Candy's Excellent New York Adventure

HOT BLOGGER HOOK UP!!!!

I am pumped!

I'm going to the BIG APPLE tonite with my girls for a little excellent adventure and to meet up with my very first blogger!!! WHOO HOO!! Somebody pinch me cuz I must be dreaming!!!

Yup, I have arranged to meet with the fabulous, world famous, most ingenious, truly gifted, one and only......


wait for it.....


BECKEYE!!

Oh yeah, Becks and I are going to paint the town purple and talk all about you people and various celebrity dribble and all kinds of important chick shit and such!!!! And there is the very good possibility that we will be meeting with BE Earl of The Verdant Dude too. (I'm still waiting on his email as to whether or not he is in)

Can't wait. This will be my very first blogger hook-up. I think my buddy Scope holds the record for the most blogger meet and greets, he's got to have at least 10, I think. That includes the love of his life, that he found in the sphere, his lovely lady, Cora. He gets extra special bonus points for that one!

Anyway, I'll tell you all about it on Monday and Becks and I will discuss the possibility of pictures. Or not, but I can guarentee there will be pictures....

So get on it people and start spreading the news......I'm leaving today........I want to be a part of it!

Have a great weekend!

Smart-Ass Kids

My sister sent me this and I had to chuckle because my kids are just THIS smart. Brilliant, really. My mom always said that God is good and just and we would get ours when our time came...How right she was.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

Nick That Name

Nick nack paddy whack, I love to nick a name.

I have this thing, at times it can be annoying, where I give everyone a nick name. It's an issue. It's a personal play on words and I do it all the time. Doesn't matter who you are, I will twist up and change up your given birth name to suit me. Can't quite figure out why I do it. It just happens.

Take my dogs for example. Buddy, Jingle and Amos. Three fine dog names who need no elaboration or explanation for most people. Me? Heck no, I gotta twist and turn. All three have "Asian" names. Don't ask me why, for I cannot explain.

Buddy is Mee Soo.

Amos is Mouser

Jingle is Miss Ming.

Then, I always take it a few steps further. Mee Soo just turned into Soo, which then turned into Soonie, which then turned into Soonie Bird which now stands at Bird.

Miss Ming turned into Miss which turned into Miss-a-Ming which turned into Mingy which some how resulted in Ga-ning which now stands at Ga. Weird right? Go figure.

Mouser tuned into A-mouse which turned into Mouse-man which turned into Mouse-sir which now stands at Sir.

These could all change when the mood strikes me. Then there's my babies. Given both strong and beautiful names, I had to go and mix things up and destroy the sanctity of their birth names.

We'll start with Frick. Without telling you her given name, I some how worked that name into Crinkle which ended up being Crink. It stuck. The ENTIRE family calls her Crink which I then variated into Mink, Minken or Miss Minky.

Then Frack, named after his dad, he was given a nick name at birth, so as to differentiate between the two. I turned that into "the (insert name here)-er" which turned into the (insert name here)- mo laker, which turned into laker, then twisted and now stands at just Mo. I call him Mo or Mo Mo regularly.

My Guy? He's just honey, but recently that has evolved into Hunny Bunny which changed to Bunny then Honey B and now stands at Honey Bear.

Bizarre. I know. I never said I was normal. I think it runs in the blood. The kids call me Momma, which somehow became Nummner which now stands at Num.

In this house you never know what you will be called, but you can bet it will stick whether you like it or not.

Ignorance Is Bliss

In case you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you have otherwise heard about all the racism bru-haha bubbling over the top of the proverbial pot and kettle here in good ole' Beantown. Here at ground zero, it's all over the news. It's on the front page of every news paper. It leads every news story. Every. Single. Day.

And it makes me sick.

Then, to make matters worse, our Commander in Chief, had to put his foot into his mouth and step into this hot mess that is at debate. Barry used a bad word and made a freshman mistake.

Big mistake. Huge.
Now he's got to back pedal like a paperboy on his bike riding a flat stretch of street while watching the sunset. Only Barry's not in the clear.

The charges here are serious and the issue has been hotly contested by both parties, leaving a "he said, he did" debate for the ages. The question is, can we move forward, or does this mess send us 500 steps back?
Mother may I take 200 steps forward? Sometimes I wish it were that easy.

Do any of us really think that a brew with Barry at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will make a difference?
It's possible.
It's interesting.
It's unconventional.
It's kind of ridiculous.
It's something, I suppose.
It's a start.

It's a travesty.

Two men, both in positions of power got into it and the rest of the world will suffer. Is this about two peacocks who didn't have enough room for both their tail feathers to spread?
Is it about who was higher on the power chain?
Is it about respect and the lack there of?

We may never find a solution or make peace with this one, but one thing's for sure; a beer with Barry is not the answer.

HERE is why. (click the linky)

The Good Drunk

Let's discuss for a moment the possibility of getting your drink on in a good way. Is it possible to be in the above condition in a good way? Probably not. Poor Linds, for sure, had some chemical friends running through her system to aid her in the process of getting her to this point.

I'm talking about simple alcohol, hooch, moonshine, Jesus Juice, whatever you want to call it, and nine out of ten times it kicks the-ever-loving-crap out of me. Anything over two glasses of wine and momma is in trouble the next day. I'm not dumb enough to forget that I am too old to re-live my college dorm days and live to tell about it.

BUT-Saturday night was that one out of ten times that I did something right.

The weather was surprisingly beautiful and My Guy and I found ourselves alone for dinner, as my daughter took her brother (shock) out to dinner with her friends instead of hanging with the rents. We decided to go to our favorite Chinese restaurant (I know-yet again) as I had a hankering for some sushi and the restaurant serves both Japanese and Chinese. The best thing about the Chinese restaurant is the bartender is extremely generous, and I usually indulge in a Mai Tai or two.

We sat at our favorite table, enjoyed just a small amount of food; sushi for me-Chinese for him and had a couple of drinks. Normally, after one Mai Tai, I am feeling the sweet effects of the concoction and can stop there, but we were having such a good time, talking and debating about our life, that before I knew it I had consumed two Mai Tai's quite effortlessly. On the ride home, I got a call from my best friend and her guy, asking if we were interested in lighting a fire and chilling out together. We were feeling no pain and were game! It was on. No sooner had we started a gorgeous fire in the fire pit out back, my friends arrived and we continued to drink some more.

I was out of my standard Captian Morgan's spiced rum, so Drunky McDrunkerstein reached into the back of the liquor cabinet, only to find some Gosseling's rum I had brought home from Bermuda a couple of years ago. Tasted good, so what the hell! We proceeded to drink some more. It was one of those nights that the stars were bright, the company was great, the conversation robust and hilarious and the evening went off without a hitch. We could not have planned it better, had it not just happened spontaneously.

Somewhere around my fourth drink I announced to the group that I was indeed, quite tanked, but feeling good. It was almost as if I had just realized it, as the inebriation was a compliment to the evening, not the center of attention. My friends guy is a liquor distributor and as we were making the fourth re-fill on the libations, he said,

"Who's drinking the Gosselings?"

To which I replied, "I am. I brought that home from a friend's wedding in Bermuda a few years back and never opened it. It's pretty good actually."

"It should be," he said. "It's 151 proof."

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, two drinks (at home) deep, on a 151 proof high. Now I'm thinking I'm going to pay for this tomorrow, but since I live for today, I never look back.

As most old farts do, we wrapped things up at a reasonable hour. I decided that I needed to take the precautionary 3 Advil tablets before bed, as I anticipated a killer hang-over and passed ou.. er, um, went to bed. I awoke Sunday morning anticipating the arrival of death. I opened my eyes and moved slowly. As my feet touched the floor, I realized that I felt fine. After my walk to the bathroom and back, I was still fine. No headache at all and no nausea. You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was ok. I felt no adverse effects of a hang-over at all. I couldn't believe it.

I got a text from my friend, thanking us for a great evening and commenting on the great time. I have no idea how I escaped that scenario unscathed, but I did. The good drunk it was, indeed, and I will not question it.

How's that for playing the odds? Maybe next weekend I need to go to Foxwoods and try my luck, as I seem to be rolling on a hot streak.

Here's To A Mother Of A Weekend

First let me say thank you bloggers for your kind responses to my baby girl on her very first guest blogger spot on the Daily Dandy.
She was very nervous about telling you about her group and asked me if it sounded like she was bragging. I, of course, told her that's what blogging is all about!! If you can't toot your own horn every now and again, then what good is it, right?
In true blogger form, she checked the comments throughout the day and was very pleased with the result. Except for Heff, as she was rather befuddled by your comment. (I told her you probably had a few too many beers and got Mr. Keach confused with someone else and that we still love you anyway. You know, we have to protect our spawn ;0)

The video was shot close to three years ago and since then, my daughter has become a teen aged girl of 15 years-old and no longer looks like the little girl in the video, (her hair is now blonde and she has boobs and she has a LIFE, you know, mom) but she nonetheless enjoyed sharing it with you.

I guess I inspired something deep in my little blogger daughter's heart because when I got home yesterday, she had sent me this little gem via e-mail. You think she was trying to tell me something?? I may have created a blogging monster.

Peace out, have a GREAT weekend!

Today's Special: Frick Is Guest Blogger

Hi bloggers! Its Frick. My mommy had to go to Frack's golf tournament really early this morning so we decided that I would be the guest blogger today :)

My mom thought I should tell you about my band, Girl Authority. We are a group of 9 girls who sing pop covers, geared for the "tween" market. I've always been involved in musical theatre. Ever since I was 5 years old, I've been preforming for audiences in local theatre productions. I've preformed in the musical Annie, I played the orphan Molly and the orphan Tessie twice and I played Oliver in the production Oliver. When I was 8 years old my mom took me to an audition for a professional company, Trinity Rep's production of, "A Christmas Carol". Stacy Keach, yeah that Stacy Keach, was playing Scrooge. I got the role of Tiny Tim. It was so thrilling and the production was great!! The show ran for about 4 weeks trading off alternating nights with a different cast of kids. All of my friends that auditioned got in with me!!! It was our first professional (yeah we got paid :) acting job. Stacy Keach was pretty cool, but I think the coolest thing was when my entire family came to the show on Christmas Eve and sat in the front row.

Not too long after "A Christmas Carol" , Rounder Records approached me and asked if I wanted to be part of a group of girls called Girl Authority. The premise was that the 9 girls chosen for the group would each have their own "personality". We recorded our first album entitled "Girl Authority". Our first album sold close to 100,000 copies (which is not half bad), and we toured the country singing our versions of pop covers. It was a blast! Not to mention that all of the girls that I grew up doing theatre with were in the group!!! A year later we recorded our second album entitled "Road Trip".

The second album didn't do as well as the first album, or as Rounder expected, but last summer we toured the country again and played to large audiences. They loved us in St. Louis and we really felt like rock stars. We opened for the Jonas Brothers twice, and that is how I met my future husband Nicholas Jerry Jonas aka Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers (a girl can dream...no but we are getting married) We also opened for Jesse McCartney, who is very attractive :) We even had our album commercial on Nickelodeon and ABC kids. That was kinda cool, especially when my friends saw it and called me to tell me they saw me on TV. I guess you could say that we were real life Hannah Montanas.

We are still touring and singing our Girl Authority songs, but since the record industry has changed we have only released a few new songs here and there, exclusivly on iTunes. I will leave you with the video of one of five original songs from "Road Trip". This song was written for Girl Authority by Vince Clarke of Erasure. Its called "Let's Get Together".

Can you guess which one I am? Hint: I look like my mommy, I'm one of the smaller ones, and I am one of the three lead singers. Hinty Hint Hint: I am Country Girl :)

Thanks bloggers for listening! I hope I didn't bore you...mommy made me write about this :)