Candy's Weekly Wank

"You've just had your twelfth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?"

"Phil"

"But you named the last eleven Phil"

"Yeah its great. I say, "Phil go clean the room", they all go clean their room. I say, "Phil come for dinner", they all come for dinner."

"But what if you only want one of them?"

"Oh! Then I call them by their last name."

I Was Just Thinking: A Cleansing Of The Mind

I did it and I survived!
It was no big deal really, the best part of the one-day Detox cleanse is the way I feel today. Beside a splitting headache at 4am, I would have to say the cleanse was a success. It gives me renewed energy and lots of Mojo. It feels good to clean out the brain and body cobwebs.

Having said that, I was just thinking:

• I'm not sure if it's the one day cleanse or the season, but suddenly I want to clean out EVERYTHING! Purge the crap and make clean, tidy room for new space and new ideas and things. 

• What's all the hub bub about Beyonce and Jay-Z going to Cuba? Are we, Americans. still prohibited from travelling to Cuba, “unless authorized by a general or specific license,”  Bey and Jay were never going to face the possible $250,000.00 fine or 10 year jail sentence that could be imposed by traveling to that specific locale. Reportedly the Treasury department approved the trip as an "educational exchange". Hopefully that exchange is about music education.

• When I was in graduate school, we were required to read all three newspapers daily; The Boston Globe, The Boston Herald and The New York Times. I will never forget being lambasted, in front of my classmates,  for naming the Herald as my go to new source in class. "Your tastes in journalistic content leave much to be desired,"scolded my professor, to which my peers seemed to laugh and point their fingers. Well, some 12 years later who has egg on their face now???  The Boston Herald was just voted one of the Unites States "Ten papers who do it right" by Editor and Publisher magazine. Not that I 'm gloating, (but I am), the Herald is not only thriving but  expanding. While the Boston Globe faces extinction,  ironically now owned by the New York Times. Not me, no egg here. 

• Frack has entered into the dating game. I couldn't be more thrilled for him. He has been invited to dinner with his gal pal's family tonite and he's looking forward to it. She's adorable and I think it's nice at his age to have someone special. They grow up so fast....

De-Toxic

Remember this photo?

This was one of our clues that I shared with you last Thursday regarding the Magical Mystery Tour the Toxic Trio embarked upon this past weekend. The Trio asked what the significance of this photo was, to which a blurry answer was provided. But since we were a wee bit blurry ourselves, we didn't pursue. When trying to recall the significance, I could only come up with the clues; three blue wine glasses and something about three's. That was it. 

Anyway, when we arrived home we were told that the Trio Trip was not complete. There was yet more and a delivery would be coming to our home Tuesday night.
Really? 
I was quite sure my liver would go on strike if there were more, but I anxiously awaited this new development. It was an exciting new surprise, and I thought for sure there was no way to top the weekend.
But this? Turns out, it was far better than anything I could have ever imagined.

Delivered to us, complete with enough for an entire day for both My Guy and I was The Blue Print Cleanse. I couldn't have been more thrilled and more curious. 

The Renovation Cleanse, by Blueprint, is today's complete menu for us and I'm looking forward to food deprivation like I never have before. I've always wanted to try a cleanse, but wasn't exactly sure how to start or where to start. Looks like I need no longer wonder.

The Renovation Cleanse is 6 juice drinks, each 16 oz to be consumed throughout the course of 3 days. The goal is to abstain from solid food and to cleanse your body. Instructions are to space them out as you like, but to stay hydrated with herbal teas and water in between. The only specific instruction is to try to have #6 two hours before bedtime.

So I'm anticipating an interesting day for me today, considering I have never done any type of fast or cleanse before. BUT I LOVE IT!!! I'm excited, and if I make it through today successfully, I just may purchase days 2 and 3 and go for it all. Cuz that's how I roll!

Oh, and incase you were wondering about the picture above and significance of the clue? It was quite brilliant, really. 

Three blue wine glasses- We had three blues:

• Jet Blue
• Fontainebleau
• Blue Print Cleanse

Good luck De-Toxing Trio!

Wiggle It, Just A Little Bit

And the winner is.......Miami's Fontaineblue Hotel and Happy Mommy! 

And it did not disappoint! We arrived Friday afternoon to pouring rain and lots of excitement. Of course a little rain never never held back this group, and we quickly had lunch, unpacked and went down to the lobby to explore our new surroundings. In hindsight, I should have realized that a lobby that has a huge bar, complete with a light up disco floor in the larger portion of the lobby was there for a distinct reason, but in my "just arrived" excitement I hardly noticed.We had a few drinks then went off to the first destination, Mr. Chow in the W Hotel. 

Is everything in Miami a "scene"? I'm not complaining, because I seemed right at home in the nightclub atmosphere of the Asian Fusion  famous chain restaurant. The food was outstanding, the wait staff amazing and the atmosphere was fun and young, but a bit loud for an intimate dinner if that's what you are looking for. But that's not what this group was looking for. This group was ready for a little party. I said little right? 

All of that was fine and well, but the real heartbeat of Miami and our trip was yet to come. We had no idea what we were about to encounter. Now, I had been to Miami before, but I brought the children last time and we enjoyed the famous South Beach in a different way. This time it was from an entirely new perspective. The Fontaineblue has a unique vibe and by unique I mean after dark it turns into something completely UNBELIEVABLE. (Heff and Bama, save your pennies, cuz this place is your kind of vacation!)

After Mr. Chow, we arrived at the front of the Fontaineblue among what looked like lots and lots of young people. Did I mention lots? and we sort of looked at each other like, "What's going on here?" 

WHAT WAS GOING ON? Hundreds, and I'm not kidding you when I say hundreds, of scantily clad young women and men had descended upon the lobby of our hotel. Scantily clad being the operative words here. One young lady was more "naked" than the next and it was then that we decided that this "show" was so much better than anything we would have paid admission for. 

For the next two to three hours, we sat at the lobby bar and had what was the best part of the trip: the people watch. The Fontaineblue has a famous four story night club called LIV and no we didn't go into it, but believe me when I tell you, we didn't need to. The line to get into LIV starts forming early in the evening and never stops. The club opens at 11:30 and closes at 5:30 am, but the real show is what takes place outside the club in the expansive lobby. 

Jiggle and wiggle were jiggling and wiggling all over the place and I'm sure jiggle did not know what wiggle was up to. Boobs, butt and legs were on display in every size, shape, color and creed and even the fat ones looked gorgeous. I swear. It was hilarious and us newbies did not know where to look next. The entertainment was endless. The best part were the dresses..or lack of and the high heels. Judging by the height of the high heels and the length of the dresses, (strategically just above the coochie area, was the average) you would have SWORE there was a stripper convention going on at that hotel, and not the medical convention that was taking place in another part of the hotel. 

That scene was only topped by the scene at the hotel pool the next day. Really, that scene was much better if  I ever believed that could happen. I never have seen more bikini's, boobs and big heels at a beach destination. Skin was a pre-requisite and if you weren't showing lots skin, you were the one who was looking uncomfortable. God bless them, they were out in full force at the pool too. What a scene. 

We saw much more on our ventures up to Ocean Drive. That's where the late great Gianni Versace was brutally murdered on his front steps in 1997. His palatial private residence is now a private club complete with a restaurant, but you can't walk by there without stopping to ponder the sad shame of his untimely murder.  On our trek further down we caught a full on Drag Queen show that was amazing! We didn't even need to go into the bar that was hosting it, this one was right on the street for all to enjoy! Some of the most beautiful transgendered men/women I ever had the pleasure of judging with my applause. It was at The Clevlander, a few crazy blocks down, that we saw first hand the art of naked body painting and pole dancing right on the street!!! In full on view of everyone. The point here is, if you can't beat em', join em', so we sat and had a few jovial cocktails and enjoyed yet another show. 

All in all, the endless skin show was a blast, and the trip a huge success, but the greatest thing of all was the great time spent with great friends. Like the name of the famous night club in the Fontainebleu, it makes you want to LIV your life to the fullest. Miami beach is one of those places that really enjoys life. 

And a life like that is certainly worth living every once in a while.

Magical Mystery Tour

Hey Bloggers!

Today's post is more of a riddle of sorts, and I need your help here to solve the mystery. You see, I'm leaving today on a long weekend with two other couples who are my very good friends. We, the three couples, decided back in January that we would draw numbers out of a hat and that each couple would plan a mystery weekend away for the group.

Tomorrow is start of trip number one.

The only things we know for sure are this:

• We are traveling no more than two hours away from MA.
• We are taking an airplane.
• The destination will host temperatures over 70 degrees F
• Elvis, Frank Sinatra and Goldfinger all have this place in common
• The name of these glasses will tell it all..

Now, by the time you read this, I will be well on my way to the mystery destination...and I won't be returning to the bloggersphere till Tuesday, April 9, 2013. 

As it stands right now, we aren't sure where we are going, but we have a few suspicions. Miami? Fontainbleau? Still not sure...

Tell me bloggers, what to you come up with?

I'll reveal the mystery destination and the winner who guesses correctly on Tuesday. The prize? 

You can come on the next mystery with us trip in September. 

Have a great weekend bloggers and try to keep the mystery in your life alive....

Mumbled Messages

Remember Mumbles from Dick Tracy?

Mumbles was a Dick Tracy Character from the iconic Dick Tracy Cartoon who first debuted in the 40's. Quick bio: Mumbles was a gangster who was part of a quartet of musicians who committed crimes. Dick Tracy and the cops chased Mumbles and his gang for years. Mumbles did not have a speech impediment, but earned his nick name from using "sloppy speech".

Mumbles is also the nick name of the beloved Mayor of my fair City of Boston. Mayor Tom Menino has held his desk at city hall for 20 years. During that time, Mayor Menino would mix up and mash together certain names, words and constantly fumble minor facts into a bit of a jumble. The press would always have a field day, and they would play the video sound bites of his gaffe's on the radio and the TV news. Even the print papers would publish Mumbles "more infamous" blunders.

Flash forward to today:  So I'm reading my Boston Herald this morning and my favorite old Herald scribe hit me right between the eyes, as he has so many times before. His message powerful and sent clearly and articulately. I decided it was too good not to share here today. Quick Bio: Joe Fitzerald used to write sports, back in the day when Candy was a young and bright eyed journalism  undergraduate working at TV38. I read him every day. He has a knack for spinning a story and making you feel like you are having a conversation with him at the local diner counter over morning coffee. Joe was moved to the middle of the paper doing human interest stories about 5- 10 years ago. Joe recently lost his beloved wife of may years to Alzhimers at the age of 65 last October. He poignantly wrote about their life together.

The old Joe reared his head this morning with his message. You see, Joe is everybody's newspaper man, and even though Mayor Menino made embarrassing bumble and jumbles when talking, that's only a small part of the story of the man; the Mayor. Joe tells the story to not us, the Herald readership, but to his "pal Johnny", a sixth grader here in Boston.

I won't tell you everything, but I will share with you the words Joe printed of our imparting Mayor of Boston's wife, Angela Menino,

“Tommy’s always telling me, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ Even though he doesn’t show it, I know it has to hurt.

“When we were kids we all had something that other kids could pick on, remember? Maybe we had an accent, or wore glasses, or were fat. There was always someone eager to make fun of it. Me? I wore braces.

“I can still remember one bully who loved making fun of me. I tried to be a good sport and laugh along with everyone else, but I also remember how much it hurt inside. And that’s what I think of when I see what they do to Tommy.”

I encourage you to take a moment and click the link HERE to read Joe's column, because it's a great lesson in humility and compassion. Isn't it the responsibility of the press to tell a good story? One that has relevance and is inspiring? Mr Fitzgerald has a real knack for that. All good newspaper men do.

As for Mumbles? Don't worry about him. His record speaks ever so clearly for itself. He knows what's really important. It makes me think we all should.

For Cry Eye

I've been slowly going blind. Seriously, over the past 2 years my eyesight has gotten worse and worse. I can't see anything up close at all, and forget reading a paper or a book. These days, to do any of that, I need my glasses. Of course, the more I use my glasses, the more I need them and I've considered using one of these thingies cuz I'm constantly searching for my glasses:

WTF???
I had a conversation with my brother on Sunday about this, he is 4 years older than I, and he told me it's just going to get worse. Great! I went to the eye doctor and we had a conversation about Lasik, which is not applicable for my needs. Great again! I have a very common, age related vision problem called presbyopia.

Which basically means that my eye lens has become less flexible. Which basically means that I can't read crap. Restaurant menus? Forget it. Good thing my iPhone has a flashlight because I use that all the time if the restaurant is dimly lit.

As time progresses, the condition will only become worse. Now, I don't mind wearing glasses. I think it's actually kind of fun, wearing funky specs to round out a style. What I don't like is the way my eyes feel, blurry and unfocused all the time. It's very unsettling. But what am I to do? Since presbyopia cannot be prevented, I guess I need to speak to my eye doctor about options.

Are there surgical options in my case and what are the risks and benefits? Believe me, this is not a vanity thing. As I said, glasses are fun and a great accessory. This is about my overall well being. Blurry vision is not fun and I don't like the way it makes me feel. Friends of mine have had Lasik and say that it was one of the best things they have ever done. Is there a procedure for Presbyopia that would garner results like lasik?

If so, where do I sign up?

Living in a clear world is much better than a cloudy one.