Judgement Day

Today is judgement day for Ex-Ass bloggers, and to tell you the truth, I feel like hurling.

No time for a post today, sorry. I hope you all have a great weekend and may all of you go into the weekend with a clear conscience and a pure heart.

Peace.

NSFW Caption This

" Dick and Jane knew the competition needed to be stiff to beat them."

The Crying Game

Men do cry.

They do.

I should know because my EX-ASS cried long and hard to me on the phone yesterday. Truth be told, it was pathetic and uncomfortable. Like the thief who's not at all sorry he stole but so sorry he got caught, the question remains whether or not the crocodile tears are for real or is this just a game? What does it take to make a REAL man cry?
Death? Despair? Loss? A painful break-up? Or in the EX's case, the prospect of jail?

And what does it say about me, if I feel no sympathy for someone who has continuously wronged and hurt both myself and the people I love? I feel mostly pity, and I do feel sorry.
Sorry for my children.

How bad do things have to be in order to reduce yourself to a blabbering fool, in a last ditch effort to manipulate a situation to your advantage? And what if he has cried wolf one too many times and he really is scared? God forbid he does something drastic, would I be the villain for not reading the signs?

No f-ing way.

This is not on my head.

You're man enough to do the crime? Be man enough to do the time.

I feel nothing.
Sorry, I just can't fall for this cancerous charade. Again. Go sell it to someone who's buying. There will be no surprise at the end of this Crying Game.

And for God's sake, quit the blubbering and man up.

My New BFF's Birthday

Let's have a little fun today. It's Ellen's birthday!!!

This is from two years ago and It's pretty funny. (and there's a shot of Jake Gyllenhaal's ass, so it's worth it)

I wonder what they got cooked up for my girl today?

Happy day Ellen!!!

Payback's A Bitch

They say looking good is the best revenge.

And that payback's a bitch.

Oh, yeah, and Karma's a bitch too.

"Rumors that Hollywood A-list power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are calling it quits after reportedly meeting with California divorce lawyers sent the media into a frenzy yesterday even though many close to the couple say Brangelina is here to stay."

"British tabloid News of the World broke the bombshell yesterday, reporting the couple secretly consulted with divorce lawyers in Beverly Hills and signed a $322 million split deal. The tabloid also reported heartthrob Pitt, 46, and Oscar-winning Jolie, 34, agreed to equally share custody of their children, even though all six would live full-time with Jolie. A source told News of the World both stars signed the document earlier this month."

“The contract was like a tailor-made version of a prenuptial agreement except for an unmarried couple’s split,” the unidentified source told the tabloid. “It seemed clear they want the world to know they’ll both play a part in the upbringing of the children.”

"Reps for Brangelina did not return calls for comment yesterday, the Daily News reported, but a source assured the public on People.com, “Everything is fine.”"

What's fine is Jen's ass....... you go girl!!!

Friggin Friday

So two Friday's ago I was all thankful and shit. Things were good and I was feeeeelin good...

My how things change quick.

Today I feel like my little friend above.

A couple a bullets why:

• A completely DISMAL sales week at the store. Freakin' dismal


• I got a zit


• I have been absolutely busting ass, working out and on a diet since Jan 4th...I gained two pounds.


• A completely DISMAL sales week at the store.


• My dog chewed my JIMMY CHOO stilettos. They can be salvaged, I think, but here's the kicker, it was my female dog. Does she not have the shoe DNA? Bitch.


• I hate my hair.


• A completely DISMAL sales week at the store.


• My entire family had a fantastic, Chicken Cutlet Parmagiana and ziti dinner last night. What did I have, while I sat with them? Lean cuisine. AND...I prepeared the Italian feast for them.


• I want to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in one sitting. I won't, but that doesn't stop the cravings. The upside is 2 months clean and counting.


• I have to work tomorrow. Per usual.


• Did I mention that the sales at the store this week have been DISMAL???

Let's hope I can turn my frown upside down soon. Oh, I hope I didn't step on your Friday buzz. Have a great weekend bloggers and don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

It's nothing an entire bottle of wine and a big fat meal can't cure.

Peace!

Thank You Sweet Baby Jesus For The Smokin Hot Dennis Quaid Who Is A Stone Cold Fox

I'm sorry.

I knew at about 9:30 yesterday morning that I had to share this with you.

It was so funny that it actually interrupted my workout. Yup, I had to stop running because I was laughing so hard.

Please, watch.