Blondie P.I.

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions: 

Officer: What's 2 + 2? 
Blonde: Ummm... 4! 
Officer: What's the square root of 100? 
Blonde: Ummm... 10! 
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? 
Blonde: Ummm... I dunno. 
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. 

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. 
The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"



http://www.jokesoftheday.net/

Bring It Home Boys.

• The winter is coming. Fall has taken hold of this locale and dropped the cold air into the region like a crop duster spraying for mosquitoes. I've had to put the heat on! Time to break out the winter and  hooded coats we haven't seen since March cuz old man winter is settling down for his long Winter's nap and has grown a beard too. You think he's a Sox fan?

• We had some excellent rotisserie chicken take-out last night. The Modern Rotisserie is an upscale, gourmet take-out market in Newton, MA that we thought we'd try. The food was excellent! I got a breast and two sides; Mac and cheese (topped with Cheese-It's) and stuffing with gravy. Nothing says lovin like the cozy, delicious gourmet comfort food I had last night. Two thumbs, way up for some take-out !

• Frack is behaving! That boy has been feeling his "Senior-itis" for a few months now and he's quite possibly starting to reign it in. It's about time, too because he's been, shall we say, difficult. Frick was difficult too, but not like him. He's just stubborn. Are girls easier than boys? I'm not remembering her being too difficult. Selective memory, I think.

• I've started the Holiday shop. Now that everyone is older, the gift-buying is getting harder. Everyone has everything they need. I think a family trip is what's needed instead of a bunch of crapola that they don't need. Some team building in a warm destination is the best money spent for this family. 

And finally....

• We live to take the World Series home to Boston, where it belongs. Johnny Gomes...You be da MAN!!! Let's take it one game at a time secure in the knowledge we will see the World Series at Fenway again! Good luck tonite to the Sox and the Nation! Like it said in my Herald this morning: "sleep is overrated.".

I Blame It On Duck Dynasty

Have we, as Bostonian's and members of Red Sox Nation stumbled onto a new phenomenon? It's perplexing to say the least and kinda....

Sexy? 

Suddenly Carny Couture is here in Beantown and it's taken storm of the entire city. "Fear The Beard" can be heard as a resounding rally cry of fans alike and costume stores are joyously stocking up on novelty beards for the Fenway Faithful. But what I'm talking about today is different. Make no mistake there is nothing sexy about a person sporting a fake beard at a baseball game, but a playoff beard, a real burly man beard is another matter entirely. 

The tradition in professional sports of not shaving, thereby producing a playoff beard,  is certainly not something that the Red Sox can lay claim to. It's a time honored tradition/superstition amongst athletes and men everywhere. This year, the beard of Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli has inspired a facial fashion craze. Napoli has not shaved since Spring Training in March and has what one could call an enviable set of whiskers that could put him at the dinner table comfortably with Sy and the boys. And now my boys are getting into the groove.

My Guy, who is the most clean cut conservative man I know, answered my inquiry into his uncharacteristic five o'clock shadow with, "I'm not shaving until we win the World Series." But the funny thing was not that this was such a departure for him, the fascinating thing was that he was serious about it. My BFF and I texting during last nights game. She texted me:

"ps- Big said if the Red Sox win WS he will grow a beard!!! 10 years together and I've been trying to get him to grow a stache"

Facial hair beware! The Bearded Lady I'll never be, but if these residual beards will help us bring home another World Championship, then I'll live in what's beginning to resemble Duck Dynasty, Louisiana.

After all, the Duck Boats are gearing up for the Victory Parade. 

Overheard at Fenway Paahk Last Night.....

Sorry for the f-bomb. 

Pug Pretty

It's times like these that make me miss my baby girl Jingles: Happy Haloween Jingles.

My baby girl Frankenjingle

These are her furry counterparts:

Pugkin Latte

Wrecking Ball Pug

Chia Pug

Baked Pugtato

AstroPug

Marilyn Pugroe

Puggie The Riveter

The Little Pugmaid

Lord of the Pugs

Deep Sea Diver Pug

Puganna

Bjork Swan Dress Pug

Yoda Pug

Tin Pug

Spock Pug

Darth Pug

Case O' Pug

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/costumes-that-prove-pugs-always-win-at-halloween

Friday's Forum

Happy Friday Bloggers!

So I can keep the focus on my beloved Red Sox this weekend, I thought I would have a forum of sorts to get your opinion on a subject that is way past it's expiry date, but features a hot chick and my Red Sox so it serves my purposes exactly. Around here this subject has been beat to death by sports radio and sports bloggers alike, so lets see what you think. 

This is Erin Andrews of ESPN interviewing Mike Napoli after Game 3 of the ALCS when he hit a game winning home run off Justin Verlander. Watch this :14 second clip and decide if she's got Bieber Fever or not. You may have to play it back a few times. 

Andrews tweeted after a fan asked:

Erin Andrews        ✔ @ErinAndrews

My lord..people are unreal RT @NDisch: “@pvdj: @ErinAndrews did you almost say Justin Bieber instead of Verlander in post game interview?”

8:04 PM - 15 Oct 2013

and one minute later tweeted:

Erin Andrews        ✔ @ErinAndrews

If u really think I have Bieber on my mind, then u are soooooo right #sarcasm

8:05 PM - 15 Oct 2013

Andrews denies the error and sports media types are saying she did it and is making it worse by denying it. She's being lambasted for the controversy.

I say, WHO CARES? I bet if Joe Buck did it the world would laugh it off and make a huge parody of it that would go viral on YouTube. But Erin will suffer quietly because in their eyes she doesn't belong there and "see?? She just proved it."

Tell me what you think in the comments section!
Have a great weekend and be careful what you say in mixed company, Bloggers.

Oh The Nerve!

Holy mother....

I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder and DANG! if it isn't killing me!!! The pain is effecting every little movement I make, too. I can't sleep, I can't sit comfortably and when I walk the weight of my arm puts pain and pressure on the nerve! 

I have no idea how this happened either. It's not like I was working out, cuz I was just on vacation and I can tell you that working out was not a priority on this vacation. It started on the last day of my Florida get away at the base of my neck. I thought I had tied my bathing suit top too tight for my neck, so I loosened the knot. Nothing happened. In fact the pain then traveled down my neck to my shoulder blade and has resided there ever since. 

The kicker? I can't put my shoulder bag (my most prized personal accessory) on my shoulder or carry it on that arm. So I may have to resort to a more sensible bag, which is a fate worse than designer death. I've even begun to sound like an old woman, grunting and wincing with the pain. Even my dog has shot me a look or two when I whimper like a kitten trying to roll over on the sofa. It's been a steady diet of Advil since Sunday, which can't be good either. 

Is this what getting old is like? 

Someone just recommended a Lidocaine patch for the back area where the nerve is. At this point I'll try anything because the hot tub and the heating pad just ain't cutting it. I'm not sure how long I should wait to see a doctor as this is day 5 and it doesn't seem to be getting better. And I'm telling you right now, I ain't got no time for this!

One thing I know for sure? This injury is definitely getting on my last nerve....