiller's wound up tight, Ruben back down to earth. The tug on my heartstrings and the fully belly laughs produced by this movie renders this Stiller vehicle my favorite.

Dodgeball- Again, a waste of two hours of my life, but Vince Vaughn's sarcastic humor saved face. Stiller?? Redonkulous.... along with a lovable cast of goofballs you end up cheering for. The best thing about Stiller here; his finely chiseled pipes. Not bad for a pukey little skinny man.

While there are many others to choose from, lets continue the debate here. What's your favorite Stiller movie?

Today's Special: A Daily Dandy Milestone

367 days later.

So much to say...So many wonderful listeners.

I started for my myself, now I share it with you, daily.

Thank you for your loyalty, your love, your humor and for making a year in the bloggersphere one of the truly great experiences of my life.

Here's to never NOT having anything to say and to the people who say it with you.....

Thank you bloggers.

Golf Is Good

I'm already off and running today, I've taken my son to his last golf tourney of the season. And since things have been kinda black around here this week, this should lighten up the mood a bit.

Just thought I'd leave you with this. It's NSFW!!! So beware.

The Lion No Longer Roars

Senator Edward Kennedy died last night at the age of 77.

"We've lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever," his family said.
It's been a tough few weeks for the Kennedy clan. The latest of Joe and Rose Kennedy's children to pass, Ted and his sister Eunice, who died less than a few weeks ago, leave a legacy of public service and political fortitude like no other family in political history.

At a time when health care is at the forefront of the President's political agenda, Ted Kennedy's passing calls to mind his efforts in the health care arena. His name adorns almost every piece of legislation for the advancement of health for Americans in the past five decades. There are those who now speculate what the impact of Sen. Kennedy's absence from the Senate floor will have on President Obama's health care proposals. A tireless advocate for civil rights and welfare rights, Senator Kennedy fought for the advancement of the people of America and his constituency.

Diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in May of 2008, Ted silenced the doctors and critics when her returned to work at the Senate not long after stringent radiation and chemotherapy treatments. He lived almost a year to the day of his address at the 2008 Democratic National Convention where he spoke of his ilness and Obama's message of hope. There was still work to be done, and as long as Teddy could handle it, he wanted to continue on with his life's work.

Ted Kennedy was certainly not without controversy. He took his Senate seat in 1962, a seat that was vacated by his brother John when he was elected to the higher office of the President, and never quite realized his own political goal of high office. The fate of Senator Kennedy and high office was pretty much sealed with the 1969 Chappaquiddick scandal. We may never know what truly happened in that auto accident that left a young woman dead, but Senator Kennedy was never able to truly atone politically for the tragedy.

As a Massachusetts resident, I cannot help but mourn the loss of our own son, public servant, and advocate of the people. I may not have agreed with his political agenda at times, but I recognize that today, the world has lost a great one. The last surviving son of a family of political giants, bred to wield the power of elected office. They say he was the last of the natural politicians. In this country, I would venture to say that the Kennedy family were the closest thing we had to royalty. To the people of this largely Irish-Catholic commonwealth, Ted Kennedy was our Elvis. He may not have been cannonized as a Saint, but we adored him and respected what he represented and from where he came.

The Lion may have been silenced, but the word passing around the internets today somehow sum up Senator Kennedy's legacy and how his voice will still be heard; "In lieu of flowers, pass health care."

Fiddle Dee Dee

I love me some Scarlett O'Hara.

She's such a bitch, it's hard to find another that comes close to her perfection. Scarlett is the woman every woman wants to be in some way, but doesn't have the balls to be. While I realize that Scarlett O'Hara is a fictional character, Vivien Leigh's indelible portrayal of her in the movie, will forever render Scarlett a woman of flesh and substance. And supreme bitch-itutde.

Selfish, gorgeous, cunning and strong, Miss Scarlett reigns supreme. Just look at her. I gain strength from the legend that is Scarlett O'Hara. Adored by the men who love her, repulsed by their faults and insecurities, she had room in her ice-cold heart for only herself and for the life she begrudgingly watched slip away, a casualty of the war and the politics she had no control over. She dug in her heels and stayed true to the only thing that protected her. Her strength.

I often ask myself, "What Would Scarlett Do?", but I know the answer before I even ask the question. Miss Scarlett knew she had power. Her beauty and self centered courage gave her an aura of indestructible. If Rhett didn't give a damn, you can bet Scarlett didn't either, and at the end of the epic film you knew Miss Scarlett would get her man back. She was just the man for the job. Only a cold-hearted snake like she would rise from the Phoenix's ashes.

She wasted a near lifetime yearning for the love of a man who represented something she despised, weakness. She befriended his long suffering wife who was the complete opposite of what Scarlett stood for, yet she remained loyal to Melanie against her true desires , somehow knowing that she made her a better woman. Melanie gave her credibility, in world that valued honor and pomp, something Scarlett knew nor cared anything about. Scarlett was only interested in her own self advancement.

Then along came her nemesis, the one person who understood her and gave her even more power. Rhett Butler was the one man who could give Scarlett the world, wrapped up in a pretty hat-box, and she took everything he offered hungrily, without thinking of consequences. And somewhere along the way she realized that there was no other for her. By then it was too late. Fiddle dee dee, you think that bothered Miss Scarlett?? Think again. If fiction can be true than you can bet that the sublime creature that is Scarlett O'Hara got her man back. There is power in passion and beauty, a blacker than black truth.

"If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill, as God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again," she said outside the destroyed land of her beloved Tara.

Nor will I Miss Scarlett, nor will I.

It's All In The Curl Of The Tail

That there's my little Pug, Jingle. She's the cutest little thing in the world but she has a disobedient streak. If Jingle's decides she's not listening to you, then guess what?, she's not listening to you. You might as well be invisible, because she's going to do what she wants anyway. Jingles is easy to read. When she's happy and feeling good, she's jumping around and perky from the top of her snout right down to the curl of her tail. But if she's not good, you can tell right away. She is lethargic an lazy. The biggest indicator of Miss Jingles mood is her curly little tail. When it is not curly at the top of her back as it should be, it is hanging down limply behind her legs and you can be sure that something is not right.

I equate this to the expression, "wearing your heart on your sleeve" and Jingles and I share this common trait. I guess you could say that if I'm not right, you can tell by the curl of my tail. Most of the time I'm not even aware of the fact that my unfurled tail is apparent to the ouside world, but it would seem that everyone around me is. I'm a lousy liar. I can swear to your face that everything is fine, that I am great and without worry, but the "curl of my tail" tells a completely different story.

Much like Jingle, I have days when my tail is perfectly looped and proudly sitting on my back like a peacock's plume of feathers. My positive energy is palpable, infectious almost, and I plow through my day making miracles happen. Then there are days that the curl just isn't in the tail, and try as I might, I cannot hide it. The curl of my tail betrays me. You see, I'm a thinker. I need to think a situation through before I take action and when something weighs heavy on my mind, I find it hard to hold my tail up high. Eventually I get through it, but the tail is the indicator.

Today the tail is curled and sits in it's proper place and all is as it should be. Even if it isn't, today my tail will not reveal me to the world.

See You In The Funny Pages

John was lonely. He decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug),which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box home, found a good location for the box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?"

Silence; there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, so he waited a few minutes and then asked him again,"How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?"

Again, there was no answer, nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet. So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

He decided to ask him one more time. This time,putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting,

'Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a beer with me?'

Finally, a little voice came out of the box that said, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my fucking shoes on!"

I'm BAraCk, Baby!

Dear World,

HA! I'm back, and it feels good. Oh, I know what you were thinking. You were thinking I was a has-been, out dated and "done". That my status as a prime contender to lure the heavy weights was soooo over.

Well, allow me to correct you with a smug little smile. Who's you're daddy now?? And lets make no mistake here, I am soooo back!! Yes, this Sunday begins the worldwide spotlight shining right down on my heavenly little ass, complete with a major player. And I mean MAJOR.

No need for me to name drop here, because soon enough you'll be calling "my people" to even get a meeting with me. CNN, Fox News, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, even that blow-hard Bill O'Reilly's coming to see me and to see The Big Guy. As you know, I've been here before. Yup, back in the good ole days me and Bill, we were like peas and carrots. That's when the world decided I was their sweet heart and everybody put me on the map. And I didn't disappoint, so I'm primed and ready to show the world who I am and what I've got. AGAIN!! Whoo Hoo!

Shit, I'm so chic right now that chic actually called my agent, who called my manager, who called my assistant who explained that Ms. Martha would have to get back to her....If she has time.....If she can.....Is it possible to fit you in sometime next February? Yeah, that's the kind of clout I'm talking about!

I'm so liberal that those Dems and Hollywood types are clamouring to get "all up on me" and bask in my glory. And spend their money. And throw parties for Him. And throw the spotlight on my deserving little Rock. Just like the good ole days. CHA CHING! Ooops, did I write that out loud. Sorry, my bad.

I'll just call the past eight years a rejuvenation period-a time for me to reflect, meditate and contemplate my spiritual journey. I've had a few cosmetic surgeries since then and I am looking as good as those hot, Hollywood actresses that walk my beaches, only better. Oh Jackie, are you up there watching me??? I hope you're proud.

So let this be a lesson to you people. Like they say, ain't nothing over till the fat lady sings!!!

She sang at the inauguration and as far as I know, Aretha is not scheduled to perform any where within my 10 mile by 20 mile ass, so ain't nothing over here. Yeah!

Starting next week, my future's so bright, you gotta wear shades, bitches. Oh, and make sure they are Dior, Chanel or Tom Ford. You wouldn't want to stick out like a sore thumb now, would you???

Love and Hope,

Martha

The LONG Talker

How do you politely tell someone that they are F-ING driving you nuts? I guess you could consider this a rant, but really it's a plea for help because I seem to get caught in this situation ALL. THE. TIME.

Here's the straight poop: I had a meeting yesterday with a gentleman that is considered an expert in his industry, to help me complete a project that will hopefully set me on the path to future, gainful, self-employment. He and I hit it off immediately. Since the project I am working on is extremely creative and visual, I was more than pleased that at least three of his ideas were ideas that I also had, and was able to back this fact up with physical proof and action.

Needless to say, we were in sync and hitting a creative groove. The problem was getting any rhythm to this groove because he would interrupt his thoughts by sharing a personal story, that was not only long winded, but time consuming and exhausting, thereby throwing us off the creative point at issue. A meeting (that I am paying for) that should have taken an hour and a half at best, turned into a three and a half hour torture session with The LONG Talker.

In his defense, I think he liked me, (as a potential client) and was motivated by the fact that my idea is somewhat exciting and shows potential. Couple that with the fact that we both were sharing a vision, and he possibly felt a kindred connection of some kind with me, hence the LONG talk. I, too, felt the kindred, professional connection, and was motivated by the fact that I am moving in a positive direction, but The LONG Talk just about killed me.

As I stated, I have been in this situation before, but not on my dime. As a make-up artist working in the industry for the past few years, I always came across The LONG Talkers who sat in my chair. I am like the flame to their moth. I can liken the job to that of a bartender, when you strip people of their make-up, their "defense" against the world, all the barriers fall and their vulnerabilities take the shape of conversation and people start sharing personal stuff that you would not believe. This is by no means a complaint, but a simple fact that I would say goes along with the territory.

I just don't know how or when to cut the LONG'ies off politely. In the make-up chair, it can be tricky because it consumes time, thereby taking me off the floor for the next potential client, but necessary for this client, so to ensure that I have done my job correctly. The LONG Talk somehow always manages to fuck things up. We have a code term for LONG talkers, we say, I had a "life sucker", meaning that client literally sucked the life out of me, because that's what happens. That's exactly what happened yesterday. I walked away feeling physically depleted and uncertain of anything we had just discussed.

In my personal life, I am nice to a fault, and since things are now on my financial terms, I need to learn to strategize my dealings with this man, whom I respect and like, so that the positive, creative life is not sucked right out of me. It looks good on paper, but put me in the situation, and I find myself stuck engaging in LONG talk that deems my professional goal somewhat futile. I have to find the happy medium between the LONG and SHORT of it and somehow keep SHORT the LONG talk.

The Dinner Exchange Program

I never understood the "Dinner Exchange Program". The way I see it there are two schools of thought on this one.

• You ordered it-you eat it. (unless it's either cold or in-edible)
• You pay so have it your way.

I tend to lean towards the former. You are at a restaurant, you ordered it, so you're pretty much stuck with it. If you don't LIKE your dinner choice, that's just tough titties. If your dinner choice is not presented the way it was described, then you have the right to complain. Otherwise all bets are off the table, so to speak.

Then there are the "sender backers". You've either dined with these people or you are one. I have even swapped meals with a "sender backer", as to avoid an uncomfortable exchange with the waiter or the restaurant. I just don't see what good can come out of a barrage of complaints between a diner and the waitstaff. A comped entree or entire dinner? I say it's not worth it and if that's the goal of the outing, then stay home. Granted, there are millions of eating establishments where you, the diner, are just a number. The whole idea is to get them in and get them out, turnover is more important than quality of service. Those places never last and I try not to chose them as a dining destination. You live, you learn.

So what's up with the "sending your dinner back" thing? The only thing an eating establishment can promise and deliver is a HOT meal. Your culinary tastes are your own and if you deem the dish not suited to your tastes, I think it is your fault for choosing it, or the restaurant's for producing it. I would never send back my entree because I did not "like" it. I would simply never choose the entree, or the restaurant again, and problem solve by indulging my hunger in dessert. Chances are slim they can screw up chocolate ice cream.

Yet there are those one can never satisfy when it comes to fine dining. The meal is sent back to the kitchen for whatever reason; the meat was not cooked properly, it lacks in flavor, or it's not what one thought they were ordering. Immediately the sanctity of the meal is placed in jeopardy. The other diners at the table now feel the need to scramble or worse, wait until all of the entree's are placed in front of each diner. Usually, the "sender backer" ends up eating alone, while the rest of the party is having coffee or an after dinner drink that they didn't want in the first place. Nobody wins.

I say shut up and put up, or better yet, let your flying fork do the work for you. After all, sharing is caring and if you are dining with someone who dosen't mind, two forks in one dish are better than none. If the dining experience is not what you anticipated, then don't make the same mistake twice and you don't go back. Lesson learned. In the end, I think The Dinner Exchange Program does more harm than good.

Back To Business

*heavy sigh*

Back to business as usual.

• Thank goodness the summer has finally arrived here in the East, because its about time. At least we will have one month of a warm summer. Lucky us!


• IHop announces that kids eat free for a MONTH. Too bad I haven't seen an IHop in my area since 1977.


• Tiger Woods-defeated for the first time in nine years in a major tournament when leading the field. If you're Y.E. Yang today, life is good.....


• Did you see the picture of the couple with the squirrel? Of course the skeptics are questioning the authenticity of the shot, but OMG, is that squirrel the cutest thing you have ever seen?? He could be the next Susan Boyle of the critter world.


• We are just a few short weeks away from the start of the NFL season. Thank you JESUS. I still need to sign up for Fantasy Football. I figure we will engage in Fantasy Football Friday's here on The Dandy. Whatcha think?


• I'm in NYC for the International Gift Show for one day today. Keep your little fingers crossed that I get done everything that I need to do in one day. Thanks.


• We ate at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill last night after I got off the train. Let's just say while the food was good, mine was cold (and I'm NOT a "sender backer") but had to send back my entree, because it was that cold. Then they comped us dessert, which was a heavenly coconut cake, then took a ridiculously long time getting us the check. It ruined the entire night.


• Speaking of "food sender backers", I think we will discuss this topic in depth tomorrow.

Yup, it seems to be business as usual today. I'll check in later bloggers!

Heading Out Of Dodge

Today marks the highlight of the summer over at the Daily Dandy headquarters, as we embark on our yearly tradition of a glorious week in York Beach, Maine. Since I don't know how to set up that automatic post robot thingie, I will be out of the bloggersphere starting today, Aug 7, 2009 and will return Monday, August 17th.

I cannot tell you how much we love this place. It is a kid's dream land. Beach, arcade, mini-golf, amusement park, zoo, shopping, and of course, The Goldenrod, all within 500 feet of each other.

The Goldenrod is the place in the picture above, where they make old fashioned salt water taffy in the windows for all to see. You can even smell the molasses as you walk by. They make chocolates and candy and serve ice cream at an old fashioned, fountian style counter. The Goldenrod is also a quaint little luncheonette, where breakfast, lunch and dinner is served. My son is OBSESSED with the Goldenrod. He would eat all three squares there, if I let him. The G-Rod is our every morning breakfast destination and we negotiate the other meals at other places throught our wonderful week.

And I am soooo ready to get the heck outta Dodge! Thank goodness for vacations!!!

Peace and have a great week bloggers!

Daily Dandy OUT!

RANTalicious

Get ready for a rant, because nothing pisses me off more than wasted real estate in my morning paper.

That there's Daphne Zuniga, of "Melrose Place" fame with her 8 year-old niece, who is serving up ice cream right here in my very home town. Seems she is family of the owners of Cedar Hill Dairy Joy where I live and stopped bye yesterday to work at the Dairy Joy, as it's known here by the locals.

Now I ask you, WHO CARES???

Who is this woman and what has she done since the mid-90's in the world? Yet she still gets credited with the of "Melrose Place" fame tag. She gets a headline story in the local papers and a mention and photo in the Boston papers in the gossip column. WHAT GIVES??

Why is this crap important?? It's not like she donated her day's earnings to a local food shelter or handed out free cones to underprivileged kiddies. Does her presence at the Dairy Joy make the world a better place? Does this use her pseudo-"celebrity" to bring attention to worthy cause or equate with some fun community service?

NO.

The only service she is doing here is for herself and her family, which is fine by me, but does it have to be in my news paper? The thing is, The Dairy Joy does not NEED any charity from "pseudo-celebs" because everything there is RIDICULOUSLY priced, even if it is ridiculously good. They have some seriously good fried clams, and ouch, at $15 bucks for a small box, you somehow justify the price for the deliciousness. For around $20 bucks you can get a lobster roll and cones run from about $4 bucks to $6 bucks, depending on the size. The big joke in town is that you had better bring your wallet if you are eating at Dairy Joy.

Couldn't Ms. Zuniga's "photo-op" have been better served if she partnered with Dairy Joy to bring some charity to the community. Lord knows this town does not need it, but a large, neighboring city, which has lots of shelters and agencies for less fortunate people, could have been better served by a little press and a feel good ice cream-op to bring it's issue into the spotlight. In all fairness, Zuniga did talk about her involvement with Communities for a Better Environment which is an organization committed to "environmental health and justice by building grassroots power in and with communities of color and working-class communities." But where is the action I speak about? It would seem this was more about Zuniga promoting her return to CW's new Melrose Place and her reprising of her role of Jo Reynolds on said show, which premiers Sept 8.

I don't get why this is newsworthy. Does one or two Lifetime movies in the past ten years get the public all lathered up to go out and spend AT LEAST $30 bucks at the local ice cream joint for a peek at fame?

Rant over.

Now I got a hankering for some fried clams.

Seriously.

Wednesdays Wonder

Can you help your fellow man out?

This economic recession has effected so many.

FartGate

Every now and again someone will tell a story that reduces me to the giggling 12 year-old little girl of my childhood. The recipe is pretty simple; it's got to contain the word "fart" and it immediately makes guffaw uncontrollably. It was like that this morning when I read about "FartGate" in my morning paper.

Apparently, at the 18th hole at the Buick Open Golf tournament this weekend, SOMEBODY farted loud enough for the CBS broadcast to pick up the offending sound bite. If that wasn't bad enough for the CBS brass, Tiger and his caddy Steve Williams immediately began laughing like a couple of seventh graders which made the situation all the worse.

TMZ.com is reporting that CBS is claiming that the offending rip did NOT come from the King of the Links, Tiger Woods himself, but from some other offender. Some speculate it was a "fart app" from an iphone. Whatever or whomever it was this was no doubt,"the blast heard round the world" or the "big bang theory" times twenty.

The blog site bodoglife.com claims "tiger woods fart" to be the hottest search on the internet and why not? People love to hear that the untouchable golf/sports icon, Woods may be human after all. Bodoglife.com also claims, that after some research, something stinks in this Tiger FartGate.

From bodoglife.com
"Apparently, Tiger has farted at other golf tournaments. The Inquisitor did some digging and found that Woods had let one rip before. They report, "Strangely this isn’t the first time Woods has sealed an event with a fart, having also farted when he won the Arnold Palmer invitational in March."

You can check out the video here, if you're interested, but you'd better do it quick because the PGA is claiming copywright to it and videos of FartGate have been disappearing all over the internets.

What can I say? I guess I will always be 12 years-old at heart. I hope I never change. Life would be too boring otherwise.

Big City Of Dreams

I'm sure you are all expecting a couple of great pictures of Beckeye and I from our fabulous NYC meeting, but I dropped the ball and forgot my camera and my iphone took some pretty bad ones, so you'll just have to use your imaginations.

NYC was great! The good weather gods were smiling down on us, and we arrived late Friday night to find a FREE parking street spot smack dab in front of my BFF's front door. (After we had already parked in a 24hr garage around the corner. I went back to get the car and had to pay $12 for a full 10 minutes. Welcome to NYC)

Saturday was a perfectly glorious day! One BFF had to work till 6pm so the other BFF and I had mapped out our retail therapy day. Before we left, in true NYC fashion, I crawled out onto my girlfriend's fire escape to breathe in the splendor of the city. I had been sitting out there for a few minutes, when I spied a simple everyday task being performed that I found most fascinating.

Someone's Nonna was hanging out the laundry. I gotta tell you, she had it down to a science. She lined up all the clothespins in the window sill and she expertly hung each item with precision and skill as she moved them down the pulley in a most efficient fashion. I was entranced, but was startled back in reality when I realized I had wasted almost 20 minues watching Nonna and the laundry show.

Off we went. First stop, Bergdorf Goodman, where the shoe sale was 65% off!! Apparently the entire designer shoe wearing population of NYC was aware of this as well, because all that was left was the red-headed step-child of designer shoes, picked over and discarded. Sadly, we left empty handed. We did, however, manage to catch a white-trash, cash padded pimp and what I am assuming were his two ho's, buying at least 10 pairs of shoes for the girls as they giggled and caressed his bald head. I heard him say to the ladies, "I don't want you girls wearing these out on the streets, ya'll hear me?" Where else but the big city.

We visited Henri Bendel, then hopped a cab to Soho where we ripped that place up as well. It was about 3pm, and since we had not eaten any lunch, we decided to stop for some oysters and champagne. I stepped outside and gave Becks a ring on the telly, so we could plan our meet up time. The plan was to meet up at 7:30, but like most well laid out plans that get messed up by a few glasses of champagne, we were late. We had planned to meet down on the Chelsea pier on an old boat that is now a bar called The Frying Pan.

We arrived closer to 8:30, and it was a good thing, because Becks was running late too. I had already talked to Beckeye at least 4 or 5 times to assure her that we were on our way. The sun was just setting pink on the Hudson and the night was clear and picturesque. It was a beautiful sight. We saw our destination, which turned out to be 3 separate boats attached to each other, jam-packed with people. As I walked up to the line at the dock, I spotted Becks. In pure Candy fashion, I started screaming her name like an excited fool. I gave her a BIG hug, introduced her to my friends, and we were off to mix and mingle among the masses on the boats.

We managed to find a table amidst the chaos, (sorry for the pic, but the boat sways, although you don't realize it unless you are looking over at one of the other boats) and we chatted and had cocktails on the Hudson. I have to say it was really beautiful. Beckeye is AWESOME, and beautiful and funny and sweet and smart, as I knew she would be, and we talked about all of you and the bloggersphere. We talked about lots of things, and I found our conversation to be easy and interesting, as we never really ran out of things to talk about. After a while, the music got louder and we got tired of screaming and were all getting hungry, so we left and went to a GREAT Italian restaurant that Becks suggested and had a late dinner.

We sat outside in a quaint little back patio and had some really great food. Becks friend met up with us there and all 5 of us enjoyed each others company over some Sangria. The portions were huge and the appetizers were so great that by the time dinner was served, we were already stuffed. BUT, being the trooper that I am, I managed to keep going, and continued on with my meal. Can't let a fabulous meal go to waste, right??

At dinner we laughed and joked about the funny, stupid stuff, and I was now beginning to feel the effects of the "crash and burn" syndrome. The food had grounded me back to earth and I knew I was "stick a fork in me" done. Christ, I'm old. What do you expect? We wrapped things up around 12:30 and I knew it was a night for me, so I sadly said my goodbye's to Beckeye (who continued her night on. She's my hero). We decided that she NEEDS to come to Boston, (since she has never been) and she needs to come soon, so I can take her to the sacred grounds of Fenway Park. Becks admitted to being a huge baseball fan as a young girl, but since the Pirates are not gunning for titles every year, she has lost her desire for America's favorite pastime.

Here's hoping a trip to Fenway, "America's Most Beloved Ball Park" will change all that. Hell Becks, we'll even get you a Sox baseball cap so that the chances of you being beat up and mugged in your neighborhood while wearing it, will increase by at least 50%! Good times.

In all, it was a wonderful meeting and I'm so glad Beckeye and I met.

Now Becks girl, I'm talking to you, c'mon and let me show you my city!! AND this time, we'll take pictures...