WTF Wednesday

WTF NFL? ...Can we all please move. the. F. ON?? This whole Deflategate thing has been the most drawn out, over publicized and over analyzed thing EVER. Not sure why the NFL decided it wants to put the screws to Brady and dig it's heels in on this one. Whether he lied or not..it's freaking air pressure in a ball...it's not like he beat his wife or anything.

WTF Apple Watch?...What do you mean you don't work autonomously without the iPhone present? Really? Like you can't do every single thing the iPhone can by yourself? Completely free of one's cellular device? What if I want to run on the treadmill without my phone and listen to my music? What if I want to check an email or text while "unplugging" from my cell? What a rip off.

WTF Windows 10?...What ever happened to 9? I got lost somewhere between 8 and 9.  

WTF Summer Cold?....My Guy and I have a horrid summer cold. Mine is all in my head. Sinus pressure, congestion, runny nose, watery eyes. I have been down for 3 days too!! My guy has it all in his chest. A summer cold is the worst.

WTF Ben Affleck?....Cheated? Seriously? And with the nanny? Ok, everybody knows that Ben is my homeboy and all, being from Boston, but cheating with the nanny is a little too sinister for me. Good for Ben he's adamantly denying it-even threatening legal action.

WTF Weather?....I can't really complain about super hot and humid weather, can I? I'd much rather be complaining about this weather than the polar opposite. So I'm just going to take this hot, sticky and unusually uncomfortable hot weather and shut the F up. Ok?

Oh yeah, and today is National Lipstick Day! So go on over to that sidebar over to the right and click on the link to my store...treat yourself to a celebratory lipstick!

My CVS Haul

So I'm in CVS to get contact solution and I can't help but be lured to the beauty aisle. Like really, Candace? I happen to OWN an entire store of beauty products, yet I feel the pull of touch, feel, try and smell all that CVS, or drugstore brands, have over me. Coming in to spend $17.00 for the needed contact solution soon turns into $100.00 of beauty crap that literally fascinates me. I'm going to justify it as research and development-as I need to stay on top of all the beauty trends. Don't I?

My number one favorite this trip is:

Nivea-In-Shower-Body Moisturizer-Oh hell yes! Where has this stuff been my whole life? I am a girl who loves body products, and a daily user of body moisturizers. I never skip my lotion, if I can help it, and this stuff is my answer to skipping body lotion outside the shower. WHY I LOVE IT: It's so easy and about $6.00. After cleansing the body/hair with soap or gel and getting ready to exit, you step away from the stream of water and apply this gem directly to wet skin just like you would a regular body moisturizer IN THE SHOWER!. After fully immersing your body in the creamy goodness you then step back into the stream of water and rinse off. Voila! Moisture drenched skin that can go the day without applying moisturizer outside the shower. MY RECOMMENDATION: Apply moisturizer after drying off. Now I know you are thinking that it totally defeats the purpose here, but trust me, you skin will look moisture drenched all day long and be oh-so-supple to the touch.

Maybelline Rocket Volume Express Mascara- I had high hopes, really, but this one was an epic fail for me. Sorry Maybelline. (I'm going to stick to my Maybelline Lash Stiletto which I LOVE) This one just didn't hit the mark for me. At $7.99, it boasts "8x bigger, smother, explosive, most beautiful lashes ever instantly". WHY IT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME: It didn't deliver "bigger, smoother, explosive" lashes. As amatter of fact, the patented Supersonic Brush turned out to be goopy and messy, therefore the "instantly" part took twice as long as an instant to smooth out. When all was said and done, the formula didn't give me anything but pretty average looking lashes. 

Loreal Infallible Never Fail Lip Color- Never fail-for sure! Holy long lasting! If you are looking for a color that will literally not move all day, this is the lip color for you. I had heard about this product from my clients who are constantly asking me for "a lipstick that will last", so I was more than curious. The formula, infused with Marine collagen and Vitamin E, protects and conditions the lips while preventing moisture loss over time. The price is a real steal at $9.99 for all day color. The dual, mirrored compact includes two lip products in a 2-step process. You apply the lip color first, let it dry down (about 2 minutes) to a matte finish. Then apply the white, gloss over it and go! WHY IT DIDN"T WORK FOR ME: This product did everything it said it would do-a bonus for sure. The only re-applying I needed to do was the white gloss, maybe a few time in the course of a long day. But I'm a girl who wears nude/beige lipstick and glosses all day, every day. This was simply too much color for me for way too long! If that's a bad thing for you-like me- this product may well be better for you on a day that you can't get to your makeup bag easily. Other than that, this product is a great deal for ladies who want all day color. ALSO: Like I said, this stuff does not come off, so an oil based product for removal is recommended. 

Roc Daily Resurfacing Disks-I know I have blogged about this one before, because I love this product! I hadn't bought them in a while-(and My Guy stole my last batch) so I picked them up again. These dual-use pads are pre-moistened and a breeze to use. WHY I LOVE THEM: They are self-foaming! One side is textured to slough off dead skin cells and blur the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles and the other side is smooth to gently cleanse and remove makeup and dirt. I use these babies at night, after a long day and swipe away everything them rinse. 3-5 times a week I will use the textured side to exfoliate my skin's surface so that my skin care products will be 50-60% more effective! What's better than that? at real bargain at $9.99.

Ponds Dry Skin Cream- This product is a no brainer for me; an absolute staple in my medicine cabinet and must have. I love this product so much that I would literally put a spoon in it and eat it if I could. 

WHY I ADORE IT: There are so many reasons but simply said, I use it for everything. Mostly as a fantastic body moisturizer but I do use it for my face, just not regularly. I always have Ponds Dry Skin Cream with me when I travel because it is so easy to transfer the cream into travel size jars and because it's a face and body moisturizer all in one! The Price varies due to jar size but safe to say you can get into one of these puppies for a mere $7.99. What can I say? My grandmother would be so proud!

I also bought a bunch of other stuff because I am a hapless, hopeless beauty junky who doesn't discriminate. Expensive or inexpensive, I have to try it all. Like it says on my Twitter profile, 

"If I can smudge it, buff it apply it and try it, then I gotta have it..."

Cleaning Out The IN Box

Uggh...

My desk at work is a clutter of crap! I can't believe I have let it get like this because it is so out of character for me. And I can't even stand it for one more minute. I guess it means I have been busy with other things, but a cluttered desk must mean a cluttered mind and my mind is clear.

Don't you hate it when things pile up on your desk? I have been focusing on the immediate things like everyday stuff that's necessary and INVENTORY! My focus has been to complete inventory before the big events of the weekend, which I almost did-but in the interim everything else landed squarely in a pile on my desk. Now I am back to work and it is looming over my head like a wrecking ball. I can't stand looking at it and I feel like I can't focus on anything else until I clean up that mess. I'm going to dig right in and destroy the clutter like nobody's business. I might even surprise myself.

Because my mind is clear, even if my desk is not.

p.s. This photo is not my desk..if it was-you might find me crumpled up in the fetal position somewhere near there.

Tuesday Tidbits

• From the "Wait a minute, what?" files: El Chapo Guzman, Mexican drug Kingpin, allegedly threatened Donald Trump via Twitter by Tweeting, “Keep screwing [with us] and I’m going to make you eat your fuc*ing words you lousy white fa**ot,”  Now that would be scary enough, but the unbelievable thing is that El Chapo just recently escaped from PRISON. What the hell? Now escaped convicts are safely tweeting threats? What is the world coming to? Hello Mr. Trump! A bona fide dangerous drug lord, allegedly threatening The Donald via social media. Trump better become accustomed to sleeping with one eye open.

• Ray Donovan Season 3 on Showtime: Best. Show. Ever. The first episode of Season 3 aired on Sunday night and it was AWESOME! I was skeptical because most great new shows sort of start to loose their luster by the 3rd season. The story lines get ridiculous and suddenly it's jumped shark and ratings drop. But this Sunday's Ray Donovan  Episode 1 didn't disappoint, so I'm looking for a great ride down the Ray Donovan rabbit hole this season...

• And speaking of jumping shark: Get this, a great white shark beached itself on a Chatham, MA beach yesterday. A seven foot, juvenile male great white beached itself trying to get a seagull. Witnesses reported that the shark got stranded at low tide and found itself flailing around on dry land where it couldn't swim at all. Beachgoers came to the shark's aid and tried to keep it alive by dumping buckets of water over it in intervals. Once authorities arrived on scene, the shark was towed back to the water about an hour later. Some stated that they thought the shark was dead because it had not moved after it's initial stranding, but once it was towed into the ocean, it flapped it's fins and swam away. Now let's hope that great white learned his lesson and doesn't come back for more.

• Tanorexic: I have a new obsession. Who knew self tan products could be so stunningly GORGEOUS? And simple. Seriously? The new St Tropez self tan products I have in my store, The Candy Bar are by far the easiest and best way to have a natural golden tan without the damaging UVA/UVB rays. The lotions and mousses make application a snap! They are virtually streak-free and since self tan is not an exact science, if you do see a mistake-all that's needed is a re-application over the rare streak to correct it. I'm telling you-I may never be "white" skinned again. I am loving this stuff. 

• Home is where the heart is: Right now I am so enjoying my gorgeous yard. My Guy has seriously done an amazing job landscaping that yard to perfection. He has, year by year, tweaked and pruned and planted so many gorgeous things and it's truly a spectacle to behold. I just had a really nice weekend at the fire pit with friends and it amazes us when we look back at pictures of how the yard used tolook. My Guy has the greenest of thumbs, and for sure he as the greenest of grass. I'm proud to call it my home, but I'm especially proud of him. Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. 

Desperately Dirty Housewives...A Repost

*The following is a Re-Post-originally posted on The Daily Dandy on Friday, March 6th 2009. It was one of my favorites then and still is now.

I have led a sheltered, sheltered life. Now bear with me here for a moment and you will understand what I'm getting at.

I stopped by the local quick-mart yesterday to pick up some milk on my way home. The gas station/mini mart is located on the main thoroughfare, no more than .5 tenths of a mile from my street, smack dab in the middle of two affluent, suburban communities. I stop in there regularly; to get gas and last minute items and the staff and I are on a friendly, first name basis. We always take a few moments to chat about daily events, and often times they will share a story or two about what goes on in the quick-mart. Yesterday the story was focused on the amount of condoms that are sold in this particular store. The owner asserted that of the four mini marts he owns; this particular location, by far, out sells the others in condom purchases. He added that the purchases are made mostly by women-who appear to be just like me, apparently-and by that he meant your ordinary, every day mom.

Another staff member then proceeded to tell me about these same suburban women; the ones buying the condoms, propositioning him for a little discreet, extra-curricular activity,*wink, wink*. Now they had my attention. We then discussed it a little more. They said well dressed men in business suits also make numerous condom purchases and we all marveled over the frequency of this taking place in an affluent community such as ours. Who'd have thought? Interesting. Wealthy, successful business men and their lonely, neglected wives.

On my way home, armed with this new revelation, my mind went directly to a memory of a similar sort. About 5 years ago, I was waiting at home for a service man to come to turn on my irrigation system. This is a twice yearly appointment, and the homeowner must be present in order for the service tech to have access to the pump located in the basement. The company always give you a 3 hour window for the arrival of the tech. My window was from 9am to 12. I jumped into the shower sometime close to 9, and sure enough, I heard the doorbell just as I was getting out of the shower. I quickly threw on my bathrobe and slippers, wrapped a towel around my head, and rushed to the door.

I told the tech he was welcome to come in and go find the pump in the basement on his own, but that I would just need a few moments to get dressed before I could show him. The tech immediately put up his hand, beating a hasty retreat from the door and said, "I'll do what I need to do out here first. When you're dressed you can come and get me and I'll come in." OK, fine. I get dressed and go find the guy and walk him down to the basement to show him where the pump is. He then says to me, "I hope I didn't offend you by being short with you earlier. It's just that I have learned the hard way never to enter into a home when the lady of the house is dressed in a bathrobe."

Really. Forever the journalist, I pressed him for more information.

"You're kidding me, right?" I said.
"I wouldn't kid about that," he replied.
He proceeded to tell me the stories about how more often than not, the robe and the towel quickly drop to floor. He said he could write a book about the propositions he's received over the years and that despite his warnings, some of the younger guys he works with have actually messed up their relationships over their indulgence in this offer of an"afternoon delight". I was speechless.

Let me go on record here as being fully aware that this could take place anywhere in the US of A, and it is certainly not limited to affluent communities. I just need to wrap my brain around the fact that it actually does happen in real life and not just in Hollywood.
I have lived a sheltered life, for sure, because this stuff never ceases to perplex me. The service guy? The UPS man? The plumber? Not to imply that there is anything wrong with any of those professions. I just don't equate an afternoon quickie with my major kitchen appliance being returned to working order.
I just don't get it. And I'm glad I just don't get it.
Herein lies the point-these women "just aren't getting it" so they're getting it when ever and where ever they can, on the sly. The allure of the forbidden fruit.

This is just one woman's opinion is all, and to each his own, whatever floats your boat and every other seemingly appropriate cliche. I just think there needs to be some sort of connection, chemistry or history before engaging in the act. Call me old-fashioned, call me a prude even, all I'm saying is that I just think there are better ways to float that personal boat, if that's what you're looking for.
It certainly gives new meaning to the job title, service man.

Spirit Animal

I'm not one to buy into all that Facebook crap about being a super fan of the Brady Bunch and who your Disney princess is. But one night my friend and I were talking about your spirit animal and what that means.

So I googled it and took the quiz.

What did I find out? I found out that I was the Wolf. Sounded reasonable because it tells me that the wolf has a "stealth hunting ability as well as strength and stamina". Family comes first, says the wolf, who forms deep connections with close friends and family members. Also very true. The Wolf is loyal, devoted and passionate which is also me. OK-so I decide to blog about the spirit animal today and I pull up the quiz to read about the Wolf.  

Then what do I do? You guessed it? I freakin took the quiz again.

I got the swan. Huh? I'm not the wolf? I think it's a mistake although the Swan spirit animal has attributes I can relate to. So I Google another, different quiz and I get the Tiger. WTF? Which am I? Now I'm confused as shit because the Tiger also has spirit animal qualities that are totally me. I take it again, because determination is one of my many qualities. This time I get the Wolf. The wolf has 2x going for it.

Now my friend stops by and takes the quiz after I tell him about the mix up. What happens? He gets the Owl. I tell him to take the other quiz to see if it's all a scam, and he gets the Owl again. Now I'm pissed! I make him take it one more time and BAM...he gets the Owl. 3x he's the Owl and he wins the consistency quota.

So I decide to take it again...Bad decision because now I get the Owl! It must be wrong so I walk away from it for an hour or so...Then I take it again...and I get the Owl AGAIN. Now I've decided that it's all a scam and what the hell do I care about a stupid animal quiz?

Bottom line? I'm the Wolf with Owl tendencies since I got them both 3X.      
OK? So now we can all go back to our regularly scheduled lives.
Aren't you glad I figured that out?                                                                                                                                            

Weekend At Mommy's

So how was your 4th? I had the best weekend..

I started my weekend on Thursday because Friday was the observed holiday, so I made my way down to my July 4th destination, Cape Cod, MA. The traffic was brutal brutal, even at 11:00 am but I didn't mind that it took us twice as long to get there. We went directly to our favorite restaurant once we arrived and proceeded to have.....the most amazing.....the summer favorite and a Cape Cod Classic.....a hundred million calories and I just didn't care....

FRIED CLAM PLATTER

And I ate the whole thing. It didn't disappoint because it never does. One by one, (or ten) my family arrived to the Cape house, each one with their traffic story. Seems it didn't matter what time you left that day-there was traffic and lots of it. Once everyone had arrived we went back to our favorite restaurant and enjoyed a huge, family meal-again. This was the start of a trend. A FAT trend as we all ate like we hadn't eaten in months. The drinks were flowing, the laughs were numerous and the evening was a pure joy.

Friday? A picture perfect beach day and we took complete advantage of it. There's nothing like spending the day on the ocean with your brothers and sisters-and the kids. We had a ball. Again-lunch was a smorgasbord of different foods and damned if I didn't indulge a bit in all of them-cuz that's what life is all about right? Enjoying yourself with your family has to be one of life's great pleasures. Friday night was the country club's annual July 4th BBQ and fireworks. We all showered, dressed up and piled into our cars for the ride to the club. When we go there we were greeted by Uncle Sam on stilts!! (who happens to be our favorite waiter from a restaurant at home-his real profession is that he is a clown)

The club was adorned with red, white and blue balloons, flowers and decorations everywhere. It was gorgeous. This year was extra special as there were carnival-like vendors all around. They had kettle corn, fried dough, a raw bar, ice cream trucks and activities and kiddie train rides for the young children. And of course...there was food. The BBQ had cold fried chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs, swordfish, salmon and the most incredible salads you could imagine. Once again-we ate till we couldn't eat any more then drank quite a bit too. Once the sun went down we were treated to an incredible fireworks display with music. It was spectacular. Once safely ensconced in bed after the day, I said a little prayer to God to thank him for all the gifts I experienced that day. I am truly blessed.

Saturday was cloudy-perfect day to hit the local shops. I said hello to some of my old friends who work in the stores then went back to the house where we had a HUGE Corn Hole tournament. Some friends came for the day and we partied like it was 1999. We planned a big BBQ of our own, and I was surprised that all the stores were open for business on July 4th. We must have gone to the liquor store and the supermarket at least 3 times that day. Again...it was the food. And so much of it I started to repeat the phrase, "Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins." We laughed that this weekend was starting to be like reverse fat camp. That night we had a large bonfire on the beach and more fireworks from all along the coast could be seen from our spot on the beach. It just couldn't get any better.

Sunday was another beach day bonanza and a day of reflection on all the wonders we had experienced over the weekend. So many gifts, we had been given during the time spent together. We left to return home from our weekend truly fulfilled by a family's love and the blessings of a life spent enjoying it's spoils.

But we took with us memories that we will cherish forever-and for sure at least 5 unwanted pounds of good clean living.

Playing The Trump Card

Does anyone really think that The Donald has a chance in the presidential race? I gotta give the guy kudos though. He's got balls...He's for sure blunt, rough and no nonsense. The crap that comes out of his mouth is unbelievable but he says it like he thinks he sees it. And that's really the problem here-it's Donald's world and we just live in it according to him. Don't get me wrong-I like Trump. I think he's a likable character-and that's exactly what he is-a character.

But this time the stakes are high. Probably the highest he's ever had to endure and I'm not sure the world is ready for Donald to be in charge of us all. His recent comments about Mexico have illustrated that running the country is all together different than running a company. Like he can't just fire Greece-as much as he'd like to-and you certainly can't run a campaign that's based on bashing Mexico and a building a wall. You just can't fire Russia and the Middle East, that's not the way it works but I'm not sure Mr. Trump understands that.

What he will understand is the fallout of his thoughtless outbursts. NBC, Univision and now Macy's are all cutting ties with Trump. Do you think he's kicking himself for putting his foot in his mouth? I think not. I imagine Donald Trump loves being in the press regardless of whether it's for good or bad. A consummate showman, he probably believes he coined the phrase, "There is no such thing as bad publicity". But this isn't his boardroom anymore. This is a global boardroom and Trump doesn't get to make the rules. I doubt he would survive in an environment that he can't control completely.

I get why he's running though.

Trump thinks the world is based on "The Art of The Deal", and since he wrote the book, quite literally, his ego must lead him to conclude that he could be the Commander in Chief of the US simply because he never met a deal he couldn't manipulate to his advantage. At 69, Trump probably believes it's now or never and why not him? He's got the money, resources and time to make a run at it but that's about all it's going to be. A run-and at the rate he's going at today it's going to be over before it even started.

Yes Mr. Trump, this is the country of opportunity and if you want to run for President you have the freedom to do so! What you can't do is shoot your mouth off and make derogatory public statements about others without pissing off a nation. This time you aren't dealing with the likes of a Rosie O'Donnell that you can publicly shame and bully. It's not like you can tweet at Putin that he's a fat loser without becoming the biggest loser yourself.

This ain't no reality show, it's reality.