Lost And Found

I lost my mojo and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to find it.

The thing is, I'm not exactly sure where I lost it. I mean, I had it recently, but it has since gone missing. Damn, I hate it when this happens cuz I need it. My mojo accompanies wherever I go and is usually right there when I need it.

But not lately. Lately it has taken a free pass and it gave me the heave-ho. Can't say that I blame it. I've been a real downer and if you're a mojo I guess you don't want anything keeping you down.

Dude, can't we work it out? Come back and I promise I'll behave. We'll go back to the good old days when it was fun and you were the life of the party. We don't even have to talk about it. No questions asked, just come back. I won't ask why you deserted me now, when I seem to need you most. It's ok, really. Everybody looses their mojo sometimes, I just need to find you quick so we can be in sync again. Life is better when we are in sync.

So if you are out this weekend bloggers and you see my mojo, tell him to come home. You'll know him when you see him. He's the one with all the confidence, having a great time and living large. Tell him I'm sorry and that I'll listen to everything he says. I won't blame you if you invite him to stay with you for a day or so, because my mojo can be a great friend. He just makes you feel so good.

I know he'll come back, it's just a matter of when and whether I can hold out until then. Tell him I'm waiting...

Too Bad The Tux Was Rented

So have you seen this?

Kevin Cotter, a man whose high school sweetheart and wife of 12 years left him in July of 2009, turned his devastation and despair into success. A box salesman from Tuscon Arizona, Cotter, had been with his wife for more than half of his life and had two children with her when she walked out leaving her life and her wedding dress behind in a keepsake box in the closet. She told him to do "whatever he wanted" with the wedding dress and that's exactly what he did.

Cotter and his brother Colin started brainstorming about ways to use the wedding dress. They decided it would make a great grill cover, yoga mat, scarecrow, complete with a Darth Vader helmet and punching bag. Cotter then stared taking pictures and posting them and the wedding dress chronicles on myexwifesweddingdress.com. Instantly a Internet star was born.

People could relate to his pain and by using comedy, this type of therapeutic fun struck a chord with his fans. His ex wife wasn't exactly pleased, but for Cotter his brother reports that while they were taking pictures for the blog he began to see "his first real laugh" since the divorce.

Cotter turned his blog into a book deal and says that the book, "101 Uses for My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress", is about so much more than using a wedding dress to strain cooked pasta. Along with the hilarious commentary on his ex's dress, he poignantly writes about dealing with devastation of life alone and reflects on divorce, children, life and moving on.

Cotter has moved on. He married a woman he met on match.com in his backyard. “She said earlier in our relationship that if it worked out and one day we were to be married, it would have to be a beach wedding and she would wear a thong bikini,” Cotter said. “She said she would not risk leaving me with any amount of material for a sequel." She didn't though, in the end she wore a dress, and one that I'm sure is under lock and key away from Cotter.

Too bad my ex wore a rented tux. I think it could have made a New York Times best seller.

Wikid Real NSFW

Ok so this is way too good NOT to share.

All I have to say about this is while the sports worship is completely accurate, we don't really sound like that.

Do we?

Dancing Darkhorse

One of my guilty pleasures in this life is watching those dumb-ass Kardashians. I have to admit it, that I just can't help trying to "Keep up" with them. Why? I can't quite explain it, nor can the millions of other idiots, like me, who watch them but I'm riveted.

There's just something about them.

Love them or hate them, they grow on you. I couldn't help but recently feel bad for youngest Kardashian brother Rob.The Kardashian/Jenner clan was on vacation in Bora Bora, and diva princess Kim decided to give Rob a hard time for being a "loser" with no career. She kept making digs about how Rob has no career and that younger sister Kendall makes more money than him, (thems is fighting words) to which Robert responded by calling Kim a whore on national TV. They then had a moving/nauseating scene in the hotel room with Rob and his mom with tears and Rob telling his mom that he needs to start doing something with his life. She cries too and tells him that she will help him.

Flash forward to today, Kris Jenner must have helped him in the best way she could, because he is now on Dancing with the Stars. Not the greatest way for a guy to achieve his dreams, but if you're a Kardashian, it's a $tart.

Now here's the funny thing, I don't watch Dancing with the Stars, but on Tuesday mornings I check YouTube to see how Rob did the night before and on Wednesday mornings I check to see if Rob had been eliminated. I am cheering for him and as ridiculous as this sounds, I want him to win so that he can shove it in his fat-assed, diva queen, princess sister Kim's face. SHE, who got kicked off in week two of her stint on Dancing.

And now people are saying he could pull off a win. Really?

I know it's stupid, and I know that there are people fighting the good fight for great causes and for the greater good all over the world. In the scheme of things this is a great waste of time, but I can't help rooting for this guy.

The chances are slim, but I hope he pulls this off. I hope he gets to shove that disco ball championship trophy right up his sister Kim's media hogging, greedy, selfish, fat ASS.

GO ROB!

Occupy

I'm embarrassed to admit that I really never gave this "Occupy Wallstreet" movement more than a passing glance in my newspaper. I read about it, filed the information in my brain and continued on about my day. It was always there, but in the back of my clogged up mind. I knew it was a politically charged protest that had to do with corporate greed and economic inequality and that was just about all I needed to know.

Then yesterday and this morning, I began reading numerous stories about the power of the people participating in this movement and their plight to make change. I read about Rose Gudiel, a California woman who lost her home to eviction last month. She had been fighting a loosing battle and facing foreclosure for two years against Fannie Mae. When the family tried to pay the money they owed, the bank repeatedly told Rose there was nothing she could do, that her case was closed, and that she was to be evicted on Sept 28. The family notified the bank that they would not go peacefully.

So with the power of Occupy behind them, Rose and her family camped outside their home to protest. They had decided that they were going to fight for what they believed was rightfully theirs and what happened next was nothing short of amazing.

Fannie Mae cancelled the eviction notice and offered Rose and her family a loan modification so that they could afford to keep their home.

Why?

Because maybe this movement is onto something.
Maybe not, but for people like Rose and her family this ia a major victory.

And maybe this is exactly what our country needs right now, a series of small victoires that will add up to major change.

And maybe, just maybe, this movement will Occupy more than a small part of this country's clogged up brain.

TGIF

There aren't enough days in the weekend. ~Rod Schmidt


Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. ~Bill Watterson


The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend. ~Chuck Palahniuk


Always strive to excel, but only on weekends. ~Richard Rorty


Of all the days that's in the week
I dearly love but one day
And that's the day that comes betwixt
A Saturday and Monday.
~Henry Carey


Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week. ~Joseph Addison


Always strive to excel, but only on weekends. ~Richard Rorty


http://www.quotegarden.com/weekends.html

Little Heffy's Gotta Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom??

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite, What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.''

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table," the teacher said.

"And you, Little Heffy, can you show us your good manners?"

Little Heffy said:"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted!