Happy Halloween

Here's hoping you don't go out on Halloween and make a complete ASS of yourself.

Have a great Halloween and a great weekend bloggers!!!

I'm Too Old For This Crap

Saturday night, being All Hallows Eve, marks the American tradition of dressing in costume and commencement of the tricks for treats. Being the mother of a teen-aged girl and boy means that my trick or treat responsibilities have changed from escorting the festivities to chaperoning the festivities. There will be no trick or treating on the streets of my sleepy little town for my kids. They tell me that they are too old and waaay too cool for that. It's now house parties on the streets of my sleepy little town. This year, the parents got together and decided that the Halloween party would be held in our small, historical town tavern, which we rented out for Saturday night.

We meticulously put together a nutritious menu of pizza, pretzels, chips, cookies, soda and candy for the shindig. There is a group of us, with spouses and significant others, that will be on hand to chaperon the evening. Truth be told, we are planning on having a better time than the kids. We've got music, goodies for the kids and plenty of alcohol for the adults, which we will discretely hide from the kids. We decided that the teens would be best served if we incorporated a philanthropic spirit, and made it mandatory to bring a canned good or non-perishable food item to benefit the town food pantry for the elderly as their admission to the party. We are expecting a few hundred kids. Good times.

But of course, there is a slight hitch, witch effects me personally. At our organizational meeting last night, I was informed that since we made costumes mandatory for the kids, that the adults must come in costume too.

UGGH! Are you kidding me?? I'm too old for this crap. Really.

I have no more desire to show up in costume, than I do to get a Barium Enema. Can't I just write a check or something??? (sorry, did I just write that out loud?)

I was wracking my brain last night trying to figure out how I could get dressed up in costume without really getting dressed up in costume. The best I could come up with is I would dress as a hippie/flower child wearing my tye dye shirt that has big bell sleeves and put a peace sign headband around my forehead.

Lame, I know.

So I ask you today to give me some suggestions for a costume that allows me to be dressed up without really being dressed up. Be creative, but the goal here is to not put much effort into the actual costume, and a no-effort costume idea for me and My Guy would be acceptable too.

Give me your best bloggers, because you are just about the smartest people I know!! And thanks.

Necessary Torture

I know it's something I have to do every year. I know how essential it is to my health. I know how important it is for the early detection of a horrible disease. But seriously??? OUCH!!

Today is my day for the yearly mammogram and I dread it every year. The twins DO NOT like the torture. See that photo above? That plastic level flattens out boobie 1 like a pancake, which results in the most uncomfortable pinching and numbing pain sensation which you must hold for what seems like an eternity. Then they tell you not to breathe!!! If that's not bad enough, the nurse then comes over, bless her little soul, and grabs boobie 2 to position it perfectly for it's own special Kodak moment.

I'm just sayin', I've never been the kind of girl who likes to be consentually "felt up" by a stranger. I prefer a little wining and dining, coupled with some intellectual conversation in the form of foreplay, but make no mistake, there is no "play" here. I wouldn't condemn the process, as yearly mammography saves lives. I'm just anticipating the degrading, painful torture that is essential for me to be a healthy adult.

And I'm really lucky.

And, (knock on wood) I'm pretty healthy.

And I live in a country where it is socially pertinent to screen for breast cancer yearly. Heck, we even have our own month and color to help us to remember.

And I have a sister who is a survivor.

And I thank god every day for the gift of her cancer-free self.

And I will submit the twins to the torture, secure in the knowledge that greater women have stood there before me and did what had to be done.

So what if I have to spend the rest of today walking around like this: I'll take the odds on the necessary torture.

Things Are Getting Weird Around Here

So I woke up at 4am this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. Why? Cuz I'm thinking about Roman Polanski. So weird, I know.

I can't quite figure out why I'm thinking about this guy, but I am. It's not like his story of extradition has been headline news recently. That story has to be at least 2 or 3 weeks old, but there it is; keeping me awake. Weird.

Seems Roman, pled guilty in 1977 to having sex with a minor, a 13 year-old girl, who he allegedly drugged with quaaludes and Champagne then had sex with at a party at Jack's house (of all places) in LA. On the eve of his 1978 sentencing he fled the country because he was afraid of being put away for 50 years. He has been in France ever since. On Sept 26th, 2009, he was arrested, at the request of the United States, as he flew into Switzerland to receive a lifetime achievement award at a film festival.

What's even weirder is that I really have no opinion on this, yet I'm thinking about it in the dark and quiet of 4 am.

Well, maybe I do. I'm thinking that this Polanski guy is somewhat of a tragic figure and a bit of a coward to boot. I'm thinking that you can't run away from your demons without facing them and that eventually they will come back to haunt you. Even when you're in you're 70's and still directing Oscar winning movies and getting lifetime achievement awards. You know dude, don't do the crime if you can't do the time. And I'm thinking about the brutal murder of his beautiful, pregnant wife, Sharon Tate by a bunch of worthless, brainwashed, drug-crazed hippies. Maybe the rape wouldn't have happened if Sharon Tate had lived to give birth to the Polanski child. They say she was the love of his life and that he worshiped her. Maybe, but it doesn't mitigate his actions at Jack's house in '77.

There's a story in yesterday's LA Times that reports that Polanski's victim, Samantha Geimer, now 46 years old, and her attorney have asked the appellate court to drop the charges against Polaski because "the unceasing publicity has disrupted her family, job and health." Seems Samantha's boss in "understandably displeased" with her and there is a real possibility that she may loose her job.

Picture this: Rich director messes up, runs away, gets away with it, and keeps winning Oscars while living large in France for years and years. Yet the victim gets the shaft back home because the LA crime fighters, who let him slip away, decide to finally grab this brass ring, some thirty years later. Hollywood couldn't produce a better script. Maybe Polanski should direct it. He could possibly win another Oscar for his efforts, heck, he's doing whatever he wants anyway.

Or maybe we should just tack another life sentence onto Manson's sentence. It's his fault anyway.

Defeat The Undefeated

Maybe it's just me.

There are now three teams left in the NFL that are still undefeated and I want them to go down HARD.

As I said, maybe it's just me.

Because I want MY team to be the only one of two teams to have ever completed an undefeated regular season. I watched Favre and the Minnesota Vikings go down to Pittsburgh yesterday with relish! I watched a fantastic football game between Miami and New Orleans and almost got my wish...almost. But the freaking Dolphins choked in the end. Now I am out for blood.

My rally cry, "Defeat the undefeated!!" Down with Indy, Denver and New Orleans.

Kill the dream. Please. Is that so wrong??

Caption Crap

"Oh Shit........"

Since you loved last week's photo I thought this one would just make your day. Or make you hurl. Offensive, for sure, but have at it anyway; caption away.

Keep Your Fingers Crossed

Today is my big day at the store.

It marks the start of our 3 day Grand Opening Celebration! I hope to GOD it works out for us. We sent out over 1500 mailers, an eblast and an advertising campaign in the local papers for what we are hoping will be a sales blow out.

We have been working hard all week preparing the store and planning all the events. We have trunk shows, and reps from my skin care lines, activities (a bingo card promotion) and specialists coming in to offer our clients the most personalized care. We are also offering....wait for it......20% off all merchandise!!!! Store wide!!!

I have been remiss in my blogging duties this week, so forgive me. Lets hope that all this work pays off and translates into big sales days.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.