A Bit Of Dandy Celebrity Bashing

Let's try something a little different today. You know how most of the celeb rags have the sections with actual quotes from various celebrities like, "They Said What?"or "Scene and Heard"? Some of the quotes are funny and some just leave you scratching your head and let's face it, I'm not entirely sure they don't make that stuff up to sell magazines. When I read crap like that I always have my own commentary running through my head responding to what they have to say.

So, let's celebrity bash and spice up the quotes with some blogger magic. These are actual celebrity quotes from gossip rags. I'll go first and them you can respond in the comments with your comments on any quote that strikes you. Because after all, celebrities are people too.

"I work too hard to do Dancing With The Stars. I couldn't make it. I'd sing on it for other people to dance to." Liza Minnelli in OK Magazine.

Oh thank you Liza. That's a visual I'm not quite ready for. I can't help but wonder, you work too hard doing what??? I know, taking prescription drugs and falling down drunk must take up the bulk of your day anyway.

"My hidden talent? I don't keep any of my talent's hidden! With me it's more like, Hey look what I can do!" Scarlett Johansson in US Weekly.

And that would be exactly what???? Yeah, I can see your talents are fighting a battle to stay hidden in that dress.

"He goes,'Charlize, this is going to be different for you...people are going to see this movie'...Then I'm like ....'You know what? I have a statue at home called an Academy Award.'" Charlize Theron in US Weekly on joking with Hancock costar Will Smith.

Oh snap! Step off Fresh Prince!! Joking my ass. Love her! Huge girl,crush on the smokin hot Charlize.

"I recently had a Red Bull problem. I found myself maniacally drinking it. I was up to seven a day. ...Then Red Bull contacted me and was like,'We want to send you a minifridge.' I was like,'No please! I love you but I can't' It's like giving a crack addict free crack." Eva Mendes in Us Weekly.

I think there are a few councilors at Cirque Lodge in Utah that would testify in court that it wasn't Red Bull that's the problem....

"If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding...She'll remember it forever. Spencer, dude, you'll realize this later." Tom Cruise giving Spencer Pratt marriage advice in OK Magazine.

Thanks Tom, just what the world needed., more rediculous photo's of "Spedi". Why couldn't you just opt to be glib about it?

"My trainer just shakes her head and says,'This is a disaster.'" Jennifer Garner on not loosing all of her baby weight in Star Magazine.

Oldest trick in the book. This is the part where we all supposed to go,"Oh no Jennifer, you're not fat...." Boo-fricken-hoo.

"There are times, trust me, when I watch it back and I just think, God, I wish I hadn't said that." Simon Cowell on being mean to American Idol contestants in Us Weekly.

To be perfectly honest I thought that quote was indulgent rubbish, Simon. You haven't got a chance in hell because quite frankly, it was utterly forgettable.

That was sort of fun. Now it's your turn.

Please feel free to bash hard and often.