Talking Turkey

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! 

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a turkey sandwich. He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating turkey, don't you like it anymore?'
She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'

'Why?' he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'

'Let me see' he said. 
'Okay' and she showed him. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more turkey.'

He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl,
'I have to stop eating turkey sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he showed her:

She said, 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and Giblets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plating Pretty

This week it's all about food...

So I'm watching Sunday Morning on CBS on Sunday and it was all about food. Food is love, where I come from, and the Sunday morning program served to solidify that fact. There was an interesting piece about a new staple in American restaurants called "plating".

Remember when your food was presented to you in a way that served the important food groups? A protein, a starch, a vegatable and so forth. All compartmentalized, like the paper plates with the sections spaced out, your food was placed on the plate side by side. Today, with the popularity of cooking shows and reality cooking competitions, that has changed. "Plating" the food has become the norm and even some chain restaurants are getting into the phenomenon. Plating, or food styling, is a way to present the food in the most artistic and appetizing way possible, like wrapping a present, the presentation is just as important. We are learning from the pros, by following food shows and competitions, and designing our plates to be things of beauty.

Food bloggers take pics of the foods presented to them on their blogs and social media sites are all abuzz with the pretty and pleasing presentations of food on a plate. The garnish, tying the plate together to make it a work of art.And they may be on to something.

Take a simple turkey dinner; instead of loading the food on in different sections, the food is sometimes presented from the inside of the plate out. All of your mom's favorites, piled expertly and beautifully with the gravy drizzled over it like the garland on a Christmas tree, the gourmet way is now the trend in our food obsessed culture. 

So on Thursday, don't lop a bunch of your favorites on the plate with no rhyme or reason, instead think of your plate as your own personal masterpiece. You may have more than a few people at the table who will ask you for a bite from your own "plating" Picasso.

The Giblets...

Ok, so I'm a Partiots season ticket holder and my family has been for at least 10 years. This means I am a big fan with a lot of great football watched by my two eyes.

Every season there is one game that is just soooo cooold that it makes you wonder why we pay premium prices to sit and freeze in the figid temps. Take last night's game:

It was a legendary set up; Brady vs Manning in the game of the year played in Foxboro in sub par temps with the frigid wind chill. I can't even tell you how cold it was because it doesn't really matter. I have been to and survived frigid games before. The Snow Bowl? Yeah, I was there and I lived to tell about it. But last night? I don't ever remember a cold like last night. It wasn't so much the cold as it was the wind. It was the gustiest, windiest, most freezingly biting cold wind I have ever experienced. And I was wearing fur!! It was insane.

Then there was the game.

Oh boy! I was ready to leave after the first three possessions of the ball. No wonder they fumbled three times in a row! It was so cold I'm not sure how they played in those conditions, but play they did. Going into half time at 24-0, I had enough. I could watch these guys loose big from the warmth and comfort of my own home, why should I torture myself? Then Gronk showed up and suddenly the momentum shifted. Suddenly it didn't seem so cold and the drink in my hand served to warm my soul. I still was disgusted, but when the score was 24-14 with more than enough time left, it was as if the Miami sun had shined it's warmth on every living, breathing Patriots fan in attendance.

Suddenly we were hugging and high-fiving and it wasn't because we needed the body heat of the person standing next to you. It was a new game entirely and the ticket money turned into money well spent. Then they tied the game and every fan practically disrobed because the adrenaline served to warm and wrap everyone up like a blanket. If you don't know what happened next, it was the stuff of legends.

Finally tucked into my bed at 2am, I was blanketed in victory and the cockles of my heart burned like a the hearth in a cozy Inn. And the cold?

What cold? Was it cold last night?

Throwback Thursday

This post, originally published on Candy's Daily Dandy on Thursday, June 10, 2010, was entitled, "Little Miss Smarty Pants."

So I read somewhere, that children can increase their IQ by one point if they watch Good Morning America. Of course, when I Googled it this morning I couldn't find any evidence of this fact, but I swear I read it and that's not really the point here this morning, anyway...

If this is to be true, I wondered what this says about me and my Intelligence Quotient?

I was raised on Gilligan's Island and by Mike and Carol Brady. If mom says don't play ball in the house, you don't play ball in the house. We were the TV generation, the first to really experience the benefits of syndication. Growing up in the early seventies, we were still innocent enough to experience part of the culture of the sixties as a small child. Wholesome shows like Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch and The Monkees were syndication smash hits, airing during our prime TV viewing time. The hours from after school to the dinner hour.

So how did these shows, including some of my very best friends, Looney Tunes Cartoons, aid in developing my IQ?

Let's take the Brady's shall we? From Mike and Carol I learned about the taboo(at the time) inner workings of blended families, and how a mother and a father can love and parent a child not of their own until the lines between them are gone. Sibling rivalry? I learned that we all don't have to play nice all the time and that sometimes even a black wig wont hide your true identity. Consequences. Yes, we watched the Brady kids stumble through adolescence and be held responsible. Mike and Carol had some seriously therapeutic talks with the kids in Mike's drafting den. All the while being groovy...I also learned that moms could be milf's and dad's could wear the latest fashions and look good.

Then there's Gilligan. The Skipper too. Coconut cream pie never looked so good and the ingenuity of a group of castaways that made their life bearable on the island they called home. From Gilligan's Island I learned that the class system exists within a deserted island. That Thurston and Lovey were catered to mostly because they had a bag stuffed with useless cash with them. I learned that Hollywood beauty can be achieved anywhere and that designer couture fashions can last for years and still look good. I also know that if I ever take a chartered boat anywhere remote, I'm taking an MIT professor with me and not some daft ship hand.

From Looney tunes, I learned that Monster's can be so very interesting and to make sure to excuse myself when moving through a row in a movie theatre. I learned that beach babe's don't like scrawny little men, they like big strong men and to stay away from any package marked ACME. I learned not to mess with any sweet little parakeet's namedTweety and that Bugs will always live to see another day because even though he's constantly being hunted, he's smarter than your average rabbit. Savvy and smart equals survival.

As I look back at these things, I think about the mature content of the messages I received as a child and how I translated them into my intelligence.

Despite it all, I think I still turned out alright.

Gonna Tell You What I Want, What I Really, Really Want...

Just dreaming today..

Not this, but I found this while I was looking for what I want...

YES! Can we leave today?

Too bad you can't just "buy" skinny...

Ya, keep dreaming.

I'd give it all up, everything,  for the cure.

I'd be their best, best friend..

This, next Friday would be nice...


Some days it's just nice to dream.

Friday Funny

Not to brag or anything...
But I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

Happy Weekend bloggers! Celebrate any victory no matter how small.

Three Reasons To Be Thankful This Beauty Of A Thanksgiving

Two weeks from today and for some of us it's already zero dark thirty and counting. 

The thought of spending a day, or in some cases a long weekend, with long lost relatives you'd rather loose for even longer can cause even the most level headed person major anxiety. I know what you are thinking.. Are they going to judge you and the career decisions your are making? Will Uncle Bob bring up old memories that still sting? And what about Cousin Janice? She's always looking for a juicy tidbit of gossip to share at the family water cooler; the punch bowl. And the biggest question of all: can I loose that extra 25 lbs in two weeks? 

While I can't claim to have a degree in the workings of human interaction and behavior, I can share with you some expertise of a different kind that is sure to give you a "turkey leg" up on spending time with your family during Thanksgiving. 

1.  The wonder of an at home facial mask: Seriously...listen up here because this one is a no brainer and a guaranteed game changer for hardly any effort. A simple "spring clean" for your face is what's in order and it's as easy as slathering it all over your just cleansed skin and waiting 15 minutes before rinsing off. Watching your favorite TV show? Perfect opportunity to pamper your puss. Eve Lom's Rescue Mask is just about the most perfect complexion concoction you could ask for. Voted by In Style Magazine as the Best Mask for Congested Skin for 9YEARS consecutively,  it's key ingredients are Kaolin (China Clay), Camphor and Honey. Rescue Mask boosts the complexion by improving  tired, dull skin. Puffiness? Dilute with a little water and apply under under the eye for 2-3 minutes and remove with damp muslin cloth. Your skin will glow and your relatives will wonder what it is about you that looks so "fresh".

2.    If you haven't already, get yourself an illuminating powder: I say this all the time and if you've ever been to The Candy Bar, chances are you've heard it, but a product like Kevyn Aucoin's The Celestial Powder in Candelight can take years off your face and make you the envy of everyone you know. Applied evenly to the top of your cheekbone, your brow bone and down the center of your nose, this light, shimmery powder can cause others to inquire about your special "glow". It's like this: You've just bumped into a friend you haven't seen in months at the grocery store. While you are answering her questions about your husband and the kids, her quizzical stare at your face and the distracted manner in which she responds to you is all the answer you need: SHE'S NOT LISTENING TO YOU BECAUSE SHE"S WONDERING WHAT IT IS ON YOUR CHEEKS THAT IS GIVING YOU THAT GORGEOUS GLOW. Take that Aunt Mary....can you please pass the pumpkin pie?

3.     A little bit of Bling dangling from your earlobe: Marilyn wan't kidding when she gave us the head's up about diamonds being a girl's best friend. While there's no need to break the bank here, a strategically placed gorgeous, blinggy earring lights up your face and your psyche! It's the holiday season, so a little dressier the occasion, the bigger and better the bling! Choose a sexy, dangly pair of earrings or a crystal clear stud to bring out your best face. Rebel Designs has several stunners that are budget friendly and perfect to pair with your holiday ensemble. Affordable, classic elegance that you can wear over and over again, a gorgeous pair of earrings is a great way to let everybody know you are no shrinking violet. 

Holiday's? They come and go but your family is forever. Don't sweat the small stuff. I promise, at least one or all of these simple beauty secrets can give you the boost to sit at the Thanksgiving table with confidence. At most, you'll feel better, and you might even find yourself having a great time!  

Because we all know what's coming next.....

I Was Just Thinking Of Nothing Important Really...

• Frack got his first college acceptance yesterday! Big day for him because at most we know he is going somewhere. It is not his first choice, we still await that decision, but it's nice to know that he's got one under his belt. Tonite we celebrate his golf team's Division 3 State Championship title at his year-end banquet. Frack is team captain so he gets to MC for the evening. I'm excited to see my son speak in front of his peers and their families. After all, he did come from me and I know there is lots of public speaking swagger in him. Handsome Frack, today I am proud and happy for him.

• The holiday rush is upon us. I'm trying really hard not to push the retail bonanza buttons too early, and I've been trying to brainstorm ideas for projected growth this year. I've got a few goodies up my sleeve, and a store full of fantastic product. The question is, with all the competition out there can I capitalize on the season?

• Speaking of The Candy Bar,Friday will be one year complete. Time flies when you are having fun, doesn't it?  So far, I have escaped alive. 

• I saw an old friend last night and it was WONDERFUL! She and I were like peas and carrots from the moment we hugged our hellos. It was as if we never left each other some 13 years ago. the children are grown and we are both married to other men, but the connection between us remained the same.  It was so satisfying to hook up with someone whom I once was quite close to, although I never quite confirmed it, until last night. We somehow lost touch, and neither of us could remember why. The love and warmth I got from my friend was truly inspiring and I'm grateful to have her back in my life. 

• Old man winter has sat his wrinkly a** in the region and he's not moving. It snowed yesterday for the first time and we, New Englander's, marveled at the flakes that did not accumulate on the ground. You'd think we never saw snow before...better be careful what we wish for. 

Of Course, There Are Two Sides To Every Story

Bullies aren't just kids.

That's the first thing I want you to know and the second is that there are two sides to every story.

But this story is a bizarre, sad story becasue not only does it take place in the adult world, but it takes place in the realm of professional sports. Most logical adults would think that stuff like this doesn't happen once we leave college. Or does it? If you ask, now suspended indefinitely Miami Dolphin Richie Incognito, once voted the "dirtiest player" in the NFL, about the hazing/bullying of his fellow teammate Jonathan Martin who reportedly left his team because of such abuse, he will admit to using vulgar language and intimidation, but blamed it on the culture of the NFL locker room.

When the story first came out, ESPN reported that Incognito, a Miami veteran, left a vile voice message for Martin. He uses the N-Word (Incognito is white and Martin is black) and threatens to defecate in Martin's mouth. Shocking? Yes, and in the way those damning words were first reported it was an all out witch hunt for the bad guy. Incognito had long been a problem; according to sources he was kicked out of Nebraska, punched security guards and was released by the LA Rams to name a few of his numerous infractions, so it was easy to think the Dolphins had thrown the proverbial bucket of water over the proverbial Wickid Witch. 

But that was only one side of the story.

The other side is somewhat bizarre and a bit unbelievable.

Incognito was then interviewed by Jay Glazer of Fox. What we learned it that after the vulgar voice mail that was reported by ESPN, there was a bit that was left out. Edited for effect, you might say because Incognito says to Martin before he hangs up, "Call me back, OK?". Truth be told, Martin then called Incognito back.
Huh? 

Reports say that Martin also texted Incognito on Thursday night after Miami's overtime win over Cincinatti. The now famous text reads;
"Wassap man the whole worlds gone crazy. Lol...it's insane bro but just know I don't blame you guys at all. It's just the culture around football and the locker room got to me a little."

That text is the last of 1142 texts that have been exchanged between Incognito and Martin. 

Then the money shot: Incognito revealed that Maritn had sent him a message that read;
 "I will murder your whole (*****) family." to which Martin's lawyer tried to explain away by claiming it was part of an Internet meme, a joke not to be misconstrued. So what's good for the goose may never be good for the goose, eh? 

So who's side of the story is the truth? 
What is the truth? 
Who is the victim? 
Who is the bully? 

Maybe the NFL needs to look in the mirror here and take it's head out of the sand. I'm thinking it's not going to like what it sees. 

Friday Focus

Hey Bloggers! It's Friday and yesterday the social media giant Twitter went public. It's debut performed way over expectations, which experts say is due to hype, so only time will tell if the IPO will be a major player on Wall Street.

Here are some examples of how we have changed the world in 140 characters or less.

Have a great weekend bloggers and if you're doing something you think we need to know, Tweet it!

We Are, At Times, A Very Sick and Twisted Society.

So I remember when Frick was little, we were planning a big birthday party for her and she was pumped!!! I'm not sure why, but I thought it would be funny to tell her that I wasn't going to her party. I think the gag lasted a whole 10 minutes, but I remember she wasn't too happy about it. The moral to this story?

She has never let me forget or live it down, still to this day. It's become a cautionary tale in our household.

So why is this so funny to me? The answer lies in the title of today's post.

Watch it through to the end, as there are some redeeming moments and a hilarious twist at the end. And I have to tell you....I guess I'm just sick and twisted enough to laugh out loud through this whole thing.

Enjoy!

This Just In....A Re-post

This post first appeared on the Daily Dandy on June 18, 2009.





Breaking news!



Finally, the answer to that age old question.




It's ramifications so profound,

It could completely change the way we view basic logic.

The answer, a definitive end to constant speculation.





YES!

This could make history!!

Weight Loss Boss

So I've got a birthday coming up and I'd like to loose a few before then.

I've got some time so a friend recommended this AP called "Loose It" for my smart phone. I down loaded it and was surprised by what is available at my fingertips. This little AP instructs you to input your age, height and weight, your goal weight and them it tells you what your allotted calorie count is for the day. You input the foods you eat by serving size and either scan or search what you eat and it calculates the caloric intake for you. All sounds logical enough.

What I'm finding is that I'm not eating what I normally would, because I know that if I eat it, I gotta add it and I'm not interested in seeing what that little AP has to say about my over-eating. It's like your boss is watching over your shoulder, pointing an accusatory finger every time you put food in your mouth.

AND I LOVE IT!

It's about time I have to answer to someone for what goes into my mouth. It even has an AP for exercise! And it looks like I get an extra 300-400 calories credit if I do it daily.

Now this is something I can wrap my brain around! Brilliant! It has a AP for nearby restaurants, a barcode scanner, brand name foods and recipes for calorie counters! This thing is genius.

But I know my love will be short lived.

I'm sure I'll find a way to forget, lie a bit, cheat, and generally "get around" it somehow, but for right now, it seems to be keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Now if I could only keep my waist on the straight and narrow...

"Truckin" Into The Weekend

Hey Bloggers! 

TGIF and its the kickoff to the weekend. I find myself feeling grateful today. Grateful for so many things, but most of all grateful that there is nothing facing me at the moment that I can't handle. Life has been challenging as of late, but I am grateful that the challenges have been placed before me for a reason. Teaching moments are like that. So I'm choosing to celebrate the positive this weekend!

Have a great one bloggers! And take a moment to stop and think about the blessing in your life.