Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Just Doing My Civic Duty

*shhhh* *i'm whispering*

* 10 am. so i'm sitting in the jury pool room at one of the many district courthouses in my state, doing my civic duty. we just saw the judge, a woman, and she explained to us the many duties and things we must consider if we are called to serve on a trial.

then they played for us a video explaining all the things that could potentially happen if we are called to serve with some old sandra day o'connor looking bag, narrating. blah, blah, blah. i'm sitting in a room with 22 other people; my peers, I assume, and I am the only one with a laptop. huh? we had to leave all cell phones in our vehicles, for they are not even permitted in the building. I have already gone through x-ray security, been subject to a search, and now we have been instructed to stay in this tiny room and wait.

we will going up to the courtroom momentarily to sit through the jury selection process, so i've decided to make today's post like a twitter update and keep you randomly posted of the events throughout the day. who knows what will happen, but the feeling around here seems to be that they are taking this shit seriously. little do they know there is a dreaded blogger amongst the jury pool. hee hee.

i can tell you this, while i was waiting in line to go through the courthouse security, i heard this conversation taking place behind me.

"yo man, i just slapped the bitch," said defendant 1.
"no way dude, where?" said defendant 2.
"right out there in the parking lot, just now. the bitch ratted me out in court so i hauled off and slapped the bitch down," defendant 1 said.
"nice. that oughta look real good when we sit down for the trial today," defendant 2 said.
defendant 1 replied, laughing, "yeaaah. that bitch learned not to f**k with my ass, ever."

should be an interesting day. I'll keep you posted.

12:30-Sorry to disappoint you, but we have been DIS-MISSED! Can't say that I'm upset, because really the only thing I observed, besides the "bitch slap conversation", was the VERY pregnant and VERY beautiful Philippino girl who sat across from me in the jury room, for 2 straight hours, and did.... ab. so. lute. ly. NOTHING. She had not a thing to read, no cell phone, and made not a sound for two hours. Maybe she was a Zen Master and has perfected the art of meditation, because I was thouroughly impressed. And this coming form the only person making noise in the room (the clickety clack of my computer)!

19 comments:

Joanie M said...

Oh my! Wouldn't it be interesting if those 2 geniuses were on the trial you get chosen for!

I get called for jury duty every 3 years whether I need it or not. I've never been chosen though.

LOL!!! My word verification is IDGIT!

Milk River Madman said...

Any idea what kind of trial? Something scandalous we hope.

Gwen Gwen Banana Fo Fen said...

You can't bring a phone into the building but you can have a laptop? Weird.

Here's hoping something exciting happens!

Heff said...

"Oh, the EXCITEMENT", lol !

SkylersDad said...

Sometimes a bitch just needs slappin...

Have fun, be sure to talk into your sleeve a lot like you are wired.

BeckEye said...

Oooh, you might get to be part of The Bitch Slap of the Century!

Cora said...

Yikes.

I was in court as a witness in a shoplifting case once and one of the defendants was ordered into anger management classes - and just minutes later he was fuming at his girlfriend (who was sporting two lovely black eyes!!!!) that he wanted to beat the crap out of the judge for suggesting he had an anger problem.

Ummm.

Yeah.

Some people just aren't very self-aware, I suppose.

Jeeeeez.

Best of luck in jury duty, Candy! The dreaded blogger amid the throng! I'm loving it! Tell us all about it! Hee hee hee. :-)

The Dental Maven said...

I never get chosen. I must exude that dentistry aroma or something.

Skye said...

I guess the fact that you were DIS-MISSED means that the whole group won't be selected due to the fact that you overheard that conversation? If so, you are one lucky gal! Or does it mean that you have to return on another day and go through the whole shitaree again? If that's the case, my confirm word kinda makes sense. It's "sonva" as in son-of-a-bitch!

Scandalous Housewife said...

I had jury duty last summer, but they dismissed me when the defendant's attorney asked the jurors why a person might not testify in their own defense. I raised my hand and said "Cuz they're guilty?". Juror #15, you are dismissed...

Pop and Ice said...

Once you've been on jury duty, even if only to wait and be dismissed, it becomes patently obvious how important it is to serve, rather than try to get out of it. Just look around the room, imagine them as a jury of YOUR peers, and you begin to appreciate the need for competent jurors.

I seem to have become awfully serious here. I guess I feel more strongly about this than I thought.

~E said...

Sorry about being such a stickler but uhm...FILIPINO...or FILIPINA whatever. Can't help it, Im a very beautiful Filipina myself albeit not even the slightest bit pregnant.

And also, they let you have a laptop but not a phone? WTH? what if you had one of those nifty netbook things that connect to the internet like a cell. You could have posted videos of the trial as they were happening. Stupid luddites.

Scope said...

Sorry ~E, but that has always confused me, too.

Eyi kennut speel mi whey owt uf a paypur sak, but how is someone from the 'Philippines' a 'Filipina' not a 'Philippina'?

I NEED RULES and your anarchy totaly shatters my brain!

But for you, I make an exception.

Breathe said...

You can get dismissed just by saying you can spot guilty people just by looking at them. The start chewing on th buttons of your blouse.

10 minutes and you'll be outta there.

Sassy Britches said...

I have always wanted to master the art of doing nothing. I fidget too much. Or I fall asleep. Probably not very Zen-like, huh?

Chaka said...

I would usually fear jury duty, but it would be a different story if I could blog on a laptop during the trial. I guess you just have to make occasional eye contact and have a concerned look on your face as you are typing and they wouldn't know what you are up to.

Furtheron said...

This temps fate doesn't it... I've never been called for jury service but I know a few people who've done it multiple times.

TROLL Y2K said...

I have no peers.

Joe D. said...

I've always wanted to get selected to jury duty just to do or say something really odd during screening which would ultimately lead to my dismissal.