Just Another Manic Monday

Random Bits from the Daily Dandy HQ:

-Mothers Day was a big success! I just got off the phone with my Mom who told me she had the BEST Mother's Day ever. Good work, my family. A nice showing by everybody.

-Today could be the start of something good. Something great? I will hope and pray. Only time will tell but this is exciting.

-The Celtics, Red Sox and Bruins all won yesterday! We live to see another day and everything is as it should be. Life is good.

-Allergies are kicking the crap out of my son. The poor kid came home last week with eyes that were practically swollen shut. I. Almost. Died. when I saw him. Poor baby, he never had problems with allergies before. He had to stay inside for a few days because everything is covered with pollen, which to him is a fate worse than death. He's better today, but still not 100.

-Gotta pay some bills. UGH.

-Got a great smokin' hot new designer bag for MD along with some other great stuff. They love me, they really love me. Life is better than good. The thing is, I wouldn't have cared if they gave me a mud pie. It's not the gift that matters. It's the fact that they cared enough to put thought and effort into surprising me with something I love.

-American Idol is down to the top three and I'm loving it! You know who I'm voting for. GO Adam! I say Adam and Gokey in the final, with Adam taking the crown. Just another tiara to add to his collection.

-And speaking of Fox, My daughter and I are excited to watch the new Fox show Glee, premiering after the American Idol finale next week. It looks hilarious. It's about the Glee club at a high school and I'm guessing the theme here is that the social rejects and losers in the Glee club become super stars in their own right. Everybody loves to root for the underdog.

-Here's hoping all you mothers felt all the love you deserve for a job well done on your special day! Nobody loves you like your mother.

Happy Monday! How was your weekend?

The Never Ending Story

*Sorry peeps, I feel compelled to jump into the fray on this one as a "journalist", fan and sports fanatic.


Manny is uncharacteristically talking to the media.

He's even eating a slice of proverbial humble pie. Choking on it, is more like it, because Manny messed up, big time. Like the thief who's not the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly sorry he got caught, Manny has successfully destroyed his status as "the greatest right-handed hitter in baseball".

He didn't burn that bridge, he blew the sucker up.

Manny being Manny just ain't what it used to be and it will never be again. It can't. He will be forever marked with the Scarlett Letter of major league baseball; the asterisk. Greater men have been here before him and now he must take his place in line behind them. Clemens, Bonds and McGwire have all been warming up a spot in the un-esteemed Cheaters Club, and Manny just passed his initiation.

And it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

There can be no doubt that Manny has been cheating. None. He got caught using HCG, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, a female fertility drug that is commonly used by "dopers" to re-start the body's testosterone production and mask anabolic steroid use and MLB suspended him for 50 games. Now, why would a doctor be prescribing Manny a fertility drug??

We know exactly why. And so does he.

The usually smug Ramirez issued an official statement yesterday, apologizing to the LA Dodgers owners, coach and fans. saying, "I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I'm sorry about the whole situation." He also said a lot more.

"I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons," Ramirez said in his statement.

We are sure what you meant to say, Manny, is that you figured out how to beat the system for all those years and all those seasons, including the ones you spent in Boston. Sports journalist and life-long Red Sox fan, Bill Simmons sums it up best in his Page 2 column on ESPN.com. In his May 7th, 2009 piece titled, "Confronting my Worst Nightmare", Simmons talks to his 6 1/2 year-old son about the prospect of the "taint" which now looms over the 2004 Boston Red Sox Championship team.

"But Manny was your favorite hitter on that team. And he tested positive later. Is he still your favorite hitter?"

"Yes and no," I say. "No, because he cheated. Yes, because whether he was cheating or not, I can't forget watching him hit baseballs on a daily basis. I just can't. You should have seen him. Perfect swing, perfect balance, perfect everything. He was a hitting savant. That's the funny thing -- he didn't NEED to cheat. The guy was put on the earth to hit."

Eventually the mighty fall hard and Manny has been nothing but self-serving and arrogant throughout his entire career. He had a swagger that went unmatched, BECAUSE he was Manny, and he thought he was above everything and everyone; including the game itself.

No more than two months ago, Manny was asked in a TV interview by a female reporter if "too much was being made of the steroid story in the major leagues.

"I don't think about that," Ramirez said. "I just play the game, go home and move on."

Manny needs to think about the fact that Manny can no longer just be Manny. He will be back in July, no doubt, and will continue to produce for the Dodgers. The question is what will happen to his swing now? Every move he makes will be scrutinized, criticized and analyzed. His career and his integrity gone, like that deep, driving shot to left field over the monster.

All because Manny decided to get high with a little help from his friends.

Gwennie, Your Challenge Has Opened A Pandora's Box Of Emotions

One of my favorite Blogger buddies Gwen, over at Everything I Like Causes Cancer has reached a blogging milestone. She hit the 600 mark. That's right, 600 posts and still going strong! Way to go Gwen, and a hearty Daily Dandy Congrats for keeping us laughing. Gwen is seriously the best! She is not only completely HILARIOUS, but sweet, smart, generous and caring. The blog world would be so much more of a LOL wonderful place, if there were more Gwens in the bloggersphere, but make no mistake, there is only one Gwen. Go check her out and tell her I sent you. (and if I ever get my butt to St. Louis Gwen, I am so looking you up for a round of drinks)

In honor of her 600th post Gwen asked us to join her in celebrating with her by finding a piece of clothing/footwear/accessory that you can't get rid of.

As she put it:

I suspect everyone has at least one piece of clothing like my pajama top: that pair of shoes you can't seem to throw in the trash despite them being broken down and soleless; that ratty-ass three-quarter-sleeve tee-shirt from the 1986 AC/DC Fly on The Wall tour that is covered in paint stains the same color as your second bathroom; that pair of jeans you finally had to make into cut-off shorts and now you can't get rid of the shorts even though your ass hangs out the bottom like a $2 hooker.

So I want you to do me a favor. Tonight when you get home from work, or today while the kiddos are napping, go find your clothing/footwear/accessory equivalent of my pajama top and take a picture of the revered item. Post the picture on your own blog tomorrow and tell us the story behind it. You don't have to link back to this post because I don't get fussy about stuff like that but please do come back and leave a comment so we can find and enjoy your stories.

I am more than happy to oblige. BUT, little did I know that the item I chose would cause a cacophony of emotions from deep inside me.

You see those raggedy-ass clogs in the picture above? Yeah, they are what's got me into a lather. See, I bought them about three or four years ago at a DSW Shoe Warehouse (read:discount). They are Michael Kors $89.00 cloggy things but I loved them to death....literally. Look at the heel of the shoe on the right, you will see that it has snapped, almost off, just barely hanging by a thread. The thing is, this is not the first time the heel on these suckers have snapped, while I was wearing them. Noooo, this would be the second time, only the first time it was the other shoe's heel that gave out. I contemplated throwing them into the trash then, but decided to research the cost of gluing the wooden heel back on because I became quite attached to the little clogs.

I loved them because they have a great wooden heel (that apparently wasn't strong), and in their prime I wore them to work with dress pants or jeans, as they crossed over into both the casual and office dress genres quite nicely. Not to mention that they are slip ons!! Yahoo for slip ons, I tell you. Easy and looked great. I was in Clog heaven. I always felt great pairing them up with my sexy jeans, they elongated the legs nicely and made be feel sassy.

Now, the good Lord above knows that I own over 6,372 pairs of shoes. Each one unique, some breathtakingly expensive, some not. The initial $89.00 investment on these shoes will be nearly doubled after I have them repaired for the second time, as the first repair cost $45 at my shoe guru's shop. But I can't let them go...After I broke the second shoe, I put them in a bag and threw them in the trash......Then I went back out the garbage can and retrieved them. Yes. I. Did. And I retrieved them again today from my car, so that I could photograph them for you. They've been in there for about a month now, the intention is to get them to the shoe guru, but I keep wrestling with the justification in my mind.

WTF is it with these shoes???? I have bought shoes twenty times more expensive, in less than three seconds, that have never let me down and performed to perfection on command. So what is it about these, inferior, cheaply made, soooo way past the season, clogs that has me in an emotional tailspin?

Christ, I need a shoe psychologist.

Odds On How Long This Guy Will Be Out Of Work

Some people are just downright brilliant. It's either brilliance or pure chutzpah, but any way you look at it, this guy has it all going for him. His name is Lawson Clarke and he was recently laid off from his job at Arnold Worldwide, a Boston based ad agency in March of this year. Clarke has launched an online resume, http://www.malecopywriter.com/ to showcase his portfolio of digital, TV and print work to potential employers.

In a takeoff of the the famously parodied Burt Reynolds centerfold spread in Cosmo Magazine decades ago, Clarke cleverly places an old-school TV in the perfect spot for viewing his "stuff". The Boston Herald reports 37 year-old Clarke said, "Had I known that taking off my clothes would get this much attention, I would have been nude years ago."
After getting a positive write up in Monday's trade mag, AdvertisingAge, Clarke reports his site received over 140,000 hits as of yesterday with no offers of employment yet, although he has been getting plenty of e-mails. One chairman of a large New York ad agency asked him, "Why are you unemployed? Do you have a personality disorder?"

The thing about this guy's site is that it's really unique and definitely entertaining. Ever the curious one, I checked it out after reading about it in the paper this morning, and found myself spending far more time perusing the site than I had anticipated. I am always in awe of creative ingenuity and talent. Clarke says that he saw the handwriting on the wall when the recession hit and began working on the site before he was laid off. He reports it took two months to grow the cheesy moustache for the photo and that the chest hair is all his.

So I wonder, with all the great press and a resume like that, what odds would Vegas place on how long this guy will be out of work?

Todays Special: TMI

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I ate some bad Mexican food and woke up feeling like a Fat Bastard.

Video may be NSFW


Sorry bloggers, I'm just happy it's not Swine Flu.

For The Discriminating Bird

SUBURB OF BOSTON: HOUSE FOR SALE/RENT:

Clean, beautiful and spacious; this hip, urban, tri-level has three bedrooms, complete with outdoor patio perches and lots of closet space.

Set in a serene wooded area, the house boasts one of the best views in the quiet suburb. Voted one of BirdLife Magzine's Top Ten Most Desirable Locations, if residents don't mind a nosy, over zealous White Boxer, Pug and Jack Russell, or a few black squirrels to contend with occasionally.

Utilities, food, free parking and wireless internet included. Just a short jump to the lush branches of the many trees above.

Occupancy availiable immediately and squatters are encouraged and welcome.

Gordon Geko: Madoff With Wall Street

So I'm reading the Boston Herald's Inside Track (gossip column) the other day, and they report that Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone have signed the deal to team up again to bring us the sequel to their 1987 hit movie, "Wall Street". Douglas played Gordon Geko, a greedy Wall Street shark who coined the phrase, "Greed is good". Douglas will be reprising his Oscar-winning role as Gordon Geko in the yet-to-be titled sequel. A spokesman for Twentieth Century Fox said, "The project is timely and relevant given the state of the economy. We need to keep the storyline under wraps, but it's literally ripped from today's headlines."

My mind immediately went to a conversation I had at my kitchen table with the parent of my daughter's friends back in January. He had come to pick his twin girls up after they had spent the night, and we were chit chatting about the Bernie Madoff scandal. Many people and philanthropic organizations from Boston were directly affected (ripped off) by Madoff's $50 BILLION dollar Ponzi Scheme, and most of them in the Jewish community. My best friend's family has been financially ruined because of this man and I asked him if he had been affected directly or knew anyone that was.

The conversation continued, him naming the numerous friends that lost money with Madoff, and we talked about the unbelievable depths of which this scheme encompassed. We shared information we had heard, some here say, some direct information from the victims, but the general consensus was that the investors in Madoff's firm had lost everything and there was no getting it back. The conversation then turned to Hollywood.

"Someone will make this into a movie," he said.
"Oh, no doubt," I replied.

We agreed that when all the information comes out about Madoff and his scheme, it would have all the makings of a Hollywood epic.

"Who will play Madoff?" I said as the casting agent in my mind went to work.

Almost in unison, we both shouted out excitedly, "Michael Douglas!"
OF COURSE...No one else could even be considered, we said. I even briefly pondered with the thought of blogging about it, so sure of the prospect of a mega-hit.

Wednesday I sent that parent friend of mine a text message that said:

I'm reading the Inside Track in the Herald today and they report that Michael

Douglas and Oliver Stone will reunite for a sequel to "Wall Street". They report

that the project is timely and relevant to today's economy. "It's literally ripped

from today's headlines." Ummmm, was our conversation about that

right on???? Great minds think alike.

To which he promptly replied:

I heard about that on the radio this morning. I agree about great minds.

Ok? So you heard it here first.