Monday, September 28, 2009

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?



I got an invitation to attend my High School reunion in November.

The question begs to be asked, should I go? When I recieved it, all that angst I had left back in the 80's came rushing over me like the Johnstown flood. I'm not quite sure I NEED go. Granted, I did attend the last one, five years ago and I wonder if every five years is the way to go with these things. I had a great time, but things have changed drastically for me since then.

This time, I have to go as a "divorcee". Not that I really care about that, but do I really want to explain all of that crazy shit to tons of people I never see? Not really. I still see all of my high school friends throughout the year. We have managed to stay pretty close and always travel to Cape Cod or some other destination at least once a year to bond (read: get drunk and act crazy). We still e-mail each other regularly and attend milestone events in each other's lives, so the angst thing would be about the other classmates that would be in attendance. The ones I don't keep in touch with.

Then there's the worry about loosing more weight, a killer outfit, and whether or not My Guy needs to attend the function with me. He knows most of my High School friends anyway, and he has heard all the petty shit that goes on between us and the good stuff too. Do I need to subject him to this, or do I fly solo and go into the Lion's den alone? I wonder. I suppose it could be fun, but maybe a decade or so between reunions is better served. I hate all the phony bull shit that goes on at these things. People shrilly telling you,"How great you look!" and people passing around pictures of their children and lying about how wonderful their lives are. It could be a good opportunity to network with people, and have a few laughs with old friends, but at whose expense? Mine? And with the big "D" hanging over my head, do I just look like another statistic? (which I am anyway)

I tend to be a pretty confident person in general, so I hate the fact that this invite has spiraled me back into a time of insecurity and uncertainty.

Give it to me straight bloggers, I can handle it.

18 comments:

Jim said...

Reunions tend to be very reunion-y, and are pretty much all alike, so I'd only go if you're up for that sort of catching up with whoever may be there. You have so much in your life to be proud of and excited about, but I understand how you feel about just not being up for that sort of show.

Heck, at least they found you . . . I've been "among the missing" for decades, even though my parents still live less than 5 miles from the school. One cracker-jack alumni networking system they've got there ;-)

XO

B.E. Earl said...

I've avoided my high-school reunions like the plague.

That isn't going to change any time soon.

SkylersDad said...

I had fun at my last one, because we all have grown past the petty stage and now enjoy just seeing one another.

Bill Stankus said...

I hated high school, nothing good came from it except it's ending. I went to the 5 year one, shrugged my shoulders and never went to another.

You're a social person, the petty talk will roll off & you will have an good time. Reunions are like potato chips, OK while you munch on them but totally forgettable a few hours later.

I vote, forgetaboutit.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Go. Stop thinking about and welcome the experience no matter what it brings.

:)

Soda and Candy said...

Eh, I never went to any reunions - I figured if I wanted to be in touch with those people I would be already.

Also, I don't think being divorced is that big a deal, people who manage to stay married seem to be the oddity these days!

madtexter said...

I have never attended any of my high school reunions. The last one was last November, and I guess there were so few people attending in previous years that they combined both classes of '87 & '88 (dating myself here).

I really had no reason to see some of my classmates after 20 years. (Although after seeing the resulting photos that were posted online after the reunion, I may go to the next one.) I still have my hair and my waistline (for the most part), and some of those people let themselves all go to hell).

What's cool now is that I'm connecting with some of them via Facebook, so over the course of time, we're all slowly catching up with each other's going's on. If I do decide to go to the next reunion, I won't have to give a 20+ year recap. They can just read the book! (or my blog).

joe said...

I've never been to one. My high school was in florida, and i'm here in new york... besides i don't need to see those losers again..

Dr Zibbs said...

You should go. We've had one every five years and I've been to all of them. I even talked to a lot of people I never really knew in high school.

Jim said...

By the way . . . "I wonder if every five years is the way to go with these things" . . . ummm, I think every fifteen is more than enough.

Lord help us all if they had them more often than that, lol.

XO

Cora said...

Okay, here's how I see it. My school only has them every ten years and, in my opinion, that's more than frequent enough. If they were every five years, I doubt I'd go to them all.

That being said, I went to my ten year reunion nine years ago as a divorcee and I went into the lion's den solo - and I was not the only one. I felt like a loser as I arrived at the shindig, but as soon as I walked into the room, I felt much better. A lot of people were divorced and a lot of people had no date with them. There were a lot of people who had aged shockingly badly and a few of us who still looked pretty much the same, and, I dunno, at the end of the night I walked out feeling really good about myself and my life, the big "D" and all.

Don't let the divorce hold you back, Candy. And as for your fella, I say bring him - why not show him off?

My twenty year reunion is next summer. I plan to go and I plan to bring Scope and show him off and I plan to have fun and blog all hell out of it afterwards! ;-)

Drinky Crow said...

Judging from the facts you've presented and the thoughts you've expressed, I'd say there is no logical reason for you to attend.

Hell, you network more with HS friends than 95% of the populace as it is. And you saw all who wished to be seen just 5 years ago.

I've never attended a HS or College Reunion. If I'm nearby, I would again attend the Reunion for ALL ages of my Army Unit. But that's because we were a special group. With a bond cemented with blood, sweat and tears. Frankly, I enjoyed meeting the old Vietnam and Korea guys more than seeing old friends.

Totally different than buzzing by somewhere every 5 years to see who's porky and who has new boobs and such.

BeckEye said...

I don't really know what to tell you because I hated every minute of high school. I doubt I'll ever go to a reunion.

Scott Oglesby said...

My personal preference is to stay as far away from those things as possible. I went to my 10 year while I was still living in Pittsburgh and the bullshit was hair high. I was popular and a football player in HS, but those days are over. Half the people had rented Mercedes or Range Rovers. You’d see them fumbling with the keys and the locks. Trying in vain to adjust the seats. It turned out that one guy brought a ‘professional’ escort, which came out after the girl had a couple too many vodka’s. It was hilarious. Everybody lies and tries to be so perfect. It’s pretty much high school all over again, which would be fine if you weren’t 10, 15, or 20 years older.

I’m still very close to a few friends and they even visit me in Spain. Other people I have as ‘friends’ on Facebook, and I’m content to look at their pictures, let them look at mine, and have the occasional witty banter with. But that’s just my opinion.

The Dental Maven said...

Wait for the decade - then re-evaluate again at that time. Life's got plenty more important things to perseverate over.

Scope said...

Ms. Candy, I would strongly encourage you to go. Sure things have changed in the last 5 years, but aren't you in a better place now?

And trust me, while I might know only a little about women, this I know: While they would love to get all catty on you about your divorce, most have been thru it, too, or their sister has, etc., so they can't look down on you. And if you pass out business cards to "The Candy Bar" with a little "Save 10% before Christmas" hand written on them, you will be the star of the evening.

You have a room full of your target market (I think you like somewhat close to your hometown), just don't beat the drum too hard, and have a good time.

Furtheron said...

I wouldn't go - there again I have kept in touch with relatively few of my school friends... expect my wife :-)

If you keep in touch with those you want to regularly then why bother with the meet up and exchange all the news with those you'll not see for ages again?

DK @ Knucklehead! said...

I'm going to make this as simple as possible. If you want to go, go. If you don't, don't. It's not going to be a life-changing experience either way, so don't get all hung up on it.

Better yet, pretend you're someone else, like that bitchy cheerleader, and spend the evening telling people off.