Friday, November 28, 2008

Attention Shoppers: Black Friday Beauty Recommendations

Black Friday is here, shoppers! So if you've decided to brave the malls today and get your shop on, here are a few Daily Dandy's to fill you or your honey's stockings with a beauty bounty.
Marc Jacobs Body Splash- Shown here in Fig, these sumptuous body splash sprays are a wonderful, light way to enjoy the essence of your favorite scent. It comes in a fabulous 10 oz. bottle, displays simply, and more than a few little birds have told me that they double as a great room spray. At $68.00, me thinks that's one pricey room spray. I have Grapefruit and love it! There are over 10 different varieties in one of a kind scents that never over power. With choices like Cucumber, Orange, Basil, Rain, Grass and Cotton and Ivy, these make for a truly unique gift! These products are available on line or at Sephora, Nordstroms and Bloomingdales.




MAC Cosmetics Brushes- Make-up brushes are a great way to stuff that special someones stocking, and MAC make-up brushes are of the finest quality. This is the kind of gift that most women want and need, but rarely buy for themselves. The three displayed here are my most basic recommendations. The Flat Definer is a super, essential brush for lining eyes perfectly and retails at $24.oo. The beauty of this brush is that it turns any dark eye shadow into an eye liner.

The Powder/Blush brush serves a dual purpose. Great for blending face powders, bronzers, mineral powder make-up AND blushes. At $34.00, this brush gives the user the most for the money. The Medium Angled Shading Brush is essential for blending and contouring eye shadows. It gives you the option of applying both lid color and blending crease color and sells for $24.50. If you want to add a little more to make the gift complete, the Make-Up Brush Cleanser is a wonderful way to top off the gift. These products are available on-line and at most major department stores like Nordstrom, Bloomingdales, Saks and Macy's.

Guerlain Terracotta Bronzing Powder- Bronzing powder is one of my beauty staples and Guerlain has the BEST in the business. (believe me-I have tried them all) A great bronzer can be used in place of a setting powder (365 days a year) to leave the skin with a beautiful, warm, luminous glow. It's long lasting formula controls oils, moisturizes and-get this-protects against free radicals-ie: an anti-aging product! What more could you ask for? No need to worry about matching a color here-it comes in a few different shades, but one really can't go wrong, all shades are for all skin tones. At $44.00 retail, stick with a basic light, dark formula. If your recipient has light skin-go with any light formulation and for darker complected beauties-go with the darker shades.
Best of Bliss Gift Set- Bliss Spa's famous products are most certainly heaven in a tube! A gift from Bliss is a gift to be cherished. During the holiday season, Bliss has some great gift sets at equally great prices. I highly recommend all of them for gift giving-but the Best of Bliss set is my holiday choice. At $55.00, the set contains the top selling Bliss items. Included in the set, The Lemon and Sage Body Butter, which is wonderful and makes a great gift on it's own, the High Intensity Hand Cream (I sold a ton of this to BOTH women and men), a small size of The Youth As We Know It, Bliss' newest anti-aging skin moisturizer, the Triple Oxygen Instant Energizing Mask, a great mask to re-oxygenate and energize over tired, dull skin, and Hot Salt Scrub, a great body scrub that "heats-up" in the shower and supremely exfoliates dead skin. These products are available on line and at Sephora and most fine department stores.

Kiehls Ultimate Brushless Shaving Creams- This is a great stocking stuffer for that hard to buy for guy on your list. The three formulas, Blue Eagle contains aloe for sensitive or oily skin types. The White Eagle, contains menthol and camphor and is their most popluar formula and Green Eagle, which contains a hint of mint for a cool shave without the feel of menthol. The guy on your list will love this product. It retails for $15.50 and can be found on-line or at Nieman Marcus, Nordstom and other fine department stores.


Fresh Sugar Lemon Body Products- These are my go-to-gifts and always on any of my list of recommendations because of the rave reviews I have gotten about these products time and time again. Fresh Sugar Lemon Body Lotion paired with the Fresh Sugar Lemon Bath and Shower Gel make a great gift giving tandem that leave the body with the fresh, clean scent of lemon. Each of the products retail for $28.00. Throw in a bar of Lemon Soap for $13.00 or choose the Sugar Lemon Bath Cubes for $34.00, these fizzy cubes drop into the tub and release a lemony scent to please the senses.
Good luck shoppers! Let me know if you have any questions or any of your own suggestions!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This Is My Brain Today

I've got 35 for Thanksgiving tomorrow and a crapload to do today. This little gem sums up today's events perfectly.

Peace out people!!! I wish you and yours the happiest of Thanksgivings and my best wishes for joy and a safe holiday!



Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sign Of Fire


I recently found out that I am a fire sign. I'm sure I knew this fact a long time ago, but I must have filed it away under Z in my brain. I should say that I recently realized that, yes, I was born under the sign of fire. It was then that it clicked. The fact that I am a fire sign explains alot.

This summer, my cousin and I were with our kids at the beach house on Cape Cod to enjoy some bonding time for a few days. Every night we would go down to the beach and light a small bon fire. We had it all set up. We had beach chairs, a cooler, all the fixin's for smores, and a rock pit and every night at dusk we would head down to the beach to light the fire. The kids loved it, but after about an hour, they had enough and retreated back up the house. My cousin and I would stay for hours, till the last of the wood was burned, having cocktails and talking. We still talk about how great those evening fires were and she often comments on my amazing "fire stoking" abilities. It was during one of those evenings that she reminded me that I am a fire sign.

I have always loved a fire. As a little girl, I was a Girl Scout and have fond memories of the camp fire. My outdoor fire pit is my favorite way to entertain my guests, sharing stories and cocktails. There is nothing more satisfying to me than, on a cold winter's night, lighting a fire in the fireplace and cozying up under a blanket in front of it. The flames put me under a trance and I could sit for hours, doing nothing more than watching the fire burn. Am I a pyro? Absolutely. My fire stoking skills go unmatched. I am constantly prodding and stoking the fire, adding just the right amount of wood to keep the flames alive. Now that I know where the love of the flame comes from, the puzzle is complete.

There are three fire signs in astrology: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. My son, my daughter and myself, respectively. (now I know why we fight each other on every little thing)

Wikipedia says, "According to astrological theory, fire signs represent the life-giving and vital force of the zodiac. The fire signs are termed positive and extroverted, and are supposed to be active, creative, ingenious, dynamic, and highly energetic. They are seen as the leaders and pioneers within humanity, possessing an assertive quality that allows them to act upon the thoughts of others extremely quickly."
In matters of the heart, fire signs are more passionate and committed than other signs. My guy is a water sign. Does this mean we cancel each other out? I don't think so. My water sign guy cut down a ton of dying trees last year in our backyard and had them chopped up into multiple piles of wood, so that his little "pyro" would always be ready to burn. He lights me fires all the time. I love that.
Like my sign, I am outspoken, anger quickly, and extremely passionate about things and people I care about. I am gregarious and friendly, with a competitive streak. I am loyal to a fault, and committed.

But since this past summer, I realized for me what it's all about. If you really want to win me over and get into my heart and my soul, just light me a fire.

Monday, November 24, 2008

HYPOC-RINCH


About two weeks ago I noticed that this radio station in Boston, 105.7 WROR, began a 24-7 format of exclusively broadcasting Christmas music from now until Christmas day. I was dumbfounded when I first realized that, yes, I was hearing Christmas music coming from my radio and no, I was not inside a retail establishment. Now, 105.7 has a tradition of being the go-to-local radio station for "all Christmas music all the time" around the holidays, but I can't ever remember the change taking place this early.
I was pissed. "This is ridiculous", I complained to anyone that would listen, changing the station to punctuate my point. Nearly everyone agreed with me. I just couldn't see the reasoning behind airing the music 24-7 in the early days of November, so soon after Halloween. They even have a drive time spot from 5-7 daily where the kids can call in and talk directly to Santa "from the North Pole" and tell him what's on their list. Every time I came across it while scanning the radio, it would piss me off a little more. I created all these plausible scenarios in my head like:
"They're in cahoots with the retailers"; IE: their advertisers= all important ad revenues.

"Maybe the station had a bad fiscal year and they are trying to mix things up and create a buzz by changing the format WAY TOO EARLY."

What I really thought was that it was a risky move that would alienate alot of their loyal listeners (myself included). I could only imagine what their email in-box and their voice mail in-box looked and sounded like.

105.7 WROR Boston
Listener E-mail

Dear WROR,

I have been listening to your station for some 20 plus years and I am disgusted by your choice of timing in changing your recent format. It's bad enough that I am forced into facing an early Christmas season by every major retailer before I even hand out even one piece of Halloween candy, because now I am left no choice but to escape the constant drone of your untimely Christmas cheer on the drive to and from my job. A once simple pleasure, now ruined by your early exploitation and over commercialization of an already used and abused holiday.
Thanks a lot WROR. I will be taking my listening habits elsewhere. Preferably to a station that respects the proper timing in observance of the holiday season.

A pissed off FORMER listener


That might have been me. I say might because I have realized over the past week that I have been shouting a bit too loudly. I would be remiss if I didn't admit to, while picking up the kids at school or practice and running daily errands, leaving the station on, all the while complaining at it's ridiculousness. I even found myself humming and singing along to a few holiday classics. I have become the thing I hate most, a hypocrite.
As the days go by, I find myself listening and enjoying the music more and more. While driving around this weekend, (doing what?) early Christmas shopping, I was listening. Now the kids are getting into the spirit also. So what am I teaching them? We all agreed that this is just too early, yet there we are, listening and singing right along with WROR.
I decided that this Grinch had better make amends but fast or I am destined for coal in my stocking and not much else along with some pretty confused children.

Could it be that my head isn't screwed on just right, or perhaps, maybe, my shoes are too tight? Whatever the reason, my heart or my shoes, I must stop this whole WROR Christmas-music-hating-ruse.

I puzzled and pondered till I couldn't remember what I was puzzling for. Then I remembered, "Oh yeah, maybe Christmas, this year, means a little bit more."

And what happened next...? Well in our house they say, that mom's grinchy heart grew three sizes that day.

And she proclaimed to all, in an act of contrition, "Every radio in the house will be tuned only to WROR to listen."

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I Can't Help Myself...It's A Sickness

It is very well documented here at the Daily Dandy, my love for Tommy. Today it would seem I'm not alone. Check out MSNBC.com's sports guy Matty Blake's hilarious take on his Tommy man crush-edness at it's finest!

My favorite is the scene showing just his leg. Dude-we (Pat's Nation) feel your pain!

Who's your man-crush? C'mon, you know you have one!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

All I Could Say Was...WTF???

No kidding. I really saw this yesterday. This is an outdoor display at a private home in our great state of Massassachusetts. If I hadn't had actually been there myself, I probably never would have believed it.
I went to visit a friend I haven't seen in a while in the Southeastern part of the state. As she took me down the road to this house she told me, "you've got to see this". In the center of the picture, in front of the American Flag thingie is a (I kid you not) Statue of Liberty statue in the middle of a small man made pond. That's right, it's a fountain that I'm told goes on at night, lit up in all of Lady Liberty's glory. In the back, there is a horse drawn carriage complete with a fake guy wearing a straw hat sitting in the carriage and several other random cement statues scattered around that my iphone couldn't fully capture in this shot.

This is the front of the house. The tall statue of a Venus is one of about six that sit atop the fence that lines the entrance. On the initial approach to the home, just before it came into focus, I thought was that she was taking me to see an incredible Halloween display that was still up. This was SOOO much better. And because I'm a freak! I exclaimed wildly that I had to get out of the car and take pictures so that I could display them on my blog. We had a great laugh while I was snapping away with my phone in front of this guy's "constitutionally correct" outdoor expression of patriotisim. ( no biggie, I'm sure he's used to it by now).

Legend has it that the occupant of this house was asked a few years back by a neighbor if he could take down his display, just temporarily, until they sold their adjacent home. What do you think he did? Not only did he NOT remove the statues, he added more, digging in his proverbial heels, so to speak. Needless to say, he's probably not the most popular guy on his block.

And because with every great visual, there has to be a "cherry" that tops it. This is located on the opposite side of of the yard from Lady Liberty. Here is the money shot:

No where else but the great US of A. I dare not tell you where this is. Rumor has it the guy is in "waste management".

Because really, What Would Jesus Do?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Today's Special: Done your way

We here at the Daily Dandy are huge Anjelah Johnson fans, and "Nail Salon" previously posted here is an all time favorite.
My daughter showed this to me and we couldn't stop laughing and mimicking this comic gem. (a great bonding moment indeed)"I will CUT you" is now part of the everyday vernacular. Plus, everyone likes it done their way. Don't they? Yeahhh, I thought so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Mission Impossible: The Holy Grail of Gift Giving


Yesterday's post got me thinking about Christmas gifts. Since I told you yesterday that My Guy gifted me with my "Holy Grail" of gifts, I started thinking about his. And I knew exactly where to go, in my mind. The trouble with Grail-type gifts is that they are never easy to find and this one is no exception. So today, I ask for your help, your expertise, your know-how, because NOW I am a possessed woman on a mission. God help anyone or anything that stands in my way.

The story begins like this: My Guy is a HUGE baseball fan. Born and raised here in Boston, those of us in his life, probably all run a close second to his beloved Red Sox. That being said, his beloved Sox most definitely run a close second to his ultimate hero, The Babe. Last year we transformed an unutilized guest room in the house into his home office. It came out amazing. We all love it and use it, but ultimately it is his room. We decorated the walls with only the most prestigious pieces of baseball memorabilia from his expansive collection and kept a quality, not quantity theme when choosing the works to display. Last year for Christmas I commissioned an artist friend to paint an oil portrait of The Babe as Christmas gift. The finished product was fantastic! I had asked her to paint Babe Ruth in a Red Sox uniform and she took it a step further and captured him on canvas in a Boston Braves uniform (which was at the end of his illustrious career). She even captured the sadness in his face. My Guy loved it! The Holy Grail, right? Wrong.

Just a few short weeks before Christmas, (the timing could not have been more fateful) with my fabulous gift safely stowed away in the basement until Dec 25th, he and I were at home watching a movie we rented, "I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry". The movie stars Adam Sandler, Kevin James and Jessica Biel. There's a scene in the film when Adam Sandler goes into Jessica Biel's apartment and as the camera pans the entrance of the apartment, on the wall just by the door hung a poster size, framed photograph of Babe Ruth. But this wasn't just any photograph of The Babe, this was the one, the Grail. I knew it the second I saw it, and I gasped out loud, my body overcome by that strange sinking feeling. My Guy knew it too because he gasped also and declared with amazement that he had never before seen that photo. We had to pause the movie and dissect and discuss this photo. I also knew immediately that my gift had just been exposed for what it really was. A poser, a cheap imitation of this, the only Ruth photo that mattered. I sucked. I gave it to him anyway and he loved it, but I know what we were both thinking in our subconscious when I gave it to him.

Enter yesterday, I spent a good part of 3 hours searching the Internet for that photo and what I found was that I am not alone. There are lots of other Ruth fans out there searching for the same photo with little success, as I told you-this is the one. After pouring over hundreds of sites with photos of Babe, I finally located a thumbnail of the original photo. I printed it out in document size but it is pixelated and probably useless. I even went to Barnes and Noble and poured over books about Ruth searching for it to no avail. I then found this web site justanswer.com and I actually PAID $15.00 for their assistance on my quest. They inform you via text and e-mail when they have answered your question. They say that the average wait time for your answer is between 20 minutes and one hour and I got my response some six and a half hours later with nothing more than the information I had already found myself. The "entertainment expert" assisting me told me that she believes the photo to be a one time thing, created for the movie and directed me to other sites with other photos of Ruth for sale. Basically I got hosed, but I can't waiver, it's got to be that photo.

So I ask you all for your help. What can I do? When I am done here, I am taking my crappy pixelated image over to a photo shop to see what can be done with it. The image in the movie was done in sepia tones, so there may be hope for me yet. I already e-mailed the website with the thumbnail photo about obtaining a print of the shot, but have yet to hear back from them. What makes me even more crazy is the fact that I found the photo and have the image (albiet a thumbnail), I just want and need a better resolution. You got any better suggestions?


You asked for it so here it is:

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Goddess of the Skull

I got a thing for skulls. I like them. I really, really, like them. I like to wear them. They complete me. If I were a corporation, the skull would be my own corporate logo. You'd see the skull and think of me. Now before you go thinking that I'm all crazy, let me explain.

I've always liked the skull, even as a kid and especially at Halloween, but my true desire to be synonymous with the skull didn't come about until 3 years ago. That was just after the big "break-up" but before the big "D". I went to Amsterdam that summer with my best friend on my first trip to Europe and purchased this:



Thus began the dawn of the "Goddess of the Skull, Keeper of the Edge". Because Europe has always been a year ahead of us when it comes to trends in fashion, this was long before the influx of the crappy, cheap, commercialized skull paraphernalia flooding the market in the United States today. (I consider myself a skull purist and expert on all accessories of the skull) The funny thing about the belt was, it spoke to my edgy side. It was almost like a silent protest, or a reversed scarlet letter. I could almost feel it's power. It wasn't like I went all goth or anything, because the belt said all I needed to say silently, yet effectively. I wore that belt a lot and continue to do so regularly.


In the last decade, French designer Christian Audigier has built a fashion empire by marketing the designs of an LA tattoo artist named Ed Hardy. Unless you live under a rock, you've seen his brilliant, bright colored, tattoo art on every thing from t-shirts to luggage. Ed Hardy's specialty is my good friend, the skull. DonEdHardy.com is my mother ship and my expensive"skull habit" and I have found a home.


I am always ever so grateful when I receive a gift from someone who gets the fact that I love the skull and I have received so may great "skull" gifts in the past few years. The problem is that there is so much cheesey skull crap out there, that I have had to become somewhat of a skull snob. It has to speak to me, and when it does, there's no stopping me. I gotta have it.


These are just a few of my favorite skull things from my own"pirate booty":






This is a fabulous candle that my mom gave to me last Christmas. You can't see it but there is a tiny wick on the top of his head. I would NEVER burn it. I love it far too much! It is proudly displayed in my bathroom amongst the other black bathroom accessories. (creepy, I know!)




This is my favorite purse. It is a Thomas Wylde and the chain is the shoulder strap! Although you can't see it very well, my favorite part of this bag is hanging on the ends of the zipper enclosure strings; six anatomically correct lead skull heads. They are so tiny and cute! The bag also is lined in skull fabric and has a huge skull head laid out in metal grommets to display on the other side.

But my most treasured skull posession and personal possesion of all was a gift from My Guy. It was the first gift he ever gave to me, the first Christmas we shared together.

This wonderful Roberto Coin diamond encrusted skull and crossbones. I NEVER take it off. It is very special to me because somehow My Guy knew that skulls and diamonds were this girl's best friends.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sweet Success in a Swinging Bucket.

*Viewer discretion is advised. The following contains themes that are SPORTS psychology related. Any inconvenience or upset stomach you may experience due to the regionality of today's content are purely coincidental and absolutely the intention of the author of this site.

I once heard a guy described as so lucky, he could "sh*t in a swinging bucket". I'd have to say that not only was he lucky, he had some good aim too; considering the bucket's swinging. Sometimes I think that's what it's been like being a sports fan from New England since the start of the new Millennium. I came to this conclusion after Thursday night's Pats/Jets prime time showdown at Gillette Stadium. The "Tommy-less" Pats pulled out a surprising performance and the interesting thing is, we didn't win. We didn't even take over first place in the AFC. We took the loss, the 6-4 record and second place to the New York Jets. But, as luck would have it, we really won. We won because the actual game itself proved it's weight in gold for the psyche of the team and it's fans. The Patriots, with Cassel at the helm, showed that all important testicular fortitude needed to win big games. The Pats just may possess the nads to keep us in the game, sprinkled with a little dash of magic in the team's old top hat. It's that special quality that keeps us hungry for more and that teams from New England have been blessed with in recent years.

For sure, it's never boring around here if you're a sports fan, and I'll admit we have been spoiled ROTTEN for the last eight years. Our fair city has been graced with SIX world championships in that time and our children have been raised as sports royalty. We have fought through injury,(Tommy, The Bloody Sock) scandal, weather, history, records, and curses and still came out smelling like a rose.
We have experienced some of the most sensational come from behind baseball victories in our beloved Fenway Park. We witnessed the biggest "choke" in ALL sports history and a historic end to an 84 year old curse in 2004 and ended up with not one but two MLB World Championships. And let's not forget Game five of this year's ALCS. We live for games like that. We even brought a 17th championship banner back to the gaaahden to hang along side Celtic greats like Cousy, Russell, Havlicek and Bird. And if that's not enough, today the Bruins sit atop their northeast conference, a site we haven't seen since the glory days of Neely and Bourque. (They absolutely dominated the Habs last Thursday night-6-1)
Still, there are those that would argue that it's not just about luck. Money plays a key role in winning and there has been a bit of that sprinkled around here too, in Championship City. Bob Kraft was the laughing stock of the NFL when he bought the team in 1994 with nothing but his dreams and his big, fat $172 million dollar check book. He was told that the team would never be a viable commodity in the NFL. They lacked the winning record and the facility to attract the ad revenues needed to play with the big boys. He stuck it to them good with his $325 million dollar privately financed, state of the art facility, which we christened on opening night in 2002 with our first championship banner and saw the rise of the Brady era. (some credit Mo Lewis of the NY Jets for that, but that's another post for another day)

Then there's John Henry and the deadly tag team of Tom Werner and Larry Luchinno. Their money purchased them team, hired our golden boy Theo Epstein, the true architect of our two World Championships and saved our historic ball park by turning it into a money maker.

Money also came to the rescue of our boys in green. In 2003, a group of Fat Cats from Boston Basketball Partners LLC, headed by business man Wyc Grousbeck, purchased the team and hired Danny Ainge to the front office. With the EGO of Pitino gone and Doc Rivers hired as coach, Ainge made a steal of a deal and acquired both Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett to aid our own Paul Pierce out front. You know the rest and the Big Three need no introduction.
As for Jeremy Jacobs, owner of the Bruins. F-Jeremy Jacobs! That's all I want to say about that.

Luck is defined as a force that brings good fortune or diversity; a favoring chance, success. This is what I have been talking about. Money, luck, talent, luck, money. I'm not going to ask any questions. For now, I'm going to walk outside my house and take a deep, deep breath and breathe in that sweet smell of success in a swinging bucket.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

This just in.....

Just saw the movie Role Models starring Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd. This hilarious, heart warming, grossly inappropriate, funny, laugh out loud film, written by Paul Rudd (and a couple of others) was a great way to carelessly spend two hours. Scott and Rudd are at their best. Paul Rudd rejoins with his 40 Year Old Virgin co-stars, Jane Lynch and Elizabeth Banks (Jane Lynch ALMOST steals the show) to create a true comic gem. Yes, it's stupid and at times silly, but none the less a fun ride and a leave-your-cares-at-the-door type film.
The kids in this film, Bobb'e J Thompson and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, both deliver break out performances in completely different ways. I haven't had this much fun at the movies since The 40 Year Old Virgin.
If you're looking for a great laugh and a little tug at your heart, this is the film for you.

My Guy and I give it a Daily Dandy two thumbs up!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady....



How many times a week is considered normal? Average? Above average? Just plain pathetic? Down right nasty.? Let's just put it out there to focus group. In order to really answer this age old question, one needs to consider the circumstances. Categorically speaking, lets break it down to two:

There's the coupled group: marrieds, cohabitants, seriously committed's, together forever's and exclusives.

Then there's the singles category: singles, friends with benefits', the promiscuous...'s, serial daters, the sexual adventurers and, of course, sluts and ho's. (both male and female)

Both important and viable categories, but their answers will differ greatly. And may surprise you.
According to Yvonne K. Fulbright, author, sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc, "90 percent of American men and 94 percent of women are having sex up to five times per week." NO WAY, really???? Does this mean that if you are not a part of this statistic and you are hovering in that lonely 6-10 percent, that you are somehow ABNORMAL?
Dr. Fulbright noted: "(Note: it’s the "up to" part of that survey that makes for the high percentages. Plus, sexually active people may be likelier to participate in this kind of survey)". Makes perfect sense. If your extremely active, then you have no problem shouting it out from the roof tops.

But here is where my "categories" theory takes a hit. It may not be as simple as breaking it down into groups. I found that there are many determining factors that may affect your frequency per week numbers. One of the most common determining factors for measuring the "normality of frequency" found in my research was AGE. Young hormonal boys, newly marrieds or couples that have just gotten together tend to have a much more active sex life than a couple that has been together for a while and people over forty. On the flip side of that, people in their forties are having less sex than people in their twenties, but more sex than people older than them.

We also must take into account the stage of life you are in. Research would suggest that young people, free of major responsibilities; IE; kids, mortgage, career, simply have more time for sex and possibly more opportunity. Whereas just marrieds, starting a family and beginning their careers, and over forties most certainly have the opportunity, but may be too tired to perform all the time. Older, and more established couple's whose kids are grown also have ample opportunity but less desire.

Safe to say there is no"normal" other than what is normal for you and your partner. But, if you want to look at the averages scientifically collected that are out there, the average of frequency that I saw consistently is between 1-3 times per week. According to the Kinsey Institute, the largest group of couples having sex is 69 times per year which averages out to 1.3 times a week.

So really, no need to worry about keeping up with the Joneses.
I'd like to leave you with this cute little tidbit I found on Yahoo answers.com :

Resolved Question:
How many times a week is it normal to have sex?
I have been with my girlfriend for around 6 months, we have sex around 3 or 4 times a week. How many times is normal?
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Depends on the age group:
15 - 20 year old = Tri daily (three times a day)
20 - 30 year old = Tri weekly (three times a week)
30 - 40 years old = Tri monthly (three times a month)
40 - 65 year old = "Try oysters"
65 - 80 year old = "Try to Remember"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Blogger Profiling

In the process of reading multiple blogs daily, I have come across more that a few posts/comments containing this reoccurring theme of bloggers dreaming about each other. While I can't say that I have yet to share in this common phenomenon, I believe the reason behind this fact is that you are all very much alive in my every day conscious. Strange, to say the least, but true. Lately, I have been seeing things in my daily life that will remind me or lead me to think of certain bloggers. I guess you could say that I have been, " blogger profiling".

Like the other night, I see this commercial for the wireless phone network, Verizon. Have you seen this one?
This guy walks into his office holding a mug of his morning coffee. He is talking with his assistant, going over his daily schedule. She says to him, (this is NOT verbatim; I couldn't find it on youtube) "From 9 to 10 you send text messages to your wife. From 12 to 12:15 you send funny picks to your son Jimmy on the playground. From 1 to 2, you're texting with your friends...and at 4pm you have a budget meeting. The guy then looks at his assistant with a hesitant chagrin on his face and after a dramatic pause she says, "I can move the budget meeting to another day." To which the guy responds, "Yeah, good idea."

I immediately think to myself, "THAT is Zibbs."

Then I get this post card in the mail advertising Lancome's new battery powered mascara (no kidding really- it's a Saks Fifth Avenue exclusive) and I think, "I can't wait to tell Lids about this one."

Or lately(after his myheritage.com post), every time I see Seth Rogen on TV or the movies or read his name somewhere I immediately think of Poobomber. Isn't it ironic that as I read The Other Side of Normal daily, Seth Rogen's voice narrates the Poobomber's words in my head? Weird.

Oh yeah, and last Saturday I was buying a birthday card for my friend when I see this card with a sweet old lady sitting in a rocking chair on her front porch that says, "You're not the type to sit around getting old, letting the world pass you bye." You open it up and it says, "No, you're the type to shout out rude comments and make obscene gestures." I thought," This is for Gwen and if I knew her better, I would send this to her on her birthday."

Very strange, I know. So how is it that I have these preconcieved notions about who a blogger is when there is a substantial lack of physical evidence or any eyewitness accounts to back up these ideas? The answer lies in your words. The words you share with us everyday. Like the best of psychological profiliers, unconsciously we take what is known about an unknown blogger and mentally develop a profile of who we think that blogger really is. But do we really know for sure?
Was Falwless really a mischevious little girl who smoked cigarettes out in the woods in her back yard while playing pirates with her friends? Does Tova Darling really have an affinity for fashionably dressed mannequins? Is The iNDefatigable mjenks really a chemist with a thing for Curious George? Does McGone spend his mornings sitting at The International House of Pancakes having breakfast with a pig? Does Slyde wear his leather biker jacket and dark shades when he attends PTA meetings at his son's school. Does Earl really have BUG EYES?
The blogger world may never know, but I for one, will continue reading and unconsciously blogger profiling.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Today's Special: Cream Puffs

Here's a Dandy for you......and I'm a little ashamed to admit it.....but.....I've got a ZIT! Yup, over forty and still battling the occasional breakout. Clear skin was supposed to be one of the few perks of reaching that fabulous milestone, so what gives? And it's not like the little bastard is easy to get to. No, this is one of those zits that appears on your face in the form of a small mountain with no visible escape for it's poison. Top that off with it's strategic placement, (on my forehead and just at the hair line) and I am screwed but good. We, in the (beauty business), describe those eruptions (the technical term -no kidding) as the ones that come from the "depths of your soul", so herein lies a major problem. If I can't get to it by picking or popping without making it ten times worse than it already is, how am I going to eradicate it from my face? (one should never pick or pop blemishes-it increases the chance of scarring the skin but go ahead and try using that logic when a big whopper arrives for a visit)

Lucky for me I am a professional who possesses the knowledge and the expertise to utilize the resources available to help combat the tiny intruder and move it forward towards extinction. And like any other unwelcome guest on my face, I must be diligent about it's prevention through a process somewhat like natural selection. With assistance of time and experience, I have amassed a small war chest with all the necessary weapons available in my arsenal to assess my readiness for war.

As for the aforementioned "depths of your soul" zit, the arch nemesis of any individual that follows a daily regimen of facial hygiene, I consider this product the Patriot Missile. (For men, diagnosing this one can get tricky because it feels and looks similar to an ingrown hair as a result daily shaving. For diagnostic purposes, consider the placement of the blemish on the face. If ingrown hairs are you issue, try this fab product.)



By far the most superior product to help battle any cystic acne eruption with a simple application a few times daily. Another great thing about this stuff is that it is totally portable. Throw it in your purse, backpack or briefcase and you can apply it easily to fight acne at any time during the day. Just shake and go and it's cheap too! (Also makes a great stocking stuffer for the teens)


For the plain old regular zit, (and excuse me if this is a bit graphic), you know the one that appears with a small white-head at the top, I return to good old Mario for help because he never lets me down.

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion:

This was the #1 selling product in the store where I worked. Great for those eruptions you are dying to squeeze the life out of. The difference with this spot treatment and the one above it are that this product was designed be applied at night, before bed.

It has a pink sediment at the bottom of the bottle and at first glance your natural instinct is to shake the bottle to combine the ingredients. But it doesn't work that way, you don't shake it. Instead you insert a Q-tip into the bottle, touch the pink sediment and remove it, then apply it to the affected area. It leaves an extremely effective pink spot on your face (it even tingles so you know it's working) which resembles the calamine lotion your mom put on your bug bites and chicken pox when you were a kid. (Actually, calamine or camphor is one of it's active ingredients) This stuff is the Holy Grail of acne spot treatments. Cheap and effective, it doesn't get any easier than this. Zits will disappear within days of it's use.

I'll leave it at that for now, as these are the Navy Seals of acne battle. There are so may more great treatments and if you are interested in more information on those pesky little zits, feel free to ask a question or recommend a great product you know of, in the comment section of this post. If your shy and want to ask in private-shoot me an email and I promise to do my best.

This was great and all but it still doesn't change the fact that I am walking around today with Mt. Rushmore on my forehead.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

McGone you be the McGreatest!

AND THE NEWLY CROWNED KING SAID UNTO HIS PEOPLE........IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING!

Congratulations to McGone!!! (*crowd cheering wildly*) for his big win in The Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame.
It was a great race and a BIG Daily Dandy congrats goes out to the winner and to all who were nominated.

But before all the pomp and circumstance takes place, and HRH McGone gives his acceptance speech and ascends to his Hall of Fame throne, I need to annouce the runners up.

COMMENT CONTENT COMEDY HALL OF FAME RUNNER UPS
1st runner up: Tie
BeckEye
Dr. Zibbs
This is an important role because if the winner, for any reason, can no longer perform his duties, the 1st runner up will take over and be crowned King or Queen. (If ,in fact, this does happen, I'll figure it out later.)
It was a close race, and for a while it looked like any one of these three (BeckEye, Zibbs and McGone) could take the crown.

2nd runner up: Zibbs
Zibsy pulled this one out ALL ALONE. Nice going Zibbs on your second honor in the contest.
3rd runner up: Four way tie.
Mike
Vodka Mom
Poobomber
Falwless, Suze, The Lady Who Dosen't Lunch, Whiskeymarie
There's actually more than four of you here, but what you people decide to do in the privacy of your own home's is really none of my business.
4th Runner up: Three way tie.
Slyde
Pistols at Dawn
BeckEye
Oooh BeckEye, you naughty girl! Behave...
5th Runner up: Tie
Mjenks
Whiskeymarie
Both strong multiple nominees in the competition. (I said multiple nominees, not what you were thinking. Pigs.)
6th Runner up: Tie
Word, Words, Words
Scope/Eric
Great work and congrats to you both on your first honor!
In the category of Honorable Mention the winners are as follows:
HONORABLE MENTION WINNERS
Winner:
Dr. Zibbs (*crowd cheering wildly*)
Yup, that zany guy that is number one in your program and number one in your heart's!!! Zibsy when it comes to honor you reign SUPREME!! Congrats on your third win in this competition.
1st Runner up: Tie
Gwen
Whiskeymarie
Nice work ladies, congrats to you both and to Whiskeymarie on her third honor in the competition.
2nd Runner up: Three way tie
Some Guy
Falwless, Gwen, The Lady who Doesn't Lunch
Kate
Congrats to Some Guy and Kate on thier first victories! Props to Falwless, Gwen and The Lady who Doesn't lunch, all picking up their second nods. And-by the looks of things here, it looks like you could be Some LUCKY Guy. Discuss amongst yourselves.
3rd Runner up: Tie
Anonymous
Big Ben
Both new comers to my blog! Welcome and Congrats to you both on your first nods!
4th Runner up:
The Imaginary Reviewer
And the cheese stands alone. (I mean that in the best possible way-really.) Congrats to you on your first win!
So there you have it- again, Congratulations and a BIG FAT thank you to everyone who participated. I couldn't have done it without you all!
McGone- I just want to say to you-did I not call this?!! Yes I did!! Damn, I am good. Thank Gwen for pulling that gem out of her archives! Oh wait- you already did that on yesterday's post.
Anyway, Well done and I turn the podium over to you-You Be The KING!!!!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Gentelmen (and ladies), start your engines!!!

*Please be advised, the content presented here is adult in nature and may contain the use of profanity and sexually explicit content. Content of this nature is expressed here today only for the purposes of the electoral process and not usually contained within writings posted on this site daily. Kinda.

I received 26 equally hilarious posts and comments for nomination to the Hall of Fame. That being said, my job, to whittle them down to only 10, was NOT easy. Then, you factor in that what may strike some as comical may not be as funny to another, and you begin to see my conundrum. It is also the beauty of this democratic process.

So, taking into consideration the fact that there is so much good stuff here, I decided to post the top 15 for consideration on the ballot (can you blame me?) and the other 10 for the category of Honorable Mention.

The guide lines for the election are as follows:
  • The nominations are numbered so that you can correspond your vote with your favorite numbered comment nominee on the ballot.

  • The blogger who nominated the other is named first, then the URL linking you to the post with the nominee's comment and then the actual comment nominated. *a word of caution: I got so lost in all the other hilarious comments on the posts that I had to keep going back and checking to see who was nominated. Better to stay the course, for the integrity of your vote-then go back and re-read later.

  • Voting ends at 3am EST tonight. You may vote for as many nominees as you like-and let's employ the honor system here-but you may only vote for a nominee ONCE.

  • The voting is open to ALL bloggers. You need not have nominated someone in order to cast a vote.

  • The winner will be revealed Tuesday morning.

Without further adieu, I present to you the NOMINEES: (in no specific order)

#1. Falwless nominated Mike for:
http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/10/atonement.html

mike said...
I don't even think that's a real unicorn.
#2. MeLO nominated The iNDefatigable mjenks for:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...
Wow. I was afraid we were gonna go all Sharks and Jets there for a second.
#3. Dr Zibbs nominated Words, Words, Words for:

words words words said...
I say he's getting you accustomed to this form of communication so that he can fulfill his legal requirement to notify you that he's a sex offender without actually talking to you face to face.Even if that's NOT it, this is the best thing that could ever happen to your blog. I'm jealous
#4. Dr. Zibbs nominated Whiskeymarie for:

Whiskeymarie said...
I actually once dated a guy who basically just left me a note. He ended up being the boyfriend who didn't ever really have a job who played Nintendo all day naked, but it really did have a sweet beginning. Our first date was (and I don't say gross stuff like this often)...magical. Who cares if it's the garbageman? That means he has a steady job and will bring you all sorts of cool stuff that he found on his route, like broken chairs and unwanted babies.
#5. Candy nominated Vodka Mom for:

Vodka Mom said...
sweet baby jesus. Finger condoms? I'd type more, but it's hard to type with one hand, while the other is protecting my a**.
#6 Gwen nominated Eric (who I am assuming is this funny dude) for:

Eric said...
I'm waiting to see one of these headlines from the Post Dispatch...
Joe "Six Pack" Biden Caught Trolling for Walleye
Completely Hairless Woman Terrifies Small Children With Lack Of Eyelashes
Metropolitan St. Louis Sewer District Tells Soulard Woman – We've Taken About Enough Of Your S**t
Local Office Worker "Works From Home" on Fridays. Rest of Office Sees 15% Productivity Increase.
Angie Devastated As Brad Elopes With Her ARCH Nemesis
#7. Falwess nominated Beckeye for:
BeckEye said...
You know that elevator that you're on has an H for "Hell," don't you?
#8 Falwess nominated Dr. Zibbs for:

Dr Zibbs said...
Falwless, you've got a good blog, but when it comes to Science, you don't know shit. Let me field this question. You see, when you got a proton and you want to split it..wait..there's an atom split but it's very small so when...uh..I gotta go.
* funny post Fal-equally funny comment Zibbsy; but be sure to read mjenks comment also. it was TRUE genius.
#9. Candy nominated Slyde for:

Slyde said...the dog is just being framed by the white man...
#10. Candy nominated Poobomber for:

Poobomber said...
You forgot to mention Bob likes spanking and hardcore a**play and a*al, while Mavis likes double penetration and dirty sex with strangers.
They're the perfect couple. They thank Jesus every time when Bob can pick up a hitchhiker leaving Mt. Rushmore, bring him home, tie him up, and he and Mavis can get their freak on....

*click above to read the rest. Great Stuff. BTW-you both should write a book about the life of Bob and Mavis. Good times.
#11. Gwen nominated Pistols at Dawn for:
pistols at dawn said...
Finally, someone using children for their intended purpose: prop comedy.
#12. Gwen nominated McGone for:
McGone said...
Is it gross to make out with an elf?Not at all, but if you are expecting them to call you the next day, you'll be very disappointed.I'm sorry, I have to go. I have something in my eye.
#13. Fancy Schmancy nominated Dr. Zibbs for:
Dr Zibbs said...
That lady is a jerk! But how funny would it have been if when you asked the kids where his mom was he was really a midge like on the Warner Brothers cartoons, "Listen seee, I'm a full grown man. Whadya talkin' about lady?"
*read further the back and forth with Fancy and Zibbs. Great stuff.
#14. The Imaginary Reviewer nominated Beckeye for:

BeckEye said...
I went to high school with this girl who was a crazy born again Christian, and she told me that horoscopes were the "gateway" to devil worship. Well sir, talk about being able to predict the future! One night, after she told me that for the umpteenth time, I ripped her tongue out, cut her throat and offered up her blood to the Dark One. She's my zombie slave now and, gosh, we still laugh about the irony of that whole thing.

#15. Gwen nominated The Lady Who Dosen't Lunch, Falwess, Suze, and Whiskeymarie for:
Falwless said...
*moves tent to back porch*
The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...
I'm very sorry. I pooped in your bushes while I was waiting.
Suze said...
Camping on your front porch - ha? I broke into your house, drank your alcohol, slept in your bed and ate the last of your Rice Krispies. Wait....you do live in New Jersey right? gulp...right?
Whiskeymarie said...
I was camping on what I THOUGHT was your porch...Your neighbors have no sense of humor whatsoever. You'd think they would have been HAPPY to come home to a passed out drunk chick in her underwear. Hmmm...maybe it was the vomit in the mailbox that they were mad about. Who can really say?

So there you have your Top 15 nominees for consideration. As I said, this was not easy so if you didn't see your favorite above, you can cast a vote for them in the Honorable Mention category.

Honorable Mention Nominees are as follows: (in no specific order)

#1. Dr Zibbs nominated Some Guy for:
Some Guy said...
I actually prefer StatCounter for my statistical needs (I have used Google Analytics, too). It seems like it's much more detailed. For example, it tells me what people are wearing when they read my blog. Seriously, some of you people are pretty depraved.
#2. Gwen nominated Gwen and Whiskeymarie for:

Gwen said...
Whiskeymarie is a man.Oh shit, that's not MY secret to tell. Oops
Whiskeymarie said...
I had something funny to say, but I was laughing so hard at what Gwen said that I forgot what it was. Oh yeah- Gwen has a "thing" for midgets, and she has webbed feet.
Gwen said...
Whiskeymarie speaks the truth; I'm a very good swimmer.
#3. Falwess nominated Dr. Zibbs for:

Dr Zibbs said...
Mavis: Bob! We're on the Internet!
Bob: Did we win something?
Mavis: I don't know...it.. looks like...we're getting made fun of.
Bob: Get my gun.
#4 Candy nominated The iNDefatigable mjenks for:
*don't read the whole thing-well, you can if you want to- but scroll down to the picture of Mel Gibson and read just that.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...
That chick to the left looks Jewish. You think Mel's uncomfortable?
#5. Gwen nominated Falwess for:
But Falwess graciously denominated herself. I just love this post! It is hilarious and Gwen's comment is a classic to which the Lady who dosen't lunch's reply is great too! A vote here is for all three of them!

Falwless said...
I cannot stop laughing. F**K. This is way funnier than anything I have ever posted on my blog ever. In the history of ever. I may just have to rename my blog after seeing this post. Or add the addendum (except for Gifts from a Broad). S**t.I'm gonna go read it again and laugh like I've never read it before. It's always better the second time around because then you know when the good parts are coming up.God I need a life.
Gwen said:
A gaggle of Car Sh***ing F**k Knuckles destroyed the interior of my convertible once. I've had the it hand-detailed twice and that s**t won't come off in some places. The same night someone stole the instruction manual for my car out of the glove box. I didn't lock it because, really, who steals a f**king instruction manual?!? A dipsh*t who can't likely read, that's who.Oh Lady, you've got me riled up now. Look out.
The Lady Who Doesn’t Lunch said:
Gwen - It's the Elmer's glue in their diet that keeps the s**t sticking for decades. Little bastards. Calm down Gwennie - get a drink.
#6. Gwen nominated The Imaginary Reviewer for:
The Imaginary Reviewer said...
Wow, he's playing a hand? That's impressive. Soon he'll work his way up to being a groin, then a torso, and eventually he'll be a whole boy!
#7. Gwen nominated Anonymous for:
Anonymous said...
Gwen and Brian: The first meeting.
Gwen: It's so nice to finally meet you!
Brian: (Scribble, scribble, scribble)
Gwen: You say "You have watched me from afar and have been too shy to come forward." How cute!

*click above to read the entire comment.



#8. Mr. nominated Big Ben for:

· Big Ben said:
There is no doubt I would have punched him in the face.
· Big Ben said:
on second thought I don’t want to fight someone with an erection
#9. Fancy Schmancy nominated Kate for:

kate said...
Ha! That is a great story!! And I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one. Last year, when my daughter was in first grade, I went to pick her up from school. Another (very proper) mother and I were discussing a play date and pick up times. I MEANT to ask "What time to you eat dinner?" Instead I asked "What time do you start drinking?" Yes, I'm afraid I did.
#10. Dr. Zibbs nominated McGone for:

McGone said...
It would really be a cherry on top if the owner said "OK, now that you have the costume on, let's practice the dance moves."

Told you this would take some time. My work here is done. Happy Voting!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Please pardon any inconvienience during the construction...

Finally. "We will wait no longer for the crumbs at America's door...., (well just long enough till my next post) The day has arrived to vote to crown the first Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Famer. Hooray! I will be posting the top ten nominees and their gut-busting comments in the next few hours so keep checking!
Oh what a ride it has been!

Over the past 72 hours I have received many hilarious, obscene, outrageous, amazing and laugh out loud nominations for the Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame. Let me first say a huge THANK YOU to all the bloggers who have participated. (I love you guys!)

This zany, fun filled, time consuming trip began on Friday when I spent the entire day gratuitously pimping myself out all over the bloggersphere. I am NOT ashamed to admit that I did some serious butt licking, trying to get the word out and on more than a few occasions I damn near made myself sick.
(Like when I was leaving Jon from Extraneous Kickassery a comment to get him to play-him being my Beantown homey and all-imploring a fellow member of the Nation (Red Sox Nation) to check it out. I read it back to myself and suddenly realized I had reached a new low by abusing the sanctity of the Nation and deleted it. )

But I did it for the integrity of the Hall of Fame and I would do it all again.

Was it worth it? Hell yes! We got some really funny stuff, so when the time comes, VOTE and VOTE often.

Of course I have my favorite's, as I am sure you do, and I couldn't begin to tell you who the winner will be. The suspense is just about killing me. BUT-I can tell you this:

This process will most certainly take you some time. (I oughta know since I have been doing this all fricken weekend) My suggestion would be to view the nominees when you have a free block of time to take them all in, uninterrupted.

The last thing I need to do is thank three of my favorite blogger people in the universe. Zibsy, Poobomber and Gwen. I want you three to know that I know there is no way I could have EVER even come close to getting the response that I got without your help and support. I offer you my sincerest gratitude.

Again, the games will begin in the next few hours. So, in preperation for the task at hand, I present you with a small sample of great comedic genius at work.

To thank my Big Three, I present these posts that have caused me, personally, laugh out loud moments that have sent my family running through the house to see what the heck was going on.

Zibbs-If a picture speaks a thousand words then...you sir are the master.

http://thatblueyak.blogspot.com/2008/11/hot-tub-action-potential-tonight.html

Peebs- I am quite sure that there are far better ones, but this is the post that made me a complete The Other Side of Normal groupie.

http://othersideofnormal.com/2008/11/proposed-voting-rules/#comments

Gwen-I didn't choose this one because it's about me-I chose it because it illustrates that special "Gwen'e sais quois" that I'm learning only you posses. I love how you put your little Gwenzie spin on my story. Check out my comment-( and can I get an honorable mention for that?)and never one to be out done-Gwen's response to my comment.

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/11/its-just-wafer-thin-mint.html


So, like Ahhnold in the Terminator-I'LL BE BACK!!!!