Dog Gone Brilliant!

So I've got this new dry cleaning service that picks up the dry cleaning one day and delivers it to my door a few days later and I'm very happy with their service, so far. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about my dogs.

I leave a purple bag on a hook, filled with the dry cleaning, twice a week for pick up and lately I notice that my dogs will go berserk, barking furiously when the big purple van pulls into the driveway. The barking is not unusual. My dogs bark at everything that passes by; runners on the street, people on bikes, UPS and Fed Ex trucks, but not like they do when the purple van shows up. I can always tell when the Zoots guy is here because they go crazy; like they are up scratching and clawing at the window crazy.

Today I needed to ask my dry cleaning driver a question, so when I heard the dogs causing a rukus, I knew he had arrived. I carefully stepped outside and shut the door behind me, but it just barely drowned out the mayhem that the dogs were creating on the other side. I proceeded to talk to my pleasant driver and take care of business. When we were done, I apolgized to the driver for the dogs and I said, "I'm so sorry. I'm not quite sure what it is about you or your van, but my dogs seem to have a problem with you."

The driver smiled and said, "Oh I'm sorry. Well, would you please give the dog these?" In his hand he held two Milk Bone dog treats. " I always leave them on the front porch stoop, by the bag and I don't want to forget today." he said.

It was like a light went on in my head. I sort of chuckled and asked him to wait a second and I walked over to the door and let the clamoring, barking dogs outside. The same two dogs that were ferouciously clawing to get out  immediately turned into calm, sweet,  tails wagging dogs who went over to the driver and gave him a hearty welcome. I immediately understood. They were friends, and their Pavlovian response to the purple van was not at all what I had thought it was. My dogs wanted their twice weekly treat from their new friend the dry cleaning guy.

I was happy to know that my dogs aren't at all ferocious. In fact, it just solidified the "man's best friend" thing in my mind. Because before today I'm not sure that the driver understood that when he visited my home to pick up/dropoff , he was being anxiously awaited by his two new best friends.

Dogger Depression

SEE BUDDY

Remember him? This is my beloved 8 year old Boxer Buddy. And do you remember that I just lost my baby girl dog, Jingle,who was 9 years old, no more than two weeks ago? We all took it hard, as she was a member of our family and it still stings. But Buddy? He is taking it the hardest.

I think Buddy is depressed. Is that possible?

Buddy and Jingle were like peas and carrots. They grew up together and shared everything. They even slept in the same crate together every night; with the door open, so I know it was their choice.

It wasn't a romantic love they shared, it was more like a brother-sister love and Buddy has been lost without her. It's so heartbreaking to see him lay around and sort of sulk. He still has Amos, the boss, and the Alpha of the group so he's not completely alone, but I never realized how tough the loss of one of the pack was going to be on Buddy. And Jingles, his favorite one.

What do I do? Do they have doggie shrinks? Does he need doggie Prozac or anti depressants or will this ride it's course out while he adjusts?I mean, we all have to adjust. The thing that worries me is that Amos is the old dog. We aren't quite sure how old Amos is, because he was a rescue dog, but I know his age is somewhere in the teens. He's in great shape, but I'm worried that when it's Amos' time how Buddy will handle it? As it is right now, he's requiring a lot more attention and we are more than happy to give it to him.

Today I'm in no position to get another dog. I've had three dogs for close to a decade and I've loved every minute of it. Would I do it again? Hell NO. Yet, the boys seem so lonely without her.

I just want to see the little spring creep back into Buddy's step. I somehow think Jingles would have wanted it that way.

Tremendous Tuesday

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house.

'Talking Dog for Sale'

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young...I wanted to help the government so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy was amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."

See Buddy: The Treat Mafia

See Buddy.

Buddy has fallen in with the wrong crowd and now is a member of a vicious street gang called, "The Treat Mafia".

See The Boss.

The Boss, and his colleagues believe they are in the business of "Treat Management".

See The Dame.

The Dame is, by far, the most ruthless member of The Treat Mafia. Her bite is much worse than her bark if she is denied her share of a treat. And without regard for consequences.

See their hangout.

The Treat Mafia patrol their hangout without mercy. Anyone who enters, gets the squeeze for a treat, and when they want it they want it now!

Or else.

And The Dame isn't one to be denied... If you know what's good for you.

The last guy who denied them a treat was never seen or heard from again.

Message on the street was, "he was with Luca Brazi, sleeping with the fishes."

Nick That Name

Nick nack paddy whack, I love to nick a name.

I have this thing, at times it can be annoying, where I give everyone a nick name. It's an issue. It's a personal play on words and I do it all the time. Doesn't matter who you are, I will twist up and change up your given birth name to suit me. Can't quite figure out why I do it. It just happens.

Take my dogs for example. Buddy, Jingle and Amos. Three fine dog names who need no elaboration or explanation for most people. Me? Heck no, I gotta twist and turn. All three have "Asian" names. Don't ask me why, for I cannot explain.

Buddy is Mee Soo.

Amos is Mouser

Jingle is Miss Ming.

Then, I always take it a few steps further. Mee Soo just turned into Soo, which then turned into Soonie, which then turned into Soonie Bird which now stands at Bird.

Miss Ming turned into Miss which turned into Miss-a-Ming which turned into Mingy which some how resulted in Ga-ning which now stands at Ga. Weird right? Go figure.

Mouser tuned into A-mouse which turned into Mouse-man which turned into Mouse-sir which now stands at Sir.

These could all change when the mood strikes me. Then there's my babies. Given both strong and beautiful names, I had to go and mix things up and destroy the sanctity of their birth names.

We'll start with Frick. Without telling you her given name, I some how worked that name into Crinkle which ended up being Crink. It stuck. The ENTIRE family calls her Crink which I then variated into Mink, Minken or Miss Minky.

Then Frack, named after his dad, he was given a nick name at birth, so as to differentiate between the two. I turned that into "the (insert name here)-er" which turned into the (insert name here)- mo laker, which turned into laker, then twisted and now stands at just Mo. I call him Mo or Mo Mo regularly.

My Guy? He's just honey, but recently that has evolved into Hunny Bunny which changed to Bunny then Honey B and now stands at Honey Bear.

Bizarre. I know. I never said I was normal. I think it runs in the blood. The kids call me Momma, which somehow became Nummner which now stands at Num.

In this house you never know what you will be called, but you can bet it will stick whether you like it or not.

See Buddy In Love

See Buddy.

Buddy is in love. Awww, ain't love grand.

But, Buddy has a confession to make. Lately, Buddy has been feeling a bit smothered.

But what's a dog in love to do? When it's quiet and he's alone, sometimes he just feels like shouting, "You're not the boss of me."

Poor Buddy. He knows the deal. Truth be told, she IS the boss of him. Buddy is a sucker for a nice set of legs and a cute face.

Then there's him.

He's always sniffing around Buddy's girl, trying to mount her and mark his territory. When it comes to her, Buddy pretty much has no choice but to tolerate the other man.

But don't feel bad for Buddy.

Buddy is very wise.

Because he knows, when a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Good boy Buddy! Good ole' sly dog.

Desparately Searching The Dog Whisperer

My dogs suck.

There, I said it. I love them very much and really wouldn't want to live without any of them, but sometimes I feel like they rule my life. I have 3 dogs too many, and they most certainly subscribe to a "pack" mentality because they gang up on me regularly.

They know that I am a sucker for a cute face and they work that fact to their advantage.

Lets take a look at the three of them individually, and by order of age.

Amos-Amos is the black and white Jack Russell Terrier. Amos was a stray that My Guy got at a local dog shelter seven years ago who was severely abused. We aren't quite sure of the exact age of Amos, but the vet has "guess-timated" his age around 12 or 13 years old. He had been adopted by families twice, both times he was brought back for biting and nasty behaviors. He also had severe hip problems, from being abused, and was on the block to be put to sleep. When My Guy saw Amos, he was told that Amos was un-adoptable and to take him out of consideration. Of course, after playing with him for a bit and then taking him for a walk, he pleaded with the powers that be at the shelter to adopt Amos, exclaiming that this was the only dog for him.

He went through a vigorous adoption process and was cleared to adopt Amos on the condition that he would give Amos the proper surgery for his hips and because My Guy was a single man at the time and could devote his full attention to Amos's needs. Needless to say Amos is a different dog today than he was seven years ago. He came to live with us; myself, my two children and my two dogs, 3 years ago. Amos adjusted to family life and the rest of the dog pack beautifully. So much for the opinion of the "powers that be" at the shelter. He is a very intelligent dog and very intuitive and is the best cuddler in the world.

Amos is the true alpha of the pack. Boss Hog of all the other dogs (and sometimes me) for sure, and a mama's boy. As I type this, he is "allowing" me to share my desk chair with him. He has 80% of the chair, allowing my ass the remaining 20%.

Jingle-Jingle is the fawn pug and the only female dog in the pack. Miss Ming, as she is affectionately known, is 6 years old and is the sweetest, little pain in the ass dog ever. She snorts, farts, snores and sheds. Jingle has to be on top of me if I am sitting on the couch watching TV, god forbid any of the other dogs get closer to me than she does and she is a little spitfire. She takes no crap from any of the other dogs and will let them know if she has reached her limit with them in no uncertain terms. She is an excellent watch dog, but will bark at the slightest thing and loud and often. This, of course, sets off a chain reaction of the other two, which leads to a cacophony of endless dog barking. She is also the trash queen, as she sees any unattended trash barrel as a new world which needs exploring. Of the three, I have to say that Jingle is the most disobedient, yet the lowest maintenance dog.

Buddy-Buddy is a 5 year old boxer and the star of The Daily Dandy Post's entitled, "See Buddy". Buddy is a love, but he is my problem child. Spastic, mischievous and supremely energetic, Buddy gets into trouble, A LOT. But with a face like that he regularly gets away with it and he knows it. Garden hoses, potted plants, basketballs, newspapers; anything out side is free game to Buddy. If for some reason the garage doors were left open, Buddy will drag out hockey bags, golf balls, tools, trash, shovels and anything else that strikes his fancy. He lifts his leg wherever and whenever he sees fit, and this includes inside the house, and he is a slobber-er. Yup, long drool threads that hang from his jowls, threatening any outfit I,or anyone in the house is wearing. Buddy is sweet and plays stupid, but he is much smarter than he thinks we think he is.

My dogs have their own staff. I'm not kidding here, Buddy and Jingle go to Doggy Day care on Mondays and Buddy occasionally works with the trainer there. Amos used to go to work daily with My Guy, but because he's now a family dog, he's "semi-retired" opting to stay home with the pack more often than not. They also have my cleaning girl, who stays with them when we travel and tends to them daily.

None of this seems to be promoting changed behavior. The dogs will listen to My Guy first, he is the true alpha, but when it comes to me, it's like they got my number. They'll behave for a little while and then they'll just do what they want anyway.

Someone please get me The Dog Whisperer stat! As I type this they are barking incessantly at a woman walking a dog down the street-inside the house! AHHHH!

Cesar Millan, TV's self proclaimed dog psychologist says:

"I rehabilitate dogs. I train people." - Cesar Millan

I need a people trainer ASAP.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Since the temperatures are still frigid outside, I thought I'd give you something to warm your heart today.

If this doesn't tug at your heartstrings, I don't know what else will.




ps-I'm a boxer mommy too!!! Awwww..good boy.
Editors Note: The words above video to "rate and comment" were not added by Candy's Daily Dandy and are no way intended to beg you to comment here. Just incase you were wondering.

See Buddy: A Christmas Tail

SEE BUDDY

BUDDY IS A FOOD-LOVING WHITE BOXER WHO ALSO LOVES CHRISTMAS.

BUDDY IS GETTING READY FOR SANTA TO COME BUT THERE IS A SMALL PROBLEM.

BUDDY HAS BEEN NAUGHTY.... OH, WHAT'S A DOG TO DO?



YOU SEE, BUDDY ATE ALL THE CHRISTMAS BROWNIES AND NOW THERE ARE NO MORE TO LEAVE OUT FOR SANTA WHEN HE COMES TONIGHT.

BUDDY TOLD HIS PACK HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET COAL IN HIS STOCKING FROM SANTA. THEY PRETTY MUCH AGREED THAT HE WAS SCREWED BUT GOOD, AND BUDDY THANKED THEM FOR THEIR MORAL SUPPORT.

THEN BUDDY DECIDED TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE AND HAVE A HEART TO HEART WITH THE MAN IN RED. THEY TALKED FOR A WHILE AND BUDDY WAS ELATED WHEN SANTA TOLD HIM THAT ALL OF GODS CREATURES, BOTH GOOD AND BAD, ON CHRISTMAS MUST REMEMBER TO KEEP PEACE AND SHOW GOOD WILL TOWARDS EACH OTHER. SANTA SAID THAT WAS MOST IMPORTANT.

BUDDY FELT MUCH BETTER AND HE REALIZED THAT CHRISTMAS WAS ABOUT MORE THAN JUST BROWNIES AND BONES.

BUDDY WAS SO HAPPY THAT HE DECLARED, I MEAN BARKED, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT"!!!!!!

HAPPIEST OF HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS FROM CANDY'S DAILY DANDY!

See Buddy

See BUDDY.

BUDDY is an energetic, sweet, over zealous, white boxer.

See BUDDY'S school bus.

BUDDY goes to school on Monday's so he can socialize in a large group with other over zealous dogs. Let's just say that yesterday was NOT a good day at school for BUDDY.

See BUDDY'S mug shot.

BUDDY is in the clink facing a possible 10-20 on multiple charges of statutory rape and aggravated sexual assault on more than a few of his female school mates.

Bad BUDDY, bad dog!