Todays Special: Pure and Simple

"Trusted for Years" is the ad slogan most remember when they think of Johnson's baby products. So logic says if you've trusted them for years enough to use their products on your baby, why not trust them enough to use their products on yourself? What you may find is a wonderful, inexpensive solution to your daily grooming routines that's not just child's play.


Johnson's Baby Shampoo- This gentle shampoo contains no soap or alcohol and is known for it's "no more tears" formula, which won't irritate a baby's eyes if it gets into them. It does, however, contain chemicals that will clean the hair and scalp effectively without stripping either. I have read reviews on this products for adults that say although it's surfactants will help to remove grease and cleanse the hair, the surfactants (wetting agents) in Johnson's baby shampoo formula are milder than ones you would find in drug store shampoos. Great for sensitive scalps; not great for oily hair. This product is gentle enough to be used every day, but best used daily by adults with short hair. This is a product designed for babies who don't have a lot of hair and users report it does not foam up enough to sufficiently cleanse longer hair. This shampoo leaves hair smooth, shiny and soft with a wholesome, clean and fresh smell.


It is also effective, when diluted with water, as a gentle make-up remover and a great make-up brush cleanser. Guys: Try this as a shaving cream for sensitive skins.



Johnson's Baby Lotion- This product is a staple in my beauty routine. A daily user of body moisturizers, I love the smell, texture and rich, effective ingredients in this moisturizer. It's fast-absorbing emollients leave skin with a soft and smooth, non-greasy feel. It's hypo-allergenic and allergy tested, and protects both babies and adults skin from nagging dryness with ease.

Can we talk about the scent? There is no product more pure and clean smelling than Johnson's baby lotion. Although it's nice to use other, higher priced fragrance body lotions, for every day moisturizing this rich formula gives the other alternatives a run for the money. At $ 3.50 for a 15 oz bottle, your minimal investment in a bottle should last you 2-3 months with every day use.

Great for stubborn dry hands and feet. Apply Johnson's Baby lotion liberally on hands and feet. Before rubbing lotion into skin completely, put on socks and or gloves. Remove socks and gloves after 15-20 minutes and you have just given yourself an inexpensive, at-home, "beauty wrap" that will be sure to improve the appearance of hands and feet.

Johnson's Baby Oil- This multi-use baby oil is a product I use much more for myself than I did with my own children. Besides millions of teens using it in the 70's as a sun-tan oil (oh, the horror!) adult women all over the world have been using this product for decades to combat stubborn dry patches. The pure mineral oil forms a soft, protective barrier on the skin which locks in moisture and protects against excessive moisture loss. Dermatologist and allergy tested, this versatile formula can be used in many ways.

As a gentle eye make-up remover, apply Johnson's Baby Oil to a cotton ball and gently rub eye area to remove make-up. It even works on water-proof mascaras, just make sure you cleanse the skin thoroughly after using, to remove the excess oil from the delicate area around the eye.

The best way to use Johnson's Baby Oil? Leave a bottle in your shower. Just as you are finished and about to get out of the shower, DONT! While the water is still running, apply baby oil all over your body, (much like you would a moisturizer), rinse off lightly, and step out of the shower and towel off. The baby oil will soak into the skin immediately and leave a silky protective moisture barrier for the rest of the day. You skin will be absolutely GLOWING!!

Pure and simple and inexpensive luxuries are the best way to describe this trifecta of beauty classics.

Go ahead and baby yourself for a change.

A Daily Dandy Public Service Announcement

You know we've all had "one of those days" when everything goes from bad to worse. Yesterday was a prime example of one of those days. While I was driving my daughter to and from and all over God's creation, trying to get the kids to their closely scheduled activities on time, I uncharacteristically began complaining about how much my life sucked. Fear not, my little cherub seemed to say, for she had just the answer for her over-stressed mom.

"You need to go to F My Life.com," she said.

"What did you just say?" I responded, in no mood for sass or games.

"It means F-my life. It's a website where people share their stories about how 'f-ed' up their lives are. Some of them are hilarious and really make you feel so much better about your own life," she explained.

I paused for a moment to ponder the reality of my 14 yr old recommending to me, quite matter-of-factly, a website with one of The Seven Dirty Words represented by it's letter in the title. Of course the blogger in me saw this as a great research opportunity and I listened intently as she extolled the virtues of the airing personal rants with the world. I weighed my options; mother teaching opportunity vs. blog fodder. Guess which won?

Then I visited the site www.fmylife.com.

It's not like I don't waste enough time on the internets and this site was no different.

Some examples I encountered that cracked me up while there included:

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
#858893 (26) - 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm by ugly

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
#864226 (25) - 04/08/2009 at 12:03am by Anonymous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
#503348 (302) - 03/21/2009 at 12:46am by Anonymous -

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML
#859604 (81) - 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm by Anonymous

Needless to say you need to check this out for yourself and if you are a regular user of FML, let me know if it succeeds in bringing you the satisfaction of laughing at yourself when it's just about all that's left to do. I have to admit to spending more time on the site than I expected, as I could completely relate to having more than a few," f my life moments" myself.

Looking At The World Through Google-ly Eyes

What would we do without Google? I cringe when I think of the possibilities.

Last night my son came home with some basic English grammar homework and figured he'd ask me for help. Considering the fact that I am a "writer" who has a Masters Degree in Journalism and someone who writes just about every day, he figured this assignment would be a cake walk for me. I would have thought so too.

The assignment was straightforward. The sections on the front and back worksheet were clearly outlined with directions; read the paragraphs and underline the parts of speech. Nouns, pronouns, conjunctions, similes, adverbs, etc. My son then looked to his mother for quick definitions of these every day parts of speech. It was almost as if a loud creaking of the opening of the squeaky door in my brain which houses such information could be heard throughout the house; the cobwebs and the moths nearly visible right there at the kitchen table. I scrambled.

"Uh, conjunctions...," I said.

The School House Rock "Conjunction Junction" anthem began playing quietly in my head. I seemed to remember, through the song, something about hooking up phrases and clauses and cargo trains.

"Conjunctions are words that connect words to other words in the sentence, " I replied.
"Huh?" he said.

His answer, far more decipherable than mine. My brain went into overdrive. I decided to start with the easy ones. Nouns and pronouns. We got through that in about three minutes. Adverbs were next. School House Rock, again, came to my rescue; mostly words ending in LY. After that I was revealed for the fraud that I am. I had no more School House anthems.

So I did what any red-blooded American writer/mother would do. I went to Google. Trusty old Google had all of the definitions we needed just a simple click away. He went right to work, armed with his new and improved conjunction definition, and all the others I was not able to define from memory. He even went back and checked his work, a sure sign he understood the assignment. I thought about how I use these same words every day while composing this blog, yet I never attribute them to their specific parts of speech. Thank God for Google, as I was able to save face in front of my son.

This was not the first time I have gone to Google for homework help, nor will it be the last. I am the first to admit that math is not my strong suit, for I have no degree in computation. Both children have surpassed my basic math skills in school and I am at a self-proclaimed disadvantage when it comes to their math assignments. Google has come to my rescue more than once. Through Google, I have even gone through brief math tutorials which have triggered rusty math skills enough so that I could help my children complete their assignments correctly. I might have even felt a satisfying sense of accomplishment for doing so. Trusty old Google.

What would I do without you?

After we completed my son's English assignment, my son said, "Thanks mom."
To which I replied, "Thank Google."

Yes We Can!

I've teamed up with my blogger friend Gwen over at Everything I Like Causes Cancer, to support her in her latest passionate project; Mr. Tennessee, Herb Odum.

Mr. Odum or Herbie, as he is known by those in his inner circle, needs your vote in the "Over 55 Mr. Bible Belt Beauty Pageant 2009". Pictured here in his swimsuit competition photograph, Herbie is described in the official pageant program, which his campaign manager Gwen sent all over the country as:

Mr. Odum is running on a pageant platform which promotes a life lived in purity and abstinence. With Gwen's loving guidance, Herbie has even been convinced to inject some "Bible Belt humor" into his campaign literature.

"How can you be sure a Mississippi girl is a virgin?

She can outrun all her brothers."

"How can you be sure an Arkansas girl is a virgin?

She can outrun the governor."

Mr. Odum credits Gwen with single handedly helping him to "break out of his shell" and dedicates his 2009 Mr. Congeniality award to her. His brilliant campaign slogan: "With Herb's win, wash away your sins" seems to be gaining momentum all over the bible belt as a rousting battle cry. Instead of campaign buttons, Odum supporters and staffers are handing out these ingenious "Wash away your Sins" towelettes, which have been popping up all over the Belt's diners and public rest rooms.

So please join us in supporting Herb Odum for "Over 55 Mr. Bible Belt Pagent" King, because a vote for Herbie is a vote for clean living.

We urge you to vote now and vote often HERE. And please leave a comment with your, "Herb for Bible Belt King" rally cry.

Herb and Gwen also want to remind voters that, although winning is their goal, it's not always about taking the big prize. On the back of each campaign packet sent, is this sticker which illustrates the true meaning of the spirit of this competition which says;

"It's not whether you win or lose, but how you do your hair."

NSFW Friday

It's time for another rousting rendition of the Daily Dandy's NSFW Friday.

For those of you not familiar with the term NSFW-It means, "not suitable for work" and today's selection is certainly one you may need to look over your shoulder to check if the coast is clear before viewing. This left me with that WTF look on my face.

Today's subject is Primates, and who doesn't love an adorable little monkey? But this guy?
His behavior is just downright nasty for sure, yet it's almost as if he revels in the political incorrectness of his actions. Kinda like he's giving the proverbial middle finger to the world.

The person that sent me this also provided the disclaimer, "You may not want to view this if you have a weak stomach". Umm, yeah. So don't say I didn't warn you.

Happy Weekend!



p.s. You know I so sent this baby to Gwen
p.p.s I know, I know. Sorry.

What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Good eggs, bad eggs?

If I put both my kids on that scale today, each would most certainly fall into the unknown depths of that chute in the chocolate factory. Or maybe it is only I, who would plunge into the unknown darkness, because I'm feeling like I laid an egg when it comes to child rearing, quite aware of the fact that I am the one at fault.

Enough is never enough. Too much is WAY too much and I'm beginning to believe that wanting to provide your child with every opportunity possible only does them a disservice. We do the best we can for our children. We drive them here and there, all over everywhere. We dispense cash like a personal ATM. We help with homework, go to games, shows, concerts and advise on social problems. We dispense wisdom and personal virtue; lessons for living life and we teach by example ruling gently, but stridently. We feed them, clothe them, nurture them and love them unconditionally. We ask for not much in return, besides a little love, respect, and gratitude.

After all of that, it should be of no surprise to me when a difference of opinion results in a fervent lack of disrespect. By being at their 24 hour beck and call, what do I expect? I have become their go-to-guy for sure, but on their terms. It amazes me that they are suddenly the ones handing out the ultimatums. It has become quite clear what I am doing wrong. Doing; herin lies the problem. Far too much and for far too long-the result is an entitled child who sees only what is next instead of what has been done.

At this point negotiation is not an option, the behavior warranting immediate action, the original topic now somewhat irrelevant. I have no choice but to send my children down that chute in the chocolate factory, before I send them out in the big "Chocolate Factory Chute of Life". It is the most undesirable option which lends creedence to the old saying, "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you". My other option? Sending myself down the chocolate factory chute. Today I feel like I belong there.

A Stereotypical Birth

It's always a joyous day when a baby is born. Months spent waiting in anticipation of the newest addition to the family are finally put to rest as the child makes it's debut into the world.

Expectations are high, with each parent already lovingly planning the child's future path, while carefully taking into consderation the child's culture, surroundings and familial influences. The possibilities for the child's future are endless.

Some are expected to conform to the society in which they enter.
Others are just born with it.