The City That Never Sleeps

Glee hit the big city last night for season two's finale; the big city of New York. Although the Glee club arrived in the city that never sleeps, I have to say that this episode, for me, was a yawn fest.

The episode opened to much Time Square footage, with Rachel, dressed in some sort of Mary Tyler Moore throwback outfit announcing, "I made it!". Interestingly, the kids arrived in New York without their song to perform at Show Choir Nationals. (this would only happen in a Glee made for TV universe) Rest assured, the kids were in lock down in their hotel until they banged out a show stopper.

Mr. Shue snuck out of the hotel to hit the Broadway stage of "CrossRhodes", a show he is slated to join the cast of and live his dream. After a solo performance of "Still Got Tonight" to an empty theatre, an usher approaches Mr. Shue and tells him "he's got what it takes" and evidently this is enough for Will and he ditches his Broadway dreams for his kids. (this would only happen in a Glee made for TV universe)

The kids decide to sneak out and experience New York and let the city write the song for them. (this I believe would happen) We are then treated to a montage of color, and song mash ups of more than I few songs I don't recognize. Were they originals? I think I hear "New York, New York" and some remnants of a few others, but I would have to watch it again to be sure. One thing I know for sure is I'm bored.

Back to writing what will be the most important song of their lives (why wait till the last minute?) in their hotel room. Brittany and Artie belt out a hilarious original song homage to a cup, and we see that Brittany just may be able to sing. The boys advise a "zombie whose trying to poop" Finn that he should ask Rachel out on a date while in New York. He texts her to meet him in Central Park, dressed up, and he takes her to world famous Sardis for dinner. While there, Rachel meets none other than Broadway legend Patty Lupone who tells her to "never give up". In a touching street scene, Puck, Artie, Mike, and Sam serenade the two with, "La Bella Notte", but just before the deal-sealing kiss, Rachel tells Finn she can't kiss him and leaves Finn alone on the street. (not really because the other boys are still there singing)

Kurt wakes Rachel up the next morning and tells her they are going to breakfast at Tiffany's, which consists of bagels and coffee outside the closed flagship store. While there, Rachel confides to Kurt that although she loves Finn, she realizes that she needs to got to New York and fulfil her dreams of stardom and nothing can deter her from that. Kurt takes her to the Gershwin theatre and suggests they break in so that she can make her decision. Once inside they are discovered by a theatre usher who knows exactly why they are there, and he give them 15 minutes onstage. If you haven't already guessed, my Download Pick of the Week is, "For Good", which Rachel and Kurt sing on the actual Wikid stage. I don't think you need to be a Wikid fan to feel the power of this one. Rachel now knows that the stage is her number one love.

On to Nationals! A stellar all girl show choir perform Usher's "Yeah" and we see Sunshine from Vocal Adrenaline have a moment with Rachel in the girls bathroom. Rachel coaches her through her stage fright to make things right after she wronged her when she came to McKinnley. Sunshine and Vocal Adrenaline sing, "As Long As you're There", which was good, but at this point my eye lids were beginning to get a bit heavy.

Just before New Directions were to take the stage, Finn and Rachel have a moment and they open to sing the Glee club's original, "Pretending" which is evidently so powerful, the two end the song with a passionate kiss. They then pump up the tempo with their original, "Light Up The World". If the Glee club, wrote, choreographed and performed that song in one night, then the kids don't need to travel back to Ohio, because they should all be working on Broadway. (this would only happen in a Glee, made for TV universe) It, of course, gets the crowd jumping.

Jesse tells Finn and Rachel that their kiss was unprofessional and that it may cost them the title. Which it does. The New Directions place 12th overall and travel back home.

So they didn't win at Nationals. You had to know that they wouldn't. We need a set up for next year and while I'm on that topic, are they all going to be seniors next year? I know this is the finale of Season Two, but it seems like three years/seasons. Anyway, stay tuned next season for more Santanna, Brittnay love, Rachel and Finn love, Kurt and Blaine and newbies, Mercedes and Sam!! Will Shue and Emma finally get it on?? Or will Shue and Sue?

We will have to wait a summer to find out, but I'm hoping it's worth it.

Glee Goes To Prom

Oh, the excitement of Prom! After weeks of posturing for Prom King/Queen by members of the Glee club, the moment finally arrived. Figgins, in a meeting with Shue and Sue, revealed that Air Supply, the Prom entertainment, had cancelled, leaving Prom without any musical entertainment. He offered the Glee club the job with payment, to which Shue accepted. Shocker, I know.

Mercedes, dateless and depressed about it, aligned with Rachel to offer Sam the opportunity to not only escort both Mercedes and Rachel to the prom, but they pooled their money together so that no one would need to be financially stretched by costly attire and such. My question is was there enough left over for the booze? Rachel, while rehearsing Adele's, "Rolling In The Deep" gets a surprise visit from none other than Jeese St. James. He apologizes to Rachel for hurting her and she not only accepts, but invites him to join her and Sam and Mercedes to Prom. Sucker. I can't wait to see what the evil Jesse has up his red satin sleeve.

Blaine reveals to Kurt that he is less than excited about the prospect of going to Prom with Kurt since the last time he went with a boy to a dance, bullies beat them up. Kurt, child-like in his innocent excitement, urges Blane to face his demons and buck up. Kurt models his version of the Prom tuxedo, complete with a kilt. Quite edgy and fashionable if I do say so myself. Finn agrees when he exclaims, "Dude, that rocks! It's like gay Braveheart", but both Burt and Blaine are worried that the gay Braveheart look will only put them in danger.

Karofsky and Santanna, both Bully Whip protectors at school, escort Kurt to all his classes so that he will not be bullied by slushie tossing homo-phobes, but as Kurt opined to Karofsky, no one seems to care about Kurt's being gay anymore. Wasn't it Karofsky that Kurt was being bullied by? But Kurt gets the ultimate closure on the subject when a tearful Karofsky sincerely apologizes for torturing Kurt.

Meanwhile, Brittany is pondering the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg in cooking class, when Artie, determined to win her back, sings a Prom proposal of, "Isn't She Lovely" that was brilliant. Brittany declines and announces that she is going alone and will dance with everyone else's dates. Quite a coup! Artie, now resigned that he has "nothing to live for" decides that he will help Puck to spike the Prom punch. When Sue catches him, she takes him into her office and hilariously interrogates him with the threat of some seriously scary tooth pulling tools, but Artie won't give up Puck. Besides, the "spike" in the punch was only lemonade.

My download pick of the week, surprisingly, is Artie, Puck and Sam's rendition of "Friday" that turns an oh-so-bad song into something good. Leave it to Glee. Rachel, singing solo, "Jars Of Hearts" grabs the attention of Finn, who is NOT distracted by the beautiful Quinn, much to her amorous advances. He only has eyes for Rachel and proves it when Rachel and Jesse are too close for Finn's comfort dancing and he steps in and a shoving match between Finn and Jesse ensues on the dance floor. Where are the punches? I kept waiting and it never happened but resulted in Finn and Jesse being tossed from the Prom. This caused Quinn to slap Rachel across the face in anger. Now, I would have flattened Miss Cinderella right there in the girl's bathroom, but Rachel says "she appreciated the drama of it".

The Prom Queen and King are announced and looky here, it's Karofsky and Kurt! Shocker (not really, cuz Beckeye dropped that spoiler weeks ago). The announcement sends Kurt running and Blaine running after him. Kurt is in tears because all the hate he thought had subsided had now bubbled to the surface. He decides to face up and go accept his crown and Figgins announces the dance between the King and the Queen. (do you really think this would happen in reality?) Kurt whispers to Karofsky that this is his chance to come out, and Karofsky runs out, unable to do seal the deal. The ever adorable Blaine steps in and dances with Kurt to Mercedes and Santanna's rendition of "Dancing Queen".

With all the drama that is Prom, the one thing that is for sure is the bond that the Glee clubbers have with one another. With two episodes left, and one taking place in New York for the Finals, the story takes an interesting New Direction. Jesse St. James is back, but what trouble does he have up his sleeve for the New Directions? AND I don't like or trust him. But I'm so glad to see him back. It gives the Finn, Rachel and Jesse love triangle so much more cred.

It should be an exciting next two episodes.

Circling The Waters

Someone shoulda wore one that said "Jumped Shark".

You know I love me some Glee.

But last night was not the best episode I've ever seen. What's going on here with what used to be the best show on TV?

Rachel needs a nose job when Finn dorkily punches her in the face during dance rehearsal? Coulda saw that one coming. Poor suffering Rachel does not like what she sees when she looks in the looking glass. Which, of course, turns into this week's lesson. Embrace your least likable qualities because they make you unique. And evidently annoying too. WHO gets the consent of their Glee club before deciding to get a nose job?

Queen Quinn decides that Prom Queen is the only way she and Finn will reach the top of the social hierarchy, so she begins a full out campaign and will take down anyone who tries to stop her. Finn and Quinn are so sickeningly annoying in the choir room, that I want to scream and Santana is at her evil best as she hatches a plan to get Kurt back to McKinnley to win the votes of everyone for Prom Queen. A closet lesbian/Lebanese, she figures out that Karofsky is gay and threatens to out him or be her "beard" so that they can both hide the fact that they are gay behind their relationship.

Is everybody on Glee gay? It certainly seems that way.

Lauren and Puck decide that they too are throwing their hats into the Prom King and Queen contest and Lauren digs up the dirt on Quinn. Seems she was a fat, awkward kid named Lucy who got teased at her old school. Story is that she lost weight, got a nose job and bleached her hair and "Lucy Caboosey" is a thing of the past. Until Lauren pastes her Lucy image all over the school. And this is endearing? More like ridiculous.

McKinnley and the Glee club get Kurt back, but not before a serenade at McKinnley High from Blaine and The Warblers. The way I see it right now, The Warblers are the only redeeming thing about last night's episode and the prospect of no Darren Chriss/Blaine Warbler music is depressing at best.

Last night's message, while well intended, got lost in a sea of sub par music (save for "Somewhere Only We Know"/Warblers and "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty"/Quinn and Rachel ) and mixed messages. Even Gaga anthem, Born This Way, was un-extraordinary, at best.

When did my favorite show jump shark?

Baby It's Cold Outside

I must admit that I bought Glee the Christmas album on Friday, whilst decorating my holiday hearth and enjoyed MCKinnley Highs versions of the classics. After viewing last night's episode, I decided that the music warmed my heart all over again, but in a different way. Last night's episode also dealt with ice cold heartbreak against the backdrop of the most cheerful time of the year.

Brittany, Santa, gifts, magic, innocence and reality were woven into a touching/cheesy story line for Artie and Brittany. Brittany still believes in Santa. Could this be possible? I know a woman who told me once her high school-aged daughter still believed in Santa, so it's plausible in my world. What's even more plausible is the romance blossoming between Artie and Brittany right before our eyes. Cheese aside with the entire Glee club conspiring to keep Brittany in dream land, Brittany asks Santa, who can do anything, to make Artie walk again. Artie, determined to save Brittany from disappointment, enlists Coach Bieste to don a Santa suit and go to Brittany's house and tell her sometimes miracles don't happen. Bieste does a great job giving Brittany her spoon full of sugar with her dose of reality, but Brittany is devastated. I know I had a lump in my throat when the sight of Artie standing and almost walking with the help of modern medical advances. I gotta wonder what kind of insurance Bieste has to afford the latest in medicine.

Rachel and Finn, estranged since Rachel's indiscretion with Puck, awkwardly dance around each other until Rachel decides to ask Finn to meet her in the auditorium. In the backdrop of lighted blue (the color of Hanukkah) Christmas trees, Rachel tries to apologize in the best way she knows how, with a song. Finn confused and torn tells her he's not interested and leaves. She then sings a lovely cover of the Karen Carpenter, "Merry Christmas Darling". She somehow convinces him to accompany her to buy a new tree for the choir room, but ends up stealing a kiss. Finn, disgusted by betrayal by both of his recent girlfriends officially breaks up with her and leaves her alone. Did he leave her there or did he drive her home? That's what this mother was thinking, but I have to say I have been where Finn is and I can't blame him.

Shue, alone for the holidays and wrestling with Emma's new marital status, pulls Sue's name in the company Secret Santa. A hilarious and classic story line plays out as Sue and her sidekick Becky, pull of the Grinch-iest caper. Sue rigged the Secret Santa to have only her names in the hat. Furious, Shue takes the presents back from Sue with the intention to donate them to a local children's charity. He is unable after Sue and Becky give the Glee's/Who's down in the choir room/Whooville the Grinch treatment. Right down to the green face, gloves and song, (accompanied by artist K. D. Lang). I predict this will become a classic and will be funnier and more relevant after viewing it again. I loved it. I have to say that I like this humble Shue. Especially when he's not pining after Emma. Sue breaking into Shue's apartment after the sound of the Glee club singing causes her heart to grow two sizes that day, was a fitting ending to "A Very Glee Christmas". Sue Sylvester just may be the most lovable villain in recent times.

Finally, we can't forget Kurt, who seems to be right where he belongs at Dalton Academy. "Baby It's Cold Outside" sung with Warbler, Blane, is my Down Load Pick of the Week, but that's probably got more to do with the fact that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is my favorite Christmas carol. Blaine and Kurt did a fine job with the duet in the fabulous Dalton study, and I even sense a bit of chemistry brewing between the two. This should get interesting.

In the end, this week, it was all about the music. The music that accompanies our holiday spirit and fills the soul with memories of Christmas' past, present and future. And at this time of the year, I couldn't think of a better gift.

Happy ThanksGLiving

Bullets for a Thanksgiving edition of the Daily Dandy and not all Glee......spread around just like side dishes on your plate.

• So here's what you missed on Glee.....Glee clubbers at McKinnley tackled some seriously relevant and topical teen issues last night. Bullying and gay bashing were addressed in McKinnley school principal Sue Sylvester's office, where she took a staunch "no tolerance" policy and expelled the bullying student. But not before she bashed gay student Kurt by calling him "Lady". After Kurt protested, she softened her gay bashing by dubbing him with a more tame, "Porcelain".

• Kurt's dad and Finn's mom got married and the glee club was the band. A righteous ceremony production ensued and Finn serenaded his family and new brother Glee style, with "Just The Way You Are." Everybody danced and a few tears of joy were shed.

• I bet you though I was gonna say that "Just The Way You Are" was my download pick of the night, but you are wrong. Did you see Mr. Shue doing his Buble impression during "Sway with Me?" Dead sexy...I'm downloading that one pronto.

• Baby won the Silver Ball trophy. Dancing With The Stars newly crowned champion, Jennifer Grey took home the coveted prize and nobody shot out their TV and held a standoff with police!!

• I'm not cooking tomorrow and I'm not happy about it. My family will be celebrating at a club. The nice thing is that we will all be together and no one has to do any dishes, but Thanskgiving is about being at HOME with your family and unbuttoning your belt buckle just a tad while putting your feet up on the couch. My kids are pissed, so I bought a turkey and I will cook it tonite so we can have leftovers. Besides, My Tommy is playing tomorrow and I'd rather be in front of the TV instead of in front of the stove. For that, I am thankful.

• Come to think of it, there are so many things and reasons I am thankful this year. What are you thankful for?

• I'm also thankful to be part of this blogger community. I wish you and all of yours a healthy, happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Peace.

Bieste's Boys

Ok, so she's no Giselle.

In fact, she's not very feminine at all. But I would have say that when the Glee club's boys told Coach Bieste that she's pretty, I agreed with them. I think I'm lucky because I can see beauty in almost anything, and last night I saw Coach Bieste (Dot Jones) for her beauty. That was, of course, after her character gained my sympathy. I couldn't believe Mr. Shuester told her that the Glee Club boys were using a lingerie clad mental image of the coach to "cool off" their amorous advances to their girlfriends who won't "put out". There's a time to lie and a time to not lie, and this was most certainly a lie situation.

Then he had the nads to tell her not to take it personally. But, this is Hollywood and Glee is the brain child of a bunch of Hollywood writers, and they of course tried to make it all better by cheeze-ily having Shue give Bieste her first kiss. Cheeze.

Anyway, lets talk about the Glee club's new competition for sectionals, Dalton Academy. Hello to Blaine (Darren Chriss) who meets Kurt in the hallway of the all boys school. (Kurt is being bullied by a football Neanderthal and does not feel "challenged" at McKinnley) Dreamy Blaine explains to Kurt that the Glee Club at Dalton are like rock stars and he takes Kurt by the hand to an impromptu performance of "Teenage Dreams" where dreamy Blaine sings lead. The actual singing of "Teenage Dreams" was recorded in August and are really the voices of acapella sensations "The Beelzebubs" from Tufts University in Medford, MA. Hell ya! This coming from a mom of an Acapella group member.

Back to Blaine, who is absolutely dreamy and GAY, much to Kurt's pleasure. He tells Kurt not to run from his troubles but to stand up and have courage as the only out of the closet gay kid at McKinnley. Kurt finally has the courage to confront the bully who daily slams him into his locker, and WOW, the jock ends up kissing Kurt on the lips!!! I did NOT see that one coming at all. I'm not quite sure what happened next because it took me a second to re-group, but we find out that Kurt has never been kissed before that.

Puck is back from juvie, and he and Artie, who I think has the best male voice on the show, sing a sick rendition of Bob Marley's, "One Love" which is my download pick of the week. They form a strange partnership that revolves around community service and chicks and scheme to get Brittney and Santana to go out with them. Puck's probation officer does not find Puck's idea of community service appropriate and threatens to send him back to juvie if he does not comply. Artie tell him he's going to tutor Puck in Geometry if Puck will tutor Artie in chicks. Please don't send Puck away again. Thanks. Glee is much better with him.

The girls of Glee put on a smokin' hot mash-up of two of my faves, "Living on a Prayer" and "Start me Up", by two of my favorite rock and roll bands, and the costuming is seriously HOT! The boys dedicate their mash-up performance of "Stop in the Name of Love" and "Free Your Mind", to Bieste, who they serenade, all handsome in their vintage inspired jackets and ties. Bieste accept their apology somewhat by telling the boys she really liked the performance and the episode ends in a big Bieste group hug.

Last night's episode was weak at best, and that's partially because there were not enough musical numbers for my liking. I'm liking the new Dalton Academy boy's Glee Club though. More of Blaine, please and thank you.

Oh, The Horror

I must admit, here and now......

I have never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I know. You're shocked. Someone as well read, sophisticated and cutting edge as myself, (insert chuckle here) having never experienced the cult classic, Rocky Horror Picture Show. But I have not, so I was more than looking forward to the Glee interpretation of the show.

Slightly disappointed and majorly confused is how I felt about Rocky Horror after last night's Glee episode. What last night was really about had more to do with Emma and Mr Shuester and less about Rocky Horror.

I don't live under a rock, so I have seen a few bits and pieces of the show here and there and I have seen images from the original. I will say that the Glee casting was great and that more than a couple of the musical numbers were entertaining. The shows open had me mesmerized. Those lips....Was that Quinn? I'm thinking the lips belonged to Quinn (Diana Argon) so anyone else want to venture a guess here, be my guest.

Rachel and Finn were cast in the lead roles of Janet Weiss and Brad Majors and the casting of the rest of the show scattered among the Glee club aside, Emma's new boyfriend Carl, (John Stamos) as Eddie, decked out from head to toe in leather singing was NOT a complete waste of my time, to say the least. "Whatever Happened to Saturday Night", was performed to perfection with the rest of the Glee club joining in, left me thinking it's no wonder Will is worried about Emma and Carl. These two have chemistry, and Will is beginning to feel that Carl is "winning" by making Emma a better person. She even left the crusts on her sandwich. Shocking.

Sam, cast in the part of Rocky, is a complete no brainer and he wins the award for the best one liners of the night; describing his shirtless, gold mini-shorts costume as "abulous" and the classic, "Can I get some longer shorts? I'm afraid I'm going to show some 'nuttage'." Sue is up to no good, planning an expose of the show for TV. The idea was piched to her by Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick, in a nod to the original cast members of the movie. The basis of the expose is that the show's content is far too racy for high school, but Shue won't admit to anyone, including himself that he is pushing the limits for Emma.

Shue decides that maybe the show is a little too risque, and that Sam seemed out of his comfort zone, so he tells Emma that he will now be playing Rocky and that he needs her to rehearse 'Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me'. She agrees and needless to say it's quite steamy and
Emma and Shue almost kiss....
*note to producers: Matthew Morrison is a HOT hunk of man...If you are going to flash us that ABULOUS body of his, please...wax the hair from his chest. thank you.*

Finn, freaking out about having to do a scene in his underwear, decides that he's going to walk through the halls of McKinnley High wearing nothing but boxer shorts to try and embrace his sexy-ness. He almost gets suspended. And can someone please tell me when Finn is going to haul off and punch out one of those bulling football jocks, who are always giving him shit about being in Glee club? I'd REALLY like to see that happen soon, considering he's about 3 or four inches taller and could take both of them in a fight, I'm sure...just saying.

In the end, after Mr. Shue finds out about Sue's TV expose, Mr. Shue realizes that he is putting the school, the kids and his reputation on the line for Emma. He tells her he is canceling the show and admits that he only did it to get closer to her. He drops the classic and cheesey, "If I really love you I need to back off and accept the fact that, at least for now, being with him is the best thing for you."

And I am left with burnt toast.
Maybe I'll take it with me when I go to a REAL showing of the movie. I think I need to do it and soon, otherwise I'll loose my theater geek credentials.

I'll leave you with this, which was my download choice of the night and a song even I have heard before. Not bad for a bunch of misfits....which is really what the Rocky Horror Picture show is really all about.

Wednesday:Take 2

Dear Grilled Cheezus:

I want to do a re-do of today. Instead of blogging about the spiritual episode that was inspired by your face on a grilled cheese sandwich, like I was supposed to, I ended up spending an entire day in the hospital after what I thought was going to be an early morning follow up appointment with my doctor. AND I am still in one piece.

You know what Grilled Cheezus, I want to do an entire week re-do, because this has to be one of the worst weeks of my life. But I'm sick of me being sick of sick, ok? I want this crap to end almost as badly as Finn want to touch Rachel's boobies.

After the week I have had the sight of a doctor is enough to turn me into a screaming, insulting Sue Sylvester. The one that doesn't believe in God, not the soft one who loves her special needs sister like I normally am. I believe in you Grilled Cheezus. I know that the medical events of the past week must somehow be a test of my faith in you. Yet, I still choose to believe. Because I believe that I'm at the finish line and today's developments were just a test of my strength. And I'm strong.

Did I pass Grilled Cheezus?? Can I go back to normal now? I promise I will NEVER go to an emergency room and not use the hand sanitizer. Swear. And I promise to do everything I'm told so that I feel better soon. I'll even go to church like Kurt AND wear a fabulous hat, Grilled Cheezus. I'll even make more of your fabulous grilled cheese sandwiches in my (how brilliant) George Foreman grill!

And I promise, Grilled Cheesus, I won't even eat you.

You gotta promise to make this all go away. OK?

We got a deal?

xoxox-

Candy

Sex On A Stick

Oooh baby, baby.

"It's a Britney Spears sex riot!" Sue Sylvester shouts as she pulls the fire alarm on McKinnley High's Glee club performance for the high school assembly.

And it was.

Rachel in a half shirt, braids and school girl skirt singing, "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Brittany in her sex slave costume, gyrating all over the screen, (the girl is an amazing dancer) with a massive python draped over her shoulders, and the Glee club and Mr. Shuester performing a super sexed up version of, "Toxic" in the school gym, causing the aforementioned sex riot. And Jacob the Jew?? Creepy at best.

Not only did Sue Sylvester catch the Jewish Afro King stroking the salami, naked, in the library while watching a video of Rachel, but after he spies Rachel in the belly bearing, school girl look, he offers to kill his parents and then give Finn his house for Rachel. This episode was supposed to be about self awareness and expression, but it somehow turned out to be more about sex and fantasy. Is this Brittney Spear's legacy?

John Stamos is introduced as Emma's boyfriend-dentist and while working on their teeth, he inadvertently takes the kids on a nitrous oxide induced fantasy world that apparently is dominated by Brittney Spears. Cool, together and drop dead handsome, Carl (Stamos) has Shue worried about loosing Emma. And Shue turns into a complete turn off. EWWW, Shue. I thought he was so much cooler than that. I actually threw up a little in my mouth when he and Emma were sitting in his ridiculous, new bright yellow corvette he bought while singing, "Sailing"...

Artie and Finn both get what they want, which is back on the football team and Quinn does not get what she wants, which is back with Finn. Surprisingly, she formed an alliance with Rachel only to trick him to see if he would bite. I find it hard to believe that the once "untouchable" Quinn would put herself in that position, but it was somewhat endearing.

Hot, steamy, sexy Glee last night was not one of my favorite episodes, but it somehow managed to answer some major plot questions as well as turn up the heat in the room. Can't you just see Britney Spears? At home, viewing the tribute episode with her family, a bucket of fried chicken at her feet (she is country, after all), drum stick in hand, wiping her oily, free hand on the front of her shirt, "See mama, look I told you, I'm so sexy!!!"

AssBraham LinColon

How gLorious that Glee has finally arrived, and boy it's good to be back at McKinley High! The best show on television is back!!!

The glee clubbers, fresh off a summer break find themselves back at school and the target of Jew fro-Jacob's anti-glee club media blitz. In a hilarious video montage, he entitled "Gay News" Jacob berates, belittles and drags through the mud the good names of the Glee clubbers at McKinley. And nobody wants to join a club with a bad rep. Hell bent on beating Vocal Adrenaline, the New Directions know they need to recruit some new members to reach it's goal. Shue comes up with the idea of a "big song; song of the year" sung for the entire student body, so that everyone can see how cool and fresh the glee club really is and attract some new blood to audition.

The cast then throws down a seamless rendition of mega-hit, Jay-Z's "Empire State", choreographed in the school court yard. The ensemble piece showcases the endless talents of all cast members and makes us remember why Glee is a superstar in it's own right. But it doesn't work and only serves to bring students to deface the New Directions sign up sheet with names like "Buttface McBallnuts" and the aforementioned "AssBraham LinColon". Classic stuff.

A new football Coach is introduced to Sue and Shue by Principal Figgins. Ken has suffered a nervous break down and has been replaced by a woman interestingly named, Beaste. And yes, it's pronounced Beast. She starts talking to Figgins about budget cuts and the ridiculousness of a cheerleading squad with a bigger budget than the team they cheer for and she makes an enemy out of Sue. Not smart. What's surprising is that Beast brings Sue and Shue together as allies, and they agree that three is a crowd in their budget play ground. Sue gets in Beast's face and does mean things like sending her 25 pizza's unannounced and playing bully in the teachers lounge. She hopes it will send her packing and it almost does, after Will plays along and ostracizes Beast in the teachers lounge. It also costs Finn his position on the football team.

Finn and Rachel are still a couple but Artie and Tina have broken up because Tina and Mike are now an item after hooking up at Asian camp over the summer. Artie is heartbroken, and wants to join the football team to try and win Tina back so when Finn wheels Artie in to Coach Beast to tell her he wants to audition, Beast freaks out! After being embarrassed by Shue and Sue in the teacher's lounge, Beast tells Shue that she had heard about Sue and expected as much, but that people told her that Shue was decent and that they were wrong. You could almost feel the tension in Shue's struggle as he carries out Sue's plan. Beast goes back to the locker room and cries and soon after Finn wheels Artie in. Beast thinks this is all a ploy to make her look bad an she kicks them both out for good.

Rachel continues her self-absorbed journey through life as she encounters a new Fillipina exchange student in the girls room and invites her to come and "worship her while she sings" and audition for glee club. She gets the surprise of her life when newcomer, Sunshine, (teen pop star Charise), starts singing Lady Gaga's "Telephone" and Rachel is compeled to join in a feisty duet with the girl. Sunshine is amazing and Rachel is threatened but she's not the only one challenged.

Finn hears a new kid singing in the shower after football and invites him to try out for glee. Sam Evans comes and rocks "Billionaire" as the boy cast joins in. This was the song of the night. I dare say it was better than the original and I'm calling this my gLipod pick of the week. But there was so much good music this week, I'll just have to download it all!! Sam agrees to audition for glee club. He fails to show after he sees Beast kick Finn off the team and he then becomes McKinnley's quarterback.

Quinn wants back in on the Cheerios and Sue cuts her down without any chance, as well as Finn when he tries to audition for Cheerios. Funny audition for Finn, a la Will Ferrell "Old School" and the scene with Becky, the Cheerio with Down Syndrome is wonderful. But Sue's merciless tirade, filled with more cold, fake boob references than I could jot down, to Santana, after learning about her summer boob job, give Quinn the in she needed. Quick as a flash Quin is back in a Cheerios uniform and head Cheerio, much to Santana's dismay. The two have a bitter cat fight in the hallway and Shue breaks it up just in time.

Shue finds out that Rachel sent Sunshine to a crack house to audition and Rachel cops an "I did it for the team" attitude, never admitting that the truth is, she does not want to share the spotlight. Shue tells Rachel she has to make it right, and Rachel tells Sunshine to come to the auditorium to audition. Sunshine performs a powerful performance of "Listen", from "Dreamgirls" and she blows them away. I suddenly remember seeing this Charise singer on the Oprah show a few years back and she is super young and crazee talented. She is in the club.

Shue gets summoned to Figgins office where-and this is CRAZY-Sue and Brittney are lying about Coach Beast inappropriately touching Brittney. Shue immediately reminds Brittney the seriousness of an allegation like that and the repercussions of a charge like that on one's life and Brittney caves like the little school girl that she is. She utters that she made the whole thing up and then she utters something else completely inappropriate about "wanting to touch Beast's breasts herself". Sue is furious and I decide that this was a low blow, even for Sue.

But Sue always has the last word. She makes a call to Vocal Adrenaline's new director, Cheyenne Jackson from 30 Rock. They steal Sunshine for the cheap price of a condo for Sunshine and her mom and green cards. Sunshine says she might have stayed, but Rachel was mean to her by sending her to a crack house. Rachel swears she did it for everyone else, but Finn gets her to admit she did it because she does not want to share the spotlight. Rachel then sings the classic, "What I did for Love" to close out the episode.

I want more. I love this cast. I loved this episode. I love Glee.
Next week: The Britney Spears episode.....I can hardly wait.